Fake it til you make it.

geenomike · 2011-04-10T23:09:49+00:00

There's a speech in which the Dalai Lama advises, even urges, people to "fake it till you make it".

TrainWreck43 · 2011-04-11T00:31:40+00:00

I've just told myself that I am awesome. That's it. I used to have horrible self-confidence. But then I just decided that I wouldn't anymore. I made it my goal to convince myself that I am worth something.

I did the same thing years back and thats exactly how I did it. It's a conscious decision you have to make. Nobody is going to "give you permission" to be great. You have to make the decision for yourself that "YES, I am pretty kick ass, I deserve good things like anybody else, and I'm going to seek these things out and I will have them eventually."

It worked miracles for me, I went from the loser in the corner by himself to the guy getting all the female attention at a get together and the other guys getting jealous! I hardly could believe it myself the first few times it happened, to be honest.

The bottom line is nobody is attracted to a low confidence wuss, because he's broadcasting signals that TELL everyone he sucks! So be confident and broadcast the signal instead that you rule! :)

jackjm83 · 2011-04-11T02:36:09+00:00

I thought I was going to fake it till I make it. Then I wondered what "making it" meant. I was wondering, what the hell do "they" have that I don't. The answer keept eluding me. Then I just realised, there isn't an answer because there is NOTHING that makes them great. They probably just never thought about it and so, they never had any reason to doubt it. My problem was thinking too much, their solution was to not think at all.

HyeR · 2011-04-11T05:48:42+00:00

Were all waiting around here to die. You might as well just say fuck it and do what ever the hell there is to do in this life. No exceptions, just go fucking do it.

Once you start to realize this is all there is, youll start to see how foolish it is to sit up in your head getting angry that you cant do something. Instead just think, If I dont do this now Im just gonna die one day and never have had the experience. And since life is pretty much meaningless in the sense that it all ends one day, it seems completely foolish to keep yourself from doing what you truly want.

In short. Life is for living. So fucking live it as best you can, so when you die you can say to your self "damn that was fucking rad".

KeyboardChemistry · 2011-04-11T01:13:53+00:00

Thing you would find interesting:

Post-modernism, anti-foundationalism, social-constructivism, etc etc etc. Seriously interesting shit that basically agrees with you.

ChiefChongo · 2011-04-11T02:19:00+00:00

When you go from avoiding social interaction to just jumping right into faux-confidently chatting random people up, you're going to make some mistakes. You aren't fully aware of the rules, but these become apparent pretty quickly.

This is my problem right now, and it's pretty rough sometimes. I've become a bit of a loner over the past year, and my ability to confidently hold conversations with people has suffered. I seek solitude a lot because I don't think I can function socially. I'm trying to get out of this slump, though, and your words have helped encourage me. Great post, man.

pua_puma · 2011-04-11T05:05:13+00:00

One of the greatest things I ever heard was someone who told me, "nobody knows what they're doing, everybody's just winging it". If you think about it, it's so true. Some people just act more confident and never question it.

InsouciantS · 2011-04-11T04:50:24+00:00

well why aren't you awesome?

I think confidence is a process in which you learn to appreciate yourself and are able to share it with others.

gbreddit · 2011-04-11T06:51:18+00:00

In my opinion, there is no such thing as faking it til you make it. Once you consciously take those steps you mentioned, you're already in the process of making it.

otheracctz · 2011-04-10T23:00:03+00:00

Great post! Thank you.

rocket31 · 2011-04-11T03:52:05+00:00

If men define situations as real; they are real in their consequences - The Thomas Theorem.

bmay · 2011-04-11T16:40:14+00:00

"Fake it till you make it" worked for me for awhile but then a few things happened and I fell from my throne because of some cognitive distortions I had been holding onto my entire life. While it's great that you are having success, I would also suggest you read some literature to see why you were so socially anxious in the first place just so you can keep your head up if things go bad for a little bit.

I would suggest you read the book "Intimate Connections" by Dr. David Burns. It talks about cognitive-behavioral therapy and is awesome for this sort of stuff.

HeadBoy · 2011-04-10T23:36:24+00:00

I agree 100%

From my personal experience, my last couple of relationships ended up being long term, and I noticed I grew a habit. Because my mind set in a relationship is it gives me (in a way) a green light to act how ever I want (especially if I noticed people flirting with me) and so now, single for other reasons, I've grown incredibly creepy :P because, where before I wasn't actually trying to flirt, and so I would do the oddest things just for the fun of it, now is really affecting me (in a funny bad way) haha.

So yes, thanks for reminding me how much we influence ourselves :)

jamesbond664 · 2011-04-11T00:13:13+00:00

cool framing, I like. I'll use this.

sosueme · 2011-04-11T06:52:51+00:00

I saw Rango. and honestly that is the best "movie" I have seen this year.. and yeah.. it is all about that

bertieem · 2011-04-11T09:01:34+00:00

"When I'm sad I stop being sad and be awesome instead" This phrase changed my life after breaking up with an ex. I know it is for How I Met Your Mother, but it is still a fantastic phrase. I'm glad to hear being aweesome has done wonders for you too. Keep being Awesome

jakedebest · 2011-04-11T13:05:18+00:00

This line works for some people, but not for others. Some people just can't seem to get out of their own rut until somebody makes them : e.g "you look really good today" will make someone realise that they are worthy. other than "I look really good today, and I am awesome".

If you just don't give a fuck in the sense that nothing can put you down (not like a slob attitude) then you will go far

2011-04-11T16:36:35+00:00

If you don't believe in your self, no one well. That realization has completely transformed my game.

07SS · 2011-04-11T23:12:23+00:00

As my Dad says... "People will love and follow someone with confidence... just look at Hitler" and proceeded to tell me it doesn't matter if it's fake or not, all that matters is if you hide its superficial nature well enough.

I find it helpful to have someone in your head at all times to remind you "confidence is key, just look at x".

JewelzJade · 2011-04-11T19:13:02+00:00

Does this advice apply to orgasms as well?

ckalibur345 · 2011-04-11T12:36:47+00:00

So the moral of this story is: "Don't think about anything, just do it. don't ever have a conflicting idea of doing what you want, just do it. don't second guess yourself, you're worth a million bucks and if you know it and believe it then others will too."

2011-04-11T12:44:57+00:00

tl;dr you can buy sex with integrity

Title	Fake it til you make it.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	204
Comments	44
Date	April 10, 2011 9:49 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gmx5v/fake_it_til_you_make_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/fake-it-til-you-make-it.1317236 https://theredarchive.com/post/1317236

Comments