having a mid life crisis

zebekias · 2026-04-01T22:15:07+00:00

We have it way better than women. If you are an overall somewhat attractive man that’s in shape, dresses sharp, is well off, has a great lifestyle etc, the number won’t be that important for some hot young women. But you have to really have your act together, period. So work towards being the man. I dated women in their 20s in my early 40s and married a 28yo at 47. To be frank this is not ideal, but I was a totally clueless nerd at 36 so it was not by choice, I had a lot of learning to do and things to “fix”. In the end things worked out great for me but my advice is to be judicious with your time while you are still relatively young.

Be ruthless about going for your ideal girls, and when you find what you really want, do not hesitate to pull the trigger.

FromGymToQuim · 2026-04-02T00:07:28+00:00

30 here.

No problem at all. If anyone has an issue with age gaps, fuck them. As long as you’re not creeping around for minors and doing anything illegal, then anything between two consenting adults is okay.

My 20’s was garbage. Bald, overweight, bad teeth. I ironically look younger in my early thirties now since I lost 30+ lbs, fixed hair, went abroad to fix teeth. I don’t actively go looking for college chicks but I am in college as an older student and it’s no issue at all as long as:

You’re in decent or good shape
Don’t give off unc or grandpa vibes.

You have a baby face and that already works in your favor. I can’t stand it when these dumb ass people go around judging your dating preferences and tell you to “date chicks your own age”

Guess what? I never enjoyed that in my twenties so I’m now making up for it. I guarantee that those same people had all their fun in their early years.

optimal981 · 2026-04-01T21:33:23+00:00

I’m 34, last year I dated a girl who was 24 for a few months.

I find girls in their mid 20’s to be the best. Still very physically attractive, have better sense of style, right level of confidence, can hold a conversation, has a career so I don’t have to pay for every thing.

No_Relief7644 · 2026-04-02T14:56:22+00:00

Turning 29 gave me all sorts of weird anxieties of the same sort. I ended up using that year to solo travel and dated as much as I could with women from all over the world. I'm so glad I did that and I learned a lot about myself. I just turned 30 and the fear of aging has lessened. Give me a sexy and compatible 27 year old instead.

I can leave that behind me now but the only way I could was experiencing it for myself. I dated early 20s women and it was fun and validating but left me with nothing in the end. I want resonance now.

AlmostACaptain · 2026-04-02T15:02:00+00:00

If 29 is midlife then I'm fucked.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2026-04-01T22:12:04+00:00

Just look at Toby Maguire. He's 50 with a 20 something. Simply work on yourself, workout, make money and there will always be girls who are into older men. Test them for gold digging, remove the trash form your life and have fun. Besides, you will still look young for the next 10-15 years if you work out. You worry too much.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-04-02T12:58:32+00:00

We are pretty much all attracted to women 18-22. But what's wrong with women aged 29? They often look identical to women aged 22. So I'm guessing it's not a looks-issue. But something else.

So what about that age-range do you like? Their naivety? Their lack of experience? Or what exactly? You feel childish / immature so you want someone at your level? (purposefully being a bit prickly here to get at your core)

Just trying to push you a little on this, because growing up is learning to be attracted to women your own age as well. They say attraction isn't a choice, but I believe that's only half-true. You can develop a mindset of looking for beauty and find appreciation for a broader range of people.

morphinetango · 2026-04-02T19:27:57+00:00

I dated way more girls in their early to mid-20s while in my mid-30s, and 90% of the time I was not the pursuer. This younger generation of women is fed up with a great deal of boys their age, so age gaps are becoming far more common. That being said, once you reach a certain level of maturity, their lack of maturity becomes more obvious and less attractive. Focus on yourself. Anybody who isn't somebody in your life is just a fuckin bystander, dude.

Davus_P · 2026-04-03T15:49:15+00:00

The only people having issues with age gap relationships are terminally online no-lifers. You will almost certainly not encounter them in real life.

You might be out of age scope for some young girls on dating apps, but they got so bad over the last couple of years that you shouldn't rely on them anyway. In social settings, your age will likely not even come up as a topic if you look like someone in his twenties.

Also, you have no business having a mid-life crisis at 29.

morphinetango · 2026-04-02T19:28:07+00:00

I dated way more girls in their early to mid-20s while in my mid-30s, and 90% of the time I was not the pursuer. This younger generation of women is fed up with a great deal of boys their age, so age gaps are becoming far more common. That being said, once you reach a certain level of maturity, their lack of maturity becomes more obvious and less attractive. Focus on yourself. Anybody who isn't somebody in your life is just a bystander, dude.

MineDesperate2920 · 2026-04-04T00:56:19+00:00

I’m 37 and prob could still but way harder than it used to be. My value needs to be a lot higher and my frame needs to be super strong when you find out how old I am.

For example if she says how old are you and I say 37 and she’s 20. I need to be super confident and unphased when she likely will say “omg your so old etc”

bmcapers · 2026-04-04T22:03:03+00:00

I actually found older women more attractive the older I got. I didn’t expect that. The best way I can describe it is that it’s like the personality of the woman shapes how her body evolves, and the curves of her body bring to light her personal strengths.

Confident_Potato_264 · 2026-04-02T14:01:00+00:00

Its a little creepy that you are so focused on age 18-22....

Try looking for actual characteristics (Nurturing, Life long learner, adventure seeking, hard working, career oriented, and so on) that you would like to see in a partner not just the age.

If age is all you care about then you shouldn't be dating anyone at all.

LeadAcrobatic9482 · 2026-04-02T14:27:34+00:00

I don’t think that I will ever face this, I am 19yo and still earning in 6 figures doing the thing I love👀

IGetBoredSometimes23 · 2026-04-02T19:10:35+00:00

When you get older you probably won't want to pull women that young.

I'm in my 40s. I don't want to date anyone under 35 because we won't have anything in common and women my age are usually better in bed.

ArmitageShanks69 · 2026-04-02T11:10:00+00:00

I went on a date with an attractive 20 year old when I was 36, though we tongue-wrestled I never saw her again afterwards. I'm an ugly guy so that was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me that I fucked up, as it was her that initially made the first move. 3 years later at the age of 39 was not only the last time I had sex with a woman, who I think was about 25-26, married, but the last time I ever dated or had any physical contact with any woman.

Title	having a mid life crisis
Author	lfg141
Upvotes	16
Comments	32
Date	April 1, 2026 9:25 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1s9xyh8/having_a_mid_life_crisis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/having-a-mid-life-crisis.1576923 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576923

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