How do I convey interest casually without being creepy

GSD8055 · 2019-07-11T11:16:41+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2019-07-11T10:54:23+00:00

keep it light and fun. if you're having a good time and speaking off the cuff, people will take it lightly.

actually one thing that helped me was watching better call Saul with how he fliers with old ladies. it's an extreme example, but something clicked for me.

therealbigoso · 2019-07-11T11:50:56+00:00

Don’t go into a conversation with a girl thinking like this. If you constantly overanalyze your thoughts and words, you’ll get paralyzed and come off as creepy. Just learn what works for you, not what works for someone else.

Spaceman7Spiff · 2019-07-11T13:57:46+00:00

As others have said: this stuff doesn't just happen overnight but the biggest thing is to learn how to bring your thoughts, intentions, and actions into congruence. Girls get creeped out when they can't tell what you really want... they can sense that you are being deceptive or are hiding something and that makes them uncomfortable.

So maybe start by making a firm decision on what you really want from a particular girl, and then just openly and unashamedly go for it. That doesn't mean you have to go for sex every time. Maybe just decide you are going to have a nice friendly 2-min chat and then walk away.

tanenbaum · 2019-07-11T18:23:37+00:00

You're creepy when:

-you're taking talking to the girl very seriously

-you think highly of a stranger that you know nothing about and you want her to like you really hard

-you're intense and serious in your body language and tonality and you're taking her very seriously

-you're overthinking, trying to say something cool and impressive, something she'll like.

Interact with the girl to have a fun interaction, coming from the frame that this is what you do, and see where the fuck it goes. You said it yourself - flirting with every girl he knows. You probably want to do the same thing, but only with the girls you find attractive. You need to get into the groove of doing the same thing as him. Don't interact with a girl with an intense intent of getting in her pants, do it to have fun.

begone_sharma · 2019-07-11T14:30:39+00:00

Lick their neck from behind, obviously. Works for me all the time.

FruitDealer666 · 2019-07-11T14:19:57+00:00

What do you mean he’s asian ? Are asian men in the US at a disadvantage ?

2019-07-11T16:33:13+00:00

Baby steps my man. Everybody and there uncle has advice for what to do in each situation. You sir are a white belt and in no way should you step into the ring of game with straight cold approaches. What do baby steps look like to get you to black belt status?

Start with walking past women and smiling. Set yourself a goal of how many smiles you want reciprocated and chalk that up to a victory.
Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world for a reason. Here you will compound activities to fortify your skills. Now, smile + "Hello". Once again, set yourself a daily target of how many "hello's" you want reciprocated.
Now: Smile + "hello" + "How is your day going?"

etc.

The approach and face to face time are the toughest challenges to surmount. Once you're over that hurdle you can work on more complex skills like humor and escalation. Also, don't think you have to only focus on drop dead gorgeous women. You should be practicing on any women (outside of your family!) Women are women and you can learn a lot from general interactions with old, young, attractive, unattractive, shy, outgoing, mothers, grandmothers, single women etc.

God speed young man!

Jkskradski · 2019-07-11T19:38:16+00:00

I'm female, can I post?

Creepiness, like beauty is much in the eye of the beholder. 1---If she's interested in you, as long as you're appropriate and respectful , you probably won't be creepy. MOVE SLOWLY. 2---if she's not interested in you, and you push too much, you're creepy.

MOVE SLOWLY.

High fives/knuckles, great. Those are 99% of the time good to go. Usually you will be on a team, or have seen her before. This is to be used at the VERY beginning. If it goes on for too long, it can be an indication of lack of interest. This can be moved into hugs in due time.

When you have that, she's associating you with fun.

Also, girls are usually cool with hugs AFTER you've hung out a few times and had fun, AND you hold your arms open, pause, and let them come to you. You should be thinking of them as someone UNSEXUAL. I would imagine that's difficult, but it's VERY important. If you're getting a hug you're in the right direction. Like a litmus test. If she doesn't come in for the hug. You, cannot assume she is trying to brush you off. Some girls are NOT ok with being hugged. Actually I know several people who just simply don't like being hugged even after years of friendship. It DEFINITELY means you must get to know her more.

Creepyness can = jerkiness/douchbaginess.

Talk to EVERYONE whether you like them or not. That's the first test. After about 1-3 hours, you can kind of feel a vibe of who you want to talk to more. AND who you don't want to talk to more There is a chance that either 1- they don't want to talk to you (they absolutely have this right---you may feel insulted, but move on), 2- they're painfully shy (this is where very light teasing that is in an UNSEXUAL nature comes in), 3- they're not quite ready. 4--girls may play "hard to get", but if they are, it's conversations that need to happen before you need and you usually get to lead. That does mean putting your heart out there, however.

If she touches you, she's flirting with a "lowest level" may or may not mean something but usually shows you're moving in the right direction if that's what you want. 👍🏻

If you're interested in girl A, and girl B starts flirting. Be nice, no matter what, They are on the same team and if you're rude or disrespectful to girl B girl A won't like you which could = creepyness.

Joke around, but HAVE FUN!

DDutch96 · 2019-07-11T10:42:27+00:00

If a girl compliments you or touches you. Reciprocate with a compliment on something specific that they may be dressed in, makeup, hair etc.

This can probs be done without them initiating too just make it a casual discussion I get compliments of girls about my features as a dude so surely its fine back?

wagsyman · 2019-07-11T14:44:34+00:00

You can tell if a girl is uncomfortable right? Just flirt and if you can tell she's not about it then back off

__Astolfo__ · 2019-07-11T15:03:03+00:00

Become attractive (and it's not just about your looks).

Creepy is not what you do, it's how the woman percieves it. If she likes you, it will be appreciated. If she does not, she will say it is creepy.

It means 2 things:

1: you have to work on your attractiveness (looks, confidence, hobbies, ...) and flirt.
2: if a girl find you creepy, too bad for her. And you go onto the next one.

2019-07-11T17:07:22+00:00

You have to have positive emotions when you flirt with a girl and give good eye contact. You can't be thinking of anything negative. The emotion that you project means a lot more to her than what you are saying/doing. You gotta be able to get a girl to smile without words. You do this by switching your emotions from a natural state and then amping them up to joyful one. You can pretty much talk about anything and have this. It's a skill and it takes time to develop. I recommend watching some RSD videos on YouTube. Especially the ones about state control. Your emotional state is important because whenever you look a girl in the eyes your state is being transferred on to them. If you feel like shit then she will get a bad first impression of you.

So whenever I enter a set. I'm bringing the fun and being joyful and expressive. I'm not thinking about shit at all. I just EXPRESS myself through my body language and emotions.

For example, there was this girl at work that I talk to a lot. Today I see her come over looking for something so I go to help her. (Before I open my mouth or even approach her I am switching my emotions from being negative to being positive)

Now I was feeling a little down prior to that but, I don't want this girl feeling that! You gotta share your positivity. You want them leaving happy regardless of what you are doing.

A Step by step process of what I did when I approached.

Focused on presence to get out of my current state of mood.
Became positive and uplifting
Made eye contact with her while talking through positive emotion. I didn't care about what I was saying but more of what I was feeling!
1. She began to smile a lot! And laugh. I wasn't even being funny.

HenSica · 2019-07-11T16:14:25+00:00

Redefine creepy, because it’s commonly used as a catch all umbrella term for any discomfort or awkwardness.

It is not creepy to approach someone you’re attracted to and start a conversation. Nor is it creepy to express that you are sexually or romantically interested in that person.

What is creepy is if you ignore communicated boundaries, whether they are implicit (turning her back, brushing you off, palm to your face), or explicit (sorry I’m not interested, please leave me alone.) If you ignore these signs and keep pressing, then you are creepy.

These boundaries can only be communicated if you actually engage these people and cross a line. It is a necessity to cross a line, so that you can demonstrate your capacity to respect boundaries. Walking on eggshells to prevent any instance of offending someone is not permissible in the court(ship) of love.

OmgItsCavendish · 2019-07-11T18:45:37+00:00

It's not as much what you say, but how you say it and with what physical posture. Novice will be creepy cause they say it without any confidence after spending 10 minutes considering if they are going to do it and what's the best thing to say and their body language shows. It's not spontaneous, it's a thought out thing which should be stronger and make him say it with more confidence, but what happens is the contrary he over thought and now if she doesn't give him x answer there he goes. And if she actually gives him a positive answer he will not know what to do and embarass himself and there goes the confidence again down the drain cause he 'fucked up' after the aproach. Your friend gives no fucks whether the girls will respond positively or negatively so he just says what comes to his head, he doesn't think whether or not he should say something, his brain is wired to just say it. The more time you take to answer her after you started the aproach the worst it is, a 2 second brake before you speak back is ideal, but you need to change the expression of your face positively, if you change to surprise or sadness you just lost it. If she gives you a negative answer and you wait 2 seconds with a smirk on your face and give a decent answer it's much better than a positive response to the first thing you said. Those 2 seconds are where you need to choose where you will lead and how you will lead the conversation based on her response. Just banter with girls, practice, don't try to flirt just try to banter until you feel it coming naturally and you're no longer scared of saying something wrong, you put them on a pedestal where you agree with them and they can be no wrong to you and you have no chemistry or a good talk. Personally i annoy my friends, they call me the enemy of sanity, i will take things out of context, i will say to a girl waitress shit like 'So we want x, y and z and also v(my straight female friend) wants your number'. The consequences are in your head, not in real life. You will not die cause you said the wrong thing, if she's not into it, she will just leave and boom you can go look for a better one. Literally say 'yeha this is boring and that hot girl just gave me the eyes, cya' and go talk to the other girl, it's not offensive and she will believe you have fucking big balls for saying that.

smoothmax · 2019-07-11T20:06:17+00:00

If you're just baffled and flustered at the moment, I would take a step back and temporarily try to forget about getting dates, getting laid and impressing girls.

A really good basic technique that I picked up in a "PUA for Beginners" product somewhere (forget which one) was to:

1) Have fun

2) Make other people have fun

... in any situation, without regard to whether it's with friends, family, classmates, co-workers or with strangers.

You don't have to become a non-sexual person, just be a guy who's going to have fun no matter what is going on. Be generous and help everyone else to relax. "Fun" doesn't mean being a dancing monkey or a rapid-fire comedian, it just means you're able to find something about the situation that you like, and indirectly or directly convey to others what it is that's fun about what's going on.

When you're consistently able to hit this mode you'll find that chicks are starting to gravitate around you naturally just because your a fungi, as they say. Don't get flustered, act desperate, and blow it! Just treat the attention they're giving you as more fun, in other words just sit there and enjoy it.

When you're able to just relax and enjoy the attention, THEN try mixing in some PUA conversation techniques. In a very basic way, without setting goals for yourself. A bit of banter, a bit of comfort-building, a bit of DHV, ask one or two questions about logistics like, do you live in the west end? Or, do you work on weekends? Don't try to follow the advanced PUA's flashy videos where they immediately go for the phone #, insta-date or Same Day Lay! (at first)

You can literally practice these things on anyone: old people, young people, relatives, clerks, bosses and so on.

Here's one more tip that I think came out of a book on Social Intelligence: whenever you find yourself talking or listening to someone and you feel any kind of tension or nervousness (such as when it's a hot babe), don't freak out but instead silently say these words: "Slow Down". Slip into a sort of quiet, "just breathing" mode. It's not catatonia, it's just "being" which is the opposite of being creepy.

brabg · 2019-07-12T11:44:14+00:00

If you think that you are creepy, you will behave creepy.

If you think that you have no right to talk to women, you will communicate fear, and will try to overcompensate by involuntarily being aggressive.

That's a common mistake of newbies. They read that women are attracted to jerks, because they do not see the difference between a real jerk, and an honest man that respect himself and is not a snowflake. Then they approach women by being jerks, get rejected, and then get angry at women for not accepting his jerkness.

You have to understand that women like sex. They are not snowflakes, delicate beings at risk of being hurt by being sexual.

It is your role as man to be sexual, and their role as women to have sex. As man, you are offering to them, something they want.

Understand that you are offering sex, and not asking it. Understand that there is noting creepy about it. You convey it with a DGAF, nonchalant attitude.

If you think that you are creepy, you talk with aggressive voice tones, like you are putting down women for being whores. Obviously women pick on that nonverbal communication, and deem you as creepy, for the contradiction between the hostility/fear in your voice, and the value you offer as source of sex.

Do not talk to women by thinking "I have to not be fearful or aggressive", because you are focusing your mind on fear and hostility, and your mind automatically expresses fear and hostility.

Talk by thinking that you are horny and magnetic, and your mind will express it in your voice.

JucaKfouri · 2019-07-11T14:50:34+00:00

u/1691errado

GrislyGrape · 2019-07-11T17:13:38+00:00

"I like big butts and I cannot lie."

MBSCinsight · 2019-07-11T17:21:37+00:00

You literally just answered your own question in your question. The answer is "Flirt with Girls" the more you do it the better you'll get at it.

andyman30 · 2019-07-11T17:44:58+00:00

Lol. Be attractive. NOT ALL THE TIME. But a large majority of it, the only difference between sexual harassment and flirting is whether they find you attractive or not. Inb4 the white knights come crashing in, lecturing me about what sexual harassment is.

TheLoveGuardian · 2019-07-11T17:51:20+00:00

Start here then watch the flirting series:

All Girls Poop

dreamatoriumx · 2019-07-11T18:04:04+00:00

You walk up to them and say

"Hey, I like your face."

Blickygottgestiffy69 · 2019-07-11T18:30:16+00:00

Be attractive
Don't be unattractive

Tokemoke · 2019-07-11T19:47:03+00:00

Practice. You have to fail in order to know what not to do and how to push the envelope. Try being subtle at first and then gradually escalate but try not to compliment too much.

Holding eye contact. Establishing touch. Be playful. Just a few things you could start on.

dummymagic · 2019-07-11T20:01:51+00:00

Be yourself and don't overthinking it. Make sure you smile and be friendly as well.

dollazdrankanddank · 2019-07-11T20:11:14+00:00

Just be creepy it’s ok. Most dudes that pull a lot of chicks are called creepy. As a man you should never hesitate.

2019-07-11T20:15:31+00:00

By being man to woman

beastboi27 · 2019-07-11T22:41:03+00:00

I have alot of trouble escalating because of this..and I never end up getting anywhere

nagert · 2019-07-12T06:59:42+00:00

I need advice aswell, I'm (16m) and she is (16f) we work together and I've talked to her a little bit but want to get to know her. I honestly dont even want to fuck(surprisingly)

offinthewoods10 · 2019-07-13T01:32:11+00:00

I think you answered your own question.

Girls are attracted to him because he flirts with every girl he knows.

he flirts with every girl and he probably isn't even thinking about it, he is just out having a good time playfully bantering.

For me, and maybe even your friend, the best way to get into a good flow of fun flirty conversation is with my best friend, we just dick around and I end up being super flirty because i'm having a blast and not really caring how things turn out.

If a girl is creeped out it is most likely not what you said verbally, but what you sub-communicated ie. not being confident and non-needy.

2019-07-11T15:12:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2019-07-11T13:27:08+00:00

she knows

mfposgbcs · 2019-07-11T19:16:20+00:00

Just be a man and be direct. "Hey, I think you're sexy as hell". And then go from there But say it with confidence dont day it like a creep.

MLoggins311991 · 2019-07-11T12:37:51+00:00

It depends on your attractiveness level, a hot guy can say something flattering to a girl and she will like it but that same exact thing would be creepy if a guy did it. 1. Do not look at her in a sexual way, look at her as if she is your fat unattractive sister. 2. Inexperience, this leads to you “trying” shit too early. Every single decision you make is based on how she perceives it, so start with something light and neutral. If it just sits there and doesn’t do anything, drop the topic completely. 3 make appropriate advances, if you work together ask to get lunch together. You need to have the right timing for these things. 4 don’t invest in anything with her, have the mindset that she doesn’t like you and isn’t interested. This will shift you into a confidence mindset. If you think she already doesn’t like you then you can’t fuck up something that isn’t there.

Title	How do I convey interest casually without being creepy
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	176
Comments	74
Date	July 11, 2019 8:39 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/cbtb6i/how_do_i_convey_interest_casually_without_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-convey-interest-casually-without-being.1473479 https://theredarchive.com/post/1473479

Comments