How do I start approaching?

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-07-20T00:16:52+00:00

Do women like being cold approached at grocery stores, malls, and parks?

Some do some don’t. Depends on how you make them feel during the approach.

Is it considered creepy to go only for approaching women?

If you just go there stopping every woman that walks through the mall you will draw attention to yourself because yes hunting girls is creepy.

It’s creepy because it feels like you want to get something from someone and are looking for your next prey.

So you need to be doing something else and not just spending the evening approaching every girl.

And what do I say? Do I say "Hey I thought you were cute and wanted to get to know you"

Yes, that’s fine to start the conversation, then get to know what she does for a living, what hobbies she has, talk about yourself too when she asks you back, throw some jokes to get her laughing…

How do I date if I don't have much money?

Just go on a walk to some park and sit on a bench with her.

effort268 · 2022-07-20T05:05:57+00:00

I rarely post here but been follwing ever since i had a low point a few months ago. Anyways, just my 2 cents but i do think that there a huge self conscious issue going on in a lot of our heads. Granted, succesful seduction is not easy but i think its not easy because you have to build rapport. I guess what im trying to say is we are so caught up in our own head, we tend to over analyzeeverything that we often times forget that the one girl you saw that you really liked, well she shits and farts just like you do. lmao. Granted shes gorgeous but the less value you put in her the better, cause bro, shes just as human as anyone who may have the same sort of challenges that you faced.

so I’ve actually been doing some experiemwnts. I just been approaching people at the park while im biking. Usually its to comment on their cute dogs or something like that. But in general, i feel like the moment we get some rapport the better it is to drive a conversation in whichever way I want. As you escelate the conversation from hey cute dog -> you from around here? -> we should hangout, once you master that its quite natural.

Remember if ahe doesnt feel comfortable neither should you. So remember to connect as a human, try it with strangers of all ages and backgrounds. After doing a good 2-3 per week, bump it up and try to have meaningful coveraatiom w people to better connect. You’d be surprise how much better you can make someone feel, even in the most innocent ways.

How people response to that kind vibe, is all it takes to get the hint if she actually likes you. If she slightly blushing or really into the converaation, lightly escelate, see if she reciprocates, then ask for something and if you youre not succesful, just know that you lost nothing and instead gained experience and self worth. Good for you!

Let’s do it again, perhaps in a hobby of some sort or via friends of friends. Whatever the case is, don’t stop trying. You’ll see what the power of taking control (approaching a girl) feels like while also letting go of whats out of your control (her response). That deep realization will take off so much pressure from us all, in more ways than just dating.

P.S - pardon the typos, sucks tying on the phone. But on a side note, shout to all the kings and queens here looking to better themselves, you’ll get there.

burncushlikewood · 2022-07-20T01:00:35+00:00

Read some game books, do some approaches and keep a log, reflect on your interactions after. There is a great free book by my favorite Pua he teaches natural game, it's a book on female psychology https://www.academia.edu/26492146/Vin_DiCarlo_The_Attraction_Code_id610645886_size I basically studied female psychology in sexual relations for 4 years, I developed solid game basically having a bachelor's degree in pick up lol

Traditional-Fig9419 · 2022-07-20T01:40:06+00:00

Dude I’m in SLC! Let’s go out and I will help you going

throwaway_6196190012 · 2022-07-20T05:31:58+00:00

Dude spend your time not focusing on girls and better your situation. Work towards a better job with higher salary and get a damn car. Put in work to improve your life, you will have much better return of investment.

I wouldn't worry about taking girls out on dates and just worry about being friendly/social. When you go about your daily life, just try to make people laugh. When one of these people is a cute girl you can ask her out. I know you can do that when you have selling skills

Friendlypotato101 · 2022-07-20T03:08:19+00:00

Apparently you should do it whereever (minus a workplace like a barista I guess) and apparently a lot of girls like being approached (contrary to what reddit says).

Idk, I'm not an expert

Appropriate_CapBro · 2022-07-20T00:20:22+00:00

i just dm’d u

TempAcc64 · 2022-07-20T06:33:09+00:00

Walk over to them and press A.

2022-07-20T14:23:59+00:00

Door to door sales is (in my opinion) the toughest type of selling anyone can do. I say that with several summers of experience selling books door to door. The pushback you will receive from women is far less than that of a homeowner. Just approach women like you approach doors, CONFIDENTLY. Start with a simple “hello, my name is X” and go from there… It’s a number game, and you know it.

epimpstyle · 2022-07-20T14:24:10+00:00

In my native language, your opening sounds like hell....

Substantial_Smell_72 · 2022-07-20T16:29:23+00:00

I changed my life at 24. Pretty much had all my first at late in life and thought I could never change but it is never too late.

2022-07-20T04:13:18+00:00

Don't cold approach with "Hi." It's too forward.

Ronnyvar · 2022-07-20T05:54:52+00:00

Have a condom wrapper in your wallet, walk past a girl and let it fall out in front of her, then say:

“whoops, I dropped my monster condom that I use for my Magnum dong!”

She should immediately ask for your number.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-20T01:03:37+00:00

If you are not having success online it probably means you look and dress like shit. And you work 6 days a week and have no money and no car. Why would any woman want to fuck you? Are you that delusional?

cormacru999 · 2022-07-20T01:33:40+00:00

DO NOT "cold approach" women anywhere except a bar or club or place that organizes some form of dating event.

Join a dating site, or many dating sites & feel free to message any woman on the site. If they don't respond or don't want to go any further, leave them alone.

Men spend so much time & energy telling other men how to seduce, date, approach, etc women. Except that data shows (Time just put together a brand new article on this) are more single than ever & if you pay attention to what women share about their experiences, you see why. And that information, if you look for it, listen to it, read about it, learn it - will put you so far ahead of other men. Men capable of growth go far. Men convince that fake dating gurus tell you how to be a "high quality man" are making $ off of your inexperience, anxiety & fear.

Cold approaching is not your only option & all you will do is either scare women or be a creep. Women, every day, all day, are aware of the men around them because men are dangerous. They are fragile & angry when they feel uncomfortable. Then, instead of working on themselves, they talk to other men on Reddit, half of whom are making up their own stories of success or just repeating what they've heard, & then end up angry or depressed & lonely & end up blaming women for it.

fictitious-name · 2022-07-20T07:36:03+00:00

Ok two things. Lose that "do women think it's creepy if" attitude. It's self defeating. People don't like cold sale approaches but you seem to be good at it. Approaching women is essentially selling yourself in a less obvious and braggy way. You're showing you're value as a man and that you have the confidence to approach.

Having said that, there are certain places where women just flat out do not like being approached in an attempt to pick them up. From the little knowledge I have those places include their workplace where they basically have to be nice to all customers and so many men take that for flirting. Another is the gym. They're there to workout (usually) and if they're sweaty, not feeling too confident they may not like being approached.

I always say a place like a bar where it is assumed that people are there to meet potential partners is fair game. If you don't want to do a cold approach, wait til they go up the bar to get a drink and if you can stand far away enough but close enough to do that thing we're you let them catch you looking at them, you look away, then you look back and see if they're now looking at you. If so shoot them a smile and see how they respond. If they smile back I'd say it's a pretty good chance they're letting you know they wouldn't mind if you came over and introduced yourself/offered to buy a drink.

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-07-20T09:07:25+00:00

Ofc you need to have some empathy to understand girls but getting girls is not really about getting girls, it's your personality and your skill set so it's more about you and how you develop your personality and your skills. there's a saying that I make no apologies for my desires as a man. If it's needed tattoo it for yourself but if you see someone you want to approach, fucking do that. Especially if you have approach anxiety. From what to say perspective may be in the beginning it's better if you show your interest like I saw you're cute just wanted to say hi or something like this, it doesn't really matter how you open, it's more important how you continue. Your body language is also essential, intense eye contact, open body language, and your tonality all of those matter. If I go to talk to someone i usually just use dvh so demonstrate high value. what do I mean by that? if you have cool friends? if you have a nice lifestyle? if you have a good job? if you're educated? if you're good at some sport? if you tell stories about it she's gonna know that you're a cool enough guy and you're higher value than her so she's more likely to be interested. People usually date higher so girls wanna date someone whos cooler than her but not that much that she has to always worry that you gonna cheat on them. Also, one thing that I use all the time, is called mini cold read. if you look up to it you can practice that on your own but the basic idea is that you have to give her a reason to care about what you say. in the beginning, she doesn't know you enough to care about you but one thing that we all care about. Themselves. so if you make statements about her she cares about herself enough to pay attention to you and if you also showed that you're a cool enough guy you're already way more likely to get a number. Good luck

Local-Flounder-9918 · 2022-07-20T09:36:21+00:00

Yeah take tips from ppl but what I can say is add some danger to you're life , do crazy shit , so talking to a woman wouldn't look that risky/hard/awkward as before lol and being normal is the best way and only approach a girl if you think she's cute/pretty , don't approach women's to practice on them

CenturionLegio · 2022-07-20T14:33:28+00:00

the answer is your question

it really is that simple

FranciscotheBull · 2022-07-20T14:53:11+00:00

Definitely not the best schedule for time, but sometimes starting a conversation always helps. Can always start off with a compliment and see how their reactions are. If it is a smile and appreciate the compliment, you can start a conversation. I think it depends on how people respond as well as how you approach it. Online dating now seems to look like it is lopsided so I would use it as a tool, but not something to rely on in most instances. If you don't go out at all, then you'd have to rely more on online dating.

I don't know you fully as a person and all, but worn on yourself as well as approaching women. You will build more confidence and improve yourself.

Use your skills as well. You have no problem with being a salesperson so use that same concept and shift it towards approaching women. You can find a woman anywhere so just starting a conversation can get the ball rolling. One will feed off your energy and will find one you can get along with. Just depends on the quantity of opportunities.

Majestic_Meal_5655 · 2022-07-20T15:21:14+00:00

Bro become someone or be about something before approaching woman. If you are just chasing and have nothing going for yourself, this chick's can smell it.

lukewarmoatm3al · 2022-07-20T16:02:45+00:00

Go to church

Psychological_Low_90 · 2022-07-20T17:58:12+00:00

have balls thats all.

2022-07-20T18:07:10+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Ejmd4328 · 2022-07-20T18:07:17+00:00

You had me at basically a virgin lol. Anyways cold approach is way better then online and not many guys do it so many women will enjoy the convo. As long as you got the looks and confidence keep it short, ask her name her age, if she’s got a boyfriend and if she says anything like no or it’s complicated then you’re okay to move on I with her. Ask her what she’s doing in the area and if she’s got any plans for later on that day and then say something like “I gotta go now, but let me get your number (or instagram) and we’ll talk later.” Then leave. Sounds easier said then done but once you get the hang of it it gets fun. Also listen to what they say and answer off of that don’t go in with a set convo, and don’t cut her off unless you have to, let her enjoy talking to you. Smell good and look good really help with securing the number and then you’ll be onto phase 2.

Revolutionary_Fan733 · 2022-07-20T18:47:49+00:00

See a girl you like, approach and say hi. Done.

Title	How do I start approaching?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	70
Comments	63
Date	July 20, 2022 12:02 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w37lg3/how_do_i_start_approaching/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-start-approaching.1254059 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254059

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