How do you convey your abundance effectively?

recyclablebanthas · 2019-04-19T02:00:30+00:00

1

How do you convey your abundance effectively?

The trick of it is, you don't "convey" your abundance by trying to broadcast it. If you try to broadcast it or convey it, that shatters the image of abundance because if you really have it, you wouldn't have to try to show it. You would just be living it.

I'll elaborate more below.

2

I understand having abundance helps show value but how do you do this without looking trashy or like a fuck boy? Is it mainly in your attitude (independent of outcome)?

REAL abundance means you have options. Like you're not settling for any particular girl because you have no options. You're not begging for a girl. You have a social life and connections and so on.

You have this if you have done things in your life to build it. If you have it, you don't have to broadcast it. People will see it and/or figure it out on their own.

3

The reason i ask this is i'm wondering how to use this to my advantage if I want to move to something more serious with a girl.

This isn't something you can "use" because once you're deliberately trying to "use" it, it comes off desperate.

The fact of the matter is, if someone is interested, they'll notice you have abundance. If they aren't interested, they won't give two shits about whether you have it or not.

Want something "more serious" with a girl? You just spend time with her. Pay attention. Escalate comfortably while paying attention to her feedback. Feel out the situation. There are no tricks necessary; if you spend time with a girl and make moves, she'll either feel some kind of way about you, or she won't. That last part is out of your hands: the whole deal is that you put yourself out there as confidently as you can, and her reaction will show you if she's interested.

But you don't MAKE someone interested. Every person is like a mystery box. And gaming them is the process of interacting with them to find out what's in the box. Gaming does not affect what's in the box, it just gives you the chance to see inside and take the opportunity to possibly partake, if there's something going on in that box.

4

Obviously, i'd like to give the right impression while still maintaining my value. For example, would you openly admit to seeing other girls when you are moving towards something more serious. Should there be other girls on my social media/snapchat? Should I leave my ringer on when im on a date so they are aware people are hitting me up? I feel like I haven't been using abundance to my advantage.

Imagine a girl you might be on a date with. Now imagine what it does if she spends part of the date talking about other guys she's dating. What if it's clear from her social media that she's covered in men all the time and men are blatantly flirting with her there? What if her phone is constantly dinging from people hitting her up, while she's on a date?

This is someone showing that they are beholden to others to feel good about themselves. Anyone who comes off this way, and messages in this way, is sending the unintentional message that they are not reliable. That they spread their attention around and it's a high maintenance affair to keep their attention or favor. A never-ending battle. It's not abundance at all. It's closer to desperation and neediness.

Like or not, this screens out many or most serious prospects. No one who's got their shit together is going to take someone like this seriously as a a prospect for a serious relationship. And the additional unhelpful side effect here is that this tactic is like catnip for people with some serious baggage who can be plenty fun to hang with, but unstable and unhealthy at best for any serious relationship.

5

So how do you convey that you are high value/have abundance without coming off looking like you have lower standards, are trashy, or a fuck boy?

The tactics you described here, are not about showing abundance. They're unintentionally about fear. Trying to make someone afraid of losing the option of you. This tactic will work on someone with baggage who is driven to see a relationship as only having worth if it's difficult. But this connecting on the basis of the whole Thrill of the Hunt thing, not on the basis of who you are.

Which means, in the best case scenario, whatever "attraction," you find, it'll fade out once the Thrill of the Hunt fades.

6

The fact is, a lot of things "work" in seduction. It's just a matter of WHICH kind of person is attracted to that particular kind of bait. So you need to ask yourself what kind of results you want.

If you want a fling or something with a shelf life that implodes quickly and goes away immediately further down the line, then something including this sort of tactic, will attract that sort of interaction.

If you want something serious, then deliberately broadcasting the fact that you're playing the field, will screen out some of the best candidates.

Either option is valid, just realize that the bait for one, will often repel the other. Seriously minded people don't want to fuck around with casual daters, and casual daters will flee from seriously minded people.

(The exception here being that some people with baggage will try to "convert" people into being the thing they want, even if they want the opposite thing.)

getyourlifeplease · 2019-04-18T21:23:22+00:00

From an (F) standpoint...

would you openly admit to seeing other girls when you are moving towards something more serious.

If you are seeing other girls, then you arent moving towards anything "serious" really...right? But if you are just dating, it is true that showing your value does tend to make a girl want you more. We compete just as much as men do, and when a guy is 'wanted', we go into compete mode and want to win that guy over/from other girls.

Should there be other girls on my social media/snapchat?

Why not? I mean other girls are in your life, why hide that?! Plus again, we see that and if we are into you, it kinda sends us into compete mode.

Should I leave my ringer on when im on a date so they are aware people are hitting me up

No...that is just rude. But vibrate is just as effective - it makes a low key noise and shakes the table. Lol. We will notice it. But if you are getting TOO many rings/vibrates, that could also have the opposite effect you want...and make us less interested because it makes you look unavailable or like you have too much going on to be into us

if i like a girl ill stop posting stuff that implies being on a date with someone else, put my phone on silent when im with them, not talk about other people im seeing. I feel like ive missed chances due to this.

Nope...never stop being who you are just because you like someone! Liking her doesnt mean your whole life shuts down...so dont do that. If you have been upfront with each girl you date that you are seeing others, then again, no reason to hide your active life! Be proud of that and post it. If you have had amazing experiences, with girl friends (not a girlfriend) you should share that...it lets us know you are active and you are in demand. I know guys that are dsting around and will post 2 meals, locations, or a pic of themselves somewhere (so obviously somekne else took it) - but not a girl or her face. It is obvious they are out WITH someone...and that subtle stuff really says a lot.

protespius · 2019-04-18T21:04:11+00:00

Personally, I post what I want to post on social media. Sometimes it’s with a hot girl I’ve been dating, or sometimes it’s just a hot friend that I’m hanging out with. The other girls can interpret it as they want. More often than not, it’s a hot friend.

If a new date/girl sees this and asks, I’m always truthful, but I make sure to go about it in a non-douchey way. For example, I would say yeah I’m kind of just dating casually and having fun at the moment but if the right person who I’m super compatible with comes along I’m not afraid to make it serious and exclusive.

Also, I always (unless I have some urgent work issue) keep my phone on silent on a date out of respect. And I expect the girl to do the same, or it’s probably not a good fit. My time is valuable, and likewise I respect your time and presence.

With all this being said, new girls are usually inquisitive about my life on social media, so seemingly it works in my favor. For example, I cooked for a very attractive girl last week and she posted it on insta and I shared it. Then within a couple of hours two newer girls messaged me something along the lines of “why don’t you cook for me?”

teddyboi69 · 2019-04-18T20:47:13+00:00

I feel like this topic isn’t covered enough

Questions2pm · 2019-04-19T00:01:00+00:00

Keep in mind I'm a gay guy, but all my friends are women, I date guys that date girls, and we are the ultimate players, so I gotchu.

If you are wanting something serious you generally wouldn't want to come across as someone that's casually dating, as you may get written off as a player by a serious minded girl. So be careful if this stuff doesn't come naturally to you, or if you aren't skilled at this.

If you are only interested in casually dating or have just met somebody, it can be an advantage to seem like you are seeing other people - it makes you seem desireable and exciting. But you don't want to seem rude - example, constantly checking your phone is definitely something that would make me think you are seeing other people, but it would also be something that would make me never want to go on a date with you again. Consider leaving it on vibrate so your date can hear people are reaching out to you - this will also make you seem a bit mysterious (who is that?!).

Also - girls will get crazy jealous if you use snapchat to send pictures with friends - even if the girls you're snapping are just friends. A new date doesn't know that! This is something that drives girls up the fucking wall. If you are skillful with this it does make you seem more attractive and your attention to feel more valuable.

Another thing you could do if you're both firmly casual or non-committed, is briefly talk about being excited for another date with someone else. Don't fuck this up. If you do this right it lights a fire under the other person that they gotta get a move on you. This is what my current boyfriend did to me. It was pretty masterful and pushed me out of the "I want to take things slow forever" phase of dating. Fucking jerk.

Another tip - be careful not to make your whole life seem it's all about the person you're dating. Go out with friends, family. If you have hobbies enjoy them. Be mindful that you are not spending everyday with someone you're dating and don't be constantly messaging them. This is useful for casual or serious dating - you need to give people time to miss you, seem like you have your own life, and you want your presence to be a gift.

From my perspective with this you're aiming for here is actually two separate things.

To be confident without being a douchebag
To convey that you are your own person and have other options

douchabag_dan · 2019-04-18T23:40:15+00:00

You communicate abundance by not being needy. Human beings, subconsciously at least, pick up on things you do without thinking about them. The way you would naturally act when you have abundant options will communicate abundance. The only time you need to think about how to communicate abundance is when you are not in an abundant situation and need to fake it until you make it.

shakinjakke · 2019-04-18T21:22:09+00:00

It comes out mostly in your attitude. They don’t need to see any concrete evidence that you can or are getting other girls. Just being in a place where you genuinely don’t need one specific girl will convey that you have abundance. Being nonchalant is a good way to think about it practically.

eliotzzz · 2019-04-18T20:32:52+00:00

Interested in an answer to this too

jakeinmn · 2019-04-19T01:27:01+00:00

They see it naturally. If you tell them you have options, you've lost.

If they ask, just be honest and add logic and empathy. "Yeah, like you I am dating casually. Haven't found someone yet worth it, but that could change soon. "

Goldenpanda18 · 2019-04-18T21:01:20+00:00

There’s a few YouTube channels you need

Alpha male strategy’s

Todd v dating

ImJustSo · 2019-04-19T18:33:57+00:00

Boundaries, beliefs, and expectations. Not exactly in those orders, but I think that's how I convey my abundance. I don't shy away from setting boundaries or expectations and it lets women know that I'm willing to lose them over my personal beliefs about how I want to be treated.

I believe that I'm attractive and I believe that I'm worth sharing life and I believe I have good life to share. I think of negative thoughts as beneath me, so I let women know that petty thoughts aren't entertained. Since I expect myself to be that way, I expect to be treated that way, too. So if they get shitty about another woman and they act jealous, that's fine, as long as they don't lash out at me or another woman. I make it clear that's unacceptable. Fighting is unnecessary, but so is being miserable, so leave me if you need to and no hard feelings.

I'm willing to keep anyone in my life and I'm willing to let anyone go. I make my own decisions and they are free to do the same. I try to treat everyone fairly, just as fair as myself. I try to love them all fairly, just as I try to love myself.

Most women don't actually care that you're with another woman, they just can't trust you to not hurt them when another woman is involved. If you show women that you are completely open, hiding nothing, and they can see other women that you're with that aren't being hurt by you....well, you can get a pass. You're safe. You're free love without strings and you're easy to love.

Women just don't want betrayal, but honestly....it seems like everything else is okay to do as long as you can do it without the betrayal part.

ColdCaulkCraig · 2019-04-18T21:57:41+00:00

It's not something you convey but is there to mitigate your anxiety which naturally makes you more relaxed hence attractive. You're not getting oneitis if you have abundance. That's the idea. Abundance is not just other women, it's your activities and hobbies too. You don't need one specific girl because your life is awesome; if they don't want to be part of it, that's their problem.

ihopemyfriendslikeme · 2019-04-19T01:59:16+00:00

Personally, I feel like abundance is all reflected in your mind set and isn’t something that actively has to be proven. The point of abundance isn’t to flaunt it over potential partners to make them more interested, it’s to become a more confident individual that will naturally attract others. If you have an abundance mentality you won’t budge on your morales or what makes you, you. Many guys without abundance mentality will bend over backward to impress women. They’ll go overboard, be hesitant to disagree, etc... this type of behavior is very needy and turns people off.

Your abundance mentality will naturally reflect because if you truly truly have abundance mentality you won’t over invest in a girl, you’ll put yourself first in every situation. This will attract people because she’ll see your confidence and perceive you as someone as value.

TLDR: abundance is a mentality and will display itself if you truly believe in it.

Dilpil01 · 2019-04-19T03:38:48+00:00

you don't convey abundance, you just have it, it will convey itself if you have it. Trying to convey it intentionally is try hard and looks desperate, they will know what you're doing.

loveopenly · 2019-04-19T08:40:55+00:00

Abundance = love

I.e. the more you express love to people the more they express it back. Feeling that love is synonymous with feeling abundant. Some might say this is the opposite of abundance, because it relies on other people, but that's exactly why it works so well. It's only when you love others expecting it to return somehow that you create scarcity. Expressing it is an altruistic act, but it also a selfish one because it feels damn good. If you don't feel abundant it's because you haven't committed to expressing your genuine authentic love for others yet. It means that there is something holding you back. Fear is the usual culprit.

hunterpua · 2019-04-19T08:44:31+00:00

You bring it with you.

That means when you go to a party you go to a party with a bunch of girls.

More girls than guys.

Your group has to have at least a 2:1 ratio of girls to guys.

If don't have the ability to do that then you don't have abundance yet.

ISaidThatOnPurpose · 2019-04-20T01:19:32+00:00

You vocally pretend like you're sarcastically complaining about getting too much.

Like this...

Not getting any but Bragging about abundance is level 1

Not getting any but Sarcastically bragging about not getting any is level 2

Getting a lot and bragging about getting a lot is level 3

Getting a lot and sarcastically acting like someone who is sarcastically acting like someone who is getting a lot is the final level.

So like, a roll of the eyes and saying "all of this vagina I'm swimming in" is like 2 levels of sarcasm. It's the bees knees

wolfbee16 · 2019-04-24T03:48:39+00:00

I show rather than tell. If I have a girl I’m interested in at the bar I make sure she sees me flirting with other girls and having fun. Shows her I don’t NEED her. Don’t make it too obvious but it shows her you can pull other girls

Shadowfury957 · 2019-04-18T22:27:12+00:00

Real abundance doesn't need to be conveyed

Title	How do you convey your abundance effectively?
Author	JazzlikeGold
Upvotes	143
Comments	40
Date	April 18, 2019 8:15 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/beq6nc/how_do_you_convey_your_abundance_effectively/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-convey-your-abundance-effectively.1466800 https://theredarchive.com/post/1466800

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