How do you get over just feeling super awkward if you go out by yourself? Especially if you don't have friends and aren't super talkative?

Boosteddreamer · 2024-06-03T01:28:14+00:00

Short answer, no it’s not a personality trait you’re stuck with.

For me it’s just reps, I used to be the same way but after talking to a ton of strangers you’ll realize no one cares. Some people want to talk, others don’t but I’ve yet to have any bad interactions with someone. Once you realize you’re the only one making a big deal out of the interaction it becomes a lot easier.

If I can go out, have a couple decent interactions with people to start the night, and get myself in the mood to socialize things flow pretty easily from there. Alcohol definitely helps but the biggest thing is just getting over the initial awkwardness, realizing now one actually cares, and if they do you’ll probably never see them again anyways.

SpankingShaman · 2024-06-03T11:56:07+00:00

Stuff that have worked for me.

To start, don't care about the weight loss. Get good habits instead. Eating more healty food and you automatically eat less bad food. Don't need to skip the bad stuff in the beginning. Just add more of the healty.

Start doing some exercise. Get a habit of taking a walk for 5 minutes everyday. Let it increase to 10 minutes, and all of the sudden you are running or something else.

Download the book "Atomic Habit" and "The like switch" to your phone. Or research for books that are more "you". Then go to cafés or bars and place yourself at the bar or somewhere people pass by. Start reading and observe the people around you from time to time. You are not there initially to talk to people, you are there to read and just show up. So it won't be that awkward after awhile.

And all of sudden you will be talking to people anyway. They will get curious about what you read and stuff.

Chicagoj1563 · 2024-06-03T01:59:14+00:00

Going out to a bar and talking to people is a social skill. It’s something you can learn. It can be your starting point. But, your mindset may hold you back.

You need to get into a positive headspace and learn how to enjoy the process. If you’re judging yourself after every interaction, it probably won’t go well. You have to make it fun. You can’t take anything personally and learn to handle social pressure.

Also, losing weight isn’t going to take the rest of your life. Most people will get to a good place in 6 - 18 months. A little longer if you have a lot to lose. But, you will be looking better every few weeks.

epimpstyle · 2024-06-03T13:57:24+00:00

For motivation to lose weight - www.healthywage.com - Basically, you bet money that you will lose weight in 2-3 months and you win cash. They help you with a personalized diet + physical exercises to lose weight. Of course, it will take some time to lose weight, but this way you will be motivated to stick to the diet. You can join a group of people and it will be easier because you encourage each other.
You're a "lone wolf" - it's a disadvantage, but luckily we don't live in the wild, but to cold approach women you need to change your mindset, everything starts with your mentality. It is like jumping into the water, if you hesitate the water will not get warmer, but actually you spend a few seconds before jumping to mentally prepare yourself for cold water and it is easier to accept it. In the same way, spend a few minutes visualizing yourself going out alone on the street and cold approaching a woman - this is a kind of meditation, you visualize cold approaching women and later when you are in the city all you have to do is repeating what you have already visualized yourself doing.

I find it pretty difficult to cold approach women in a bar if you are alone (because the women have many options, to choose from and entering in a talkative mode is difficult) better on the street or at a bus stop because in such places you have a short time to talk to them but at least you get used talking to women (when you run out of things to say, they will have to leave, it will not be awkward).

AllMyPillsRojo · 2024-06-03T16:29:39+00:00

So, here’s the deal.

If you’re going out with the intention of talking to strangers and forcing yourself to talk to people, you will always be an awkward/anxious mess because that sounds horrible!

You have to tell yourself, for example “Oh I’d love to go to this bar, because I love their food and I am hungry.”

Is there anything wrong with a guy going out to grab something to eat? No.

You’ll be there, you won’t be as nervous.

Then, either someone will chat you up occasionally OR you can strike up a conversation with somebody (if you want).

GoGetter0130 · 2024-06-03T03:24:34+00:00

There's a website called meetup.com which is good. All kinds of activities. Also bumble has a friend feature. Guys have reached out to me on there but I just never tried it.

Trey2022 · 2024-06-03T14:53:57+00:00

Are you into basketball? Now would be a great time to go sit at the bar and talk to people. If nothing else, just go watch the game and hang out. However, also be aware that drinking is going to directly conflict with your weight loss. They can coexist but it’s also very easy to drink your calories. If that’s important to you, I’d advise you to be very mindful of that and keep your other meals very light to make up for it. One more thing. I have no idea what your body composition is, but it doesn’t have to take the rest of your life to lose the weight. Work hard not only on the exercise and diet, but also to educate yourself. You will make mistakes and don’t beat yourself up too much when it happens. Best of luck my friend. You got this!

Vibez__ · 2024-06-03T12:23:12+00:00

Get a cold approach coach, that will really help. Look for wings online as well, also really helps. For me, solo game is only possible if I've been consistently approaching whilst out with wings.

grate314 · 2024-06-03T13:41:59+00:00

I'm pretty Aspy, so take this with a grain of salt.

When I first started sarging solo, I would feel so uncomfortable. I would usually find someone who was also alone, but seemed relaxed. I would then simply find a spot and ape their body language. Fake it til you make it, homie.

jjboy91 · 2024-06-03T08:32:55+00:00

People don't care, they are in their bubble with their friends and that's all. I've been going out alone for a year now and it definitely takes a few try but once you get used to it it's so much fun! No one to wait for, no planning to do, you can't do whatever you want.

Fantastic-Life-2024 · 2024-06-03T10:42:19+00:00

Losing weight will be the single most best thing you can do. to improve all aspects of your life.

It is also going to take a while. Like, quite possibly the rest of my life.

i used to think that but its not true. I reduced my weight by 30 kg in 18 months with very little effort.

You choose to be social or not.
i am an introvert I am very successful socially. In fact people think I am very outgoing.

You are the one who is the captain of your ship in your life.
Take personal responsibility.

DaygameCode · 2024-06-03T18:49:19+00:00

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Diligent-Grocery5701 · 2024-06-03T01:24:35+00:00

Join some clubs or take some classes! You got any hobbies?

FriendlyFun9858 · 2024-06-03T04:31:16+00:00

If I was you I would change my narrative about the weight. Yes, it can be corrected, millions have done it. Once you look good on the outside (to yourself) you will feel good on thr inside, people will respond to this, which will make you feel gold and the cycle perpetuates. Hire a fitness trainer Ask your doctor for a referal to a nutritionist counselor and become increasingly cognizant of what you eat.

BaabyBear · 2024-06-03T09:13:15+00:00

give yourself a few good habits. these will make you feel good about yourself. yes your goal weight might be a little bit far away, but the confidence boost you'll get for putting in the work will kick in after a week or two of sticking with it. Don't be afraid to give yourself a little credit too. self talk works both ways, we can build ourselves up or tear ourselves down. Sounds like you could use some practice building yourself up, but at the same time you need to develop some evidence that you believe in (such as working towards your goal weight).

Start writing a list of things you want/need to get done. It helps immensely. keep up with it and try to tackle the list every day, and if something doesnt get done, write the list again for the next day. Do this every day. And do it for everything, from working out, to doing laundry, to going to the bank. It really helps to declutter our minds.

Don't make meeting people a goal, it's too much pressure and really gets in the way with connecting with people. What you can do is make it a goal to be extra nice to people you already encounter regularly. people like clerks or neighbors or whoever. Doesn't have to be someone you met before, but just people around you. Make it a goal to be more friendly and interested. Then, when you do that, be proud of yourself for working towards your goals, rather than be upset that you couldn't turn it into a full blown friendship.

Kakatheman · 2024-06-03T04:15:53+00:00

Idk what to tell you around the same age and I went out to party by myself last night and had the same mindset.

Ended up making lots of new friends and reconnecting with old ones and even got a girls number.

You just have to put yourself out there.

TRTGymBro1 · 2024-06-03T02:16:44+00:00

I don’t know man. Right off the bat you are finding excuses. I don’t think you are motivated at all.

Title	How do you get over just feeling super awkward if you go out by yourself? Especially if you don't have friends and aren't super talkative?
Author	Jcorb
Upvotes	44
Comments	22
Date	June 3, 2024 12:59 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1d6sayt/how_do_you_get_over_just_feeling_super_awkward_if/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-get-over-just-feeling-super-awkward-if.1520386 https://theredarchive.com/post/1520386

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