I keep getting AA

JosephfromAandA · 2022-09-08T16:57:05+00:00

Consistency. Approach anxiety never fully goes away, you just learn to handle it better. It sounds like you might have a small pause approaching when you are getting leads/dates. The longer you stop approaching, the harder it will become again. And then the cycle repeats.

Johnny Joseph from Abundance & Aphrodisiacs

Icy_Rub1839 · 2022-09-08T16:23:45+00:00

You're doing better than me, I haven't approached a woman in eight years.

If you've gotten results in the past you should be able to get results again. Nothing stopping you from repeating your past success.

Nullroute127 · 2022-09-08T18:16:55+00:00

Approaching is a diminishing skill. It's supposed to work like that to an extent.

However, I think what you'll see, if you analyze carefully, is that the 'floor' is a lot higher than where it was before that very first cold approach with approach anxiety, and it takes you fewer and fewer approaches to get into the swing of things, and your peaks are higher.

As a cheesy analogy, you're climbing a staircase in a high rise building. Every single set of stairs at each floor looks the same, but, you're actually higher than floor 0. You can only see the staircase you're on though. Getting reset looks like the first step, but only because you're not looking from the outside in.

desal · 2022-09-08T17:54:29+00:00

the lay guide has useful advice (Google layguide pdf you can find it free online) for this. basically don't give yourself time to second guess the approach. approach within 3s of seeing them.

epimpstyle · 2022-09-08T22:06:04+00:00

Having AA is normal, it means that you are a human being.

In reality, AA is only in your head because if someone is watching you from a distance, it will look like you know the girl otherwise it is difficult to understand how you can go that easily and talk to a girl from the street.

I said many times on reddit that it is very easy to ask someone on the street "Excuse me, do you know where is an ATM" - you don't need any preparation to do this and for start (opener) is perfect. A bit later you will select the ATM to be in the same direction as the girl is walking, this is another chapter, because in this moment you can talk to that girl for a few minutes and theoretically at this moment, the level of AA is at minimum.

Zen_91 · 2022-09-08T23:00:02+00:00

This is my take. Cold approaching is not natural. It takes you out of a state of homeostasis. We naturally want to stay in a state of homeostasis to preserve energy and to avoid an engrained perception of risk.

To get out of that, there is only one solution. Action. You need to show your brain that the reward is worth the risk. The only thing that has worked for me is progressive desensitization. I start by just being more social and chatting with strangers. I will also try to make eye contact with women and smile as I pass by. I then give strangers (guys and girls) compliments, but the trick here is to be genuine with your compliments. Of course, in some cultures it’s more appropriate to compliment members of the same sex than others.

After I have warmed up, I do actual approaches. The trick is with the first 5 is to let go of the results. They’re just about getting into state. The results don’t matter. Of course, if a woman’s eyes light up and she responds positively, stay in the set. But that’s not the objective. Then, I will do persistence approaches, with the goal being either an instadate or number close.

Awkward_Management28 · 2022-09-08T23:43:51+00:00

U must be a chad if cold aproach works

Efficient_Style1 · 2022-09-09T00:03:22+00:00

Woman hate and dispise 80% of the men they meet and only like the top 10 percent

Crunch-Potato · 2022-09-08T16:03:04+00:00

Well you got to talk about what happens around this block.

Is it a particular situation?
Are there specific emotions coming up?

zapadz · 2022-09-08T21:52:59+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJKiFisdi5g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCeDPkUB98c

user009818 · 2022-09-08T23:37:54+00:00

It goes away over time, then you have to start again and be rusty and then it goes on and on.. that's why I speak to everybody rather than just females or people I'm tryna link with

SpiritDetective13 · 2022-09-08T23:46:12+00:00

This actually happening to me right now. Last summer I got pretty comfortable approaching women, but I haven't done it consistently since then. Now it's the beginning of the semester and I'm struggling all over again

redditdave · 2022-09-09T00:00:59+00:00

What is AA?

DrewDaMannn · 2022-09-09T00:32:10+00:00

21 and I’ve never approached once in my life :( I live in a small town and have a fucked hair line, idk where to start

warbloggled · 2022-09-09T01:15:26+00:00

Perhaps your issue with it is you’re focusing too much on the end game. Your one little step towards the girl is carrying ALL this weight of expectations and emotional rollercoasters, that’s why it feels overwhelming to you.

You have to let all that go for a second and consider the small things first, is this girl cute? Is she interesting to talk to? Are you interesting to talk to? What conversations could you possibly have with a stranger?

For a moment, forget about your the sex, previous experiences, expectations, forget the end game.

Focus on the now. It’s a beautiful day, you’re out to meet a new friend(s), learn something, teach something.

Girls, men we all want to have a good time, have a laugh, share a laugh with them. Tell a bad joke, tell a good joke, ask for one. Ask for food suggestions, music suggestions.

You don’t climb a ladder by only looking at the last rung.

When you feel the block, then stop and take a moment to break it all down into baby steps.

flagstaffvwguy · 2022-09-09T03:10:09+00:00

Approach everyday, or at least 3 days per week

Ysfysfd · 2022-09-09T06:47:24+00:00

Two words Rejection therapy, google it. I stretched this method and helped become an absolute approach beast. Also won't hurt to get a job that forces you to interact with people daily. How hard you preceive the approach to be is all up to the narrative you have in your mind

Mr_Throwaway2834 · 2022-09-09T07:15:19+00:00

Just remain calm and collected, don't ever freak out lol

Title	I keep getting AA
Author	Bakerz420_
Upvotes	44
Comments	75
Date	September 8, 2022 3:34 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/x93l1x/i_keep_getting_aa/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-keep-getting-aa.1250366 https://theredarchive.com/post/1250366

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