I really hate being a single virgin and its been eating me up, what should I do?

magezudo · 2017-08-29T11:02:49+00:00

Sad story, bro.

Go out. Approach. If you really suck, you can do a pua bootcamp.

There is nothing special about your story. And that "i see couples and feel envy" is the biggest bs ever. In this world, there is people that are fucked up beyond imagination, you can't complain about "I see couples and I cry"

I was a fucking virgin too. I went out for six months till I fucked a freaking gorgeous girl! I felt like I was in love with her. She was so pretty ! But she never talked to me again. So... I went out more, and now I feel much better. I have 1 regular girl that I fuck once or twice a week. And I'm looking forward to become better at sex, having different girls and making myself better everyday.

Things that may help you: Gym; Running; eating healthy; meditation; socializing with friends/ meeting new people; doing different social stuff/new classes/going out with our without friends; approaching...

Good luck, man! Hard work. Smart work. You will be fine!

_troubled_ · 2017-08-29T11:28:14+00:00

I'm not here to insult you. You're approaching life the same way a five year old would though. You're stuck in a childlike paradigm. You're whining about something someone else has that you don't. Do you really think that's what women want in a man? Even if you aren't showing people these emotions directly, they're conveyed beyond belief through the subconscious, beyond your control. You're not in control, and you should be to be mentally healthy. This is why meditation exists.

Life doesn't get better on its own. It really doesn't. I wouldn't even bother approaching or worrying about other people until you figure yourself out. We are the way we are in the present because of the past. The way we attach, our emotional responses, our coping mechanisms, etc. All of these things are figured out early on in life, but we make the mistake (again subconsciously) of using these same mechanisms for problems that they don't provide solutions for anymore. They're 'outdated' so to speak.

You have to be young and if you aren't I apologize, but it's absolutely hilarious that you think you waited for love to find you. What's the rush? Why so impatient? Are your friends getting laid and you're jealous? There's no need to rush losing your virginity, especially because of societal pressure. Don't make decisions based on emotional responses.

cosmic7dust · 2017-08-29T16:44:50+00:00

What's your age? I am 27 years old, single virgin. There was a time when I was like you. I went on a date with 4 different girls, nothing happened, I was also depressed. Then I realized my mistakes. Let me tell you one thing, girls are not everything in life. I am still the single virgin but now I don't care. For me my career, my life goals are more important than anyone.

Try to read your own post as a third person, how depressing and the unconfident person you sound. Now tell me which girl will like to date such person. Instead, she will go with the confident, charismatic, enthusiastic person full of life.

Don't chase the girls. Chase your dreams. You may think who the hell I am, but I'd like to say I was like this few months ago. So I can totally understand the scenario.

Chase your dreams, everything will fall for you when it's a perfect time. You're not ready yet.

So calm the fck down and stop crying like a small btch.

You are having lack of confidence. Stop watching porn and jacking off to it. Search 'NoFap' on reddit and join.

You have the strength to move the mountains, so stop crying.

hamstercide · 2017-08-29T15:37:56+00:00

You talk too much about love. Just remember in today's world sex is a prerequisite for love, and not the other way around. Falling in love with a girl before you plow her will only turn her off. Instead do the opposite, bang a girl often enough and let her fall for you.

skepticscorner · 2017-08-29T13:31:23+00:00

While studying my degree in communication, I took an interpersonal relationships class. One of the biggest pieces of advice from the professor: "If you're not ok with yourself, you have no business being in a relationship."

Go find a hobby. Pick a skill, cooking, running, martial arts, d&d, woodworking. It doesn't fucking matter. That thing you've always wanted to do, if you just had the balls. Find a local club that does it. Go and do it.

The club part is important. As you master your craft, you'll bump shoulders with people who also master that craft. You'll earn the respect of your peers, and have practice discussing something you're interested in with them. You'll learn to respect yourself. You'll learn confidence.

You might find someone to love within that craft's community, you might not. But what you will have done is become your own person. Your desire to find love and cash your v card comes from an inner sense of inadequacy. Getting laid isn't going to fix that. Becoming good at something will.

You have no business being in a relationship until you are ok with yourself. Hop to it.

beernsleep · 2017-08-29T18:36:50+00:00

The best advice I can give is to find hobbies where girls are around - you are much more likely to meet a gf at an event you both enjoy than just out at the bars or at the grocery store. If you like sports, join a coed kickball league. If you like comic books, go to comicon. Etc. etc. You'll be fine dude, you need to get your confidence up, speak to more women, and love yourself. All the other advice is great too. Keep your head up.

LucasBR96 · 2017-08-29T20:17:13+00:00

It's all about mindset man.

You shouldn't think that sex, dating, etc is a life goal, or a fulfilling purpose. It is just a way of having fun, like watching football or playing video games. Just way to entertain yourself, and you should not worry about fun.

I know its hard to " don't think about it ", but it is not impossible. Don't try to erase these thoughts that worry you, but try to overwrite them with something new: find some new hobbies, invest in your carrear, strengthen your friendships, tale care of your body, this will keep your thoughts at bay and boost your confidence

One final note: women have a 6th sense and they know when a guy is desperate for pussy. This will be bad for you.

thetahill · 2017-08-29T23:03:13+00:00

You say you've been "approaching more" recently, and that you're "not the most interesting person to talk to," so...start by fixing those things.

I'm not here to berate or judge, because God knows we've all been there at various points, but here is what I see out of a lot of guys...

If they want to get through a video game, they'll spend 5 hours a day thinking about it and doing it, maybe more. They'll look up everything they can on the game, including strategy, etc. They'll get with their buddies nightly to make it happen.

But...when it comes to dating, it's "I approached a little bit, read an article or two, and tried to make some conversation and I'm all out of ideas!!" Often it's followed by mentioning how much attractive guys are douches and women are horrible creatures. I'm not saying this is you, but I see it so much where guys won't put actual real effort into this like they do other things.

Get to the gym. Lift. Run. Eat better. Learn game. Read about charisma. Watch videos of good approaches. Learn how to flirt. Learn how to tease. Practice all of this daily, and practice some more. And then practice it some more. Next time you want to watch Netflix, visit this sub and apply something you learned. Next time you want to spend three hours buried in a fantasy novel, spend that time realizing your goals in the real world.

DrBalance · 2017-08-30T12:34:39+00:00

Approaching is a start, you're above what a lot of guys will ever do.

But don't look for love. You can't love someone without knowing them for months. So what you want to do is connect with people. Share yourself.

I recommend reading Models by Mark Manson. It's on Kindle, or you can probably pirate it if you really have to if you're poor. It gets you in the mindset of what you need to become.

Get to lifting. I have been doing an intensive weights program (I can link it if you want) which is 5 days a week, 1-2 muscle areas per workout. I am gorging down the food and gaining size like a mofo. One of my colleagues already commented on how big I am. I can also feel the testosterone changes. I'm popping boners like I'm a teenager again, and my voice is much deeper. And this is just after a few weeks.

You need hobbies, taekwondo sounds good, but maybe find something creative as well if you can. If there is something like music you can pour your passion into, it really helps when you have that sort of thing to talk about with a girl.

Also I'd recommend yoga. Not only is it mostly babes who do it that you can talk to before/after class, but it will sort your mind out. I used to be an anxiety ridden wreck until I discovered it. First session - a lifetime of weight was lifted off my body and mind. I suddenly realised how I'm supposed to feel, which was not the corner my brain had put itself in of pity and loathing and endless thoughts cycling around repeatedly. People might think it's just for rich white women who sip latte's, but it really did change my life.

Hector_Castillo · 2017-08-29T11:46:53+00:00

Details, man. Give us examples of these approaches. Chances are you're doing something simple wrong and with a simple fix, you will get pussy.

vagabond9 · 2017-08-29T12:53:59+00:00

Lower your demands. If you're looking for 8-10/10 girls which is a challenging market, you're being less sucessful. If it's about making experience and getting something you might start dating fat chicks.

MichaelBravo · 2017-08-29T13:46:29+00:00

You say you never kissed anyone. Then you say you've fallen in love a bunch of times and it went badly.

I think that's an indication of a larger problem. If you're in love with a chick before you've even kissed her, she'd going to take that as desperation.

I fall in love super easy, so I get it, but I usually wait until I've fucked her at least once.

NTSpike · 2017-08-29T16:16:35+00:00

Your post is very indicative of why you're getting no results.

Unfortunately it's a cycle, and it's difficult as hell to get out of it. The hungry don't get fed. The more you allow yourself to feel bad, the worse it's going to get. People are repulsed by negativity.

You say getting laid "isn't happening to you." Getting laid isn't something that "happens to you," it's an experience you share with somebody. Nobody is going to give you love and affection, it's something you offer somebody as a gift and they give it back to you.

Shift your focus away from GETTING love and instead focus on generating some satisfaction/progress/confidence in your own self and life, and becoming somebody someone else would want to be with. Can you tell me exactly why somebody should want to be with you? Do you truly believe somebody would be better off with you in their life?

If you don't you need to change that.

PM_Me_OK · 2017-08-29T13:44:41+00:00

Go on the website or download the app Meetme and make an account. It's easy to find girls on there close by to talk to and hang out with. Also do the same with apps/websites Plenty of Fish and Okcupid.

MagicStar77 · 2017-08-29T18:25:14+00:00

Hang out with friends-especially if they're always around/good with women. You will learn so much. Especially those with gfs. Don't be afraid to ask them anything. That's how it was done way before.

SyrusDrake · 2017-08-29T22:18:02+00:00

Almost a year ago, a crush ended badly for me. I'm still a kissless, single virgin, of course, but it's not eating me up quite as much anymore. The solution that helped me consists of meds, bi-weekly therapy with an actual psychiatrist and daily meditation. I think especially that latter bit might help you a lot because it makes a it a whole lot easier to acknowledge, accept and control your thoughts, including the negative ones.

AR-47 · 2017-08-29T23:44:53+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, I was in the same situation as you and getting laid didn't make much of a difference. I still have really modest success with women and still constantly long for any form of companionship, whether it's a one-night stand or a serious deal.

Fuck I worried less about sex when I was a 21-year-old virgin than I do now.

ForeignInUsA · 2017-08-30T06:25:02+00:00

Don't freak out. I was a virgin until 22 and found some wings from the rsd inner circle and lost it in a month. It happened the moment I stopped carrying, I wasn't thinking myself as a virgin but a cool dude who girls liked, I was hooking chicks left and right.

You don't want anyone to love you, you just want to be with someone so you can love yourself. Go out do game, find out what you don't like about yourself, very important is to find like minded people. You will get laid eventually, trust me.

I still get jealous of naturals and dudes that had an abundant sex life since they were 15 but hey I love me now.

Booster93 · 2017-08-29T11:42:40+00:00

Ppl need to stop posting on here without telling us their Age, height, race, work, social life/past. You have got to give us something to work with.

ben7amin · 2017-08-29T12:10:20+00:00

Get female friends, they will set you up with someone!

Title	I really hate being a single virgin and its been eating me up, what should I do?
Author	junyarush
Upvotes	63
Comments	84
Date	August 29, 2017 7:53 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6wprmo/i_really_hate_being_a_single_virgin_and_its_been/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-really-hate-being-a-single-virgin-and-its-been.1432796 https://theredarchive.com/post/1432796

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