I'm so done with cold approches

becomesharp · 2026-07-20T10:35:40+00:00

Cold approach is bad if you want quick or easy results. But it's great for developing the social skills/game, courage, and confidence that benefit you long term. Also good for being able to date out of your league.

Online dating is bad if you're not physically attractive, tall, or both, or willing to put in a lot of work for somewhat mediocre results. Also bad if you want to date women more attractive than you. But it's (relatively) great if youre good looking but also shy, timid, or otherwise struggle to talk to women in public.

confused_8357 · 2026-07-20T12:07:25+00:00

Honestly cold approaches on the street changed my life.

It taught me to be chill about rejections, ghosting and rude behavior

It helped me idenitify whos being polite and who is more likely to come on date

The results are still more than apps would give me

Even if i am in a rush and i get few minutes and the right girl comes around..my approach anxiety is almost 0.

My texting is also just to setup the date

I get like 2 dates per month and i barely spend anything..i just take them to the nearest garden and sit and i repeat that until i wanna start investing in her financially

This is after nearly 300 approaches.

haftzabaa · 2026-07-20T11:26:06+00:00

Yes, cold approach is the most time-consuming, effortful and emotionally difficult form of dating in many ways.

It can get easier and more fun over time, but you have to get past a certain threshold of volume and experience to experience this. If you're not doing sessions where you do 10+ interactions (and that includes warmups when you're starting out, not just "real" approaches, the point is to develop the skill) you're unlikely to pass this threshold.

So yes it's entirely possible that it's bad ROI for you depending on your goals and how satisfied you are with your current OLD results.

But there are two caveats I need to add:

Based on your posting history it seems you're doing low-volume, vibes-based mingling in pub crawls. This is essentially a model for "getting lucky" eventually rather than really developing the skills and expanding your options over time. You are doing some things right though, like doing warmups and asking for numbers consistently which is a good start.

You also don't really need to pay cover charges for daygame or even a lot of nightgame depending on the venue, and most guys who are actually good at nightgame don't really drink that much if at all.

United-Implement-382 · 2026-07-20T13:42:21+00:00

How many cold approaches have you done this past year?

Total_Obligation_371 · 2026-07-20T14:45:19+00:00

🙍: is it serious doctor? 🧑‍⚕️: oh yes, quite serious 🙍: give it to me straight 🧑‍⚕️: you have a huge amount of cope built up in your system. Combined with no active learning and a low ability to self reflect and improve, it's a sure-fire recipe for being a whiny baby and complaining that cold approach doesn't work. 🙍: is there anything I can do to fix it? 🧑‍⚕️: sorry, son. If you've gotten to this point, you are probably so mentally lazy and have such horrible self awareness, that it's unlikely the diagnosis will change. You most likely will die being an enormous complaining baby.

Pristineonk · 2026-07-20T10:35:58+00:00

Wait for IOI's. Otherwise your odds are EXTREMELY low on any given approach. Just the way it is. There were some streaming/uncut vids of various coaches back in the day, and even for them with all the 'skills' they have, it was quite brutal and nothing like the cherry picked infields they show.

People hate on online dating, but it's way more efficient tbh. There are just as hot girls online as on the street. You get the same girls in both instance.

Raikkonen716 · 2026-07-20T14:49:31+00:00

I think the problem with cold approaches is that since there is no pre selection, you simply don’t know if the girl you’re approaching is “on the market” or not. And so you risk losing a ton of time to find the right girls first, and then you still have to match. It’s so much easier to approach in locations where people actually go to find thrill. Pubs, concerts, clubs, even group activities (people hate staying alone, why do you think they join exercise classes instead of training alone at home?). By approaching in those places, you often already have some kind of preselection.

Ninenine222 · 2026-07-20T15:15:19+00:00

It’s not about the amount of dates you get, it’s about what you learn from the approaches. You’ll learn way more about yourself, flirting, confidence, etc. by cold approaching than you’ll ever learn from bed. The method matters

plz_callme_swarley · 2026-07-20T15:15:30+00:00

you've got it figured out. cold approach gets pushed in these types of circles cuz the dudes that are here are largely ones where traditional paths aren't working.

also, if you approach 1000 women one at least will sleep with you. if you swipe on 1000 women nothing is guranteed and it often makes your profile worse, not better.

if you cold approach you'll eventually get better at it. there's also this dynamic where people are saying they're "done with dating apps" so the idea of cold approach seems more appealing

Nervous-Arrogance · 2026-07-20T11:50:20+00:00

First of all I honestly don't give 2 fucks, if you do cold approach, dating apps or hell pay for hookers.

I am just curious, how did you "learn" from your cold approaches or did you just do the same thing over and over again?

Title	I'm so done with cold approches
Author	Artium99
Upvotes	29
Comments	37
Date	July 20, 2026 10:21 AM UTC (2 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1v1hj77/im_so_done_with_cold_approches/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-so-done-with-cold-approches.1585456 https://theredarchive.com/post/1585456

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