Is anyone else experiencing less interest in seduction over time?

sexually_available · 2018-11-25T14:56:35+00:00

For you it's not about getting laid anymore, it's about attaining a goal for your self esteem. It's natural to move the goal post. But realise it's the dopamine you're chasing, not the beautiful and intelligent women. They're a means to an end for you.

If I were you, I would try and look for women that are not only funny and beautiful, but classy, independent and worth dating for a long time. You'll find new challenges in getting absolutely brilliant women to stick around with you for months. Or live with and explore their sexualities in entirety with you. And you might find that hook ups are a very very small section of 'the game'.

holdingaces_35 · 2018-11-25T13:40:29+00:00

Idk if this relates, but I'm 31 and have been divorced/separated for about two years now. Long story short, she left me but no love was lost, it was amicable and our child (my life) is much better for it. So I reentered "the scene" with a clear conscience and excitement at the new opportunities.

I had in my mind I'd return to my horndog college days mentality when in reality it's no longer as fulfilling. Don't get me wrong, it's always fun to flirt, date and hookup. But ultimately I'm increasingly less satisfied with the payout for the amount of time spent. Hell sometimes when I approach someone whether its at the grocery store or the bar it's not because I'm trying to pull but because I'm goddamn bored and want to break up the monotony.

I think your interests and desires are merely changing. Your dissatisfaction with the current and the desire for the "next tier" could very well be you simply trying to bring back some sort of stimulation to the game. Or it could be a case of the grass is always greener. For me I'm realizing how much a relationship (despite it being kind of shitty) opened my eyes to a different type of fulfillment. Granted, I don't know if I'd truly understand it if I HADN'T been married, but yeah.

I know that what I'm saying isn't the topic of this sub, but I don't think it's exactly exclusive either. I'm flirting with one chick right now who is the dream girl, the one for the long haul. And it's definitely a shift from the running and gunning mindset but still an exciting challenge with similar aspects. And it potentially has a MUCH bigger payout, one that expands beyond myself. Idk, just my $0.02 worth.

PUA19124 · 2018-11-25T16:22:43+00:00

I am 46. Game is important to me because I was in a miserable marriage because I had not game (confidence)

But so is doing well at work, staying in shape, learning Spanish, eating healthy. The good news is all of those things make you an attractive person. DJ Fuji said the ultimate level of game is being an attractive person.

I recommend Balance -Balance game with your other pursuits and it will feel less like a chore.

2018-11-25T14:32:15+00:00

Tom Brady wouldnt be the least bit interested in playing for a college national championship. He wants Superbowls. Being so, he has to work harder, as his goals are harder to attain.

ripgd · 2018-11-25T12:57:21+00:00

I can’t speak from experience. But from studying Todd V he does say there is a lull point from moving from “intermediate” to “advanced” game. That is, you’ve had a lot of success with 7-8s, but the problem is what has worked for you at this level, won’t at 9s and 10s. So where so many get held up, is they try and repeat what works with 7-8s with 10s and can’t workout what’s wrong.

He goes on to state you actually have to unlearn many of your habits that you’ve developed to get 7-8s, and apply a different approach to see more success.

From a far I can see how this works, and how challenging it would be. But if you can learn to appreciate the “fun” there is in increasing your seduction skills by trial and error be reaching such “unobtainable” women, you might find a new lease of life.

Like you experience at the gym, it sounds like you’ve just hit a plateau/wall you need to change to overcome.

Psynaut · 2018-11-25T20:10:57+00:00

If you think that's bad, wait until you become disgusted with women who think they offer value just because they are hot and have the ability to activate the muscles required to part their legs. At this point, you begin looking for substance beyond just looks. This is the point where things really start to go downhill, and you realize you need to build a relationship with yourself.

eyesopen1111 · 2018-11-25T13:49:03+00:00

If it’s true that you are judging women by both their physical AND emotional attractiveness, then you simply can’t know whether they’re a 7 or a 9 until after you spend time with them. So when exactly do you "lose interest"?

How’s your inner game/self esteem? Are you using seduction to manage deeper emotional issues?

hudmoney · 2018-11-25T20:53:59+00:00

It's funny that when you reach a level of detachment and become self-sufficient, independent, self-assured and all of the other things - you not only place less value on what people think of you, but you also become more attractive.

Yet, when you care the most, you're the most desperate and less attractive.

Inner-game can eventually lead you to desiring more than just interactions and shallow b.s.

MapleA · 2018-11-25T20:38:19+00:00

You think women are gonna be 9’s and 10’s forever? Do you plan on getting married? Sounds very shallow man. Stop watching porn. You have unrealistic expectations and you’re only going to be let down even by the 9’s and 10’s

blueswallowgirl · 2018-11-25T14:10:40+00:00

I can totally understand why this would be frustrating.

It’s a hard one, I would say you shouldn’t sell yourself short as that will only leave you feeling unhappy in yourself and unsatisfied.

I suppose you just have to keep focussing on the end game, that awesome feeling of all your hard work paying off and use that as your motivation.

I wish you luck. :)

Caimthehero · 2018-11-25T16:19:42+00:00

This happens in literally every aspect in life, so long as you're hungry for improvement

Veganpuncher · 2018-11-25T23:05:39+00:00

Hi, CQ. I'm 46. I was useless with women until I discovered Strauss' book when I was about 35. I held my breath, and dived in. I'm not dumb and used to be big and reasonably handsome, so the job wasn't too hard. It got tediously easy to pick up girls of all ages and styles.

Eventually, I just lost interest - not in women, just in the 'Wash, Rinse, Repeat' of the pickup process. I know I can pick up any time I want, it's just not important to me now.

I've ticked that box.

Women are the greatest thing that the Gods have ever done for us, but there's more to life. I no longer need to wake up next to a 9 to feel secure in myself. Like you, I'd rather talk to them. It's just as good for the soul, just as good for your social status, and it keeps me young.

Just my opinion.

simonx9000 · 2018-11-25T12:09:18+00:00

Thanks for the post. I just started seduction and this scares me.

recyclablebanthas · 2018-11-26T05:08:38+00:00

1

Flirtations with women that are significantly less attractive, either emotionally or physically than women I've seen previously feel like a waste of time to me. I feel like this is a problem, as I'm only interested in women that are increasingly unattainable and approaching and going on dates with women below this standard feels like a chore. It's like I'd rather talk to 9s than sleep with a 7.

Have you ever been in a room full of guys trying to decide on who is a "10?" There's never any consensus. One man's "10" is another man's "6" or "7." And one guy's "10" is usually put down as a "6" or lower.

Because this can be wildly subjective, can you specify? What constitutes a "9" to you, at least emotionally?

2

I feel like this leads to perpetual dissatisfaction as I only become interested in women that I am less and less likely to succeed with, whereas I was satisfied with 7s when I first began.

This sounds like a self-manufactured problem. "7" is a title you make up in your head, as is a "9."

Just because you personally rate someone at a "9," doesn't make them someone you should necessarily be "less and less likely to succeed" with. There's no objective rating scale for people. So what you're saying, is that your own tastes determine what their tastes will be, as if someone being high on your scale, automatically means you won't be high on theirs. Which is ridiculous. You're not a mind-reader. There's no way to tell if someone will be into you until you try to connect with them.

If you assume you'll rate lower on their scale, or you assume they'll be "more difficult to get," then that changes your behavior, though. Which does create a self-fulfilling prophecy situation.

3

It's got some good effects as well, as I push myself to gym and improve myself more, but I think it's left me deeply unhappy when it feels like the additional work amounts to diminishing returns.

It's good if you're living more healthily, but it sounds as if your own mindset has been undermining you.

4

Has anyone dealt with this? What do I do about this? I'm considering seeing a therapist but I'm not really sure they'd understand as well as you guys.

Seeing a therapist wouldn't hurt. I was in therapy back in high school and can honestly say, there's no way I'd be where I am today without it.

The guys here are not really the best source for therapy most of the time. While we all might understand where you're coming from better than most, some guys here are also reacting to these difficulties in very negative, self-defeating ways.

But as for what you do about it, it boils down to you working on some self-awareness. Examining your own assumptions and thoughts. For example, this idea that there's an objective scale of attractiveness and that if someone is high on your personal scale, you must be low on theirs. That's utter bullshit, and you seem to take it for granted.

EnvironmentalTwister · 2018-11-27T04:52:34+00:00

No, but the desire to approach sometimes just is gone. I still approach girls here on there, but it's not like even this past summer when my goal was 1 girl a day. Now I'm lucky if it's 1 per week.

blunt_eastwood · 2018-11-25T16:39:25+00:00

Have you read Models? If not I highly recommend it. I think you will discover something in it.

DarkArtsPUA11 · 2018-11-25T21:08:24+00:00

never. how can you ever experience LESS interest in fucking new girls. it's mind boggling. fucking new girls will always be interesting

lhkhj · 2018-11-25T16:24:56+00:00

Yeah I am, but not because I'm pulling ever hotter women, but because I've been treated like shit by women my whole life, including my own mother and sister. At some point you begin to feel it's not worth the suffering. I'm convinced it's because I'm meant for greater things. Women have always been for the profane.

Title	Is anyone else experiencing less interest in seduction over time?
Author	CrimsonQueso
Upvotes	156
Comments	43
Date	November 25, 2018 11:21 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/a07scf/is_anyone_else_experiencing_less_interest_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-anyone-else-experiencing-less-interest-in.1457360 https://theredarchive.com/post/1457360

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