Is anyone here learning Game while they're still in a relationship? (For the benefit of their current partner)

TheDoctorCoach · 2013-09-30T10:36:13+00:00

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le_brofessor · 2013-09-30T11:25:21+00:00

Definitely.

Brief breakdown of interaction.

In the company of other people: I only give her short small bursts of attention. My focus is on everyone around me. Don't be the beta guy who gets caught up in his girl.

In bed: stick with concepts like the 80:20 rule, (when going for a kiss, go in 80%, let her take the final 20%), pull out of the kiss early and then kiss again. Tease her a lot. As far as sex goes, this RSD post has it covered: http://www.rsdnation.com/node/124628

Texting: Be in control of the conversation. Don't be the dude sending hearts and dropping "I love yous" in every text message. And never text right back, vary your response time- don't follow a pattern. She has to know you're a fucking awesome guy, and you're too busy being fucking awesome to reply straight away.

In general: I still neg and tease. I don't explicitly flirt with other girls, but I always make conversation with other girls and if that makes her a tad jealous- awesome.

On the other hand, don't be a douche. If you love her, tell her you love her. Just don't be a needy fuck.

That's my 2 cents. My advice to you is familiarise yourself with game. You don't need to game other girls, but build your confidence and your personality and become an alpha guy. Read up on ideas and apply them to your girl. Just because you have her now, doesn't mean she's here to stay. Keep her interested.

Best of luck to you.

EDIT: link

TheDoctorCoach · 2013-09-30T12:07:03+00:00

I coach for BradP and have had a primary girlfriend for a couple years in a deep, meaningful relationship. She loves that I coach. She constantly tells me "Other guys need to learn this stuff." Her friends want me to fly to their cities to teach their boyfriends better game. I use her as a prop to teach kino and she loves it. Plus it helps the guys learn kino much better than they could get without practicing with a live female.

I don't agree people should keep that they are learning attraction skills secret. Sure, you don't have to mention it in job interviews or where it isn't relevant, but I find it improves relationships. Involve her in the process. Have her know you're going to constantly improve yourself and her attraction to you will continually grow.

As a coach, I'm learning new stuff all the time, so yes, I continue to learn and improve my game while in a relationship.

For that matter, I teach her things useful for girls too. It increases her confidence, assertiveness, expressiveness, skills in bed, and plenty of other things too. It gets her to learn more on her own too.

Also, advice I give to everyone -- keep practicing your game all the time. Like any skill, you'll lose it if you don't practice. Who loses out if you don't practice? You and the women in your life. Women are attracted to behavior more than we are so practicing game for us is like staying fit, dressing well, wearing makeup, and doing their hair for them.

How do you practice? At the very least, flirt with girls you interact with when socially acceptable. Enjoy expressing your masculinity. If you're in an exclusive relationship make sure your girl understands that you flirting with another girl doesn't mean you're leaving her or don't value her -- rather that you're continuing to make yourself more attractive, which is valuable to her and if you don't, it will be like if she stopped keeping in shape, doing her hair and makeup, or whatever you find attractive about her. If I'm with my girl and I flirt with a hot waitress I'll also whisper in her ear "This is getting me so turned on I'm about to bend you over and rip your pants off right here," or something like that so she knows she's being valued.

NarcisoAnassi · 2013-09-30T11:34:30+00:00

No more mr. nice guy could be helpful to you, read it!

Jessie_James · 2013-09-30T12:08:02+00:00

Learning, yes. Maintaining is also crucial. You cannot slip back into being passive.

As mentioned, read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Glover.

Another book which helped me transition from "game" to "keeper" is The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida (sp?).

There are also lots of other books out there that focus on maintaining the relationship, and I would suggest you check Amazon and see if you can find some that fit your specific needs.

exophrine · 2013-09-30T15:56:38+00:00

When in a relationship, you gotta step up your game even higher, because now she knows you better, past your surface persona. She's closer to you, which means you have less of a chance to wow and amaze her, and more of a chance that she'll know your moves. Be warned: the next level is more difficult.

dangoree · 2013-09-30T12:36:06+00:00

Happy to. Married seven years, completely happy, and have learned several very important things here; Continue to groom, dominate through social desirability, flirt with other women to shamelessly show your SO you are desirable and to be competed for, and never to stop competing myself. I'm never afraid to cross my self-imposed (and societal) boundaries with OPP, and those in our social circle these days appreciate my brashness to the point of asking me what's changed AND what they can do different. Keep gamin'.

ortofon88 · 2013-09-30T14:06:37+00:00

After learning some game I found myself in a LTR for 3 years. I was so blown away by how much i had improved over just one year that i had a hard time hanging up my spurs. I decided i would continue to focus on my social skills. I would do what i could to become a social genius. As i improved i realized that i did end up settling and eventually got out of that relationship. And now i have a great social circle and and working on game again. One thing i really got into was the Tao, it has changed the way i look at things on a profound level.

Fliffs · 2013-09-30T14:44:10+00:00

You can always learn. As for practicing, I've just devoted my time into being a kickass wing. It's a good exuse to cold approach and warm up a group, then turn the conversion over to your buddy and excuse yourself. I get to practice, girlfriend isn't upset.

carbidegriffen · 2013-09-30T16:22:24+00:00

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HokumGelpTexas · 2013-09-30T22:40:21+00:00

I'm going to add in that maintaining your Game skillset while in a relationship is helpful because a lot of guys won't drop a troublesome woman for fear that they can't get anyone else. If you have women open to you, when some woman you're with gets shitty, you can move on. Not that you should need good skills or backup women to do so. But it helps.

kingshen · 2013-09-30T10:04:01+00:00

i read "the game" back then before i got my girlfriend. after that i thought i didnt need that manipulative stuff anymore since we are in a relationship and can talk about everything. well in the end i didnt get that i put her her on a pedestal and i did not behave like a men.

so recently i picked this site up and i realised all this. my behavior is now much better and i feel like a men who protects his girl and all that stuff. i can detect shit test again blabla and so on.

to answer your initial question: yes i do.

Adamtess · 2013-09-30T10:45:19+00:00

Still read blogs every day and keep myself invested in the lifestyle that got me to where I am, part of it for the benefit of my still single friends so I can maintain a suitable wingman lifestyle for them. The other part is because I feel like its what pushed me to become the outgoing, get what he wants in the right way, kind of dude my fiance loves. Plus, its always fun reading about how things evolve.

whips_are_cool_now · 2013-09-30T13:03:15+00:00

This was a pretty good read.

http://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/tlorg/my_relationship_manifesto_what_to_do_after_you/

Sillycomic · 2013-09-30T14:08:52+00:00

Yes, yes and yes.

I learned a few techniques when I first started dating my girlfriend over a year ago. I had never been good at dating, so learning how to be confident and not cocky and just generally have a good time ended up in us both having the best first date ever.

I wasn't nervous around her. I didn't keep constantly second guessing myself. Oh! And the best part, I kissed her very spontaniously. About an hour into the movie we were going to watch I leaned over and kissed her. She didn't expect it, but she really enjoyed it.

We constantly talk about that first date. She was so impressed with how confident and laid back I was.

Since then I have keep at it. We have since moved in together and I still make sure to keep our relationship fun, fresh and make sure I keep her on her toes.

Plus, one of the other reasons I continue to learn game is for social interaction, like you said. I was never confident around women, especially pretty ones. I didn't know how to talk to them, let alone flirt. Even though I'm in a relationship I still felt that way. This is a wonderful learning experience to overcome that.

Plus it's fun. It's fun to see techniques that work. I think Game techniques deal more with social interaction than just simple flirting and hooking up. I find myself fascinated with that aspect.

So yeah... you don't stop Gaming once you're in a relationship. If anything, this is the time you need to step things up. I would never want to get bored or in some routine with my girl.

superyay · 2013-09-30T14:13:26+00:00

I'm in a "relationship" right now, so I feel like I can contribute (I put it in quotes because it's not quite official, but it's pretty close).

I'm always looking for ways to improve my game. For me, nothing is certain. Anything can happen and this girl i'm with could leave me tomorrow for whatever reason, but that reason isn't going to be because I'm a bitch. On the other hand, I could leave her tomorrow for any reason. So because of that, I'll still look for ways to improve myself - joining a public speaking class, approaching random women, flirting with random women, etc.

I'll practice taking the lead in unfamiliar situations, practice different routines on her, read and watch seduction stuff, try to better my sex game with her, anything to constantly keep my game fresh. Because if and when that split happens, there will be little to no downtime and rust won't be a factor nor an excuse.

yooamatwa · 2013-09-30T16:00:21+00:00

Hear me out science backs me up. Find out the week when your girlfriend is ovulating ramp up the cocky/sexy/playful alpha persona, have hot sex and for the love of god wear a condom. Long term relationships are about 3/4 beta 1/4 alpha, you definately have to tone it down a bit.

colincush · 2013-09-30T16:26:27+00:00

Use her friends as practice opportunities! I'm not saying spit game at her girl friends, but use them as an opportunity to practice conversing with ease! By default you now have more friends that are girls, and it's a win win situation: you have numerous opportunities to talk to new people, and your girl will appreciate the fact that you and her friends are getting along!

beardedwarrior85 · 2013-09-30T18:28:36+00:00

I have had 4 serious relationships since I read 'The Game'. Three of them read the book and they all actually enjoyed it very much. One of my ex's wanted to see it in action so we would go out and make a game (no pun intended) of it. See who could get more phone numbers and such.

That being said, if your current girlfriend does not know about 'The Game' or the community, I would tread lightly if you are going to keep looking this stuff up. Someone who is uneducated in pickup may see it much differently then we do, and it may even cause your girlfriend to think that you are trying to pick up other women. I would highly suggest explaining the book to her as the autobiography that it is, and offer to let her read it. Then, go from there....

Yessin__JR · 2013-09-30T20:28:27+00:00

Currently I just started gaming, and got better and better at it, but there is a change of me getting in a relationship soon, but I'm actually very sure i'm going to go on Gaming, because I don't know what will happen, maybe we'll break up, but i still got those skills, or maybe we'll stay together, and i got some nice skills :)

chateau-des-pyrenees · 2013-09-30T22:54:32+00:00

You are awesome. I'm a girl and it's so cool to hear about a guy putting in this kind of work on himself while in a relationship. It is so sexy.

CodeMagenta · 2013-10-01T06:11:43+00:00

the game doesn't end in a relationship

snakesonabrain · 2013-10-04T05:07:54+00:00

Im finding it hard to figure out how to balance "game" and just being you in a relationship. Yes I know its about making a new you who is confident and independent. But when your in a longer relationship and spending that much time with some one, How much do we keep it all in and be "outcome independant" when you actually care for some one and care what happens with you two. It's a tough balance

dadhitsmom · 2013-09-30T14:42:09+00:00

I'm subscribed here at the moment to get ideas on how to be a better, more desirable partner and keep my current GF around because she's fuckin' great - so yes, you're not alone here :)

Title	Is anyone here learning Game while they're still in a relationship? (For the benefit of their current partner)
Author	okkiukki
Upvotes	138
Comments	60
Date	September 30, 2013 8:41 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nfg9r/is_anyone_here_learning_game_while_theyre_still/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-anyone-here-learning-game-while-theyre-still-in.1359171 https://theredarchive.com/post/1359171

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