Is there anyone here who actually went from "Zero to Hero"? Anyone who went through massive dry periods, but then started dating with ease? How did you do it?

hunterpua · 2021-05-05T16:14:27+00:00

Yes, me.

I've been dating (or attempted to date) since junior high but only lost my virginity in my 20s and only after learning about game, going through tons of resources on dating and psychology, and going through tens of thousands of weird, awkward, embarrassing, heartbreaking, and sometimes even fucked up situations.

Nowadays, I always see multiple girls at the same time if I'm not with a girl who I consider special enough to commit to and they all know that's the case often before we even kiss so they're all fully aware that they have to share me when they choose to get involved.

Here are some of the things I did to make this change in my life:

-I let go of the limiting belief that befriending a girl only leads to the friendzone and nothing more.

-I stopped being so sexually aggressive all the time and learned that more sexual tension is actually built up when a girl is uncertain whether you like her or not.

-I learned that walking away (actually walking away not just being willing to) is way more powerful than "projecting strong sexual intent through solid eye contact" and other things like that.

-I have actual conversations with women and actually got to know them which led to never being confused on what dates to go on because they tell me all I need to know in the conversation so I can invite them to a date that's specifically appealing to the individual girl I'm talking to.

-I stopped relying on calling something a date or making it clear that what I was doing with a girl was not platonic and instead focused on getting her to actually like me so she'd be hoping that what we're doing together isn't platonic.

-I stopped trying to be "alpha" all the time and learned to determine when it was best for me to take charge and when it was best for me to be a follower. This made it easier to make friends and gain mentors.

-I learned to be open and talk about what I want in a woman which led to the aforementioned friends and mentors excitedly introducing me to women that they think I'd like.

-I learned that sometimes, not having sex with one girl and deliberately putting yourself in her friendzone leads to you having sex with way more girls through her.

-I stopped committing too fast to women who haven't shown me that they really give a shit about me so I never focused on one woman at a time and was always seeing multiple women at a time until I found someone I wanted something serious with who also wanted something serious with me.

-I learned that you can be completely honest about seeing and sleeping with multiple women and that more girls than you think will be cool with that. This led to me being able to do just that without ever having to lie or hide things.

-I learned that adding value that is specific to the individual is way more powerful than demonstrating my own value.

...

This part is for everyone reading this comment

If you find this advice helpful and want to be part of a Facebook group that believes in finesse over brute force, technique over strength, smart work over hard work, Seduction over pursuit then send me a direct message letting me know you want to join.

If you are serious about improving your dating life then I'll be happy to welcome you in.

HandsumSquidwerd · 2021-05-05T15:59:43+00:00

Wouldn’t say I was ever a full on zero but I definitely wasn’t a hero either. I did manage to get attention from women and get dates, but keeping them interested was a different story. I could go on and on, but I’ll focus on what I did.

I did two things to change the game for me: I put in the work to make myself a more attractive prospect, and I changed my approach towards dating. Making myself more attractive was the easier part, the first step of that was really just overcoming my ego and admitting that there was room for improvement.

Changing my overall approach and attitude was the biggest challenge. Before I used to operate on a scarcity mentality, and that led me to getting way too invested in “doing things right” whenever I got a chance to date a girl, and I was always too afraid to make moves until the time was right. This would lead to me wasting weeks or months talking to girls who weren’t really that into me, when I could have been spending that time doing something for myself or finding someone who was interested.

All in all the root of my problems was really just the fear of rejection. Rejection sucks, but after a while I accepted that it was inevitable no matter what, just like many other things in life that will happen whether you like it or not. I shifted my attitude from “Do whatever it takes to not get rejected” to “If I get rejected, I get rejected” and I started being more direct with my intentions. I found that I was getting dates left and right, because I was being rejected I didn’t waste nearly as much time on the same girl as I did in days before.

SalesAficionado · 2021-05-05T12:33:54+00:00

Yes, but you have to talk action. And when you take action in the beginning, it's going to hurt. There's no way you can skip this. My divorce was finalized last month and I'm having success with women.

I have 0 female friends and a non-existent social circle. I also moved to a new place. So what I did? I just starting approaching. During the day, at night etc.

I also started working out. It uplifts my mood.

quinnmcd · 2021-05-05T14:03:04+00:00

I started off as the king of simps. I would drop everything I was doing if a girl called and needed my help. I would always be nice and friendly to women. As soon as I got the girl I wanted to would immediately get clingy. I never wanted to make women sad or mad at me. I would take girls on dates and never make a move in fear that making a move would disgust them. I would let my insecurities sabotage me and tell myself that girls were too good for me. I grew up a very shy and weird kid.

Everything started changing for me about 6 years ago. I moved to a big city, made a tinder, and tried to date. I got some sad excuses for dates and wasted a lot of time. One of my friends ended up very honest with me and told me my style was bad. I got a haircut spent a few hundred on clothes and got more matches and some better dates, but then I ran into new problems I was too persistent and nice. I was loyal and clingy to girls before I made them my actual girlfriend. After a handful of good dates I would delete my tinder with 100s of matches thinking I found the 1 and after a few weeks, she would lose interest, or a guy wasn't scared to make a move would catch her attention.

A few years ago I came to this sub to ask a dumb question. I had just blocked a girl that left me on read for the 10th time and couldn't sleep wondering if I did the right thing or not. After lurking here for a while I started seeing the same comments telling me what books to read. I read the book no more Mr nice guy by dr Robert glover and it changed my life. It has to answers to why my relationships failed were there and why my behavior and belief system were flawed. I read the book models and started watching todd valentine's courses and youtube videos. I loved how he explains why things happen and what to do in different situations.

It took years for me to refine my game. It took years of reflecting on past mistakes until have sex wasn't just a lucky occurrence. Currently, I have a FWB and a fuck buddy, I'm not looking for a girlfriend, because I haven't found a girl worth it (also covid) and I like focusing on my career as a music producer and rental business with my dad.

The mains things that changed were my mindset and presentation of myself. I exercise religion to this day. I lift weights 3 to 4 days a week and do cardio on other days. I went from 134 pounds to 162 pounds. I spent over $3,000 on clothes last year and keep my closet filled with fresh clothes. I wear mid-tier brands like Tommy Hilfiger, Nike, Polo, Guess, and Hollister. I wear plain fast fashion shirts from Topshop, H&M and forever 21. I always try look presentable because I don't want to make excuses when I see a girl I wanna approach. These changes got me a lot of compliments and attention from girls.

Over time I quit caring what people think of me. I do what makes me happy and me alone. I don't like doing things for people's approval and I don't deal with people who make life miserable. My happiness is #1 in life, not women.

It took a lot of time to understand that I have value and how important it is to have realistic standards. There are so many women that I shouldn't have wasted a second, but those women taught me what red flags to look for in future women and what good qualities I like in women. I'm not scared of confrontation and speaking my mind. I love introducing myself to people and making good friends. I care more about the quality of the people around me and not the quantity. I understand the importance of being myself, loving myself, and being polarizing.

I approach women in the club, I've slept with girls from my social circle, and getting dates and hookups is as easy as ever. I don't waste on girls that play games or dating harder than already is. I know what qualities I'm looking for and emphasize the importance of good communication. I embrace rejection and only let it motivate me to stay on the right path.

TecateLanding · 2021-05-05T19:32:22+00:00

I wouldn’t say zero, because I always had long term girlfriends up until my mid 20s, and have been casually dating (by choice) since then.

My best piece of advice is to go out by yourself, and talk to EVERYONE. Get use to small talk, cracking jokes, listening, and making commentary on things people say.

Uber driver? Find out how their day was. Chat with the bartender, the random couple sitting next to you, girls, guys, whatever. The more social you are, the easier dating and approaching women becomes.

I have a bar that I like to go to alone (and this is finally starting to become a thing again), that has tables that are mostly communal. I honestly find that big groups of mixed guys and girls are best. Befriend everyone and figure out the group dynamics. Be chummy with the guys and girls in relationships and flirt with the single girls.

I went out last Saturday and got 3 numbers, ended up getting invited back to someone’s apartment party, and made out with a hot Australian girl in the bathroom. And not to be cocky, but I have countless nights that have ended up like this by following these steps at that bar.

South_Recover_5909 · 2021-05-05T16:53:07+00:00

no

I Just realised that women always liked me, and had given me IOIs since I was a teenager

I was just too clueless, too much in my head, and too submissive to act on it

YankeesTrader1991 · 2021-05-05T17:13:21+00:00

Yes I really just decided to go for it and treat all women the same. Once I did that I got with one girl who was hotter than I could imagine and her personality was also A1, but she was crazy. I realized there’s more than just looks but even if I wanted just that it isn’t hard - it’s putting them on a pedestal which hurts. But also Red Pilling stops you from actually respecting them enough to converse. Balance is key.

bandsupjay · 2021-05-05T22:31:34+00:00

Just had to learn and apply shit. Its that simple. It took me a year to get here, I’m still learning but im way more successful with women. Youtube video after youtube video, applying the shit I know, getting in shape. Its not overnight

Shipbldr2000 · 2021-05-13T14:02:13+00:00

Yes. It was a 20 year journey with a lot of detours. I kept my focus on what I wanted, never quit trying, failed a lot, and most importantly refused to quit until I figured it out. Then came the battle of deciding to stay hungry and keep chasing improvement - not as easy as it sounds.

I am now a guy that has all of the 6's women look for and the results are very much what people tell you to expect with women, career, health, and finance.

I enjoyed the ride, found myself a solid 10 with good character who I enjoy having around and work to stay focused on upping my game.

Sinnerman_47 · 2021-05-05T12:53:14+00:00

Ive learned from experience that there is always going to be dry periods. Some weeks you could stack 3-5 girls, some weeks you find 1 really interesting one. But then other weeks, usually a couple in a row, you have a dry spell for a bit. The most important thing is to have a goal of what your looking for ( be it hookups, short term relationships, or the one) and cater your approach and strategy based off that.

Pain_Tough · 2021-05-05T14:07:56+00:00

I certainly didn’t force it to happen. I let it happen. I let it come to me. What worked for me was I was athletic from a physical job in a hospital. After my divorce, I ended up working in a hospital in my home state. I worked hard, and was polite and formal. I had a girlfriend before the end of month and we dated on and off for ten years. Being in an environment that is dominated by females really helped. The research shows that physical attraction and proximity account for initial attraction. I’ve never done the cold approach, never had to.

Ashido_Komaki · 2021-05-06T13:22:55+00:00

All my life I wasn't good with the opposite sex. I have friends but most of em where not my friends n just used me for what I had. I always stayed to myself cause i had this feeling i didn't fit in or belong anywhere. I'm 27 now with a 1yo son n a baby mama depression still gets to me but I'm still staying strong to find my way.

SPBGame · 2021-05-06T16:20:33+00:00

Not an MPUA. Just average success, given my relatively high natural SMV that I anti-gamed to hell. But I can share a story.

I had a terrible day (and then other mini-versions of it).

It went like this: terrible mood, highly valued ego, feeling like "I am hot as fuuuuck", and then 20 rejections in a row, like ignored, or "Why you touch me?? [implying perv]", or sidestepping my front stops, being bitchy and all that, making me wanna like rage. All the way, tried to maintain a good posture.

Fucking hell, I felt sick after that day for a week of high temperature and feeling terrible.

BUT

"I don't fucking care about rejections" I said, "I will continue no matter what, until I reach a 100, 200, 300, 1000 approaches..." I did so far only about 380 cold street stops. But the next day or two I went to daygame, I got first two solid numbers with 6-7s. One 7 even called me on a date herself to fuck the first date.

That's how my "Pavlov's reaction" of "after painful rejection will come reward" got very strong. That day, even though the sex was terrible for me lack of skills (didn't sex basically until the age of 25), I felt like "I can fucking do it". After that, rejections were 10 times less painful. Automatically. Also, felt like a true alpha, for the right reasons: of withstanding so much willfully incited pain on myself, and then persist through it, just to get to what I want to get.

So, my story of "managing the dry period".

However, I must admit, these days were among the most unproductive I've ever had, in terms of the work projects done and so on. Literally, 2-3 hours of euphoric (or painful) daygame could make you feel depressed for the next 1-2 days. Got into quite some financial debt. But still did it, for I couldn't have let it anymore.

The point is: you must face the destructive element, which is actually destructive (where you will actually lose something, valuable, like +10$k annual bonus, having 20$k more in debt, being physically sick). The dry period incites the destruction. Personally, I was madly annoyed by its existence of the dry period for Me (replicating the ego thought-feeling), just enough that I sacrificed some pretty valuable things to show that motherfucking dry period who's the boss here.

Oh yeah, and all of that was facilitated with a lot of thinking about me, my place in the world, about my social skills, about my childhood traumas, about my actual physical attractiveness and so on. These were actually restorative elements to the psyche.

So that's how I passed the dry period. NOt that I incite the "worship pain", but rather "worship improvement, which may or may not mean pain".

Common-Instance-34 · 2021-05-08T17:56:51+00:00

It’s a numbers game. Never be afraid to move up, or move on.

TheSunshineMan · 2021-06-05T19:28:32+00:00

18 years old - lost my virginity and slept with two total women.

19-30 years old- zero new women

I was in a relationship most of this time + being clueless with women even if they showed me all the signs of wanting me - practically naked rubbing me - and still too much of a puss to make the move.

30-40+ years old - 1,000+ women total (lost exact count)

Like anything else the more you do it - the better you get - the more women you sleep with - the easier it gets.

I'm an all or nothing type guy - when I find a hobby I'm into I give it 200%.

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