It's become obvious i'm an introvert. Looking for any tips or information you guys may use to 'recharge'

fell-off-the-spiral · 2013-12-05T15:13:36+00:00

I'm unashamedly introverted.

How do I deal with it and recharge? I leave. preferably home. But if that's impossible or rude then I leave to the balcony or someplace similar. if anybody asks what im doing then I honestly tell them that I'm taking a break.

If people have a problem with it then tough shit.

NYCman11229 · 2013-12-05T08:12:39+00:00

Keep your interactions in a bubble of sorts just between you and one other person. It keeps you from having to be high energy just because you're around a lot of people, and creates familiarity and attraction between the people in the bubble.

It's not hard getting a girl into your own bubble. If your standing put your arm around her waist and start talking softly to her, if your sitting make sure you sit closer to her or she does, if you act confident in these motions they will not be creepy, because they are a genuine movement to try and get to know a person better. Once your in close enough proximity you just look into her eyes, and ask open ended questions. Give her high 5's, tap each other's drinks and so forth. It will be obvious from the outside, but that does not matter. What matters is that your creating a genuine connection with that person and using the familiarity, proximity, rapport to build obvious sexual tension between you which if successful will make the girl uncomfortable leaving you until you make your move.

blasbido · 2013-12-05T12:48:15+00:00

Thing that helped me is don't try so hard to impress everyone or make everyone enjoy your company. This is probably why you feel that you initially have high energy with bantering and joking around then feel drained.

PUA_Training_Student · 2013-12-05T09:36:23+00:00

Thanks for posting this question. I realised I have the same problem.

eof · 2013-12-05T17:05:07+00:00

Blood sugar.

As an introvert myself I can really attest to maintaining high blood sugar either with snacking or just better, lower glycemic-index meals can have a very very significant impact (as well as regular cardio workout) on sustained energy levels.

SpeakingPegasus · 2013-12-05T17:27:27+00:00

Seriously just get away from the crowd, take five. Get away from people, the loudness of it, take a deep breath and just zone for a bit. It always helps me.

If anyone even comes over and asks you what's up you can just say you had to take a call or something.

Personally though, if a girl bothers to walk over and ask what's up, I'm straight up about it. I get extremely uncomfortable in large group situations. It's easier to get lost in a crowd, and focus on just people you know. But anything like a party where you know most people are just too fucking much sometimes.

I can stand lots of active socialization for a few hours, then I start to lose my focus and just get anxious.

I believe part of mastering 'inner game' is not trying to be something you're not. If I come off as some super extrovert/the life of the party that's fine. However, I don't invest anytime attempting to maintain that illusion, if I need my space I take it.

You will get more comfortable in social situations as in introvert over time, but it will always be an expenditure of energy for you. Take those moments aside and get some back.

ouch_myfinger · 2013-12-05T13:31:40+00:00

Something that helps me out is heading to the bathroom real quick to give myself a pep talk and to get my head straight

Dantilli · 2013-12-05T16:04:59+00:00

My strategy is to prepare myself mentally. If I know that this night out is going to happen I accept that I'm going to be there all night. I accept that It's gonna take a bit of effort to keep the vibe going but if I do I'm going to really enjoy it. So I just commit myself to being there to the end and doing my best to have as much fun a possible. I find that committing to it a few days before and knowing it's going to happen somehow prevents me flagging quite as much at the end of a night. I also timetable some me time every day. An hour before bed and a few hours in the morning. Knowing that I have some dedicated time to myself let's me put more energy into socialising for the rest of the time. And yes, even if I only get back at 4 in the morning I still have that hour to myself.

If you find yourself getting a bit overwhelmed though I'd suggest maybe taking a break by talking to just one person for a while. Having even a quick 10-15 min one-on-one conversation often gives me time to relax a bit and get back into the action. Don't talk to one of your high energy friends though as they're not likely to listen, go talk to a random girl or something. Someone who looks like they might be open to a proper conversation (Not that banter and jokes are bad conversation).

My favourite trick is to find a random girl and try and bring them into the fun. When trying to convince her why she should join you you're focussing on the positives of hanging out with your friends and that often helps convince myself that I actually wanna be back with them having fun too. Yeah, I know you shouldn't try to logically convince her to join you and I'm not suggesting it. But to want to bring her into the fun you must think that she's going to have fun, and why will she have fun? because you and your friends are awesome. It's reminding myself if that fact that helps me.

Last resort is obviously just go home if you really aren't feeling it, no-ones gonna blame you for going home if you really aren't enjoying yourself any more. Going out is supposed to be fun and if you really don't think you can get any more fun out of it then there really isn't any point being there imo.

Hope this helps somewhat. Dantilli out

audacias · 2013-12-05T16:14:19+00:00

I, too, am introverted for the most part (nobody is fully introverted or extroverted, it's a continuum). I recharge by simply spending time alone, usually going for a long walk downtown and taking photographs, or spending time at a coffeehouse, or writing.

As for your problem, here is something I have found that works for me to get past it:

It's okay to not have anything to say.

Keep that in mind. Sometimes listening to the people around you, and shedding the spotlight on them for a while, is the best thing you can do.

2013-12-05T16:56:59+00:00

You have some good answer on here, so I'm just going to mention (because I don't think anybody else has) the book "The Introvert Advantage."

It's not the best book every written, but the author addresses this subject in great detail. Worth a read.

hbPUA · 2013-12-06T02:42:54+00:00

Try not to engage with the whole environment at a time and keep interactions 1 on 1 if possible.

I also find that keeping social momentum is very key to avoiding that feeling of being mentally empty. If I get out of the momentum of thinking positively, taking action, and moving my life forward, I feel drained. I can do more and feel less tired if I focus on the right things.

datbino · 2013-12-05T15:45:58+00:00

find a song that pumps you up, carry some earbuds with you, and take a stop in the bathroom- im not joking, it can recharge your emotions

CACKENBOOLS · 2013-12-05T14:18:38+00:00

Take up guitar or something musical. You can recharge while working on a cheat button. Or exercise.

joshsway · 2013-12-05T16:30:02+00:00

Make the times you have energy count. Don't start out all crazy if you won't be able to keep it up .. spread it out. But you should get better at being open and social throughout the night if you want to increase your odds with women. End of the day, being shy and quiet is not a turn on, period.

SimpleRy · 2013-12-05T16:33:29+00:00

I think this has more to do with managing your life in a way that will be comfortable to you as a introvert. There isn't anything wrong with being an introvert, by the way, and yours is a textbook description. Introverts are drained by social interaction, especially when surrounded by people that they don't know. Extroverts charge their batteries this way, but it doesn't mean introverts enjoy being social any less.

If you have an event to go out one night, make sure you spend the previous evening, or at least several hours before the event, having some solo time to keep your batteries fully charged, and try to make sure you have solo time afterward as well. If you really drain your batteries in the course of a single night, you may want to consider taking a break to get some peace of mind, but I expect that if you spend time alone beforehand, you can handle a long night of carousing just fine.

Being an introvert means that you probably will never be fully comfortable with partying for several nights consecutively, especially if you don't have any down time in between.

Zealous_Zucchini · 2013-12-05T17:14:27+00:00

Same here, I posted just a couple of days ago but I'm in you're shoes. I basically have good days and bad days for socializing, this rollercoaster for interraction if that makes sense.

Three things that have helped me:

Get plenty of sleep
Break out of you're daily shell. After a certain amount of socializing in a given day, you just "break" free if that makes sense. Atleast with me, but I got to go through a daily quota since it resets when I wake up.
Establish that positive attitude for the day before you head on out

bokan · 2013-12-05T19:43:39+00:00

practice never stopping. never stop moving or talking, never revert to introversion if you need yo be extroverted that day

RadicalModerate00 · 2013-12-05T22:08:29+00:00

Introversion isn't as much as problem as obsessing over it.

Afeni02 · 2013-12-05T23:39:59+00:00

OP, you just described me, I "warm up" by going out with friends early in the night, then we go out and part and stay out late into the night/early morning. I too would like to know how to combat this. Sometime I just feel like calling it a night early on but I want to do "something" so I stick around.

shadesof_gray · 2013-12-05T23:44:50+00:00

You just have to go out more, it's stamina that you build up over time. It's pretty much emotional muscle that gets worked on by your night out just like lifting weights, eventually your body gets used to it.

Again, all a matter of regular going out and not letting paying too much attention to it.

RockTheVeto · 2013-12-06T04:46:45+00:00

I'm a HUGE social introvert, so I really have problems keeping me in that socializing zone. Despite that, my roommates have got me covered in that situation.

One of the things they've noticed is that I'm a morning person. Cool beans, right? Well, according to them, so long as I stick to "being a morning person", I end up with more energy. But, then again, I get the same feeling with anything within my comfort niche (i.e. I AM Mr-Fucking-Clean) so at parties I find myself asking if anything needs tidying up... get my alone time and get right back to the party.

If your asking for how to keep up a convo for a longer time, I personally like to have a decent amount of control within the convo. My roommate usually smiles and nods. Find out what works for you.

insomniax20 · 2013-12-06T10:46:12+00:00

I'm sure I'll get downvoted to hell for suggesting this, seeing as we're all being fucking moral puritans in here lately...

Illegal - Cocaine, speed and other Amphetamines. Not too much or you'll get sloppy.

Legal - caffeine. Lots and lots of caffeine. Exercise during the week. It really does work and keeps you alert.

2013-12-05T16:59:05+00:00

Chances are, you're not actually an introvert, since most people are usually a mix of introversion and extroversion.

More likely, you're just losing "state" as the night goes on.

twist_of_phrase · 2013-12-05T10:36:10+00:00

Cardio exercise by yourself. Go to the gym at odd hours, or go run in the woods. Has the added benefit of making you fitter as well.

But on the night of? "Oh, I forgot this thing I have to do for work/class. I've got to run off for five minutes. Don't go anywhere!"

makingchoicesnow · 2013-12-05T16:08:12+00:00

Things that have helped me :

Taking a walk outside for a few minutes on my own.
Letting others speak and continue the conversation while keeping yourself silent has worked for me in the past but if someone is observant, they will question the reason for the silence. So it good to have some answer previously should the situation arise.
Meditating for 5 minutes can also do wonders.

persimm0n · 2013-12-05T07:43:14+00:00

Nobody know your body/personality better than you do. If you make a point of being social regularly then it'll become routine, though.

Title	It's become obvious i'm an introvert. Looking for any tips or information you guys may use to 'recharge'
Author	backflip_bandicoot
Upvotes	76
Comments	40
Date	December 5, 2013 6:54 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1s5962/its_become_obvious_im_an_introvert_looking_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/its-become-obvious-im-an-introvert-looking-for-any.1362608 https://theredarchive.com/post/1362608

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