No confidence/female attention

VDKay · 2021-08-28T14:16:35+00:00

The only time I have successfully picked up and brought a girl home is when her friend told me ahead of time she liked me.

Mind hack: act as if that was the case with any girl that you find attractive and want to meet. Act ad if you've already heard that she likes you

Cascadiana88 · 2021-08-28T07:47:53+00:00

I would suggest seeing a cognitive behavioural therapist to help you work on your confidence and self-esteem issues.

Nofapdeity · 2021-08-28T13:20:40+00:00

Listen dude you need to make some friends. I’m also 21m in college and I have some stuff to say.

Don’t sit in your room all the time you’re never gonna meet anyone there especially if your roommates don’t do shit either. My roommates both are shut ins so I have to be the one to go out. No ones gonna hold your hand. I was sitting in my room bored af at first but then I actually manned up and did something.

You’ve gotta make some friends before you worry about pulling girls. Get a few guy friends. I suggest going to your dorm room/apartment complex common area and meeting people there that’s what I did.

Even if you don’t get any girls numbers, get a few of the guys contact info. If you have a solid group, or even if one of those guys invites you over you could potentially meet some girls.

banditjuice · 2021-08-28T07:46:08+00:00

You need to change your mindset entirely. You seem to have a lot of potential. I usually give advice to people with no hobbies or interests. Look this is gonna be some real valuable shit I'm bout to tell you. Women come and go and will always be there. Dating is like hide and seek. The more you search for a girl the harder it is to find her. However if you just don't give a shit about needing women in your life they will come out of their hiding spots. Your mindset often reflects into your body language. In case you didn't know, women are extremely good at reading body language. Yes you are a cool dude with interests and hobbies, but you may be giving off a needy desperate vibe. I get like this sometimes too. Everyone does. Because it's natural to want to find a mate and partner. But realize a relationship or female attention will not come if you are looking for it. You have to not care or even give a shit. Focus more on your goals and getting money. Good luck g

Observenlearn111 · 2021-08-28T09:15:57+00:00

It's not about girls. It's about you and you only. Teach yourself to look after you.

LandscapeClear1630 · 2021-08-28T18:10:32+00:00

Get female friends.

Get used to be around girls (preferably beautiful girls). This will help you develop an abundance mentality and make you more relaxed and boost your confidence when you meet a girl you want to date.

Woujo · 2021-08-28T18:30:32+00:00

You are thinking about this completely wrong. You do not need female attention. You need an awesome life. You are the one who gives attention, not the one who needs it. Attention is the way the high-status person accepts the low-status person.

ljyljl5555 · 2021-08-28T15:28:52+00:00

"depressed about the lack of female attention" "My experience with girls has been so negative" "I focus on myself too and try not to chase but nothing has been working for me lately."

I sense a lot of hormonal talks there, but that's ok, that's normal for a 21 yr old.

Always work on yourself, mentally and physically.
NO Expectation. Make it fun/memorable for both of you, when you are talking to someone new. You need to enjoy the experience too!
You are choosing as much as she is choosing you. Observe her body language and escalate accordingly (get numbers, go for short coffee break etc). Most of the time, women won't be as accepting as you might expect, they might be busy atm, not in a good mood etc. Accept it, smile and move on.
When you have encountered enough rejections or been through some bad/awkward/cringy dates, you will learn to pick up signs and know what types of woman suit you.
And...if you had consistently work on yourself, by the time you are in your late 20s or 30s, you will be the one doing the attracting and choosing.

erazedcitizen · 2021-08-28T12:52:46+00:00

Do something for you, and your confidence will improve through that. For me, I started going to the gym, felt better about myself because of that, and then most recently when I went to a party, I set the goal of just having a fun time, and seeing how I interacted with strangers (since it was my first party since the pandemic started), and ended up hitting it off with a girl because I wasn’t so focused about hitting it off with a girl.

MuMuGorgeus · 2021-08-28T12:33:45+00:00

Read "models attract women through honesty".

Own-Illustrator-3793 · 2021-08-28T13:57:19+00:00

Cold Approach! Terrifying, but needs to be done. You will feel like such a man after. You're welcome haha.

AelfredRex · 2021-08-28T11:58:45+00:00

You're in college, so study the women.

tryingmybestatm · 2021-08-28T15:48:00+00:00

u fat?, lose that fat. u short?, compensate with charisma/ confidence. you insecure/ not confident, pretend till you get with a girl; that will give you confidence(real) and if you build over time no need to pretend anymore. just ask them for drinks dont be serious or nervous, take it easy and be laid back. next time you ask a girl and u get rejected, ask her how you can improve yourself/ something like that a little later or in that instance if you are texting/ already know each other. if you dont want to do this, ask ur male or female friends(the blunt ones) about flaws in you/ things you could work on. if you cant find your flaws ask other people. once you do find it, get rid of it.

LordPoopyIV · 2021-08-28T16:11:53+00:00

Neil Strauss has a book that you can easily find as pdf called "the style life challenge". It's a really fast and easy method for getting out of your mindset and start dating.

jaredhasarrived · 2021-08-28T18:20:18+00:00

Recognize to that voice in your head that tells you "don't do it" ie your shyness, anxiety or whatever the hell you call it.

Be conscious of it, be aware that it's there. Once you detach your consciousness from this "inner voice" then you can have the power to finally tell that voice to shut up.

One trick I personally used was naming that voice. Whenever I recognize that voice I would literally say "SHUT THE FUCK UP"

kalifo_yt · 2021-08-28T20:54:31+00:00

what has worked for me is faking it eventually it would just become part of you, i faked it i walked with confidence and talked with confidence even though i was nervous or scared, and you have to rewrite the script you give yourself stop defining yourself as unconfident , try and imagine the person you would like to be and act like him and also get out of your comfort zone more and more and never stop because you’ll stay in one place

1HotterDude · 2021-08-28T10:24:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

vanfourello · 2021-08-28T09:50:37+00:00

You telling me you’re playing guitar and experiencing lack of female attention - you must be kidding me?

So as pointed out you do have hobby, then express yourself via it. Don’t just sit and wait for anything happen. Improve your skill, participate in something - dunno concert, show, contests, etc.

Just do that one for yourself not for the girls, etc.

And one more q - there is a chance that you are not receiving the attention from the girls you wanted to get that attention but from others?

As per communication skills- try to look for Charisma on Command YouTube channel, it could help you with self confidence, communication skills and many more!

https://www.youtube.com/c/Charismaoncommand

LJM__187 · 2021-08-29T11:00:43+00:00

You are young. Instead of being picky and going for girls that you like. Find a girl that you think you can score and just build up your confidence with.

thenxrcissistic · 2021-08-28T13:31:16+00:00

ur jerking off too much , stop it.

Optionsmfd · 2021-08-28T15:36:10+00:00

maybe start with some below average girls and work your way up

EGR50 · 2021-08-28T10:26:54+00:00

Semen retention will solve this issue quickly. Here is the sub for more info. r/semenretention

PressureScared7298 · 2021-08-28T09:25:02+00:00

Check out Playing with fire and john Anthony lifestyle. They actually get guys results, without any of the fluff!

https://youtube.com/c/PlayingWithFireDating

https://www.playingfire.com/

https://youtube.com/c/JohnAnthonyLifestyle

https://johnanthonylifestyle.com/

matrix2002 · 2021-08-28T15:09:13+00:00

Go to therapy.

jackmeawf · 2021-08-28T16:56:08+00:00

Confidence also comes with age and time. Give yourself some grace. You will feel much different at 25 or 30 than you do now, and that just comes with growing and gaining life experience.

yoitsappy · 2021-08-28T17:35:16+00:00

If you're in a party, have 2 pegs of whiskey and then try. Not more than that of you'll lose control

DennisReynoIds · 2021-08-28T18:31:44+00:00

I highly recommend Models by mark Manson

after_levi · 2021-08-28T22:34:26+00:00

Never stop having hope.

Even after the 50th reject, the is always another hope.

hodor1033 · 2021-08-29T02:27:37+00:00

Hey bro, when you see a girl you want to ask out/approach just pretend that you know they’re interested like that time the girls friend told you that. Also, read “how to win friends and influence people” the gist of it is in order to get what you want, you have to figure out what other people want. So if you want women (acceptance/enjoyment of another’s presence) you have to give that to them as well. If you’re shy and insecure, they’ll feel that and reject you..

bridgetthebanker · 2021-08-29T12:00:31+00:00

Therapy. Exercise. Hobbies. Confidence. You can do it!

Title	No confidence/female attention
Author	coochie_couch
Upvotes	166
Comments	56
Date	August 28, 2021 7:26 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/pd5enl/no_confidencefemale_attention/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/no-confidencefemale-attention.1277401 https://theredarchive.com/post/1277401

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