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[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
Yes, wearing something worth commenting on is a good decision
The term peacocking has fallen out of fashion, but the principle still applies. You know how you have hard a time you have coming up with something clever to say, even with this community behind you? Now imagine you are a girl who has never gotten a good tip on how to approach a guy. She may want to speak to you, but she has no idea where to begin. Make it easy for her. Dress in a way that gives her an excuse to talk to you.
Extreme peacocking (in my mind) involves wearing something totally out of context. Like a cowboy hat or a purple boa. Girls will come out of the woodwork to touch these items or ask you about them. Still, I tend only to wear something like this when there is a half decent reason (like I found a bachelorette party and convinced them to share their ridiculous accessories with me). Wearing something notable but more tame, like a suit in a dive bar or a cool tie/vest combo will do the same thing to a lesser extent.
Best advice I have: try out new (outlandish) accessories and styles and YOU WILL see a difference. Then hone in on a style that fits your personality and also is drawing the right amount of attention.
[–]dakkeh 23 points24 points25 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Oh man, suit in a dive bar. Yes. You don't even have to try. "Why are you all dressed up? I knew you'd be here."
[–]LilKuch215 points 13 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
My buddy I always go out with actually wears a suit or shirt/tie/suspenders everywhere we go. Suspenders seriously work magic for him. Every girl he talks to wants to grab and "snap" them.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
At least get yourself some sick shoes that fit your style, most women will always notice if your shoes are fly, giving her an easy place to go if she wants to approach/doesn't know what to say
[–]isthisforeal 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I have a pretty good shirt that I wear out, its just a huge panda flexing and wearing a crown. Girls constantly come up to me and talk about the shirt. Even a joke with my friends that when ever I'm wearing the shirt I'm getting laid. So Yes it does work pretty well
[–]puaCurveBall 7 points8 points9 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Peacocking does not really help with opening, it is there to make it easy for a girl to open you, while also giving you a bit of unique personality / recognizability.
If you go out a lot, remembering every persons face (especially under different lighting conditions, and while drunk) is pretty difficult, but remembering the goggles, tatto, fuzzy hat or black nails is a lot easier. It helps to anchor you in her mind.
The 3 second rule doesn't really allow me to think of anything especially clever.
That is the frikken point, you should approach even when you have nothing to say.
You aren't going to get over AA, and opening will always feel awkward like you don't have any amazing clever line to say. Just accept that and do it anyway.
You and an AFC are both going to feel AA, not having anything clever to say and not want to open. The difference is you are going to do it anyway, meaning while he is sitting at home jerking off, you've taken a super hot girl home from the club.
[–]LilKuch212 points 13 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Yea AA is a bitch but it's getting better. I just found out about seddit about a week ago but I can already tell a difference in how I act. I talk slower, smile more and always stand up straight. Baby steps I suppose. I try and make small talk with cashiers and random people I would generally ignore now as well. Feels good man
[–]Squidward_On_Drugs 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Keep it up! Most of us started with massive AA.
[–]mitter1883 -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
New here... AA is what exactly?
[–]flabbergaster1 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Approach Anxiety.
[–]c00kiecutter 5 points6 points7 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You don't have to come up with something clever, you just gotta talk to the girl. That's the idea ;)
So maybe a small amount of peacocking would help this?
Try it? :) Also note to myself: I should start intentionally wearing post-its on the back of my jacket... works wonders in terms of girls opening you.
[–]bonersaurus_rex 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'd like to share how my saturday night when for you guys.I kind of unintentionally was peacocking, and it worked.
I was at the bar (college town) with some friends just hanging out having a good time. I wasn't really out to "game" i was just there to hang with my friends.
well, some of my friends start going up and talking to girls. I see one of my friends just get blown out by this girl, who kinda has an intimidating look, and she seemed kinda bitchy. so i thought, shit, ill just go try to see if i can put a smile on her face. If she's in a good mood, her friends will probably be too, which will help my other friends trying to hit on them. I was fairly intoxicated so im not sure what i opened with, but she seemed to like it. we talked for a while, then she grabbed my hand and took me outside so she could smoke. we went back in, danced and talked for a while.I was wearing a cardigan sweater, and she kept taking it off of me saying she really didn't like it. towards the end of the night i asked for her # and she rejected me saying she had a boyfriend. Since the point of my night wasn't to try to get a girls number, i smiled, said, "that's unfortunate." and went back to having a good time with my friends.
at this point a few of my friends decided they wanted to change venue, so we're all about to leave when a random girl walks up to me. She says "I see you're leaving, but you should really talk to my friend, she thinks you're really cute." I say fuck it, why not. I walk over introduce myself to everyone and talk to this girl for maybe two minutes. Her friend decides we should leave at this point. We leave and me and this girl get dropped off at her apartment. I'm pretty sure you can figure out what happens after this. But in the morning she said something along the lines of, I thought you looked really cute in your cardigan, that's why i wanted to talk to you.
TL:DR - I wore a cardigan sweater to the bar. got laid.
[–]dking168 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Peacocking to me is just dressing nicely.
Dressing better can get you a long way in the long run, not just with women.
[–]BaltimorePike 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I wore a Cosby sweater once which resulted in an f-close.
[–]angethedude 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did you show her what the jazz was all about?
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It doesn't have to be excessive but something that isn't seen on a regular basis. Over the past couple months I've worn a red bow tie while going out and women have always commented on it. Also, try getting a hairstyle that isn't your average bro cut. I have my sides buzzed and my top moderately long and slick that back. Women are receptive to this as well. It's just about standing out. Me personally, I prefer exotic looking women and just by looking at that I can see why women would like unique looking men.
I got to Scotland football matches and always wear my kilt to them. After the game I switch the Scotland top for a white shirt and then head out.
Girls start talking to me all the time. As the night progresses it goes from "why are you wearing a kilt?" to "are you a true Scotsman?". For those not in the know, a "true Scotsman" doesn't wear anything under the kilt. My response is, "why don't you take a look and see?". Works every time.
[–]LilKuch214 points 13 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I'm a chronic over-thinker and I've blown a few shots thanks to it. Before break and before learning about seddit, I opened to a set of two Hb8.5's. I introduced myself, said something slightly clever and then... nothing. I completely choked. I thought they wanted nothing to do with me. They were by far the cutest girls at the bar. So I bailed. It shook me more than it should have. But that also lead me here so can't complain too much.
[–]TAOofSTEVE 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Every guy here has done exactly that. We failed, but then learned from our mistakes. I'm sure the next girl you approached you had something to follow up the opener with, didn't you? That is how we learn what our weaknesses are and then turn them into our strengths.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm relatively new to this but here are some of my observations (PUA's correct me if I'm wrong)
I've noticed than whenever I wear hats I tend to get attention for it, girls will often playfully take it off my head and try to wear it which opens up all sorts of opportunities. Once I noticed this I started wearing brighter hats and they work even better, basically it makes me a) stand out and b) gives them a way to interact with me. These are just standard new era hats ('cos thats the kinda culture I identify with) but I see no reason why more elaborate options wouldn't acheive similar/better results, although I have avoided them because thats a bit too over the top for me. I'm also going to start wearing necklaces to seperate me from the crowd more and to give me another level of touch interaction. I'm thinking white mardi gras type beads at the moment.
So while I don't peacock to a mystery level I think it does work, and the amount it works probably depends on the amount you peacock. Although if you over do it you are going to have to be able to have the personality (for want of a better word) to pull it off (I'd imagine).
Honestly? I think a little goes a long way. Mystery usually talks about wearing stuff on your neck - and if a girl ends up grabbing it and saying something about it, it can end as an IOI.
I picked up the habit of wearing a pendant and am planning to pierce one of my ears. Not only that, but since I'm usually on rock bars and shows I decided to actually wear more white instead of exagerating on the black.
Just don't do something over the loop, like that episode on the Pick Up Artist Tv Show where that dude on his 50's wears something so weird Mystery ends up calling him "Sesame Street".
Do something to stand out, but don't be a clown either.
[–]Philosophicaltree2 points 13 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
I have a light up shirt, and when I'm in dancing environments, girls have an excuse to touch my chest and strike up conversation. I also have really colorful shoes that get compliments but are less noticeable, but they work in the same way. It can definitely help if you have a hard time approaching women, but don't use it as a crutch. It can also help when approaching them because it makes you unique, and it can make them smile depending on the outfit and context.
[–]BeatBoxing_Abe 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like the quote, "Its better to be looked over than overlooked". I don't run around with peacock earrings and a stovepipe hat but sometimes being a bit different is a good thing
[–]lurker_of_seddit 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I sometimes do situation/environment based peackocking. Like wearing a santa hat in christmas time. Never did anything too flashy.
However, sometimes I notice I'm unintentionally doing it, like majority of dudes happens to wear dark colored stuff and I'm there with a white shirt.
[–][deleted] 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Anything to make corona drinkable, i guess
[–]TerriblePUA 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't do it intentionally - and by that, I mean I don't go out with light up belt buckles, furry vests and crazy hats - but I do find myself often wearing something that stands out from most people in the bar.
I tend to frequent the same few bars a lot because I know the staff and a few of the other patrons. If I go out on my own, I'm bound to bump into somebody I know. Most people there are into the indie rock scene and dress like it too. Checked 'lumberjack' style shirts, jeans and jackets. If I'm heading out from home, I'll usually just wear jeans and a t-shirt. Usually something with some kind of picture or slogan on it.
My current favourite is this one because of how often girls have opened me with it (I've even had a few recognise me when I'm not wearing it and ask where it is). I've also had luck with this one because guys would open me and I'd get talking to girls in their group.
Other times I'd go straight out from work and find myself wearing a plain white shirt, surrounded by guys who don't look like they've made an effort. Anything can work if it makes you stand out - It doesn't have to be crazy
I have crazy long hair, its great to open girls " my friend says I should cut my hair, what do you think?" but even better for girls to open me. I only want girls that like my hair so its also a great way to find the right match.
so yeah, peacock your style
[–]HumanSockPuppet 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
As a matter of fact, peacocking helped me get a number today when I wasn't expecting it.
Peacocking serves two main functions: it gives girls a way to open you, and it gives you or the girl something to comment on in order to keep a conversation going.
That's why I have a beard and an expensive coat.
[–]ShikseWTF 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I actually don't know if this is still peacocking but you could try to wear really eye catching watches. That's what I am doing every time, can't go out without anyone asking or at least mentioning my watch. I wear "The One" binary watches. You won't feel uncomfortable with a watch Just my 2 cents http://i.imgur.com/zih4rD7.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/6pTWby3.jpg
[–]nittutt 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just commenting on what you said about the three second rule. It's supposed to work like you described. You are not supposed to have time to work out something clever. You are supposed to say "hi". That's it.
[–]twocardmonte 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I am a college student and I always dress up when I go out to the bars. I also happen to not be the worst looking guy in the world. I haven't had to approach a girl in 5 months. They just come up to me because most college guys all wear the same stuff and you stand out.
[–]Techniq_ 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Peacocking is 1% of the game. You have to have your game down, reguardless.
This is why we have material, a couple openers or so, so you don't have to think about what to say. you already have it memorized.
Peacocking can also be a double-edged sword. You can go to ridiculous extremes like Mystery, but if you still have problems with opening, you can look like the biggest loser there, all in the corner by yourself.
likewise, if you play the game properly, you're the center of attention, you're the life of the party. People give Mystery a LOT of shit in-field for the way he dresses, the way he holds court. He's under a LOT of pressure, and still comes out alpha.
He's generally at the limit of peacocking. You don't have to be anywhere near that. Just a necklace, some nice clothes, something on your wrist and if it suits you, a hat. hats can be nice. You'll have to experiment on what works for you.
[–]Lead ModeratorThrowawayPUA 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It's worth noting that Mystery is a 6'5" goth and a performing magician, so his regular style is a bit weird to some people.
[–]Techniq_ 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Mystery hasn't done goth in a while... he's mixes it up.
Nowadays its the hippie look, the Rockstar (what he looked like in the pickup artist seasons) the insect, and the suit. a big, tall suit. with a bizzare hat of course.
His more outlandish peacocking generally blows him out with anything less than a 9. But women who are 9's flock to him like bugs to a buglight. Think about it. He can stand the social pressure of being the center of attention - just like a beautiful woman.
He chooses his style based on what type of woman he's interested in. His rockstar persona attracts models and actreses primarily, iirc.
..and sometimes when he's not out to play the game, or hang out with friends, it will be just a shirt and something to cover his hair. simple.
[–]LilKuch211 points 13 years ago [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
Is carrying a cheat sheet too much? My worst fear is coming off as a creeper and carrying around a paper with openers is pretty damn creepy. As long as I'm comfortable I'm really good on my feet with witty comebacks. It's the being comfortable with strangers I'm bad at
[–]Techniq_ 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Not at all. You can actually pull it out in front of them if you need to. say "hold on" .. pull it out.. read what you need, put it back in your pocket. "ah, and that reminds me..." stack forward.
I have my entire stack on my phone. I pull it out if I need it (which is less and less nowadays)
[–]User_0 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I have my entire stack on my phone.
Share this.
Agreed.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How much do you want to ham it up with the list?
[–]Techniq_ 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
not much. Just act like you were reminded by something, pull out a piece of paper or your phone, look at what routine you need, and put it back in your pocket.
easy. they might even think you got a text or something. you're not going to mention it, because you just have a fresh story you've been reminded of..
I've jokingly/sarcastically talked about PUA before with success.
"I'm a pimp, I know because I learned it online" or something. Basically, something along the lines of "I'm cute because my mom told me so".
As long as I'm comfortable I'm really good on my feet with witty comebacks.
Holy shit that is a fucking good sign. A lot of people actually have confidence, humor, and all that good stuff already in them. They just don't know how to bring it out with consistency. More experience will teach you to be comfortable around strangers.
[–]Jesse_berger 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Peacocking also works on a mircroscale. I live in North Carolina but I'm often wearing a University of South Florida shirt which is a large school in a lesser known conference so it doesn't have the huge following as UF, Miami or FSU. So a broad "Where in Florida are you from" becomes "You're from Tampa?".
I also make balloon animals, so I occasionally make bracelets made out of balloons... I guess that would make a pretty good accessory.
[–]kingcal 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't worry about what you open with. It literally doesn't matter. My go to opener? "Hi!" There's nothing wrong with that. Just put on a smile and go in with confidence. There may be some girls out there with huge bitch shields up that will immediately shoot you down, but just about everyone can appreciate a warm hello.
[–]rebuildingMyself 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I showed up with my roommate to a normal beach party dressed like Darth Vader and a storm trooper. We spin fire (he the fire poi, me the fire staff). Had no trouble talking to ladies. I brought a date so was giving her most of the attention but found ourselves interrupted occasionally by a lot of people (some of them pretty hot girls). It works but don't do it over and over.
[–]SubbedToSelfImprove 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I have to preface this with a warning that I'm a beginner at this sort of shit, so my opinion is definitely to be taken with a grain of salt.
I think the best kind of peacocking is when you wear something that is true to you and your own style, or else it comes across as extremely contrived.
I watched the documentary DiG! a few years ago and I loved the funky and odd sunglasses everyone was almost constantly wearing, especially the big bug-eyed ones in garish colours. I've never really liked wearing sunglasses because I don't think they suit me, especially aviators. Aviators are so popular that to me, they are boring, anyway.
Whenever I can, I look for sunglasses that are kind of odd, but not too odd. My dad has some elliptical shaped glasses that are black and white checkered, but they're quite uncomfortable and don't shade sunlight. I bought some neon green bug-eyed sunglasses a while ago that I really liked, and I often got comments about them. I accidentally broke them, so yesterday I bought some new ones that are Ray Ban (I don't fucking know) style and are floral and multicoloured. These are my favourite so far because they look like regular sunglasses but they stand out, and I feel confident enough to wear them and not give a fuck if anyone thinks I look like a fag.
[–]KeroKeroKeroppi 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, I also wear a lot of large women's sunglasses and I think it works well. Not for the bar/club scene obviously though :p
[–]SubbedToSelfImprove 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Totally. It could be a good way to get playful with a girl you're talking to, getting her to try them on because they'll obviously made for her. I wouldn't know about the club thing, it's been a while since I've been to one.
I was at the pharmacy today and I was looking through their selection of sunglasses, the exact same style (different colour and no patterns, though) cost 30 bucks and I bought them for 7, ha.
[–]KeroKeroKeroppi 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't peacock that much anymore... But, when I first started I did some really outrageous peacocking (spirithood with a unicorn horn attached, etc), and it really broke down my barriers and gave me some amazing reference experiences and I have MUCH less AA as a result.
[–]rainman18 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or you could just make a balloon animal. ;)
[–]montyy123 -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Not at all. Cocky-funny is the way to go. My advice is to never break character in the early stages with a girl. It's worked my entire life and with three new girls this week alone.
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