People overthinking things

Niklaus_Mikaelson · 2018-04-12T14:43:43+00:00

I say whatever the fuck I wanna say. This overthinking shit will destroy you

Dextorian · 2018-04-12T17:27:47+00:00

Mark Manson and Corey Wayne nail it on the head! Mark Manson says are you Fuck yes about this girl if your anything but a fuck yes your a fuck no and she’s not worth your time! Corey Wayne in his book how to be a 3% man says if she’s attracted to you she will make it easy for you! Why would you want to waste your time with someone who makes it hard? She will open all the doors for you! Look you can’t force attraction at all.

Listen I’ve been on both ends of being too invested and not invested as much and from my experience not invested as much always comes out superior! There is NO handbook that teaches you this shit you’ve got to learn it yourself! Sitting and watching 30 hours of RSD videos and reading books won’t teach you how to get girls you need to experience it yourself!

KBeer01 · 2018-04-12T16:01:33+00:00

Just reading Book of Pook and he reminds me of exactly this - stop overthinking and let your testosterone do the talking! Thanks for writing this post, it had to be said, this sub is becoming a cesspool of over-analysis.

The_Reddit_Jester · 2018-04-12T16:19:52+00:00

For instance, if a guy talks to a girl and keeps up a conversation with her through texting, a girl won't automatically become uninterested because she thinks that guy is "clingy."

I mean, it depends how often you text her.

TaurusSun76 · 2018-04-12T16:37:00+00:00

I agree. Don't over think things, cause you become someone else. Be yourself, and the right people will be attracted to you.

t1mman · 2018-04-12T16:58:01+00:00

Exactly! Many folks are looking for the magic pill, the magic text, the magic moves, the "one size fits all" solution to all their problems.

Each situation is different, and the best quality you can aim for is being able to adapt and being socially aware of the situation, listening to what the others are saying, both verbally and non-verbally and adapting to the other.

The irony in this, while those folks are stressing out on doing the perfect thing, waiting to say the perfect thing they miss out on the many cues that are sent out.

Crashlands · 2018-04-12T17:35:57+00:00

I agree man. Principles > specifics.

A great example, the principle that texting should only be for setting up dates and handling logistics. Maybe that's a good general rule to follow, but it's not 100% of the case. Use your fucking gut, and if your gut ends up being wrong, you're now a little bit better at calibration.

savvyxxl · 2018-04-12T17:08:03+00:00

while you are entirely wrong with your post i do agree with your outlook.. obsessing over what to say will stress you out and ruin it for you and ultimately you're just not being yourself.. so yeah just be you and say what you want and do what you want and find the person that fits the real you.. that being said yeah women will literally read into every single word you said or didnt say and how quickly you replied. Majority of my friends are female and i work in an office of 90% women, they read into shit man and youre lying to yourself if you think they dont. But the worst thing you can do is care about it.

Smooth21 · 2018-04-12T14:55:15+00:00

Good post.

If are you posting about a specific girl. You are over invested. Case closed.

If you are posting about a specific girl, you are already out. She's not into you.

I am speaking from experience here. We all do it. Over analyze everything. If a girl likes you, she will make it extremely easy for you to set up dates and communicate.

If she is making it hard on you to set up dates, or she isn't responding to your texts, just move on.

It's easier said than done of course.

To quote what I texted to my mom this morning:

When two people like each other, they see each other. It shouldn't be like pulling teeth to get a date with someone.

I have to be patient. I have scared more girls away than I would like to admit

I've actually decided not to text the girl I met at the bar last Friday. She has my number, and my last text was ignored. She's not interested. Finding girls that actually want to spend time with me is a much better use of my time and energy

I said this stuff to my mom because she's used to the old me. The guy that was in a 5 year relationship. She isn't used to the guy that has a different girl every other week. I am trying to help her understand my point of view.

If you look through my comment/post history, it will be very clear that I get tons of dates and I hook up with plenty of girls, but I tend to over pursue the girls after the first date/hookup. The end result is that they run away.

This past week I have been actively working on staying centered and not over pursuing. I hooked up with a girl two days ago, and I haven't even texted her since

Murfdigidy · 2018-04-12T15:15:57+00:00

I get what youre saying and we all get into our own heads only to fuck things up more.

But the key to this sub is to build you the tools that allow you to be cool and comfortable around women, so that you're not over thinking not over analyzing.

This sub tries to teach guys to be the best version of themselves so that they're not over analyzing what should I say, what should I text. The answer is I'll text whatever the fuck I want because I'm the fucking man that's why.

SUCK_MY_DICTIONARY · 2018-04-12T17:54:13+00:00

A lot of that comes from the old-school approach to this stuff. Older dating advice used to say “do this thing” or “NEVER do this thing” and newer dating advice is more like “be this person and either you will always do the right thing, or you won’t need to worry about what the right thing is to do.”

Willbo · 2018-04-12T21:42:02+00:00

I agree. Pursuing women is primarily an emotional endeavor, not a logical one. You can spend thousands of hours crafting the perfect pickup line, however it's success will still rely upon your tone and emotional context. This is why innergame and real world experience is so important.

africanpyjamas69 · 2018-04-12T23:40:22+00:00

It just goes to show what this subreddit has become. I mean just the other day a post about "5 cheap first date ideas" got over 100 upvotes. Like come on, how does that even qualify as content?

TheXXL · 2018-04-12T15:54:50+00:00

Well... Don't underestimate the power of language. When you text a girl something that rubs her the wrong way, you're out. Of course that doesn't mean there's a magic spell to use. But what we say I a big indicator of who we are. But also you can get away with so much if you are showing a certain amount of confidence.

BestSC86 · 2018-04-12T15:57:02+00:00

Yes and no....but you are kidding yourself if you don't think that girls are on the lookout for dudes that are needy\clingy\stalkerish. I suspect you failed to recognize because you are naturally not clingy. Thankfully I am neither but tend to be the exact polar opposites...chicks get upset because I am overly scarce over text.

You want to see what they are talking about....pick a girl you somewhat like then text them constantly about what are they doing, who are they out with, why did it take them 5 mins to respond to your text about the cat picture, good morning love why didn't they send you a good night love text, etc, etc....see how long it is before you are ghosted\blocked\ecckkkkkkk.

Honestly, you likely wouldn't believe how immature and cringey dudes can be.....

It is really a girl's 3rd worst nightmare behind rape, being rejected by a dude they like and then is the dude who is needy\clingy.

WillisJackson · 2018-04-12T16:35:15+00:00

This is very true.

Ricklogical · 2018-04-12T19:57:04+00:00

Just because you didn't say the exact right thing doesn't mean it's game over.

This is a big deal. I wish more people understood this. Roll with uncomfortable mistakes. Only stop interacting if they stop behaving in a way that pleases you, there is no reason to throw it in and over react when something goes wrong.

It's messy, not smooth, most of it is going to be rough at times. Get dirty and work at it, so much to enjoy, even the hard lessons.

b0ng00se · 2018-04-12T23:07:28+00:00

I'm happy that this sub encourages being genuine. I was seeing a girl that said I came off strong over text but that I'm totally different (more chill) in person. instant communication without human interaction is sofa king new to our species, were the ginnea pigs with this technology, so it remains important that we keep this discussion open and all learn from it as much as possible. Regardless who is right, were (generally) not wired for this type of interaction yet, and our past and biology contributes to coming off 'clingy'. I mean, if I'm face to face, there's no overthinkkng. There's usually no thinking capacity at all. i jump to overthinking once we start texting.

Eskeeetiiit · 2018-04-13T03:07:16+00:00

I agree there are never ‘right’ things to say but there are definitely wrong things. Girls CAN lose interest and become unattracted to you if you come off as creepy and such by just saying the wrong things.

cdpcholine · 2018-04-14T03:36:29+00:00

Its what happens when you have information overload. Theory can harm if never used.

NACHTK1113R · 2018-04-12T16:32:25+00:00

This is bollocks say one wrong thing and you get blocked/ignored. Women are very unforgiving even to men they like.

Title	People overthinking things
Author	Starsky_96
Upvotes	200
Comments	45
Date	April 12, 2018 1:46 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/8bq996/people_overthinking_things/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/people-overthinking-things.1444722 https://theredarchive.com/post/1444722

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