Seddit, I need some clarification...

danxmason · 2011-07-23T18:43:23+00:00

Most guys get into game to get vagina. Once they have successfully earned their fair share of strange, they begin to understand the sense of dissatisfaction that comes from meaningless sex. They continue the game and evolve it so they can start getting more meaningful relationships with women. At that stage they find themselves torn between their AFC-self and their PUA-persona. Ultimately their relationships fail because they cannot keep up living 2 different identities at the same time.

In the end, they realize that in order to find a deep and meaningful relationship with someone with whom they are truly compatible, they will have to drop the PUA act and simply exude the natural confidence and interests which they have gained through their PUA experience.

Game is training wheels for improving yourself. But using it to find relationships will ultimately end in heart ache.

Sed5 · 2011-07-23T19:43:38+00:00

TL;DR Are we trying to pick up women, or pick up vaginas?

You're using a loaded question here to imply something about the whole community as a whole. It's "you" as an individual...we do not all share the same goals.

Why do people like you put two extreme sides(false dichotomy) then imply/assume that you cannot have both at the same time.

I go in with 0 expectations of plans. If I like the girl, sure we can have a relationship, maybe a FWB, maybe a non serious thing for a few months..it all depends. What she wants, what I want, and if our ideas are compatible.

People are all different, so you can't have a one track mind when it comes to women or men, they're not objects..they're people man...and hey..if she wants a one night thing..why not?

If she doesn't? That's cool, I'll be upfront about what I want and what I'm looking for when it COMES TO HER personally. If she disagrees, that's cool, if she's interested, that's also good.

I think it's people who have this type of view in the world, where it's either one thing or the other that really misunderstand stuff in life..because this is not how it works.

avery said what I wanted to say below,

"I think your view on sex is a bit off if you think having sex with a girl who wants to have sex with you is "using" her or disrespectful if you aren't emotionally attached with her is wrong.

Sex isn't something you take from a girl, or that she allows you to do to her. It's a mutually enjoyable act. Girls are just as horny as guys, and plenty will enjoy just having sex just like men stereotypically do.

As long as there is nothing incorrectly suggesting that you're interested in a deep relationship with the girl and she's down with that, sex away."

tl;dr The two options are not mutually exclusive, one can track to pick up women but also want a relationship. There's nothing negative about wanting a relationship or a one night thing from a woman. She might enjoy a one night thing and not want a relationship? Who knows.

ImKumarYo · 2011-07-23T18:05:50+00:00

I think it really depends on the person. Personally I'm not a one night stand type of guy but I'm focusing on same night lays because I want the ability to have it should I so choose. I have no interest in cheating on girls when I'm with them or sleeping with girls for the sake of sleeping with girls. But when I do want to find a woman, whether it be for the night or long term, I want to have as much control over who I get as possible.

razqel · 2011-07-23T18:43:22+00:00

A big focus in the community is sex. The F-close is often regarded as the ultimate goal and the measure of a man's success in the field. The idea of building relationships and forming a connection (i.e., comfort stage stuff) isn't given a lot of attention. When comfort-related stuff is talked about, it's usually done superficially and treated as a means to an end.

I believe part of the reason is this is the strategy most guys have tried in the past and it landed them in the friend zone. A key thing they lacked was the ability to sexually escalate, so resolving this weakness in their game becomes the main focus. They think, "Well, I can get to know a women all I want. I've been doing that for years. Now I want to romance, the flirting, and the sex." (i.e., the stuff that was missing before).

I have to agree with you 100% about the importance of treating women like human beings and with respect. Hence the PUA adage: "Leave a woman better than when you found them." I believe the community in general supports the idea of being non-manipulative.

But guys and girls both have sexual desires. Not everyone wants to form relationships and that's fine. As long as no one mistreats or misleads another, what's the harm in satisfying your sexual needs? Some want just sex, some want a relationship, and some want both.. there really is no issue with that and it's unlikely we'll ever know the true percentage. Again, whatever one's goal, the important thing is to treat women with respect and look after their well-being.

All that aside, I do think it would be good if there was more discussion on Seddit about how to build relationships and an emotional bond with women. A lot of guys assume that once they get the girl the game is over and the relationship part comes easy and naturally. Anyone who's been in a relationship knows that's not true. Every mPUA I asked on the side bar Interview Series agrees that pickup is different than managing/maintaining relationship. Therefore, it's important to learn how to get the girl as well as how to keep her for the long run (if that's your intention).

2011-07-24T01:19:28+00:00

Just adding in here, you sound nice as fuck. On behalf of the many women who will not appreciate this, thank you.

2011-07-23T23:27:04+00:00

This is the best post I've seen on here in a long time.

That said, I just want to get laid. I make it pretty clear as well towards girls. I do not go for a deep connection with most girls, I only approach them sexually. I get laid regularly and have multiple fuckbuddies.

Why? Because I want to live my life like this. I don't want to get tied up in another relationship. I don't want to make someone fall in love with me. I am a whole person just by being myself. In the current stage of my life it is better to be single and to fuck around.

There is this girl. She's great. Hot, funny, chill, just awesome. But she's also just my friend. She is one of my best friends. But because I know that we have a close connection, I don't fuck her. I know I could at any time, but I don't. Why? Because I know with the connection we have, I would only end up hurting her.

I just want to make it clear that there must be a distinction. If someone just wants sex and is also clear, honest and fair about this to women then I think it should be no problem. I do not lead women on and I do not hurt anyone and I still manage to maintain complete control over my own life while having sex regularly. Women are also very often open to having such relationships, especially when they are still younger and don't want to get attached either. The only distinction is that you have to make this clear from early on. The ones who are not okay with it, will fade away. The ones who are okay with it, will stick with you.

Casual-T · 2011-07-23T21:21:29+00:00

I'd like to pick up a girl for who they are and to build a relationship with. I am definitely not in it completely for sex.

HellloYouu · 2011-07-23T23:37:59+00:00

...has a girl friend at home (I've never been polyamorous).

FTFY

edubation · 2011-07-24T02:41:21+00:00

I love women, I want to meet and spend intimate time with many of them. Sex is a part of it, but its not all of it. I want to know and drink in their full personality, feel their touch and hear their laughs.

Getting laid is super easy, just go hang at bars. Playing the game is different.

lostmessage256 · 2011-07-24T04:43:23+00:00

Whatever your endgame, the opening boils down to the same elements. That's what seddit is here for.

Nexism · 2011-07-24T06:45:10+00:00

Your friend is a fucking idiot.

and you, are misinformed.

/r/seduction is about teaching non-naturals conversational skills (fundamentally) and help them develop a sense of confidence and fortify their identity (inner game).

[e] You'll realise most well achieved PUA's don't pick up for the goal of sex, but rather to interact. Sex is merely a bonus.

throwaway-o · 2011-07-24T06:45:39+00:00

So he is in an "open relationship" where his girlfriend gets to fuck around and he gets to twiddle his thumbs.

LOL.

That's not an "open relationship". That's an abusive relationship, where the chick gets what he wants from him and gets game from other men, while this guy is losering around being played by that woman.

This is why the vast majority of "open relationships" don't work. Unless you're a bona fide player, the woman ALWAYS gets to fuck around whenever she wants, while the man gets dirt.

Why? Quite simply, because almost all men are down to fuck with strangers, even ugly ones (ensuring a steady supply of meat for the cock carousel that sluts want to ride) while almost no (self-respecting) woman is down to fuck with a stranger (because the one who is saddled with a stray kid is her, not the stranger that erupted a volcano of man juice in her cunt).

This whole "men are equal to women" (in rights) has spilled so much into the camp of "men are equal to women" (in mental constitution) that people have absolutely forgotten the basic fact that women are hypergamous while men are polygamous. As I said earlier, unless you are a master player, "open relationships" are inevitably an arrangement in which the woman gets to be dicked by multiple men (usually of higher mate value than the chump boyfriend) while the man twiddles his thumbs.

Your roommate being a perfect example.

Don't teach him shit. He needs to ride this shit out and understand in his own flesh the magnitude of the mistake he made (which he made for a REASON embedded in his pysche). Only after he has understood it, will he ever be ready to actually game.

2011-07-24T12:39:49+00:00

Wow, no wonder chicks like you. If I had to guess you're intelligent, thoughtful, good hearted, and moderately to pretty handsome. Good on you for a killer combo, many men who don't have to work for girls (which it sounds like you dont) don't ever develop anything relating to a sensitivity or concern for them. I have often wondered simillar things about this subreddit. I don't understand this infatuation to study and follow PUA's and develop a step by step strategem meant to basically prey or manipulate the female psyche into giving you pussy. The girls are rated on a scale based simply upon looks, which is indicative of the fact that the dudes are really just trying to exploit the best looking pussy they can with this strategy. They apparently spend countless hours studying how to kino (dont know what that is), how to escalate, change venues, they spend HOURS to study this shit like a science (and it is), post on here what happened and what went wrong. In the end its just fucking pussy (being thats all mostare after). A pussy that's also a person. Why put it on this pedastool as some golden goal or achievement. How retarded are you if you measure your self or you satisfaction in life based upon how many hb whatevers you smashed. These are people, just like me, they arent better or worse than me, they are humans. If I cant be 100percent myself and she want to sleep with me, who the fuck cares. It wasn't right, or it was her loss for her inabillity to accurately assess me, and why would I want to fuck a shallow or dumb chick no matter how fine? I just dont get how these dudes are so hung up on pussy, how it can mean that much to them. It's completely contrary to the principles of evolution to seek mates based on one shallow criteria, even if your intention is not to procreate, 200 thousand years of history should affect their sexual preferences, but it doesn't. Honestly I see these men as the weak in the herd, they are so blinded by superficial concerns, many of them have the illusion (and many who wish to take their women are under the same illusion) that they are Alpha males. Big muscles, nice features, fucking the finest women you see, others using Kino or whatever other tactics to chase hb this or that trying to get what these fake alpha males have that they think they want. Pure weakness in my eyes, the Alpha male locks up the best/strongest/fittest girls, and those are sometimes hb9, but sometimes they arent. The alpha male acts on visceral primal urges that he cannot stray from, not superficial things society has told him make him look good. He's not trying to trick or seduce anyone, when he wants to fuck, he wants the whole woman for who she is, what she stands for and represents, and her compilated worth. This is primal and visceral attraction that reaches back into time, and it is also damn near the requirement for the best sex. Without this attraction the sex is as superficial and as useless the game. Its just a girl fellas, be yourself, get to know them, treat em like people, fuck some if they like you as you are, dont if they don't. By treating it like this golden amazing prize which must be studied and played perfectly to acquire you hand over all power and control to someone else. Those are the actions of the weak, not the strong.

wafflepancakes · 2011-07-23T19:20:41+00:00

Your TL;DR is incorrect. It's not "we" as you are thinking. It's "you" as an individual.

As for your question, I know 3 guys that I hangout with regularly that just want pussy, and that's it. I'm included. We're all in our mid 20's.

Edit: Only on Reddit would I get down voted in a seduction sub-reddit for stating the opinion that I only want to get laid. Good one guys, I admit I chuckled.

testmypatience · 2011-07-23T20:10:56+00:00

I think that your situation is awesome

Dantai · 2011-07-23T20:26:39+00:00

Hey could you tell me how to maintain a friendship with a girl you have slept with, or are intimate with such as you described.

I am currently in that situation with one girl I have started seeing, but I don't see myself committing to her. She is cool and all, and I consider her a friend for sure and not as a person I would "just want to fuck them and be done with it." But I would like to keep it stable and see other girls in the meantime.

TLDR. I don't know what I want in a relationship, yet, want to keep dating/sleeping/getting to know various women, but maintain stability with girls I've slept with in the same manner as you have.

chumpta · 2011-07-23T23:01:20+00:00

people are different, i don't see what's so hard about that

germ994 · 2011-07-23T23:39:54+00:00

Single guys have the time to (considerately) get to know a lady and spend that quality time with her to appreciate her, fuck her, then move on and rationalize it all in nostalgia. Guys in relationships (open, exclusive, or married) don't have that kind of time to devote, need to keep it under the table, and therefore think its affable by nature of men to quickly meet and bang as many ladies as possible.

GuildMonkey · 2011-07-23T23:58:29+00:00

I'm here for a little bit of both, I've noticed that I've been better with women in all aspects but I'd still like to get some every once in a while.

-shaughn- · 2011-07-24T08:33:19+00:00

I don't get how the fuck a lot of you sedditors have all this time to be just hanging out with women, going to clubs regularly, et cetera. I would think if anything, the idea of a hookup is that it requires minimal time investment.

I mean, it's neat to learn a couple things on here to give yourself an edge, but some of you spend so much time I don't get the point. Like you, OP: how bored do you have to be that you so regularly entertain guests you are not interested in?

Title	Seddit, I need some clarification...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	57
Comments	54
Date	July 23, 2011 5:51 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ixs5o/seddit_i_need_some_clarification/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seddit-i-need-some-clarification.1320548 https://theredarchive.com/post/1320548

Comments