Seducing without playing games - A reflection

Altruistic-Patient-8 · 2025-09-28T21:02:03+00:00

Play games with women, and they'll play games with you.

F3mi · 2025-09-28T21:07:45+00:00

I hear you dude. I started to feel the same way when I realized that getting a girl sometimes felt like when you try to hold onto something in a dream. Your hands can’t quite seem to close and your grip turns to mush. I switched up my standards and told this one girl that one of my deal breakers was game playing and that I wanted to be present and real. We broke up shortly after when she lost attraction. One of the comments points out a key issue: when you behave a certain way, you attract a certain type. What’s even more tragic is how common this dynamic is in society. Even as a guy, letting go of the false abundance and truly embracing the reality of solitude can seem tough. But it’s the first step towards security. The truth is, if you’re attracting some women, then it’s safe to say that on some level, you are attractive. There will always be more women, and when you decide your standards include secure attachment, the only times you do dream, you will actually get a grip.

DopeAFjknotreally · 2025-09-28T20:54:51+00:00

You totally don’t have to do that shit. It’s good to be busy and not needy. You’re only ever gonna attract shit personalities of you live your life like that

Mountain-Link4598 · 2025-09-28T21:27:41+00:00

Meh I don't do that and do fine , when you have enough experiences and have a fulfilling life and do have options with women, you can just act authentically and you will be attractive. The key is actually just not be over attached emotionally , then you don't have to fake it. I don't text back super fast genuinely because I don't feel the urgency to, and when I do text back fast it's fine. Same for compliments and anything else. Hasn't hurt me because it's coming from a place of overflow , not of lack.

I get that sounds a bit arrogant , I am far from perfect and still have neediness and flaws , but just compared to where I was before , it's so much better both in how I feel and in my results.

I've also noticed there are genuinely high quality great women who you don't need to 'game' as long as you are authentically confident , independent and happy. The ones that require that much gaming are generally not worth it if fulfilling connection is what you want. They have to go through enough negative life experience to motivate them to change. Wish them the best but they ain't there yet.

RamenGriff · 2025-09-29T13:36:33+00:00

felt this hard man. tried being the "mysterious guy" for months and it was exhausting. couldnt even send normal texts without calculating timing (engineer brain made it worse honestly). breakthrough came when i realized authentic interest is way more attractive than fake scarcity. been using gleam (basically duolingo for social skills) and their text exercises taught me how to be genuine without being needy. the daily practice helped tons. now i can say "hey how was your day" without overthinking it to death. authenticity with good timing > mind games

orianenator · 2025-09-28T22:22:26+00:00

You can be upfront and candid so long as you do it with the right energy and not from seeking validation

eablokker · 2025-09-28T22:40:28+00:00

You have a cake to share between you and her. If you eat all the cake, there’s none left for her. If you don’t eat the cake, there’s plenty of delicious cake for her to eat. She likes when she gets to eat the cake. She doesn’t like when you eat it all and leave none for her.

I know you want to eat the cake so badly. It’s ok to take little bites sometimes. But leave enough for her. Or indulge yourself but understand why she’d be mad.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-09-28T23:09:33+00:00

Don't play games. Continue to develop your identity without the need to compromise your integrity. You're only 18.

Novel-Car-2268 · 2025-09-29T02:19:01+00:00

You are hurting a lot of girls and trust me you will never find a genuine connection like this

purpleshoesamurai · 2025-09-29T00:16:10+00:00

how many girls have you actually fucked over the last year with this fake persona? i promise you can def get more girls and have the better quality relationships if you just grow into yourself more and stop being fake

ballfond · 2025-09-29T03:34:11+00:00

Yeah man it's disgusting, but I hope I can adjust to this feeling someday until then I'm not going after girls,

Like even expressing joy can kill all the attraction you built , you have to pretend you have emotional issues that these women want to tackle like in some third rate romance novel

Life-Income2986 · 2025-09-28T20:56:35+00:00

You let your need for validation from women dictate how you behave? You should be ashamed.

TemperatureNovel7668 · 2025-09-28T21:43:05+00:00

Yea I hate it too. Kinda is what is what it is.

ThroatFinal5732 · 2025-09-28T22:38:27+00:00

Nice Guys - Ryan Higa

A song wrote as comedy, but underneath a timeless truth.

ImpossibleWaiting · 2025-09-29T18:48:37+00:00

I'm talking to an amazing girl every day and reply whenever I can, sometimes instantly, sometimes later. Not sure why you believe you need to be unavailable for her to keep interest. You must be interesting to keep her interest. I do tons of stuff daily. Today I showed her my singing progress and she loved listening to me. I don't need to ghost her to keep her attracted. I can just show how cool I am. We're talking for a month already (long distance), and she's still as attracted, if not more.

Try it out. You're just living a dogma. You're wrong about it. There are approaches to dating that will keep a girl constantly attracted.

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2025-09-30T11:23:07+00:00

Bro, you’re getting the whole “mysterious” thing wrong. Of course it’s gonna drain you if it’s not something that actually feels connected to who you are.

What I always see with guys is they mess up in the texting game. It’s not about replying late or fast — it’s about what you’re sending her. Sometimes you can hit back quick, sometimes take your time, doesn’t matter. They’re women, they don’t run on logic.

Texts, for me, are just a way to build a sense of security in her. The real seduction? That happens face to face. You’re gonna burn yourself out if you keep feeling “needy” just because you’re writing to a girl.

LavaDragon3827 · 2025-09-29T00:39:28+00:00

I understand what OP is saying...and people going to give him shit but its 100% the truth. Nothing turns a girl off faster than responding right away or even within an hour or two.

Being too available is an attraction killer. Having many options (or even the illusion of) makes girls chase you more. Its not mind games. Its just...the game in general.

Title	Seducing without playing games - A reflection
Author	PlantainExpensive360
Upvotes	82
Comments	25
Date	September 28, 2025 8:48 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1nsz8k2/seducing_without_playing_games_a_reflection/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seducing-without-playing-games-a-reflection.1563039 https://theredarchive.com/post/1563039

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