Since writing our top post on relationships, “My Relationship Manifesto: What To Do After You Get the Girl,” I’ve helped a lot of Sedditors via PM. I’m now a professional dating coach specializing in relationships. AMA!

YippyKayYay · 2013-03-12T15:10:00+00:00

I would be interested in a relationship column!

Soupertramp · 2013-03-12T16:00:44+00:00

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texture · 2013-03-12T18:31:06+00:00

My brain is melting. You have one girlfriend and you're an expert coach now?

birdwontquit · 2013-03-12T15:09:35+00:00

How much money do you make annually? How do you get your clients?

Soupertramp · 2013-03-12T15:16:35+00:00

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SouperLady · 2013-03-12T15:13:06+00:00

I'm soupertramp's gf, and I approve this message! Proof and proof!

MrMiracle26 · 2013-03-12T17:38:02+00:00

I feel like I'm frequently being judged by how much money I make [or don't make] and the fact that I'm in my late 20's and still live at home with my parents. The latter is because both 1), to pay off college debt [debt free as of last year] and 2) helping Mr. Miracle sr. after his heart attack. It doesn't matter if I stat I'm going back to grad school or I'm helping family, I feel like women [and society at large] are just hearing "living@home +lazy." when nothing could be further from the truth.

The problem is that I'm square in the middle of every statistic for generation screwed. What advice would you give me?

beatboxrevolution · 2013-03-12T15:14:17+00:00

yeah let see that relationships column

itsmevichet · 2013-03-12T15:07:13+00:00

When'd you get started, and what got you on the road to what you're doing?

themodsarepricks · 2013-03-12T16:01:44+00:00

How do i get over my insecurities about looks and lack of experience with women. I'm losing my hair and it makes me feel even more ugly and unattractive to women. I'm not overweight, a bit skinny, i dress okay, etc... so I can't really change more quickly because working out and getting results takes time. How do i get past it? How much do looks play a role in getting women, and how can one overcome that as an obstacle?

I'm also a older virgin (26), who has social anxiety, never been on date. As a dating coach what sort of advice would you give me to get past that and start getting dates/getting laid.

If you had to pick the one best seduction teqnique what would it be?

Finally what approach do you recommend for meeting girls if bars/clubs are out? How do i get dates?

What are your thoughts on rejection?

throwaway_gfpro · 2013-03-13T00:43:21+00:00

For anyone wondering if this is just some new guy trying to make some quick money, I'm here to address your concerns.

Soupertramp helped me out when I reached out to him with a delicate girlfriend situation. He was helpful throughout the process, always giving me extra advice and his expertise on the issues. Ultimately, his advice worked. The situation turned out much better than expected, and I'm very happy that I reached out to him.

If you need help, I highly suggest using his website. I can't recommend him enough.

Glint22 · 2013-03-12T15:25:25+00:00

3 best books/articles on relationships?

ECarrell · 2013-03-12T16:14:06+00:00

Also, Superlady, what is it like dating a "professional?" Is he different than your other boyfriends? If so, in what ways? Do you see the difference in things such as communication, sex, overall romance in dating OP as opposed to guys who didn't take the time to improve themselves in this respect?

piperson · 2013-03-12T16:39:29+00:00

Eventually, I worked up to a point at which I could meet and attract women, but I couldn't close, which was my main sticking point.

Did you have any simple tips to help people with this sticking point? What do you teach your clients?

Soupertramp · 2013-03-12T17:38:46+00:00

So how screwed am I? I looked at the original post and I don't get #1. Thats what ended my last relationship, she said she wasn't having fun anymore. I'm just not that type of person who can cleverly jump around and be like that. I was raised rural where men fished and worked and drank didn't speak a lot. I don't want to have to be entertaining my girlfriend at everyturn its alot of work and I have better things to do than it. I love to be adventurous but humorous is not my thing. I think I am up pooper creek without a paddle.

sybban · 2013-03-12T17:42:20+00:00

How old are you? What has been your longest relationship? How many have you been in? Have you dated different women of a wide range ages, income brackets, religions, countries, etc?

ECarrell · 2013-03-12T16:08:07+00:00

What would you say to a guy who doesn't have a problem approaching women, even getting a few from the bar in bed every now and then... but can't seem to make that transition to the dating world? I will get a few numbers, but when I try to actually date these girls or even hang out with them in a non-bar scene, it seems to be a flop every time.

UnapologeticalyAlive · 2013-03-12T16:44:07+00:00

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TsumeAlphaWolf · 2013-03-12T17:07:41+00:00

Awesome. Would really like the relationship column. My question is how would you go about introducing an exclusive relationship? We talk about #-close,k-close & f-close...but can we talk about r-closing :D

Soupertramp · 2013-03-12T17:20:46+00:00

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Soupertramp · 2013-03-12T17:22:54+00:00

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throawaydatshizle · 2013-03-12T18:17:05+00:00

Been discussing this with a lot of friends, but I'd love to hear your insight on this one.

I've been "dating" this girl for almost 2 months now. At first she just wanted to "stay friends", rejected kisses. But she was always coming to my apartment to watch movies etc. One day we were snuggling on the sofa watching a movie and I just landed a kiss again she went to lets not do it mode. After a month of playfully escalating stuff I got to the point where we see each other 5-6 times a week and have sex or have very long make out sessions etc. We always hang out together during weekends and we are obviously both into each other.

HOWEVER, she still doesn't want to be my "girlfriend". We talked about this twice and I wasn't forceful at all just curious. She told me that being my "girlfriend" will complicate things. I told her that I like her and I wouldn't mind a relationship, nor staying this way. She keeps giving me shit tests like: "oh why do you care, isn't this what you men want? you can fool around with other women" which I reply saying I don't need any other women/I don't care etc. I'm not planning on bringing this up again but I am starting to really fall for her and get jealous time to time.

What should I do? Should I bring this up again? It's just that I will be insanely bummed if one day she hooks up with another guy or something (even tho she told me that she won't do that). She just won't fucking admit. Help me.

tl;dr: seeing this chick for almost 2 months/having sex/hanging out almost everyday, she won't be my "girlfriend". help.

edit: posting from throwaway because she browses reddit when she's at my place

Soupertramp · 2013-03-12T18:56:31+00:00

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iamjacksdesign · 2013-03-12T20:05:02+00:00

I use r/seduction as a way to motivate myself into doing better things all around in my life, like school or work as well as meeting people. I'd be lying if I said I didn't have confidence issues when it came to women, but even so with guys in just interpersonal relationships. I tend to lack assertiveness and self-respect on occasion.

Recently I was clinically diagnosed as depressed, and I learned that I tried only to validate my existence through hanging out with friends and trying to get lucky with women. It's posts like yours and your track of validation (no routines, be honest with yourself, be forward and respectful, learn to say no) that have really helped me over the last few weeks so I just wanted to say thank you.

I'm not out of the depression yet, but I'm hoping to make some small progress daily with either friends or women, but mostly just to show myself that I can do what I set my mind to. Again, thank you for your posts and your attitude towards all of this. It's been refreshing and helpful to read.

tyomax · 2013-03-12T20:05:31+00:00

Hey, great work, I'm loving the responses so far. I'm wondering if people in gay relationships have access to coaches or is it strictly hetero relationships? Thanks!

Fumobix · 2013-03-12T20:22:12+00:00

What to do in first dates? Looking for a long term relationship not just to have sex, i dont know how much should i try to do with her at first one

turbophysics · 2013-03-12T20:31:17+00:00

I have an odd one for you. I'm currently an enlisted marine stationed about 1400 miles from home. I hook up often enough (given the male/female ratio) but no room for a relationship, however, my contract ends this november. Thing is, I'm only strongly attracted to girls from my area who share the same sort of cultural background. I take long periods of leave annually and meet/bang plenty of girls that I would love to date if it was possible at all. I really would like to have a relationship with this nice girl that I met and dated while on leave this last time BUT I'm not at all interested in a long distance relationship and neither is she. She is attracted to me, but how do I keep her attracted? How do I communicate my worth and all that trash? Any tips?

nedmccrady1588 · 2013-03-12T21:10:03+00:00

I've always been told that Im an attractive, nice, smart, and talented guy who works hard in school and has plenty of my own passions (Guitar, Biology, etc). I talk to lots of girls and put myself out there, but I still find it impossible to even come close to getting the girls of my choosing. What do i do/what is wrong with me?

koolaidman123 · 2013-03-12T22:12:53+00:00

Wanna give a huge props, your original post was super useful to me, I would definitely read more of your material.

Soupertramp · 2013-03-12T22:15:45+00:00

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Soupertramp · 2013-03-12T22:23:14+00:00

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Graphitetshirt · 2013-03-12T22:35:06+00:00

OK, since your original post is archived, Imma upvote this thing instead. Well done.

EminemMeetsMandM · 2013-03-13T00:40:58+00:00

Best way to get over an ex?

kae1234 · 2013-03-13T01:36:01+00:00

Hi, please help me out here:- •primary school friends reconnected after 12 years through Facebook •cute girl I want to ask her out •had her number through a whatsapp group they set up, but I still asked her permission to save her number •occasionally (3-4days) pm her through Facebook but asking only really trivial stuff •?????? help

I try not to write more than her reply but so far it has been a Q&A SESSION between me and her. Its been four years since my last relationship and I have not been actively reaching out to people afraid of rejection

vegantofu · 2013-03-13T02:34:42+00:00

recently got out of a 3 year relationship, i'm hesitant on jumping in another relationship. And im shy (major reason im hesitant) any tips on breaking from my shyness?

Dynasty2201 · 2013-03-13T10:37:22+00:00

Hi Soupertramp!

Thanks for taking the time do answer all our burning questions.

I have a quick if potentially complex question:

If you don't know a girl yet, either having met her a few times or haven't spoken a word to her yet, you're in a social situation and the 2 of you suddenly get left alone in the same room, what would you say to spark a fun conversation?

This is where I really fall flat.

I find it really awkward just sitting there, both of us "checking our phone". I wrack my brain for something FUN to ask her, once we're in the flow I'm usually fine, it's just that kick start.

The reason I flounder so much is because I don't want to just blurt out something random.

Like we're all watching TV and having drinks etc, then the guys go for a smoke, and it's just me and her, and I just ask her

"So, if a genie appeared and POOF, you could be anything, what would you be? And don't say princess."

Surely that's just...weird?

I just want to avoid the "interview" questions of what she does, where's she's from, how she knows everyone. Those things, I find, get dropped into conversation naturally in the future.

The only "fun" stuff I can think of seems to only apply once you've developed a bit of rapport or comfort with a woman.

Atlas26 · 2013-03-12T18:14:14+00:00

I've heard the guy should never say "I love you" first...what are your thoughts on this?

ThrowawayPUA · 2013-03-12T22:33:23+00:00

This AMA is was not scheduled by and is not officially sponsored by the Moderators of seddit. We prefer that people contact the mods before going ahead with an AMA, since it is discourteous to jump ahead of other AMAs that are already planned and upcoming.

sircrashalot · 2013-03-13T07:14:29+00:00

Ok. Now that you have the girl, how do you get rid of her?

cerebrum · 2013-03-12T18:49:02+00:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Sorry guys, but I had to laugh out loud for the patheticalness of this!!!

I went to your website and watched the video but I couldn't finish it. One word, lame!

Just another self-proclaimed guru trying to sell advice. $ 200 for one session? Btw, how long is one session? 1 hour?

Btw, I wouldn't normally comment on that but since you are marketing I have to say: sorry, but your girlfriend doesn't seem particularly attractive, I don't have much game but I've dated more beautiful women. If that is the quality of women you get I wouldn't pay for your advice.

If this sounds harsh, consider that I'm fed up with all the marketing going on in the "community".

Soupertramp · 2013-03-12T23:14:30+00:00

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enlightenedjerk · 2013-03-13T01:09:37+00:00

How do you treat them when they mindlessly talk like a fucking radio and then get pissed that you don't give enough of a shit to listen to them?

ecrazy · 2013-03-13T01:53:50+00:00

so people pay for advice, instead of going out and trying things on their own once they got a lady?

wow, so instead of going and trying to find a girl that fits you, you follow advice from someone who has a totally different girl that you have (not all ladies are the same you know) and that helps you?

I dunno fellas, to me that is all a part of life and living. The relationships, the differences, the jealousy, the arguments, the finding similar interests, learning what your significant other or new girlfriend likes and learning to like what they like. going through all of that and forming that bond with them is what it's all about and what hopefully leads to marriage or living with this person for the rest of your life.

Quit being such pussies and live and learn. make mistakes and learn from your mistakes. Then you will know what to look for in a long term girlfriend and when you find her it will be that much better.

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