I occasionally check this sub out because there's some good content here.
But recently I've seen a lot of "incelified" posts from men with a fixed mindset .. pointing to their supposed unattractiveness for the reason why their dating life isn't good.
I'm not saying that your level of objective attractiveness doesn't make a difference. Only an idiot would claim that.
But it's not the reason why most men don't have a fulfilling and fun dating life.
The real reason is anxiety and fear.
Unless you have a lot of direct experience of approaching women, speaking with them and flirting with them .. coming up with a bunch of statistics and logical arguments isn't helping you at all.
It's just digging your own grave and making you a bitter and resentful person .. which further exacerbates the problem because what woman wants to hang around with a bitter and resentful person?
And for those people who say "I'm just unattractive and that's why all of my dating issues exist"
Even your attractiveness is something you can change to a large extent by:
- Auditing your wardrobe and grooming.
- Committing to getting in better shape physically.
- Improving your posture and body language.
- Improving your vocal tonality and your communication patterns.
- Expanding your social circle or starting a meetup (contextual status increase).
- Clarifying a compelling vision for your life and working towards it independent of female validation (a woman is assessing your momentum and direction, not just your present circumstances).
- Doing shadow work so you can heal the root source of your neediness and approval seeking.
- Examining and challenging your self-limiting beliefs (like "I'm unattractive" etc)
These are just a few came up with off the dome. There are many more.
But overall my point is that if you genuinely want a fun and fulfilling dating life, you need to stop finding excuses for your lack of action or leave the subreddit.
If you aren't going to change, then just accept your circumstances and stop posting about it.
Own the fact that change is scary and uncomfortable. And do it anyway.
Hanging around on subreddits and creating resentful posts about modern dating and how unfair everything is, is a recipe for misery.
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