What makes you feel confident?

TheSphincterSphinx · 2021-04-03T10:44:38+00:00

For me it came when I realized I was good at cooking. I was 20 and had pretty low self esteem/self-view. I started throwing myself into work at a restaurant and found I loved it, the people around me supported me in my growth. As I progressed I noticed it had a knock-on effect in the rest of my life. I developed a true passion for food and cooking, when I would talk about it, people would comment about the way I spoke of it. This in-turn made me more confident in speaking in general and gave me something to be proud of.

I’m now 28 and as confident as I never thought I’d be. Cooking gave me a craft to focus on and having people constantly tell me I’ll do well in the food world really helped my confidence overall. It also helped that women love a man who can cook and have passions that they share. Which I’ve been told by many a woman.

Sue__Me__Then · 2021-04-03T14:10:50+00:00

Visualizations.

Visualizations, visualizations, visualizations. When I was starting to get into self-improvement, I felt I had nothing to be confident about. Then I read a book that said that I didn't need anything to be confident about.

If you haven't already learned about visualizations, here's a quick rundown. Your brain is incapable of distinguishing between reality and imagination. Thus it follows, that if you imagine a situation that would give you confidence, you will become confident.

I didn't do anything complex at first--the book I read recommended starting out by imagining being hugged by someone you trusted. Now, though, I have developed the ability to the point where I can visualize myself into a state of higher work ethic, or motivation to read, or improve, etc.

Also useful is body language--it affects your mind significantly. Read books on body language, practice confident body language throughout the day, and your mind will become more confident for it.

But really, I can't stress visualizations enough.

Viarco · 2021-04-03T13:59:03+00:00

The ability to shrug it off.

No matter how hard you fail, how hard you get rejected, how hard you get laughed at by strangers, in the end it all comes down to this: it was an isolate event that happened with unrelated people that you'll probably never see again. So, shrug it off and onto the next one.

If you're not a douchebag, it's their loss for rejecting you.

If you're dealing with people who get a kick out of rejecting others, it's not in your interest to deal with them either way.

If you can get your head up and move on with your day/night, this is a number's game. Racking those numbers gets you closer to success than sulking about the times that went wrong

AlwaysLearningWork · 2021-04-03T20:55:24+00:00

A few things. The fact that I have some interesting hobbies I'm really good at, and I'm really proud of. The fact that I, a pretty big introvert, learned to talk to new people and learned my way around women. Sometimes I think I'm confident because I'm confident, and I don't really know how to explain it.

In the beginning, I certainly wasn't confident. There are still days now when I'm not, or at least doubt myself a little. But slowly as I pushed myself more and more, and got better and better socially, each new 'victory' pushed my confidence up, which allowed me to attempt more bold things, which eventually succeeeded and made me more confident, rinse and repeat. Now, I've just accepted that I'm a confident person, because I have a lot to offer, and I'm pretty happy with where I am in life at the moment.

It's like the time I learned to do a backflip. At some point, I realized that as long as I kept my cool, and kept leaning back no matter, I'd always go all the way around. So basically, I knew that I was good enough to do a backflip, because I convinced myself to just lean back and do it every time, and yeah, never failed a backflip since.

Same with women I suppose. I know that no matter what happens, as long as I carry myself with integrity, some girls will be into me, and so I don't have to worry about acting a certain way. I can just be honest about who I am, and eventually someone bites? Which makes me more confident, since I know I can't fail (With an individual, sure, but overall, no).

Small steps my friend.

Joe_Doblow · 2021-04-03T16:33:35+00:00

Good haircut, good clothes, hot body from training, having lots of money and accomplishments, getting lots of positive attention and praise, doing what I said I was going to do, confident friends and being around confident people, security and feeling like everything will be ok, gaining deep progress on a big plan/project, success, being good at something(I imagine, I’m not good at anything)

buffrmikaplz · 2021-04-03T21:42:40+00:00

Reassuring myself that nobody truly cares about anything I do or say, so don’t be phased by anyone’s judgement.

Hrafnkol · 2021-04-04T02:18:43+00:00

A good part of your confidence should come from knowing that even if you don't meet your goal, you'll be alright. Too many people put too much emphasis on how much they just NEED to get a date or get laid, instead of living a lifestyle that they value. When you know that you're content with who you are, you can begin to invite someone else along for the ride - whether that means a roll in the hay or to sit shotgun in your lifeboat is up to you. As long as you think you need a date or sex to validate your confidence, you'll never have it.

sbdhebebdj · 2021-04-04T12:01:21+00:00

My facial structure and harmonious face. I have almost perfect equal thirds with a midface ratio of 1.02, an es ratio of 0.46 which is in the ideal range of 0.45-0.47. Theres not a day that goes by that i dont get positive attention from people or women in particular without me even trying. Its hard not to be confident when theres so much unconditional praising going on that i didnt do anything for, except studying the skull and face while in puberty and making sure i grow up as handsome as possible. Life to me at least is literally all about bones.

http://imgur.com/a/xxm5GhP

http://imgur.com/a/UUUFIxD

http://imgur.com/a/PIOcJmd

If your midface ratio is lower than 0.92 or over 1.12 you will never be treated as a human and will forever be repulsive to people. Nothing you do will ever change the instinctual biology that is hardwired in our brain for that.

Besides the face which is the single most important thing in your life in my opinion a good height and hair comes second but thats just a multiplier that becomes good as your face becomes better looking. If your below average facially your height makes no difference, 0 times 0 is still 0.

Lastly you need a skull bigger than 58cm, if its smaller than that you will never be intimidating enough on a biological level, ever, especially if you are tall.

kettlebell_workout · 2021-04-03T10:15:56+00:00

Don't get it.

How can you feel confident if you are building confidence...

Fufflewaffle · 2021-04-03T11:45:39+00:00

It comes and goes for me. But often, talking to random people in the street and sharing a laugh, often with older people, makes me feel really confident. I have no idea why. It's such a natural reassurance. Try to talk to people in the street about random things, even if it's just a sentence. It might work for you too.

Substantial_Smell_72 · 2021-04-03T14:14:10+00:00

Learning to Skateboard has made me more confident! It’s like having a super power other people don’t. Plus I have made a few friends and bunch of acquaintance at skateparks. Not to mention some of the most cool and sexy girls are always at the major parks.

pyrotechnic-looter · 2021-04-03T14:17:16+00:00

Good topic. My confidence level has never been healthy. Wish It were not so.

PhotosyntheticHuman · 2021-04-03T18:51:10+00:00

Right now I think it's whenever I manage to dress even semi well. Usually I am just a "t shirt and jeans" guy. The suit I wore to my sister's graduation had me feeling like a million bucks. I figure once I am back in better shape that will help a lot too. These are all appearance based but that's what makes me confident because that influences how people see you.

Before anyone starts talking about personality... everything related to my personality is just normal to me, so there isn't anything in particular to draw confidence from. I can be funny, but that's because I like to make people laugh. I have been called intelligent but I like to learn. I can hold a decent conversation but I do that because I want to talk to people. These are things I do for my own sake so it doesn't matter if other people think so or not.

My appearance is something external so it is relative to how other others see it (i.e. good/bad looking, dressed well/poorly). My personality is more so internal and it is based on what I want to do. That's why I think dressing well and being in better shape gives me confidence; it affects how other see me in a way I care about.

monked80 · 2021-04-03T21:42:17+00:00

Nothing

imhallucading · 2021-04-03T21:59:53+00:00

Consistency

rollcage846 · 2021-04-03T22:00:57+00:00

A fresh haircut

BatchNormalizer · 2021-04-04T02:02:59+00:00

One thing I've noticed that helps me to be more confident is to speak at the deepest vocal register I can (without exaggerating it too much, obviously). Eventually, I'm able to maintain that deeper voice, and I've noticed it has an affect on me as well as other people; I feel more authoritative, more manly, more in control, more tonal neutrality/less supplication in tone, and I think others sense this as well, along with taking me a bit more seriously due to that deep register. I've had customers at my job thank me much more sincerely when I speak this way, as if I'm doing them a big favor by giving them directions or whatever.

Also, I've found it helps me make conversation more easily--I'm able to feel less pressure and connect more easily, and the tonal neutrality I evoke in my deeper voice allows me to come across as more sincere/not needy. I still have a long way to go as far as conversational skill and social intelligence, along with thinking on my feet and being more present--I still struggle to recognize shit tests and to react wittily without going kind of blank, but over all I've found this technique helps me a lot to feel bigger and more confident.

letsgetlit2019 · 2021-04-04T12:06:18+00:00

Knowing that I can cook my own food and survive if it gets to it.

Money, aka the ability to pay my Bills.

When I wear something, and I know for a fact that I look good.

When I'm in a situation that I've been in before.

Knowing that I can win a fight. (Because I have before).

Knowing that if I can't win a fight, I always have the option to run away swiftly. (I do cardio).

Knowing tha I'm constantly improving, and soon I'll be even more confident.

And other things of that nature. Oh, and regularly bathing in the blood of my enemies and the tears of my haters.

mamarre420 · 2021-04-06T22:08:52+00:00

3 things: a good posture, a long conversation with somebody and a good body lenguage

Title	What makes you feel confident?
Author	SocialReject101
Upvotes	39
Comments	43
Date	April 3, 2021 10:04 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/mj5o7i/what_makes_you_feel_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-makes-you-feel-confident.1512048 https://theredarchive.com/post/1512048

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