What’s the best way to react when a lady friendzoned you a on date?

Substantial-Bad-4508 · 2025-07-06T13:45:38+00:00

If you treat a person like a friend, they'll in return treat you like a friend. However, if you treat them like a potential lover, they may also in return treat you like a lover.

In other words, communicate with intent.

cjunc2013 · 2025-07-06T17:08:59+00:00

Say cool, got plenty of friends, nice to meet you. Then delete number and phone exit

jamesfalken · 2025-07-06T13:47:00+00:00

Never happened to me but if it does obviously you end the date quickly and move on from this girl

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-06T16:48:15+00:00

If she says i thought we were going out as friends is because you clearly were not acting in a way taht was clear you were hitting on her from the beggining.

You were acting like a buddy, not like a guy who is clearly showing sexual desire for her. So this is not about you do after she says that, because it really doesn't matter because it won't change anything at that point. This is about what you are doing before you ask a woman out.

You are assuming that asking a woman out is something she should immediately assume on it's own that it's a date. But if your behaviour is not exactly sexual/romantic, and instead it's friendly, safe, and platonic then she will get the vibe that it's just a hangout, not a date.

You need to make women feel desired. Right now you are probably just making it all about friendship because you avoid showing sexual interest at all costs.

chamcham123 · 2025-07-06T17:35:40+00:00

It could be a test. Just tell her you’re not there to just be platonic friends.

jrobohn66 · 2025-07-06T16:57:09+00:00

Leave

keptit2real · 2025-07-06T17:52:11+00:00

You say "Oh, I guess iu was giving off the wrong impression, I'm not interested in friendship with you, then say goodbye and leave." Don't wait for another response.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-07-06T15:26:38+00:00

When that happens I react exactly like a brick wall does

Big_Accountant8489 · 2025-07-06T17:07:52+00:00

Depends on how she friendzoned you. Some times they do it to test your reaction even though they may be interested in you also. In this case you just have to learn how to overcome it and show her you don’t easily give in.

Now other times it could be a legit friendzone. In that case, play it cool and keep it moving.

You gotta learn how to decipher between the two and act accordingly. That part is a skill

hunterpua · 2025-07-06T17:44:41+00:00

I wish it did happen to me.

Hear me out. When I started in 2009, I was so socially awkward that women didn't even want to be friends with me.

It took 2 years of approaching regularly before I lost my virginity.

Immediately after I got through that hurdle it wasn't exactly full speed ahead, it was either I get intimate with a woman once every few months or they'd just reject me and dissappear.

I never had the middle ground of being friendzoned and getting a new woman in my life until a couple more years after that, when I really got good at this.

But by that time, I was the one doing the friendzoning because the women I flirted with wanted to be with me romantically.

The reason I wanted to be friendzoned and wanted female friends in my life was because I was lucky enough to recognise the value of female friends early on in my time learning seduction.

I knew they would be a fun energy to add to my life, help me understand women better, and open opportunities to me, some of which aren't even possible through dating apps or cold approach.

Last month I shared about how I cold approached a photographer who's friends were all models. We went on an instant date and ended up spending the whole day together. As in we met at noon and went our separate ways after the sun already went down.

I could have easily went home with her that night but I made the conscious decision to friendzone her because we had met up with her friend earlier in the day and that's how I found out all her friends were female models.

And if I hadn't done that, I might not have gotten to the next level that I talk about in the link I'm sharing here.

Long story short, I became really good friends with those models, and they introduced me to more women than I can handle.

So if I were you, I would take advantage of a woman friendzoning you and really, genuinely, come to terms with never ever becoming more than friends with her and trying to be a damn good friend.

And if you click on the link in this comment, which just leads to another comment here on reddit, you will see what can come out of doing that.

You need to have next level abundance mentality, beyond even the abundance mentality of the best person you know with women, and you have to have your ego seriously in check to pull it off, but if you do, giving up on becoming intimate with one girl could open you up to exponentially more women.

I said it in the comment in the link, I'll say it here:

There were 12 model in that group of friends. If I had tried to seduce them, the best case scenario would be I'd get to sleep with 12 models. But because I friendzoned them, they have helped me sleep with hundreds of women while I essentially just hung out with them every week.

klippklar · 2025-07-07T00:57:55+00:00

Tell her you've known people for half your life whom you still wouldn't call friends, so what makes her think she's so special? Then split the bill.

Cavsfan724 · 2025-07-07T01:48:57+00:00

Just be cool about it and finish the date. Then move on.

stormynight27 · 2025-07-07T02:20:25+00:00

Just leave.

maybe_in_my_butt · 2025-07-07T03:01:45+00:00

You don't. Move on.

Obviouslynameless · 2025-07-06T17:15:24+00:00

As others have said, they will match your energy. If your energy is "friend" that is all you will get.

However, what im not seeing is another type that will go on a date with you and deliberately misinterpret it as friends going out. They do this for the attention or free meal.

Only you can decide which it is. If it's the latter, I will usually tell them something like "I have enough friends we can split the check before I leave." If it's the former, I will be nicer and say "at this time im looking for a romantic relationship."

Either way, I'm probably not going to engage or interact with them.

Matter_Still · 2025-07-06T20:00:11+00:00

Yep. Typically, I would consider that game, set, and match. One woman changed that. We met in the lobby of a hotel in Chicago when our flight was cancelled. We both were from NYC.

We shared a slice of cheesecake. I upped the ante and said, “What you think about doing something more exciting when we get home.” (I meant a dinner cruise on the Bateaux.) She said, “Would you be o.k. if it were just as friends?” I laughed and said, “We’re friends already? This is moving way to fast.”

Then, I said, “Of course, I would be o.k. with that. I’m tired of ‘soup for one’. Most of my friends have left, others are married. I pass up doing a lot of things I want to do because going solo gets old. And here’s the thing: it’s a fact of life, women think guys are more attractive if they are with another beautiful woman. If you don’t mind me using you as ‘bait’, then let’s get the paperwork started.”

We first went to dinner, than an NFL game, museums, parks, and shows. This went on for longer than I like to admit but the night came when our parting kiss was much, much more than a peck on the cheek. It was “game on”.

I had been a shoulder to cry on, an advice columnist, and fake boyfriend to make some other guy jealous. The ruse became real. I think my being O.K. with a friend was the only way I would have eventually won her over. I could call her “clueless”, “sick”, and even a “slut” and get a laugh out of her. I could say, “How do you not see how gorgeous you are?” without it being a line. I once joked, “If you really hit bottom and become one of those bag ladies pushing shopping carts of string around, there’s always me.”

As a friend, very little was off the table. After a breakup: “I think you need a boob job.”

It worked big time for me. Eventually we married. To me, agreeing to be friends was a show of character and strength. The subtext was, “Why not? I have other options?” And I did. I just never found one so appealing.

dobbs1997 · 2025-07-06T20:55:27+00:00

If a girl tells you “I thought we were going out as friends” that’s saying something about your lack of communication, if you want a romantic intimate vibe with this woman then you gotta make that clear before going out so she doesn’t get the wrong idea

diavolo671 · 2025-07-06T23:00:47+00:00

Say ok and be polite , tell her you’re leaving and move on

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-07-07T19:59:49+00:00

Accept her decision and learn from your experiences. Also keep in mind the other person on a date may not view the date with the same enthusiasm or sense the same vibes as you. It has to be a mutual decision to move forward.

Ok_Play4544 · 2025-07-07T20:42:46+00:00

Gentleman, lady not even Frank Sinatra talked like that!!

It looks like you Friendzone yourself!

Kronuk · 2025-07-06T17:32:48+00:00

No I’ve never been in a friendzone whatever that means. I’m not trying to be friends with girls and hang out like buddies if they don’t want to date. I’ll tell her that straight to her face if she pulls some disrespect like that on me and my time that was wasted taking her out.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-06T16:11:41+00:00

If she says i thought we were going out as friends is because you clearly were not acting in a way taht was clear you were hitting on her from the beggining. You were acting like a buddy mot lie a guy who is clearly showing sexual desire for her. So this is not about you do after she says that, because it really doesn't matter because it won't change anything at that point. This is about what you are doing before you ask a woman out. You are assuming that asking a woman out is something she should immediately assume on it's own that it's a date. But if your behaviour is not exactly sexual/romantic, and instead it's friendly, safe, and platonic then she will get the vibe that it's just a hangout, not a date. You need to make women feel desired. Right now you are probably just making it all about friendship because you avoid showing sexual interest at all costs.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-07-06T16:35:23+00:00

If she says i thought we were going out as friends is because you clearly were not acting in a way taht was clear you were hitting on her from the beggining.

You were acting like a buddy, not like a guy who is clearly showing sexual desire for her. So this is not about you do after she says that, because it really doesn't matter because it won't change anything at that point. This is about what you are doing before you ask a woman out.

You are assuming that asking a woman out is something she should immediately assume on it's own that it's a date. But if your behaviour is not exactly sexual/romantic, and instead it's friendly, safe, and platonic then she will get the vibe that it's just a hangout, not a date.

You need to make women feel desired. Right now you are probably just making it all about friendship because you avoid showing sexual interest at all costs.

Vinniikii · 2025-07-06T14:13:48+00:00

This is your fault, you are not being clear with your intentions. At worst, she should tell you about friendship when you ask on date. If you are ambiguous, soft, uncertain, enough that she gets into the free meal and only when the check is paid explains you are actually only friends: that is your fault.

bafun13 · 2025-07-06T13:42:45+00:00

Damn man reflect on yourself and stop being what you are

Change comes from within

Potential-Bee-724 · 2025-07-06T16:59:59+00:00

I have been told, “you are a nice guy” and friend zoned on first dates. Most of the time I had no interest and wasn’t attracted enough to want to date them either so it was a relief. Three different times I said with no emotion, just a statement of fact while looking straight through her and into her soul, “I’m not a nice guy, you’re just a bitch”.

It got the same reaction every time. They had a look of shock, mouth open, deep breath, eyes wide, then they bit their lip and tried to look away but kept eye contact, then looked down. When they looked back up, it was a different woman. The whole dynamic shifted and they then chased. I felt powerful and desired and that made them drawn in.

Before that I could feel my energy was weak and submissive, I was subconsciously begging her to like me and be attracted but I was repelling her. All three of these women were way out my league as far as looks. I’m not tall, particularly handsome and don’t come from money at all.

Title	What’s the best way to react when a lady friendzoned you a on date?
Author	Dry-Set-6761
Upvotes	26
Comments	37
Date	July 6, 2025 1:37 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lt1gip/whats_the_best_way_to_react_when_a_lady/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/whats-the-best-way-to-react-when-a-lady.1556453 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556453

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