Red Handed

Kindly-Night8563 · 2024-09-23T15:37:51+00:00

The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. but at the same time evidence of absence is the absence of evidence. It could be in your head.

Par_then_Bar · 2024-09-21T12:56:25+00:00

Phone records. Hire a PI

CopperTylenol · 2024-09-21T01:27:59+00:00

Does she have Snap chat? That seems to be the cheating app. The messages disappear, unless you save them. You could see her snap score, that shows how active she is on it, and you could see the person she messages the most frequently. I’m a newb. Maybe this is all well known to others. My kids have explained it to me

Least_Winter9632 · 2024-09-20T22:39:26+00:00

If you’re in an “at-fault” state it could be huge for you to have evidence. Adultery is always on that list.

I used an automatic voice recorder. Also, your cell phone provider may have text logs. I had AT&T and that’s how I initially discovered it but she denied denied. Once I had the audio where she was admitting it to her mom that was it.

Be careful though, it’s not legal in all states to record a conversation without their knowledge. So check that out.

TXJohn83 · 2024-09-20T22:27:56+00:00

Still married and not in Court yet? Spend flowers to her job and gauge the response.

suspicious_bag_1000 · 2024-09-20T20:52:08+00:00

How can all the signs be there but zero evidence? Evidence is the sign. Don’t be a jealous stereotype and start stalking etc. If you don’t trust her, then leave, but don’t be a creeper

CulturedGentleman921 · 2024-09-20T20:45:21+00:00

Order a Voice Activated Recorder off of Amazon. Get a Sony. You want high quality.

Get some industrial strength velcro.

Put electrical tape over the displays and lights of the VAR.

Purchase some cheap corded headphones and plug them into the headphone jack and snip the headphone wire right next to the plug.

Use the industrial strength velcro to fasten it underneath her driver's seat of her car.

People talk to their affair partners in the car. Women talk to their friends about the plans they've made with the affair partners in the car.

You use the electrical tape to block off any light given off by the VAR as it's underneath the seat. You use the headphone plug to silence any noises it makes. If you get a good VAR, you should be able to control the noises it makes via a menu item on it. Otherwise do the headphone thing.

Get 2 cheap burner Android phones and install Life 360 on them. Keep one in the trunk of her car and the other charging. You can get a GPS tracker off of amazon too and put it in her trunk as well. This shows her location. If you text her and ask where she is and she texts back "Debra's house" you can immediately switch to the app and see that she's at the Hilton hotel. You can use screen recording software to capture this so she can't say it was doctored (but she will probably say that anyway). Swap out the phones to keep a freshly charged one in her trunk at all times.

Buy spy cameras off of amazon or a site that sells sneaky stuff.

You want to sit your wife down and record her and ask her these questions. Here's the script:

"Honey, I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and doing a personal inventory on my life. I really want to be the best husband and partner I can be to you moving forward. So in order to do that I have some serious questions for you and I want some serious answers:

Do you think I have abused you in any way?

(wait for answer)

Do you think I have cheated on you or am cheating on you?

(wait for the answer)"

If she asks why you're asking the questions just continue to gaslight her and tell her it's important to you that she feel secure and safe in your marriage and get her to explicitly say on the recording that you have not abused her and she doesn't think you're a cheater.

The reason you do this is because any cheater, when going through a divorce, will try to save face with friends and family by accusing you of abuse or of cheating on them. "He/She abused and neglected me and forced me into the arms of another!"

You now have taken that ammo out of their gun.

The key in any divorce is controlling the narrative. You do that with evidence. The more evidence you have of her cheating the more control you have of your perception by friends and family.

The spy cameras are for the second gambit cheaters pull. False D0mest!c V!0lence claims. If you are constantly recording your interactions, she can't hit herself in the face and claim you did it.

The most expedient solution is to hire a PI. to get your cheating evidence. It costs money but it could be the best money you ever spent, especially in an at fault state.

Once you decide to divorce her, the ONLY REVENGE you can have is to have her slapped in the chest with divorce papers while she's at work. It's majorly embarrassing for them. The second best is to have it done at a family event like Thanksgiving after you show everyone a nice slide show of her cheating.

FINALLY, GO TO A LAWYER NOW. THEY WILL GIVE YOU INFO ON HOW TO PROCEED. DO EVERYTHING YOUR LAWYER SAYS TO DO. NO MORE, NO LESS. IGNORE ALL REDDIT ADVICE (EXCEPT TO GET A LAWYER AND DO EVERYTHING HE SAYS).

GOOD LUCK. YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS!

Puzzleheaded_Fun4421 · 2024-09-20T20:40:36+00:00

Just tell her your done and more than likely she will come up with some sob story saying your right I think we need some time. I just posted about my situation a hour ago. GO WITH YOUR GUT PLEASE!!!!!

Bretweir_jerky · 2024-09-20T20:21:46+00:00

Yes, what Royal_tie said. Even if you have evidence it doesn’t matter. Plus, by you not having the evidence you can catch her off guard and be at the starting line or at least only a few steps behind. They’re sneaky, and it’s what they do. Don’t be surprised when you spring it that she was already planning herself. The best tip you’ll get is that she will be in the fog of the new guy so get the custody kicked in first

Royal_Tie_5041 · 2024-09-20T20:11:52+00:00

Just start the divorce process. Nothing to legally gain from getting “evidence “ of an affair.

Title	Red Handed
Author	Actingaccordingly007
Upvotes	12
Comments	22
Date	September 20, 2024 8:03 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fll673/red_handed/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/red-handed.1530826 https://theredarchive.com/post/1530826

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