Thoughts on the queer community being saturated with kink and poly?

Astral_weaver · 2021-10-26T03:09:40+00:00

To begin with, I hate it, as much as I hate all the self-destructive behaviors that are prevalent in queer spaces.

Yes, all those things were a "counter cultural" stance 3-4 decades ago. They made sense in that cultural context. They were not beneficial , nor really revolutionary though. And now they just feel like re-iterations of the dominant heteronormative culture, just with more glitter.

cinequefoils · 2021-10-26T02:08:56+00:00

I absolutely think that the Gay community has become “you must be like this” and it’s frustrating to me! I would love to date a woman, I have in the past, but it’s impossible to find a monogamous woman thats not interested in some sort of kink dynamic. A few of my gay friends are poly and I just don’t understand it, it brings them more drama and heartache than it does joy and love like they claim.

Japanese_Lasagna · 2021-10-26T02:06:34+00:00

I think that’s pretty much it. Plus, a lot of the culture has been defined by men, and well, you put two men together, you’re more likely to get casual sex and often and in more alternative ways.

BooksandEarlGreyTea · 2021-10-26T10:13:04+00:00

Didn't a lot of S&M culture historically start out in the gay, leather scene?

Muffcakelord · 2021-10-26T06:47:46+00:00

Being a woman is anti queer community ffs. Lesbians for example have been bullied harshly at all times, even now, because they're not men and men dominate wheverer they so well please through the means of crying and threathening violence. This makes it no wonder why "kinksters" also dominate the queer community.

Being a misfit in the queer community basically means being a woman or being anti patriarchy. It's the abnormal yet logical stance to have given how queer people gain less by kissing the boot of the current status quo (the patriarchy). Don't feel weird about this, be very proud that you're holding the beliefs that best benefits your community

TikiTikiTata-chalala · 2021-10-26T02:15:12+00:00

I think kink and poly's hyperfocus in the gay community has taken the love out of it. Or at least lost the focus that love is love and people shouldn't be denied rights based on who they love. And that that love is no less than a het relationship, and it's not harmful for children to see.

However it is never anyone's right to hurt someone they claim to love just cause it gets them off. And it IS HARMFUL TO CHILDREN to see a bunch of naked latex people parading with pride calling kink love. Suddenly the love is gone and it's compartmentalized away -children should know about kink, NO THEY FUCKING SHOULD NOT. How is teaching children that it's ok to hit people if you like it good? 🤦‍♀️

*Edit to add: kink has never been about legal rights and always been about public shame

Newwavesupport3657 · 2021-10-26T07:49:35+00:00

It’s all centered around dick that’s why.

Conturas · 2021-10-27T07:12:22+00:00

How to avoid: Find lesbian/bisexual (not queer) communities formed around specific interest you share.

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-10-26T09:22:55+00:00

They see being gay/same-sex attracted as either a kink or a fandom you can opt in and out of at will. The subtext is that the kink/poly/MOGAI invaders don't see same-sex attraction as normal and instead see the gay community as "this is where my fellow degenerates are." It is incredibly regressive and homophobic.

LadyWizzard · 2021-10-26T17:05:24+00:00

That's because the q*eer community is made of primarily het attracted and het partnered people who bring all of their male-centric misogynistic sexuality issues along with them. lf you want to meet normal women you have to go underground where the lesbians are. But the thing is we will most likely stay away from you because using the q slur is a red flag.

shedipity · 2021-10-26T02:07:20+00:00

What type of spaces? If they’re into kinky and poly stuff then you really don’t want to be involved with them, right? As long as you and those around you accept you for who you are, that’s all that matters isn’t it?

43rdaccount · 2021-10-28T04:26:18+00:00

imo its related to the commodification of sexuality and gayness. imagine the marketing intern in a presentation room in the HQ high rise pitching to the board members: LGBTQ opens up a whole new market!

it's profitable for capitalism to have a group that distinguishes itself. if our way of life needs to be a certain way, then it can also create new needs, and new "solutions" to those needs.

the idea of a gay "community" is pretty new, and not a necessary development imo. we dont have enough things in common to unite us in any significant way, historically and currently and that will also be the case in the future.

you can be gay without a "culture", and we have always been gay without a culture

AutoModerator · 2021-10-26T01:56:58+00:00

[1] - We Just Launched a Website: wwww.TheFemaleDatingStrategy.com. Click here for registration information. Please also join our Twitter and Instagram Pages for updates!
[2] - Please read the FDS Handbook and Wiki before commenting. Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.
[3] - Please REPORT any comments that do not follow the sub rules. If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.
[4] - PLEASE REMOVE ALL PERSONAL IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION from images (Name, Location, Job description, education, phone number, etc). Failure to remove ID info will result in a 1-2 day ban. Repeated failures will result in a permanent ban.
[5] - This sub is FEMALE ONLY. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!! Please DOWNVOTE and REPORT immediately.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title	Thoughts on the queer community being saturated with kink and poly?
Author	Fun_Sherbet
Upvotes	459
Comments	31
Date	October 26, 2021 1:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qfw00e/thoughts_on_the_queer_community_being_saturated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/thoughts-on-the-queer-community-being-saturated.1081804 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081804

Comments