Make Rejection Fun

EchoZeroEleven · 2017-12-01T04:35:31+00:00

I appreciate the point you're making and I agree that "accumulating" rejections while also striving to take rejection less personally can go a long way towards reducing the fear of, and sensitivity to, rejections.

That said, based on your tone here and some of your replies in this thread, I'm getting a vibe that I see a lot in this type of advice; it's this idea that rejection shouldn't hurt, and is almost a "shaming" of men who are afraid of, and sensitive to, rejection, as if being so makes them lesser men and undeserving of relationships. I think this sentiment is pretty damaging and causes some guys to oppose otherwise-good advice.

Maybe there is a small number of guys out there to whom any rejection is absolutely nothing, but I think for most guys, it hurts. Most rejections might not hurt, but most men do deal with several rejections that do hurt. It's an emotional reaction -- you can't think your way out of it.

So, yes, while we should be saying that rejection really isn't a big deal and not to take it personally, because it usually genuinely isn't personal, and happens for a million different reasons that aren't even remotely related to you -- while we should be saying that, we should also be saying that despite all of this, sometimes it is going to fucking hurt, and you might be afraid of it. And that's ok.

The most important thing is that you pick yourself back up, and keep trying.

Just my take.

GinSmokeLies · 2017-11-30T15:46:36+00:00

Back when he was single, my husband's best friend, Steve (who I feel like I've told several stories about here already) was the epitome of what you're describing. Hitting on girls was a hilarious game to him. More often than not he got rejected, sometimes in loud, embarrassing ways. He thought it was funny; in fact, I think he kind of reveled in being the creepy weirdo of our group. He was 100% shameless.

He did the Barney from HIMYM thing where he would tell girls ridiculous stories just to see if they would believe him and see how far he could go with it. My personal favorite was when he told a girl he was rich because his dad invented the McGriddle, and when she rolled her eyes and told him to go away, he said "Girl, you just turned down free McGriddles for life!"

Eastuss · 2017-11-30T15:34:24+00:00

Hey just stop being sad when you're rejected, you loose nothing by being reject and you're too stupid to realize that yourself. I make a pointless post and this is not linked to PPD

notworthmuch20xx · 2017-11-30T16:32:02+00:00

jus bee confiden bro, jus bee ur self

blackedoutfast · 2017-11-30T17:30:30+00:00

agree 100%

getting a "no" is a good thing. "no" means you did what you could do, you didn't hold back unnecessarily, and now you can move on to the next one.

the biggest difference between guys who do well with women and guys who have terrible love lives is NOT that the guys who do well never get rejected. everyone gets rejected sometimes.

a lot of guys screw up by investing too much time/effort/emotion into a losing battle. avoiding rejection leads them to waste a huge amount of time slowly trying to win over a girl, and frequently they end up getting rejected anyway. or worse being stuck in the friendzone because they weren't honest and direct about their true intentions. and then that guy gets all depressed and has an even less attractive attitude and usually ends up wasting even more of his life the next time he avoids rejection.

dudes who do well with women don't get "yes" 100% of the time, they just know to not invest too much into any particular interaction. they know rejection isn't a big deal and getting rejected doesn't have a huge negative effect in their attitude, which actually makes them more attractive.

if you want to have love in your life, you can't completely escape the pain of rejection. it's just a part of life. but you can minimize the pain. rejection is exponentially more painful when you invested a lot in avoiding it. if you get rejected by some girl who you literally just met, it's honestly not a bih deal.

don't avoid "no," instead try to get the "no" as quickly as possible.

you can't control attraction. you can do things (get in shape, dress well, have a good attitude, etc) that will improve your odds, but when it gets down to it some girls simply won't be attracted to you no matter what you do. and slowly pursuing a girl over a long period of time while intentionally obscufating your intentions definitely does not make girls more attracted to you. if she doesn't feel it, she doesn't feel it. but it's no big deal. there are literally billions of other women out there.

face your fear. try to get a quick "no." embrace rejection.

Mr_Smoogs · 2017-11-30T15:28:58+00:00

Being rejected for your identity as a person is literally a personal deal. Despite the veracity of your claims, that is just how it is. You need to stop letting rejection of your identity negatively affect your willingness and outcomes of future approaches.

Furthermore, many women go nuclear when you approach or ask them out.

------__------------ · 2017-11-30T16:14:59+00:00

50% of the time approaching is a fun game 50% of the time approaching is a serious threat to women's safety and well being akin to waking around in a warzone. Tbp never change

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DarkLord0chinChin · 2017-11-30T16:25:22+00:00

make rejection fun

squidracer · 2017-11-30T21:22:58+00:00

I don't like rejection. Let women ask men out

ConnorGracie · 2017-12-01T04:52:58+00:00

It'll get personal when they accuse you of something or tell people you know.

notevenathrowaway456 · 2017-11-30T18:16:42+00:00

https://www.forbes.com/sites/nicolefisher/2015/12/25/rejection-and-physical-pain-are-the-same-to-your-brain/

GermanEgo · 2017-11-30T18:17:08+00:00

Revenge and spite can be a lot of fun in their own right, especially long term stuff

What happens after the rejection isnt really important, do whatever makes you feel better, you have already been rejected so its all just freedom now

Afroaway002 · 2017-11-30T20:25:07+00:00

Expressing interest means being vulnerable and being vulnerable is never "fun".

Honestly, you can only make a game out of it if you actually believe it's possible to win.

celincelin · 2017-12-01T09:00:08+00:00

Mention lifting, and you could have 1000 upvotes on TRP for this nonsense.

I don't know why optimistic circle jerk is considered such a good thing.

Title	Make Rejection Fun
Author	EchoZeroEleven
Upvotes	6
Comments	101
Date	November 30, 2017 3:08 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7gmxxy/make_rejection_fun/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/make-rejection-fun.264659 https://theredarchive.com/post/264659

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