Are You Experienced

longacidrain · 2018-12-15T16:07:05+00:00

Yeah I mean yeah. I dated shitbags when I hated myself.

HammockSwingin · 2018-12-15T17:00:04+00:00

I don't think standards change, but people become more aware of their standards over time with experience.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2018-12-15T16:30:28+00:00

i dont understand the question

SAC-Lawn_Gnome · 2018-12-15T15:40:59+00:00

Are you asking if people experience personal growth? I'd imagine most do, lol

lefactorybebe · 2018-12-15T16:28:44+00:00

Not for the most part. I've always looked for pretty much the same thing, but some things have changed with experience. Like I dated an alcoholic for a while (the alcoholism didn't happen until after we'd been together for a while), and after that I'm just not willing to date an alcoholic/addict again. But for the most part my preferences have stayed the same.

KikiYuyu · 2018-12-15T15:59:42+00:00

My openness changes for either sex based on my mental state, which I think is pretty normal lol. My attraction is mostly the same, but my appreciation for certain things has deepened as I've matured as a person.

sadomasochrist · 2018-12-15T16:13:01+00:00

Not sure if your title matches your body.

Title : Yes.

Body : Yes, but in a different way. My standards for women actually went down. Blue pill men look at women like friends, they're looking for shared interests, political affiliations etc.

Now the only standard is fucks me proper. Being a dickhead is a lot easier and being blue pilled was a self imposed prison.

Workaholico · 2018-12-15T20:05:27+00:00

Yes. Basic stoicism. Whatabout it?

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2018-12-15T20:06:43+00:00

Physiologymatters · 2018-12-15T20:15:27+00:00

My feelings towards self went through some major fluctuations between, say, 14-24.. trying to balance native culture vs new culture, disordered eating, overcoming fear of failure, shit like that. So my relationship with myself and standards for myself changed a lot, but I don't think my standards for dating/relationships did.. what definitely did change was my ability to recognize the qualities I wanted as well as my ability to actually be a partner who lived up to the standards of the caliber of partners that I wanted

I think a huge part of this was due to my parents- they weren't perfect and left me with some baggage to work through, but they invested their love, time, effort, knowledge, and money in me which probably made a huge difference to my growth and adult self

OfSpock · 2018-12-15T23:59:13+00:00

I've said before that I dated (not had sex with) men to whom I wasn't attracted to because of the cultural narrative that you can learn to love someone.

verticordia · 2018-12-16T01:47:09+00:00

Yes. I'm not a robot like some people in the pillosphere and my desires weren't static since I was a child. When I was very unhappy and going through a lot of psychological trauma and had an excess of masculine energy, I would exclusively go for men who didn't want me. But I'd like, purposely drive them away. I still have issues to unpack there, but now my standards aren't just "is he cute and exciting and gives me a reason to write shitty romantic journal entries" but more like "does he like me?" which a lot of women seem to forget to ask themselves. I refuse to chase after men now, and it's made me a lot happier. I've had a really shitty year, a miscarriage, two totaled cars, if you believe in things of more spiritual nature I've been dealing with a lot of karmic debt, but it's like I'm at complete peace. So my standards raised in certain areas but I stopped caring about shit like excitement.

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-12-15T16:15:12+00:00

I'm at the point where I'm happy enough with everything else that I'd rather hang out with my bros and get the easy lays as they come than be in a meh relationship

Most women aren't worth the time. Even if you dont pay you always pay with time

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diffdedbed · 2018-12-15T17:41:53+00:00

When I'm feeling down I have a lot less game, but my tastes don't change. When I was fat, and clueless I was trying for the same quality of women as when I got fit and had some game. Its the reason I got fit because I'm not deluded.

blackedoutfast · 2018-12-15T19:11:25+00:00

my standards have gone up over time.

HostileErectile · 2018-12-15T19:20:54+00:00

Yes, i have had issues with validation, where I basically slept with everything (above 5/10s) and I've had periods where I don't have the interest when I feel fulfilled and validated. In those periods I'm much more picky and don't have the need to sleep around a lot so yes... my standards rise hugely.

I think in general my standards though have risen, but my taste change also.

For the last 2 years time I have been very attracted to thic fitness chicks.

But where my standards and my preference change the most is in what I what in a girlfriend besides aesthetics. When I was a teenager i just wanted a hot chick now I want her to have specific qualities as well.

Like a specific sex drive and specific nature.

couldbemage · 2018-12-16T03:10:22+00:00

Nope. I've only ever had standards for how partners treat me, and those have been fairly static.

Gravel_Roads · 2018-12-16T08:37:21+00:00

Bisexual man, so I'm pretty "open" to either sex.

I guess my desires change based on what I'm in the mood for (or what I've recently become bored with). Like... if I've been really into dudes for a while, I get saturated on the male body, and I will probably be more excited by a female body the next week just for novelty's sake.

And that's just talking about base attraction from my lizard hindbrain. I still always prefer my bf, just because he's both familiar and very healthy and supportive, so I get the emotional "mood boost" on top of the the sexual one when we're together.

GradualDecomp · 2018-12-16T20:23:38+00:00

Certainly. There have been some qualities that I didn't consider a big deal until I dated people with/without said qualities and realized through experience how important it is for me to be with someone who has/doesn't have those qualities.

Title	Are You Experienced
Author	peterlongc
Upvotes	2
Comments	81
Date	December 15, 2018 3:32 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/a6g0zd/are_you_experienced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-you-experienced.258537 https://theredarchive.com/post/258537

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