Compassion vs attraction

UnitedIntroduction48 · 2022-01-19T15:43:26+00:00

Do you think the world would be a better place if

The world is fine the way it is

I want a sad girl

I wish a girls attraction was born outta compassion

You think you would like a sad girl but you don’t. They come with all sorts of issues and add problems on top of the stuff you’re dealing with in your own life. People with unresolved mental issues get into shitty relationships

januaryphilosopher · 2022-01-19T17:08:40+00:00

As in, if people were into others because they felt sorry for them? No, not really. I prefer choosing people and them choosing me for positive traits rather than negative ones. It sounds like you do deep down as well. It's not about having a "sad girl" whose problems you have to deal with, but a partner who's loving and caring and enjoys participating in shared activities with you, which are all far easier to do when you're not sad. (Also, if you're looking for emotional connection and sharing poetry, you'd probably do better looking for women at a poetry club than on a dating app. Just a tip.)

wtknight · 2022-01-19T15:50:40+00:00

No. Animals select for certain superior traits so that the species’ genes will survive.

I do think that some people factor compassion in when they select, though. Some men especially do this. Women sometimes want to “fix” an otherwise high value man’s faults, too. But overall if we selected sexually only for compassion then humanity would probably not survive. It might not survive based upon what people select for now due to our species inability to adapt to how easily technology can destroy the environment and other people, but we have a better chance of surviving than if we selected people only because we felt sorry for them.

kyjolski · 2022-01-19T17:22:49+00:00

Roses are red,

violets are blue,

I want to smash,

I hope you do too.

That's about the only level of 'poetry' that might work on OLD. It's not a good environment for what you're looking for.

Also, don't mistake compassion for pity.

sootlord · 2022-01-19T22:38:36+00:00

I wish attraction was based of authenticity

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-01-19T22:50:20+00:00

I want a guy who is pretty open emotionally who I can connect with on a deep, soul kind of level. And I have that. I want to know when he’s sad, but I don’t want him to be sad. That strikes me as a bit sadistic, or like something a controlling person would want. A happy person can appreciate your affection and attention and acceptance, too. I’m hearing “I want to be needed,” which is not bad in itself but can be toxic if taken too far.

billsull_02842 · 2022-01-21T05:52:14+00:00

i dont see women being attracted to compassionate men unless they have a lot of money to fuel their compassion.

philomexa · 2022-01-19T15:31:19+00:00

Compassion is one step removed from maternal affection, so that's going to be a no from me.

I want a sad girl

why? sad people are sad to be around and it takes an enormous amount of energy to deal with them.

a girl to who my love affection attention acceptance would actually mean a lot rather then just being a number.

A sad girl is no more likely to cherish your affection than a club thot. Her sadness doesn't imbue her with specialness, she's still a sentient meat sack intrinsically drawn to markers of physical fitness and attraction.

I wish one of those girls I send poems to on dating apps

Jesus Christ dude.

6gpdgeu58 · 2022-01-19T18:18:50+00:00

You don't actually want a sad girl, you just want the wall between you and her fall down so you can connect to her. But wall are put up for a reason.

And yeah, if we can fall in love with compassion, it would be great. But our genes survive by choosing the best people who would birth with us healthy kid and provide for them. Even in childfree people like me.

I think a better way, is making everyone prettier and healthier. Yeah, there will be some girl that are too pretty but it would help most people willing to connect to each other, even just our of loneliness.

goatismycopilot · 2022-01-19T20:33:22+00:00

Gravel_Roads · 2022-01-20T09:26:01+00:00

Im like the guy in the movie as crazy as it may sound I want a sad girl, a girl to who my love affection attention acceptance would actually mean a lot rather then just being a number.

You are basing your expectations off a fictional scenario. In real life, depression makes it very hard for people to feel love, or pleasure, or appreciation, or anticipation.

It literally is an inhibition in the parts of our brain that would otherwise reward us (like when we feel love, or eat good food), and impedes our brains from letting us feel positive anticipation (as in, looking forward to seeing someone we like, or doing something we enjoy.)

When a person is depressed, their brains aren't correctly give them "pleasure" even if they would otherwise like something, and their brains don't look forward to things coming up in the future (and often anxiety and dread can take their place.)

Sadness and depression have nothing to do with compassion. A person can be compassionate and still be happy. But a person who is sad isn't really being "compassionate" they're just engaging in essentially mental masturbation, thinking of sad things and feeling sad about it.

Relationships CAN work with people who are sad and depressed, but it's much much harder, and the person without depression has to be sure to practice a lot of self care to not also end up depressed.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-01-20T15:27:13+00:00

I want a sad girl, a girl to who my love affection attention acceptance would actually mean a lot rather then just being a number. Im in love with the girl in the movie I want to hold her in my arms while we're listening to jazz and not talk or maybe talk sometimes but mostly just be together enjoying being with someone who cares I guess she's taken now tho.

Because you are pathetic. You sound lonely and weak. You think you'd want a girl like that because you feel that love is more "real" , more "meaningful" because you fail now in the current romantic environment. You romanticize a sad girl because you think it would be easier to enter a romantic relationship with one, because it would take an unhealthy person to love and want you. To only love and want you.

Newsflash motherfucker. It doesn't work that way. The sad girl will still reject your sorry ass for someone more upbeat and exciting. Because she feels like it. You'd be thrown into a self fulfilling negative rollercoaster, partially prodded along by an emotionally unstable "partner".

BottedeNevers · 2022-01-21T19:59:33+00:00

"Im in love with the girl in the movie I want to hold her in my arms while we're listening to jazz and not talk or maybe talk sometimes but mostly just be together enjoying being with someone who cares I guess she's taken now tho."

WAT?

You are Basically Pierrot Lunaire kid

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIyxIhpLGQk

All that will happen is that you will project this unto a woman who is neither sad or in need of your compassion

You want the moon, but don't see the Harlequin of your own nature tricking you.

wtknight · 2022-01-19T15:26:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

AutoModerator · 2022-01-19T15:15:09+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

heyitsjeape · 2022-01-19T16:56:21+00:00

I’m at work so can’t really watch but I always spell it, “omelette.” I may now use “omeleto,” because it sounds kind of cool.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-01-20T02:30:05+00:00

No why?

Why would you want a sad girl? So you can be her her or some shit? This is like girls who want to fix men with issues. It's dumb

Good relationships are where people in them choose to be with each other because they actually love each other, not because "sad people appreciate me more".

Drive-By-Cuckers · 2022-01-21T19:24:44+00:00

Unfortunately you seem like you may be a sad boy, this would make it likely a bad idea for you to be in a relationship with another chronically sad person.

I had a 3 year relationship with a girl I really loved and it fell apart due to developing codependency and relying on each other completely emotionally. Neither of us learned to live independently since we entered adulthood in a relationship and neither of us fully learned to manage our mental illnesses because we were reliant on each other.

The truth is, dating someone who is chronically depressed will take a toll on you and you have to not only be prepared but willing and happy to put more effort into your relationship than your partner at many times and you have to learn to understand and help them cope with their mental illness.

Will you take it personally if your gf has trust issues? Will you be upset if she is overly sensitive and gets mad at you or feels insecure when you didn’t say anything to hurt her? Will you feel unloved and take it personally if you have to be the one planning every date and initiating conversation?

Title	Compassion vs attraction
Author	Mrjimmyjohnson
Upvotes	3
Comments	60
Date	January 19, 2022 3:15 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/s7sbs9/compassion_vs_attraction/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/compassion-vs-attraction.1096713 https://theredarchive.com/post/1096713

Comments