Relatively speaking, loneliness is not worse for men because they do not need to be as social as women

wtknight · 2022-11-03T18:57:48+00:00

Using your logic then, sexlessness would then be worse for men since they arguably are more aroused more often than women. This would negate any “loneliness advantage” that men would supposedly have, although this could be ameliorated if a man somehow has enough money to hire prostitutes on a continual basis.

I personally don’t think that men are any mentally healthier being lonely, though. Men are just better at repressing their emotions, and often with worse eventual mental health outcomes than women.

monkymonkk · 2022-11-03T18:59:19+00:00

I think there is some truth to what you are saying, but loneliness is still brutal regardless of gender.

I once perused through the foreveralone sub because a post made it to the front page, and it was…depressingly eye opening for me as a social woman

I think because the men on that sub tend to not be raging misogynistic incels, it was much easier to sympathize and understand them. Reading the posts there is depressing as hell and I wish happiness for all those people.

Men might be better equipped to deal with solitude, but constant loneliness? Hell nah

MrsKetchup · 2022-11-03T18:46:59+00:00

Eh, I don't think men are naturally lonelier. And loneliness isn't a gender split issue, the pain induced by loneliness feels the same to everyone. Men just happen to experience it more often, but that doesn't make it natural.

Humans are social animals, loneliness is unnatural if anything. Humans need interaction, it's sad so many are feeling isolated these days. We need to do better by our fellow humans

starunner · 2022-11-03T19:08:17+00:00

Why do you assume women value social interaction more than men do? Extraversion is a trait anyone can have, regardless of gender.

I'm a woman... while I do have friends, I find socializing frequently to be overwhelming and exhausting, so I spend a lot of time alone, often playing video games, or with my SO (who drains very little social energy from me). I'm 100% fine with that.

Loneliness sucks for everyone. But there are a lot of men hanging out in echo chambers filled to the brim of misogyny, bitterness, and anger toward society or about their own lives. Men often try to suppress their emotions, so they are much more likely turn to these online spaces that validate their feelings (in harmful ways, though they don't know that) rather than share them with others in productive, healthy ways.

The same goes for mental health care. If you're not open to getting help, you're a lot less likely to improve or increase your socialization.

Obviously, the above doesn't apply to every man, but it certainly doesn't help the men it does apply to.

KlingKlangKing · 2022-11-03T19:08:32+00:00

Nah every human needs social contact

bluestjuice · 2022-11-03T19:56:12+00:00

I have no reason to disbelieve men who say they suffer from loneliness.

bottleblank · 2022-11-03T21:24:55+00:00

TLDR: Men are naturally lonelier and prefer personal projects than developing a social life.

Disagree. I tried that, just resulted in burnout, it's like trying to survive without a varied diet with all of the necessary nutrients.

Sure, you might get enough protein, fats, and carbs to stay alive, but it doesn't mean you're going to feel good or be healthy, because you lack the proper balance of components to properly feed all the parts of your body with all of the substances they need.

I tried to throw myself into learning/projects/trying to improve academically because I had no social life. It didn't fix the underlying problem, it just distracted me from it... for a while. Then it came back with a vengeance, over and over again, as I tried to ignore it and focus on solo engagements, it would just come and strike me down mentally, distracting me, making me feel like crap, and eventually sucking away any energy I had to even do those projects.

I was lacking the required psychological nutrition of socialisation and I paid the price for ignoring the warning signs. Not that I ignored them by choice, not really, but through already poor experiences leading to poor mental health.

End result is the same though: I tried to be OK with being lonely, and it didn't work, because that's not normal - even for a guy.

tonyghow · 2022-11-03T22:18:59+00:00

Zero attention, zero intimacy, zero friends, is the definition of loneliness for anyone. Just because men can cope with it a bit easier than women, doesn't make it less shitty. It is actually worse because there's no free outlet like women have.

Also, introverted men with a hobby, porn, and no friends are not happy deep down. They would rather have a compatible partner with whom to enjoy those things with. But they don't have the social skills to make that happen. And women quickly dismiss men who aren't confident and well-rounded.

Physical_Software_29 · 2022-11-03T23:28:12+00:00

I totally agree with your observation. I myself are what you would consider a lone wolf, and that’s out of preference. I much prefer doing a activity with my friends like hiking or surfing rather than doing a social activity like going for dinner or drinks, I find it boring and I bond with other people much easer that way.

Ppdebatesomental · 2022-11-03T19:59:30+00:00

Living alone is a risk factor for mortality in men but not women from the general population: a prospective cohort

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/5515041_Living_alone_is_a_risk_factor_for_mortality_in_men_but_not_women_from_the_general_population_A_prospective_cohort_study

If dying isn’t “worse “, then I’m not sure what is.

lovelythecove · 2022-11-03T20:51:38+00:00

Hmm, I wonder, could these things be innate, or are they socialized?… Let’s see…

“The infant results showed no sex-related preferences; infants preferred faces of men and women, regardless of whether they were real or doll’s faces. Similarly, adults did not show sex-related preferences for social versus non-social stimuli, but, unlike infants, they preferred faces of the opposite sex over objects. These results challenge claims of an innate basis for sex-related preferences for toy and real stimuli preferences (Connellan et al., 2000) and suggest that sex-related preferences result from maturational and social development, which continues into adulthood.” (X)

“Regarding within sex differences, as opposed to differences between boys and girls, both boys and girls preferred dolls to cars at age 12-months. The preference of young boys for dolls over cars suggests that older boys' avoidance of dolls may be acquired. Similarly, the sex similarities in infants' preferences for colors and shapes suggest that any subsequent sex differences in these preferences may arise from socialization or cognitive gender development rather than inborn factors.” (X)

“Children used gender labels to guide their own preferences and their expectations for others. Even with very attractive toys, children liked toys less if they were labeled as being for the other sex, and expected other girls and boys to do the same.” (X)

“Girls expressed more submissive emotion than boys. Fathers attended more to girls' submissive emotion than to boys' at preschool age. Fathers attended more to boys' disharmonious emotion than to girls' at early school age. Parental attention at preschool age predicted later submissive expression level. Child disharmonious emotion predicted later externalizing symptoms. Gender differences in these emotions may occur as early as preschool age and may be subject to differential responding, particularly by fathers.” (X)

“Results show that parents rated same-gender-typed and gender-neutral toys as more desirable for their children than cross-gender-typed toys. The traditionalism of parents’ gender role attitudes was not associated with their desirability judgments of same-gender-typed toys, but was negatively related to their desirability judgments of cross-gender-typed toys. This indicates that egalitarian parents permit a greater range of interests and behaviors in their children than traditional parents do.” (X)

“However, the strongest influence on gender role development seems to occur within the family setting, with parents passing on, both overtly and covertly, their own beliefs about gender. This overview of the impact of parental influence on gender role development leads to the suggestion that an androgynous gender role orientation may be more beneficial to children than strict adherence to traditional gender roles.” (X)

“Most research on the material culture of childhood has confirmed that toys that reflect strict gender roles have significant impact of children’s personal growth and development.” (X)

And an experiment on video that show it’s the adult’s gender bias that predicts which toys infants are perceived to like, not an innate preference for gendered toys: https://youtu.be/nWu44AqF0iI

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HolyPipidastra · 2022-11-03T22:05:20+00:00

OP, then why is everybody complaining about the population of men who has been left behind, if it's not even that big of a deal? Entire movements are created to waste people's time on something that we thought was a problem. Let's continue letting guys jerking off to porn and working their $7.25/hr.

Stunning-Spirit5275 · 2022-11-03T22:45:12+00:00

There’s a difference between needing to satisfy the almost insatiable male libido, and the need for actual intimacy / companionship. And of course the overlap between the two. None of the above are satiated by solitary activities or distractions.

Ohyarlysmiles · 2022-11-03T22:53:12+00:00

Your logic is thus, X needs less food than Y, therefore hunger fails to affect X to the same extent it affects Y.

DUCY this is incorrect?

tired_hillbilly · 2022-11-04T05:06:23+00:00

Posts like this straight-up don't understand how men socialize. Men don't socialize face-to-face much, they prefer shoulder-to-shoulder. I don't mean they literally stand side-by-side, the difference is what they're doing when they socialize. Men socialize over a shared activity.

They need to socialize just as much as women, they just need to do it differently.

porn, videogames and endless entertainment

These cause the problem in the first place. Look at the number of friends people report today as opposed to in previous generations. Look at civic participation. These individual distractions are a big part of what's causing the loneliness epidemic in the first place; everyone is staying home. These things only distract from a problem they caused in the first place.

Impossible_You_8555 · 2022-11-05T18:07:48+00:00

I knew a girl who grew up in a traditional third world country and was honest the ways people raised such places are honest

She said I hope I have a son because women emotionally need someone, I chatted with her, her husband disagreed and who was at that point more progressive than either of us

Yes men can deal with loneliness and just bleakness more than woman can. It's not that it makes us happy we just don't prioritise happiness as much as women.

Title	Relatively speaking, loneliness is not worse for men because they do not need to be as social as women
Author	feanoric
Upvotes	0
Comments	43
Date	November 3, 2022 6:32 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ylalrv/relatively_speaking_loneliness_is_not_worse_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/relatively-speaking-loneliness-is-not-worse-for.1138243 https://theredarchive.com/post/1138243

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