Here is the second part of my series on my own Biggest Red Pill Lessons- this is the red pill, from my own perspective, and the more life changing revelations I've had.

Part #1

4. Understanding the Alpha Widow. Back when I thought I finally found true love, of course the last relationship I had before becoming fully red pilled (hmm, coincidence?? LOL), the girl I was dating had an ex who had dumped her- whom she was quite broken up over. My hot take on it at the time was that a) it seemed that enough time had passed since he dumped her- it was probably about a year, over an eight month relationship, and b) I objectively thought I was a shit ton better than her ex-boyfriend.

And I was. At the time. Oh.

The problem became this- as the relationship went forward, there were inevitable periods of my own weakness. You never want too much of this, in a serious relationship, but you also need a girl who can tolerate some (more on how this is possible in a bit, though you're not gonna like my solution). This girl had a low tolerance for male weakness, and eventually- past a year into the whole thing, when I was convinced I was in love with her- you do some snooping and you find text messages, then phone calls, and God knows what else (likely nothing, he lived in a different state- but I don't know or care at this point). What I didn't understand at the time was that she was an Alpha Widow with an idealized version of an unobtainable ex-boyfriend.

What does this mean, and why does it happen? Or, even better, why is it likely inevitable? Or, better yet, why is this affliction far more common for women than it is for men?

Let's go back (briefly) to the differences in how men and women love. Women love value and men love sympathetically (check my first post if you'd like a more thorough explanation of this). For our purposes, let's reduce this concept to men loving a woman for her weaknesses and shortcomings- and there is a practical reason for this. Just as women love feeling beautiful and sexy (the latter which unfortunately replaced feminine entirely, to the point where it's become something of a lost art), all men love feeling masculine; even if they try to deny it, or redefine what it means to be masculine, or pretend to project the polar opposite of masculinity.

When his woman displays weakness, her man will feel more masculine. Separately, most men like to feel as though they're good, honorable men- and some will include this in their definition of masculinity, or what it means to be a valuable man. Remember, a man must always prove his value in order to avoid being considered social dog food. So, say she loses some value as his girlfriend- say she gains thirty pounds, has a mental breakdown, loses her job, goes crazy, whatever- most men will enjoy the social proof of being a good guy and proudly stand by her. Furthermore, they'll enjoy the feeling of masculinity that comes with it- he's the strong one, he's her rock, he truly loves her and will stand by her as the ship sinks and the boats burn; he's a real man. In short, this is sympathetic love.

Women don't love this way. At all. If they display anything resembling this, it's a false flag. She either doesn't think she can do any better, or still believes the man has enough value and is going through a rough patch. Romantic, ain't it? But women love value- it's why Grandma cuts coupons, and women love "one day sales." For a woman to be in love, real and genuine love, she needs to feel as though she's with the best possible man whom she can attract. She needs to believe, at all times, that he's at least two to three notches higher than her on the old 1-10 scale.

This wasn't as much of a problem in a world where women married young, with few to no prior sexual partners, choosing from the guys from her High School, and couldn't easily divorce.

See the problem?

Even if my ex-girlfriend thought I was initially a "better deal" than the guy who dumped her, as the relationship went long and my weaknesses were eventually exposed, she no longer believed that I was the best possible man whom she could attract. Maybe if I had dumped her at the height of her attraction to me, I would have been the replacement for her Alpha Widow status... but I didn't, and he did. He dumped her before those moments of weakness could creep in, and she forever will have an idealized version of him haunting her.

Now, this relationship began ten years ago and the world was a very different place. Smart phones and social media were in their infancy. Online dating was still stigmatized. A woman still went to the sleep-away bordello known as university, but her world was still a much smaller place- less access to top 20% alpha males. Now that every girl has a Tinder, and promiscuity is becoming less taboo by the day, it's highly likely that every woman has become an Alpha Widow.

The kicker is that doesn't take more than a sexual encounter with a highly valuable, alpha male to become widowed. As long as she can rationalize, however deluded, the idea that she could do better than the man who'd take her seriously as "girlfriend material," she could be considered widowed. And, the real shit end of the stick is, you aren't gonna know until it's too late. Yeah, at first you're the new hot shit- she's high on whatever it is that caught her interest- but the times you'd ideally need her the most are what will most disgust her... and she'll be dreaming of the sailor she met on vacation.

5. For a long term relationship, lower your aesthetic expectations. This is what you aren't going to want to hear, and where I get downvoted into the ground. Hear me out.

If you're aiming for sex, swing for the fences... or don't, I think sexual chemistry trumps aesthetics, and some of the best sex I've had came from a fairly pronounced value discrepancy- if you get off on total dominance and humiliation, as I do, it's something to think about. But, again, just for sex, knock yourself out.

But for a long term relationship, there is a fairly straight-forward kind of mathematical equation you should understand.

The greater the value discrepancy between yourself and the woman, the more she's going to stay loyal and be the kind of girlfriend you want. The lower the value discrepancy, the more likely that she'll be disgusted in times of inevitable weakness- and, if you're going long with her, it will happen (even as much as you try to consciously contain it, which you should).

I'm not telling you to date an ugly girl, or a big fucking fat girl- you should primarily look for a girl who fits your particular type- and then be sure that there is enough value discrepancy between the two of you that will give you a little breathing room and ensure that she's less likely to find anyone better and stray, or obsessed with a memory of someone else.

You can take your chances with a woman of higher value in a long term relationship, but remember, it's not how hot your shit is- it's a natural law, it's math, and math is forever.

Like my post? Check out my blog Kill to Party