FR: 50 OYS's

36, 5’9” 162lbs, 12%bf, B: 185x5, SQ: 220x5, DL: 305x5

I want to point out to the fat, spineless, piece of shit lurkers. Do yourself a favor, stop procrastinating your participation in OYS. Do your best to follow the rules and be transparent about what you’re doing and what you’re struggling with. I stumbled into my first MRP post around the end of Nov 2020. It was about this guy Barracuda volunteering to give back to his community and then fucking a girl he met at the soup kitchen. Thought at that time, it wasn’t for me (but I was wrong, that guy’s posts are good. I've yet to find an approved guy on here without a real gem in their posting history.) I was googling again in the end of December and read an OYS thread for the first time. I came across Goodlookinman’s before and after pics and realized, okay, I probably shouldn’t write this place off. I think I read Steel’s guide next, saw gargantuan B’s old before and afters, listened to a weakandsensative youtube and saw the light.

(btw, this place needs more pictures because I guarantee the majority of MRP readers do not understand how dramatically you can change your physical looks; here’s me from a couple years ago, fat, hairy, belly full of donuts, here’s a shirtless one from around that same time. This is me after losing ~50lbs on my wife’s peloton, pre MRP, no lifting, feeling skinny and hawt for the first time since I was in college. I seriously "felt" skinny at the time. This is me right now, best shape of my life and lots of gains yet to be realized)

I posted once in January and once in February. I thought I’d only need one post a month because my case was not as bad as most guys’. Let me tell you about that definition of ‘not that bad’.

I was a 35 year old millionaire, new skinny dad-bod, very smart and talented at lots of things. I realized at that time that my wife wasn’t that horny for all of this. I would ask her for 10 second kisses and she would usually schedule it for later in the day. If all of her stress was alleviated and “we” were on top of our chore chart, I could catch her without an excuse to not cuddle a little in bed. My spreadsheet, which I had started 6 months prior to MRP showed I was having sex ~ 0.9x/week, often 1, sometimes 0, sometimes 2!!

I was absolutely the example Rollo discusses of “I’m so lucky she lets me watch hockey in the guest room”. My version of hockey was that I got to go hunting or fishing 1 day a month, but not every month. I could participate in social stuff outside of normal business hours ‘if’ it was work related. I would usually get to cuddle a little if I watched tv with her in the evenings.

Porn and masturbation every single day.

I would fast and count calories all week long so that by the time the weekend came around, I could stay up and binge drink beers watching a movie I liked after she went to bed.

Whew…..ok.

I went through a predictable path of OYS. If you look at askMRP you will see over and over again guys like business travel just say “lift, sidebar & STFU” and it sounds like they’re responding lazily and simplifying this too much but they’re not. It really is that simple. Here’s the major behaviors I adopted last year.

- I bought my barbell and plates in February of last year. I’m not sure if it this is exactly how body composition works, but I reduced my bodyfat by 14% between those last 2 pictures (~24lbs) and only lost 11lbs on the scale, so maybe I gained ~13lbs of muscle? Your physical appearance matters. The difference this has made in my life is ENORMOUS. I’ll also note that if you’ve always been fat (or if you’ve always been skinny) you absolutely DO NOT realize how differently all people, especially girls, will treat you when you’re no longer fat. It fucking floors me all the time.

- I cut so much drinking out of my life. I didn’t have big problems or ruin relationships with drinking, but looking back, a lot of my life and my schedule was built around figuring out how to fit in binge drinking several times a week. I still drink, and sometimes I drink a lot, but I used to never consider going through a weekend without it.

- I stopped porn and masturbation. Well, not completely. I like cumming on her. And I like filming it.

- I learned to stop DEERing. This was such a big fucking leap when I first got here. I used to not comprehend how I was supposed to suck in oxygen without exhaling defensive explanations and rationalizations for everything about myself. I cannot tell you how freeing it is once you start to embrace the assertive bill of rights from WISNIFG.

- I came a long way with STFU. I no longer dump problems, worries, insecurities and complaints onto other people (except for you guys). As I’ve developed a better understanding of myself, my circumstances and all the various feelings that hover around me, I’ve become better able to navigate my days without any input or feedback from anybody else. I know what eating a salad does, I know what eating a donut does and virtually every activity or behavior in my life is a salad or donut. I am my own ‘go to’ person for the best advice, compassion, motivation and love I can get. “Where am I? How do I know it? What should I do?”

- I spend a lot less time ‘living in’ and hamstring about the past and I reset frequently.

- I have more personal freedom than I ever thought was possible. I can watch hockey on any tv in the house now. I can actually “do” anything I want from the moment I open my eyes in the morning to the moment I go to sleep. The only lingering impediment to this is that I have kids and I “would” feel guilty if they didn’t eat or have childcare. When needed, they’re taken care of with my list of hot, fun, babysitters, including their mother.

- As of now, I think of myself as being the absolute FUCKING DADDY of my household. I have three little girls under my roof; a girly little 2 year old, a brilliantly autistic 7 year old, and a horny 33 year old teenager. I don’t burden any of these girls with my shit, making them buy into my decisions or share in the responsibility of my mistakes, I don’t offload insecurities or complain that I’m not getting enough of whatever the fuck I might be feeling needy about. I give to them generously, up to and until that giving starts to bump into my boundaries or mission. I give them those daddy cuddles and I listen to them emote about their feelz, dreams, and interests without judgement. I take in feedback all the time to consider what these girls might want or benefit from. Often, all they need is the confidence that comes from DIY.

- To do this, I’ve had to become and truly start believing that I AM THE PRIZE. This all had to come after the hard, but opportunistically significant realization that I am alone. There's no one else. There's no mommy and there can be no other daddy. Coming to terms with this helped me figure out that I have to be my own prize, giving abundantly to myself FIRST. If you’re doing that and it really is without neediness and covert contracts stuck to it, your life is going to change, you’re going to be more competent, confident, free and happy. And all of the little girls in your life are going to flock to you to get a taste of it.

- It’s also worth noting that this has been so much fucking fun! Every single week another dose of doubt, curiosity, & play! Fucking more one week than you ever thought was possible and then navigating a handful of butthurty rejections in the span of 12 hours and coming here to get your feelings hurt even more after complaining about it. Thinking you’re going to have a main event every 2 weeks until you actually learn to STFU. HOA fucking and shooting ropes onto everyone’s wives vicariously through internet cheat codes every week. Observing all the men and women in your real life interacting with each other. Reading askMRP stories or the OYS 1-10’s and seeing yourself in their hilarious “WTF? I’m the breadwinner?!!” confusion. This is all so much fun.

If I could go back to the beginning and give myself advice it would be to lift harder, control what goes in and comes out of my mouth better and read WISNIG and NMMG 10x each before starting any other reading. This holy trinity of lift, sidebar, control that fucking mouth, summarizes my plan for this year too.

One of the things that’s funny is that when I first arrived here, pretty much everything on the list above seemed like it was some unbelievable mountain to climb. But as these things have started to become a fundamental part of how I live, their significance or status as accomplishment is fading fast.

I have so much left to do. I’m overwhelmed with options of what to tackle or prioritize next. It’s invigorating to think about what might be possible in the coming year, decade and whatever else I get. My want to read, want to try, need to do lists are all way fucking longer than they were when I first got here, and I can’t wait. Thank you all.