Leaving the sisterhood: A recovering feminist speaks

Hach8 · 2012-08-13T23:28:30+00:00

Best AVFM article in a while, imo.

The_Patriarchy · 2012-08-14T01:26:17+00:00

I'm so glad you shared this! It's nice to be able to relate to other people in the MRM ( which is sometimes hard to do experience-wise since I'm a woman). I never knew enough about feminism to consider myself a feminist, but the basic ideology appealed to the younger me.. As a woman, of course I wanted to be equal to men! It was a simple idea that was easy to grasp.

However, upon educating myself on feminism, I discovered that many of its beliefs are misandric and just impossible for me to stand behind. I dont believe that there is a patriarchy that is systematically seeking to undermine women. It's empowering them, for god's sake. I hate the idea of "We're the bigger victim!" I'm a friggen Hispanic, bisexual, technically poor woman. Im almost their ideal example of the ultimate non-privileged person. My life has not been sabotaged by men who subconciously want to see me fail so that their own positions in society are secure. I have not been raped or sexually assaulted or creepily catcalled or abused by men who want to oppress me with their privilege. (Note: I'm extremely fortunate that those things have not happen to me and am sorry that they happen to anyone) In fact, the only person who has ever oppressed or abused me is my mother. A woman.

I'm not going to back a movement that villifies men and victimizes itself while claiming to be for equality. I guess today's the day that I'm finally adopting the title "anti-feminist".

nwz123 · 2012-08-14T04:39:44+00:00

When I did finally realize how badly feminism treats men and masculinity, I was not able to identify as feminist anymore. In an article at the Good Men Project I wrote about the awful jokey retort feminists and their allies use when anyone brings up men’s issues in a discussion: “whatabouttehmenz?”. Incidentally, I do think I deserve a medal for the fact I was banned from the website called No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz?. NSWATM is supposedly a forum for people who care about men, misandry and masculinity, but I was banned for challenging Sady Doyle, the prominent American feminist blogger, activist and, er…man hater!

And this is the crucial point about what's wrong with feminism. Any ideology purporting be a resistance movement against oppression ought not to be oppressive itself, but when feminist's are confronted with a narrative outside of their own model, this is exactly what happens. The belittling, the lack of empathy and understanding, the complete and total othering of an entire group of people (in this case, men, but in other cases, it could be race, as noted by the schism between mainstream feminist thought and black feminism, for example), all in an attempt to silence existences that don't conform with their worldview. They collapse the depth of person-hood that usually characterizes a human being, questioning their lived experiences, and finding them to be illegitimate, and for what? To avoid having to do what every other theory out there does: refine, develop, and adapt/change/evolve? It's no longer about women's liberation; it's about supremacy.

And what's the point of trying to replace a so-called structure of oppression, only to replace with another one?

2012-08-14T01:11:24+00:00

Its good women are moving away from feminism cause when i hear a girl i'm interested in starting a conversation with is a feminist its an automatic "Do not want"

ghebert001 · 2012-08-14T00:15:51+00:00

This should be on the sidebar under "Suggested Reading for Feminists Entering /r/mensrights". That's not a category? Well it should be one!

-Rushka- · 2012-08-13T23:51:32+00:00

According to them, women are not able to walk down the street or enjoy a drink in a bar without the fear of being hit on, harassed, and raped by men, those dirty dogs.

This is the thing that baffles me most about feminists. I live in a culture where men are openly admiring, and I love it. What kind of woman dislikes male attention?

Scott2508 · 2012-08-14T09:27:39+00:00

its funny that feminists who were so quick to get pissed at the agent orange files, at dearest krista being outed etc etc were quick to decry the mra for apparently doxxing yet there leading lights can do it with apparent impunity ..

alaysian · 2012-08-13T23:46:45+00:00

[permanently deleted]

ENTP · 2012-08-20T03:28:24+00:00

Feminism (in the West) died a long time ago.

There are no more feminists, because women have already achieved, and surpassed legal equality a long time ago.

We live in a post-feminist society. The only real feminists around today are women like Taslima Nasrin, and Ayan Hirsi Ali, who advocate equality for women who live in actual patriarchies such as those found in the Middle East and much of Africa.

There are no feminists in the West. Only self-serving assholes who are leveraging a once noble ideology towards their own selfishness and sense of entitlement.

Moustachiod_T-Rex · 2012-08-14T11:23:32+00:00

That was an excellent article and it should have many more upvotes.

Shattershift · 2012-08-14T09:41:20+00:00

Always happy to see sensible MRA content from women. It's a great sign of increasing understanding and legitimacy in the world of gender relations.

Coramoor_ · 2012-08-14T17:52:20+00:00

very well written article all things considered

DavidByron · 2012-08-14T20:08:34+00:00

It's always interesting to see how anyone manages to break with a hate movement or a cult. Usually it is because of some emotional turmoil. In this case it seems like Quiet Riot Girl took an exception to one of the most virulent aspects of feminism (so-called "Rape culture") and was attacked for it. That emotional scare put her off feminism and enabled her to examine it on a more rational level which just led to a bigger and bigger gulf, more emotional abuse, more ability to question how she'd been brought up etc.

How do we help this happen?

(1) Notice how rape culture -- a truly radical and vile teaching -- is mainstream feminism supported by so-called nice feminists and taboo to question. Anti-feminists don't have to do anything about that except highlight it. Kind of like turning over rocks in the garden.

(2) We need to call people out as sexist. Yes, it is unpleasant, and no, they never appreciate it at the time or act like it has any impact but then look here:

We were at an “equal opportunities” training day and a man there suggested my organization might be sexist. I was angry, and incredibly dismissive of him and his views. I thought the “misandry” that he spoke about didn’t exist.

Why did that episode stick in Quiet Riot Girls mind? Why did she mention it years later?

And there's some hint of what doesn't work. Studying gender at university is of no help at all of course.

I studied gender to PhD level and beyond, and so have based a lot of my own work on feminist theory and feminist-influenced research. Was it all wrong?

DavidByron · 2012-08-14T20:18:11+00:00

Incidentally, I do think I deserve a medal for the fact I was banned from the website called No, Seriously, What About Teh Menz?

Heh. I'm not so impressed by any one banning but if she's really been banned from 100 sites that is a good record. I got banned from that web site myself pretty fast I think, but these days I care so little that I tend to forget where I've been banned. A couple of hundred places I would guess.

Good stuff. Congratulations to QRG.

Title	Leaving the sisterhood: A recovering feminist speaks
Author	avoiceformen
Upvotes	106
Comments	89
Date	August 13, 2012 10:56 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/y651i/leaving_the_sisterhood_a_recovering_feminist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/leaving-the-sisterhood-a-recovering-feminist.1015924 https://theredarchive.com/post/1015924

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