Jezebel: What Should You Do When Someone You Love Becomes a Men’s Rights Activist?

loose-dendrite · 2012-01-07T03:14:33+00:00

Not that jezebel was ever anything but the lowest common denominator anyway, but..

The picture... LOL
wants to know what to do about his increasingly misogynist dad - LOL

*Jezebel contributor Hugo Schwyzer* - LOL

the belief that there's no such thing as marital rape - WTF? NONE of us believe that. The wiki article she talks about was written by feminists anyway!
I had to google it. It's basically an anti circumcision thing - Right... sure.. and feminism is basically a eat pussy thing.
pay inequality is something that is actually happening right now and is unfair, why not fight to end that?* - is this one ignorant or is she saying the fact that women make more now should be fought?

PURE propaganda hit piece... wow. It's pretty clear they aren't even interested in answering the question so much as just framing mra's in the worst possible light.

THIS IS WHAT FEMINISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE ABOUT MRA'S

They do not want to be prosecuted for any sexual crime against women or girls ever.

They do not want to be prosecuted for any type of domestic violence against women or girls for any reason ever.

They never want to be held responsible for their own reproductive choices, especially financially ever.

They do not want to ever, even in the most basic way, be legally required to treat women as professional equals or as superiors.

Classic demonization and disinformation campaign.

Chowley_1 · 2012-01-07T01:56:50+00:00

I copy and pasted the text so nobody has to give them ad revenue.

What Should You Do When Someone You Love Becomes a Men’s Rights Activist?

By Anna North

That's the question posed by an advice-seeker who wants to know what to do about his increasingly misogynist dad. We decided to look for a few more tips.

Earlier this week, Dad-Related Dilemma wrote to Slate's Dear Prudence,

My mom left my dad for another man 10 years ago, when my brother and I were in grade school. She took us with her, and the loss of his family turned my father into a bitter man. He now considers himself a men's rights activist. From what I can tell, the men's rights movement my dad belongs to believes that American law and society has institutionalized misandry. One website my dad frequents warns men not to date single mothers because their children might accuse the boyfriend of molesting them to reap the benefits of victimhood. My dad speaks often about the men's rights movement, and when my brother and I don't want to listen, he accuses us of being brainwashed by feminists. His behavior doesn't come across as crazy so much as it does misogynistic. Now I'm 18 and could stop seeing him if I wanted to. But my brother is younger and still has to see him. My mom doesn't know the full story because we don't want her to overreact. What should we do?

Prudie advises telling Dad he needs to quit the MRA talk if he wants to have a relationship with his sons, which is solid advice, but is there any way to tackle his bad ideas head-on? How should one argue with a loved one who's turned into a misogynist? I talked to David Futrelle of Man Boobz, who is somewhat bearish on MRAs' ability to change: "Unfortunately, in most cases, I don't think it's possible to talk someone out of a Men's Rights obsession. For most of them, it seems to be driven not by facts — they're happy to simply make up facts to fit their worldview — but by feelings, most obviously by rage at women." However, he adds,

The one argument I think you CAN make to MRAs who are not too far gone is this: it's not healthy for you to spend so much time stewing in your anger online. Instead of trying to help men work through their personal issues with women, the [men's rights media] encourages men to cultivate their rages and hatreds, to remain stuck. That's not healthy for them, or for society at large.

Jezebel contributor Hugo Schwyzer offered some more ideas. He says "most MRAs come from a place of huge disappointment. Yes, it's entitlement too, but it's also a deep place of hurt." How to get past that hurt? Schwyzer says,

In terms of advice, it's not easy for a son to challenge his Dad. But drive the conversation towards individual women — not the "bitches" and "harpies" of his father's imagination, but the women Dad has loved. A mother? A sister? An ex? There is inside every MRA I've ever met a stopped-up well of compassion and love for women. It's getting to the good stories (and there are always GOOD stories) about women that is so vital. And from those stories about individual women Dad has loved, perhaps the son can talk about what those women went through and experienced.

He adds,

It's also important for Dad to be able to talk about his own pain — not his rage, which is a response to pain, but the pain itself. Men's Rights Activism is the public manifestation of an experience of betrayal (whether that betrayal is "real" or not, it's perceived as real.) Getting to the source of that rage is vital.

I wouldn't ordinarily advocate trying to get to the bottom of a men's rights activist's pain — lots of MRAs talk about how much they'd like to inflict pain on women, and frankly, I don't have much empathy for them. But in this case we're talking about a dude (or maybe a lady) and his dad. This is someone he loves and someone his brother has to have regular contact with — and it's not clear that DRD wants to cut his dad off, either. That's always an option — Schwyzer notes that there could come a point when "it becomes too painful" for DRD to keep engaging with his dad. But if he hasn't reached that point yet, it may be worth trying to reach out. After all, if anyone's going to get MRAs to stop spewing hate, it's probably the people they love.

In Love With the Nanny [Slate]

Image via Lorelyn Medina/Shutterstock.com

cynwrig · 2012-01-07T04:38:37+00:00

So, to sum it up:

1) Fighting for men's rights is sexist against women

2) Men's rights activists hate women

3) MRAs only believe what they believe because they're bitter about something ambiguous toward women. (The author can't say MRAs are bitter because women have it good now, but I think it's pretty obvious that's what he/she is avoiding)

4) We are motivated, fueled, and driven by rage, anger, and hatred

TL;DR -- MRAs are bad people.

WOW ... I just ... WOW

hardwarequestions · 2012-01-07T02:35:50+00:00

anyone peek the comments? at least one, maybe two, declared MRA's are there trying to open the readers eyes as to what the MRM really is. too bad it mostly fell on deaf ears.

fack_yo_couch · 2012-01-07T03:29:10+00:00

I managed to go to the site without providing any Ad revenue to these people (NoScript FTW; Fuck you doubleclick and scorecardreasearch). If you really want to see lunacy simply look at the comments!

Check out this Gem:

PZ Myers mentioned MRA at some point (he's a feminist), so I went to the website and it was more awful and horrible than I could have ever imagined. Based on what I read there and elsewhere, this is what I gleaned:

MRA want four things. Everything they write, every bogus study they cite, every insult they hurl and every "fact" they make up is geared to achieve these ends:

They do not want to be prosecuted for any sexual crime against women or girls ever.

They do not want to be prosecuted for any type of domestic violence against women or girls for any reason ever.

They never want to be held responsible for their own reproductive choices, especially financially ever.

They do not want to ever, even in the most basic way, be legally required to treat women as professional equals or as superiors.

After reading this, the amount of fuck filling my mind exceeded its maximum capacity. Since everyone knows that it is impossible to say anything on any Gawker site that doesn't tow their line, I will pose my arguments here.

They do not want to be prosecuted for any FALSE sexual crime against women or girls ever. There, FTFY!
They do not want to be prosecuted for any type of FALSE ALLEGATIONS OF domestic violence against women or girls for any reason ever. It is fairly common to see false allegations of abuse during divorce preceedings to skew circumstances in their favor. which brings me to number 3...
Yeah, we don't want responsibility... then why the fuck is child custody bias in the courts one of the biggest issues in the MRM? Men WANT to be Fathers! Men WANT equitable custody of their children, and don't want to have to jump through hoops when the mother is an unfit parent.

If she is talking about Paternity, or rather Paternity Fraud, how is that any man's reproductive choice when he gets cheated on?

Okay, this is an outright lie. I have never seen anything in the MRM against this. I have never seen any MRA advocate harassment of women, sexual or otherwise.

I know that my responses are lacking in substantial depth and analysis, but all my responses just came off the top of my head. Any feedback is welcome.

loose-dendrite · 2012-01-07T02:46:17+00:00

It would be nice if this piece didn't assume men's rights activism is synonymous with misogyny. It does offer some good advice for misogyny (however badly wrapped) but in context I think they're just trying to make anti-MRAs feel smug and MRAs feel pissed. It's just trash for ad revenue.

CedMon · 2012-01-07T04:25:23+00:00

lots of MRAs talk about how much they'd like to inflict pain on women

I've never wanted to inflict pain on someone because of their gender, I'm actually offended that the author believes that all 29,000 of us thinks like this.

JeremiahMRA · 2012-01-07T06:43:13+00:00

Projection lol.

That whole article is a glaring example of psychological projection.

alecbenzer · 2012-01-07T06:45:21+00:00

I love how it's apparently specifically my fault for establishing a patriarchy over women.

Zahx · 2012-01-07T02:14:20+00:00

What should you do when someone you know reads Jezebel for anything more than comedic value?

Everything related to Gawker is terrible. It's the left-wing Daily Mail.

argv_minus_one · 2012-01-07T09:52:18+00:00

When someone you love becomes a men's rights activist, I recommend you continue loving them, and lend thoughtful consideration to their concerns. If your relationship is civil and respectful, let it remain so.

Chollly · 2012-01-07T09:16:46+00:00

I find it funny that:

Jezebel (plural Jezebels)

(pejorative) An evil, scheming or shameless woman; an immoral woman.

She’s an absolute Jezebel!

( often lowercase ) a wicked, shameless woman.

lol @ downvotes to dictionary reference - I give up

Revorob · 2012-01-07T09:28:23+00:00

Look how many of them are making false accusation relating to rape in the comments section.

Lying and making false accusations relating to rape and abuse is part and parcel of feminist culture.

2012-01-07T14:11:45+00:00

Tilting at straw men. It's depressing. Wanting equality does not mean wanting the freedom to rape, but I guess that doesn't cater to what Jezebels readers want to hear.

Scott2508 · 2012-01-07T12:15:11+00:00

wow , ok where did the marital rape one come from ?? i have yet to see an MRA push for that, what total bullshit

Scott2508 · 2012-01-07T07:40:20+00:00

How credible can someone named Jezebel be anyway? Might as well be a blogger and name yourself Caligula.

THEAdrian · 2012-01-07T02:34:18+00:00

I think it's just time to go gay. Look at that bullshit there. Let's all just go gay.

funnyfaceking · 2012-01-07T15:38:21+00:00

MRA ≠ Misogynist

ValiantPie · 2012-01-07T21:32:04+00:00

Jezebel is the place of an unprincipled, self serving type of feminism, that believes in social justice only as far as it will serve the girls who browse the site. I would take SRS over Jezebel any day. At least SRS has a concept of justice to begin with.

Bobsutan · 2012-01-09T09:50:50+00:00

Skimmed the comments. HOLY SHIT STRAW MAN Batman!

Title	Jezebel: What Should You Do When Someone You Love Becomes a Men’s Rights Activist?
Author	InigoJonze
Upvotes	52
Comments	101
Date	January 7, 2012 1:53 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/o682a/jezebel_what_should_you_do_when_someone_you_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/jezebel-what-should-you-do-when-someone-you-love.1029554 https://theredarchive.com/post/1029554

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