If a child is put up for adoption, neither parent has to pay child support. Yet if a woman decides to keep a baby, the man MUST pay? Someone please explain how this makes sense.

JTO223 · 2010-09-19T02:14:04+00:00

My ex-wife pays me no child support. Before I was awarded custody I paid $700 a month, roughly half my take-home income at the time.

tomek77 · 2010-09-18T21:46:19+00:00

Yes, women pay child support sometimes (although it's very rare, and their CS is often lower than men's, and they don't get aggressively jailed if they default - and they do default at a higher rate than men).

But the question stands: why do women who give their babies for adoption, never have to pay child support to the adoptive family? It makes no sense at all! I can't think of any rational explanation for this double-standard!

I think it is just one of those rules where it becomes clear that the "best interest of the child" is just a cover for "best interest of women". Very little of what happens in our family courts is really in "the best interest of children", if one thinks about it for a minute..

ignatiusloyola · 2010-09-19T00:32:20+00:00

We have all been trying to figure that out for a while now...

Il128 · 2010-09-19T01:29:26+00:00

A woman deceives her husband in to thinking the four children he is supporting are his. They are not. She divorces him and marries the biological father of the children. THe ex-husband has to pay child support. True story.

charlie6969 · 2010-09-19T03:29:30+00:00

Frankly, I have nothing to say about the second part of the question, because I just don't know. But, I was adopted as a baby. By law, both parents have to sign away their parental rights, but women usually get around that by saying she doesn't know who the father is. If the father wants to raise his child, instead of it being put up for adoption, then he has to prove that he is the biological father and file a motion in court to stop any adoption. Once a child is adopted, that child is considered, legally, as their blood, with all of the perks and responsibilities that entails. (I was the child of a married man and a woman, not his wife. She told him about me when she was pregnant, but he wanted her to either have an abortion or adoption. She chose adoption. I was adopted out to my parents when I was 13 days old.) I hope that helps clear up SOME of this.

HazDomain · 2010-09-19T00:28:59+00:00

And how come if a woman wants an abortion "fuck you it's none of your business and there's nothing you can do about it" but if she wants to keep it "it's your baby too, you need to pay for it for the next 20 years?"
There needs to be a male "petition to abort" where they choose abortion and pay for half of what the abortion would cost and the woman can take the money and do with it what she pleases. If she doesn't want to abort then she doesn't have to, but she also can't force the guy to pay for a choice that is completely hers and completely opposed by him.

2010-09-19T00:30:09+00:00

It doesn't make sense.

Men have no power and half the responsibility.

ew73 · 2010-09-19T01:00:44+00:00

Because the state is trying to ensure that smart people do not breed.

hopeless_case · 2010-09-19T03:32:42+00:00

I think a child has a right to the support of the two people who chose to (or risked) bringing into being. If those two jointly decide to give up the baby for adoption to another couple that is better able to care for it, then I think that's valid.

If one wants to give the baby up and the other doesn't, though, then I think the one that doesn't should have the right to force the other to pay support.

A better example of the law trying to have it both ways is the anonymity of sperm donors. Does a child have the right to the support of its two parents or not? Why do we have an exception for single women that want to get pregnant and have a child without a father being involved?

That baffles me.

AtheismFTW · 2010-09-19T18:58:16+00:00

I considered giving my son up for adoption when I was pregnant with him. In order to even SPEAK to the adoption attorney about it, I had to get my son's biological father's consent to adoption. (This was in Indiana, 5 years ago) I did not have a problem with that, but I also decided against adoption.

5 years later, biological father has nothing to do with his son by his own choice, and I have never received support from him nor have I filed for it or asked for it.

Yet still, I can't get my son a passport without his biological father's legal consent. I can't take him out of state, or it's kidnapping. He can successfully pick up my son from his preschool, no questions asked, when he is a STRANGER to my son. Some doctors have denied seeing my son for routine medical care because his biological father's consent can't be obtained. Nor can I successfully petition for full custody because the father says he "might want to successfully parent in the future."

Someone want to explain how that makes sense? I'm not looking for sympathy here, but trying to show that these WTF situations go both ways. The legal system is fucked up beyond belief. No one wins, and everyone gets hurt.

Rupp · 2010-09-18T21:38:55+00:00

That is because if the baby is adopted it is adopted into a home that can clearly support a child.

dimmak · 2010-09-19T02:51:09+00:00

https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Brood_parasite

2010-09-19T07:31:17+00:00

It's not supposed to make sense. It's supposed to take money from you, give it to your wife, with the government as an enforcer. That's the feminist utopia: all of them being welfare queens while the rest of the manhood work their asses out. The next step, after this abomination collapses, will be "socializing" the costs of CS, where everybody would be paying for other people's kids in a form of "man tax".

carchamp1 · 2010-09-18T21:34:44+00:00

Women in many cases pay child support. I had a good childhood friend who's mother paid a huge chunk of change to support him and his sister while growing up with his father. I think that women paying child support is just not publicized as much.

jyper · 2010-09-19T05:50:37+00:00

If the Father gives up the baby for adoption(ie if the woman died/abandoned the child/or if both parents decided) neither parent has to pay child support.

m1ss1ontomars2k4 · 2010-09-19T00:08:35+00:00

The assumption is that the woman is already paying child support and/or taking care of the child, which is why the man must pay his fair share as well.

Liverotto · 2010-09-19T04:47:48+00:00

Someone please explain how this makes sense.

Women don't need to make sense. Logic is a patriarchal invention. Rationality is misogynist.

Liverotto · 2010-09-19T04:58:02+00:00

Furthermore, do women ever even have to pay child support?

I would like to get some figures too, in the meanwhile remember that Men accounted for 97% of alimony-payers, since women paying child support are more rare than women paying alimony I guess men accounted for 97% to 99.999% of child support payers.

calzenn · 2010-09-19T12:13:58+00:00

The simple fact is that when a woman or a couple give up their child for adoption they give up all rights. First the kid becomes a ward of the state and then the baby is given full legal rights as a child of the adoptive parents.

The people who give up the kid can never come back and claim the child, it is a non-revocable contract.

Adoption and child support are two different things. I also think that in most places if a woman wants to put a kid up for adoption the man has the right to be granted custody... although this is sadly changing also...

s0nicfreak · 2010-09-19T16:58:55+00:00

What will be done if birth control fails should be discussed before having sex. If you don't agree on adoption, abortion, or keeping it, don't have sex with that person. However, if you agree to keep the child, you are deciding to financially support the child and you do not get to go back on that choice if your relationship with the child's other parent ends. That's why it makes sense. But of course that is based on the assumption that women are honest and don't change their minds based on hormones, which we all know is not the case. However, to quote myself;

if we give men the "right" to say they didn't agree to having a baby and get out of child support, there will be many men lying and saying they didn't agree when they did. It is true that there are many women lying and saying that the men did agree when they didn't, but I think the way to stop this is to eliminate the benefit to the women for lying about this. Have men pay for things directly instead of paying child support. Don't hand over money to pay the child's electricity bill, actually calculate how much the child uses and have the man give half of that amount to the electric company. Etc.

2010-09-26T04:16:18+00:00

Because when you put them up for adoption, you sign away all legal rights to them to care of the state, who then sign them over to whoever adopts them.

stargazer777 · 2010-09-19T02:33:02+00:00

Don't have sex with someone if you would never ever want to have a child with them. The end.

leighbowery · 2010-09-19T05:04:02+00:00

I realise this is being posted into a thread within MensRights and I'll receive endless downvotes, but it has to be said: When you decide to put your dick into a vagina, you need to be prepared for the possibility of a baby. If you don't want said progeny or perhaps any negative consequences of a child, then don't place your dick into a vagina or anything else capable of reproduction. A little personal responsibility can go a long way.

I fully support that women should pay child support; in some cases there are grounds AND the courts decide they do. In some cases there are grounds and the courts decide they do not. This is bad. If there are grounds legally, then yes it should always be enforced. But the fucking comments essentially reading THEM SNEAKY WIMMINZ ALWAYS HAVIN' BABIES AT OUR EXPENSE have got to stop. Fuck you. There are dicks and douchebags of both sexes. It sucks to be stuck with a mewling brat for eighteen to twenty years no matter what sex chromosomes you wound up with. If it's your sperm (or egg) and was willingly and knowingly placed by you, it's your duty to partially support that child.

Also, no you don't get a fucking choice in the abortion. You made your choice in the moments prior to and (briefly) during sex. I'm sorry if that wasn't long enough. Maybe you should take heed of the advice above and think about the consequences before getting your cock out. The fact that women have a few months longer to think about what it means to have a child is irrelevant.

TL;DR: Think before you act. Women should pay child support as well. Because there are women that currently don't doesn't get every guy off the hook for participating in conception.

JamminCrumpets · 2010-09-19T05:02:15+00:00

Well, from what I've been led to believe, it has something to do with "The Patriarchy." Of course, my sources may be corrupt.

Skurvy2k · 2010-09-19T21:08:16+00:00

If a child is put up for adoption, it is assumed that it is being adopted by a couple that can 100% cover the expense of raising a child. if a woman decides to keep a baby it is assumed she cannot 100% cover the cost of raising a child which is often the case. that is why this makes sense. bring on the down votes.

crank1000 · 2010-09-19T02:37:38+00:00

Here's some devil's advocate for you folks.

These standards were set during a time when men were the primary breadwinners, and women, if left with a child, would have no viable method of caring for a child. This started the standard, and any representative who would stand to oppose it today would be labeled a bigot by at least 50% of the voting public.

Many people are of the opinion (and this has some scientific merit) that a woman is much more psychologically attached to her child than the father. So it is easier for a man to emotionally detach from a child than a woman, so some could make the argument the woman doesn't really have the choice, while the man does.

The statistics point to men abandoning children far more often than women. (one statistic I found claimed 86% of single parent families are headed by women). So the odds of finding a woman paying child support just based on the numbers alone is unlikely.

Lastly, a common reason for parents to give a child up for adoption is often because of financial difficulties (yes, there are many reasons, but ultimately, most of them can be tied to money). It wouldn't make a lot of sense to force the parents to pay child support when they couldn't support the child in the first place.

AtheismFTW · 2010-09-19T01:55:27+00:00

[permanently deleted]

omegaprime55 · 2010-09-19T05:49:16+00:00

If you need child support, then you shouldn't be going around adopting babies.
Parent who mutually agree to give up their kids for adoption usually do it b/c they don't have the means to raise the child. If they were to pay child support to adoptive parents, then they might as well keep the baby.

A_Whale_Biologist · 2010-09-19T16:14:24+00:00

The philosophy here is that the welfare of the child trumps any notion of either the man or the woman's rights.

I am perfectly fine with this. If you don't want to risk being in a situation like this, DON'T GET ANYONE PREGNANT. It is impossible to get someone pregnant by accident.

NoNoice · 2010-09-18T23:58:58+00:00

You decided to try a make a baby when having unprotected sex. And then you pay because it is the right thing to do, and sometime thick ppl need to be reminded of that by the law.

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