TW: Mention of sexual assault/Victim blaming language

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I've been reflecting on my experiences of seeking relationship advice when I had issues with a boyfriend and I thought this would be a good discussion point.

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Often times we might seek out friends that know both you and your boyfriend/husband, a family member of theirs, etc. We fail to realize that their advice is biased because it is based off of their limited experience due to their relationship status with said guy.

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A mother won't know her son like his girlfriend does.

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A sister/brother won't know their brother like his girlfriend does.

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A friend won't know your boyfriend like you do. Especially one of HIS friends.

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It's pretty basic knowledge; A guy won't treat his friends/family like he treats his girlfriend.

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Maybe your boyfriend did something particularly scary or worrisome; he yells at you or hurts you in some way and a friend or family member says that's not x, he would never do that, he's not that type of person.

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What scrotes fail to understand (or they do?) is that men show an intimate, vulnerable side to their partners that their friends or family will never see. To their girlfriends or wives, they are truly themselves. With their male friends, they'll never show this side because they feel the need to impress them. They are not the ones seeing your prince in shining armor wake up with morning wood, groan as his entire body cracks from getting out of bed, scratch his ass, fart loudly, then take his morning piss complete with a pubic hair left on the toilet seat.

We see this all the time when their friend is accused of sexual assault. They are so shocked! They are quick to paint the woman as a liar because they know him as funny goofy scrote. Well, they know him as a male friend, not as a woman. A man isn't gonna treat his friends as a woman he wants to fuck.

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So next time you doubt yourself because someone tells you he would never do that just remember; They know him as a FRIEND or BROTHER. YOU know him as a BOYFRIEND or HUSBAND. These are all vastly different types of relationships where we will see different versions of the same person. You don't treat the random mailman delivering your package the same as your dad. This also applies to women who were sexually assaulted by a guy and gaslit by other people who said "x would never do that!" Well, [x guy] doesn't see them as a woman to victimize, they see him as the friendly co-worker or whatever his role is in their life.

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Be aware of other people's biases if you seek their advice.