Yeeeeeesh I'm over male therapists

katiekat0214 · 2021-10-07T23:10:21+00:00

I hate all of this, and I hate it for you. So sorry. In no particular order, this is what I hate about that entire conversation:

-- treating your boundaries as flexible

-- expecting your standards to align with his

-- being unprofessional, projecting his own standards onto you, expecting you to conform

-- minimized the human rights violations by comparing to a bartending situation

-- thinking every man, even a paraplegic, is ENTITLED to sex, so women should provide

-- lonely men are ENTITLED to sex, even if they are poor, short, ugly, fat, etc. NOPE!

-- talking rationally to him, a therapist, didn't keep him from trying to bulldoze you into believing like he believes

-- he didn't listen

-- he thinks you need to be educated OUT of your beliefs, and educated into his, that don't work in your favor

DTMFA.

SkiesEclipse · 2021-10-07T23:10:53+00:00

It’s so obvious that your therapist is a porn user and took that personally, lol.

NothingFrosty2517 · 2021-10-07T20:48:19+00:00

Ugh you paid to be lectured by a man trying to break down boundaries you are within your rights to have. Get your money back.

throwaway-fds · 2021-10-07T20:35:07+00:00

[permanently deleted]

pukubr · 2021-10-07T20:39:14+00:00

mens stance on pornography is not "the woman I'm talking to will be happier if she changes her perspective" its "men will be happier if women think this way."

I question any male who becomes a therapist and tries to treat female clients because I think they are just incapable of seeing things from a female perspective. everything they'll speak about is from a patriarchal men first perspective.

MajesticSkyPachyderm · 2021-10-07T23:26:20+00:00

Used a paraplegic man as an example of why sex work is good as he would not "Experience normal human relationships otherwise"

His example is so dumb, because in the case he uses, the paraplegic man still doesn't get to experience that.

Male therapists are as, if not more dangerous than L/N/ZVMs.

Edit: a word

samedinuitmort · 2021-10-07T20:43:47+00:00

Threads like this make me so thankful for my therapist. She’s so so so great. She doesn’t involve her personal opinion in her treatment of me, and when it does happen to line up, she informs me in a sweet way AND validates the belief. Eg she said that of all patients she treated, the only “open relationships” were last ditch efforts to “save” the relationship and that they failed each time (when I expressed that I didn’t really believe in the “free love” movement).

For all, I recommend Adlerian type therapists! Look for Adler centres in your area or “individual therapy” (as in, therapy tailored to the individual, not as in the opposite of group therapy)

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-10-07T20:47:06+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this. I briefly took on a social work major with the idea of going into counseling. I didn't make it more than a few weeks. So many people are well intentioned but genuinely do not have the critical thinking skills or intelligence to be of any good to anyone. So many people who choose those career fields are looking to validate their own worldviews or look for answers to their own problems.

The worst experience I had with a male therapist was when I went to marriage counseling with my abusive ex-husband. I had not found Lundy Bancroft at the time, so I didn't know that going to marriage counseling with an abuser will only make it worse.

I straight up told my counselor in the bluntest way possible that I was afraid of my husband. He couldn't be trusted. He tried to make me doubt reality all the time. He was constantly cheating on me. He blamed me for all the problems in the marriage. He said it's because I'm mentally ill, but I didn't feel like there's anything wrong with me because the depression and rage and anxiety went away every time I wasn't around my husband. I didn't have a support system. I didn't even have friends. The last time I got to leave the house and socialize with other people was years ago. The counselor looked me straight in the face at our second session and told me that I was the problem for wanting an open relationship. In reality I didn't want an open relationship, I wanted a divorce.

Honestly, that was probably the day I should have given up on men entirely but I didn't lmao.

SeaNegotiation8 · 2021-10-07T23:39:54+00:00

Can you offer his practice a scathing review? Because I think other potential female patients need to hear about this.

Tell this scrote “IDGAF if he’s paraplegic or lonely, he’s not entitled to sex that isn’t freely given with enthusiastic consent.”

BelleCervelle · 2021-10-07T21:55:53+00:00

Wtf I am sorry that is so blatantly unprofessional.

Ew.

Thank you for warning women!

ussr_ftw · 2021-10-08T00:15:16+00:00

Report him. Don't let this man become certified.

modernmedusaa · 2021-10-07T23:42:52+00:00

Expose him sis

Write 5 different google reviews about his practice online

This is disgusting and why men should NOT have female patients

Most are misogynists and pornsick

They belittle women’s problems as ‘hysteria’

They scoff at women’s sexual abuse or men cheating or abusing them mentally etc

Women die every year from men dismissing their health concerns as ‘anxiety’

Half the time these male therapists use the session as an excuse to talk about their problems and their own divorce- narcissists

Also many are perverted and will try take advantage of vulnerable women

apommom · 2021-10-07T20:35:49+00:00

Just no, and you should try to get your money back for that particular session. You aren’t paying to educate and debate him. And if this man is defending porn then he is also consuming porn. Definitely seek out a female therapist

monstera-delicious · 2021-10-07T22:59:35+00:00

It's unethical to try change a client's point of view on such matters. I'm a therapist and I would never do it.

misandryisnotreal · 2021-10-07T23:51:10+00:00

Don’t be shy, report him to his licensing board and post all of this in a public review.

Also, if your insurance was involved in payment, kindly let them know about what an incompetent provider they’re sponsoring.

SquekyCleanButthole · 2021-10-07T23:14:38+00:00

Complain your ass off. Completely unprofessional asshat.

smolsunrise · 2021-10-07T21:01:56+00:00

My last male therapist was angling to date me. At first I thought I was imagining it and then he started using my therapy time to tell me what a great catch he was and how all the women in his area had “ruined themselves with colored hair and tattoos” and not like me and it got CREEPY

I have a black woman therapist and she is amazing. Male therapist, never again.

yfunk3 · 2021-10-08T00:47:37+00:00

Report him. He crossed a professional line.

vforvendetta87 · 2021-10-08T00:48:53+00:00

Well, we now know who uses porn in that room. 🤢🤢

ironglaciers · 2021-10-08T00:59:41+00:00

I go to female therapists just like I only go to female gynecologists. That's that.

tzijo · 2021-10-07T23:40:16+00:00

That’s so gross that he would do that you in a therapy session. Clearly, his peen is more important than your mental health and his profession. No wonder you’re over it.🤢

Novemberinthechair · 2021-10-08T01:13:42+00:00

Do bartenders risk getting genital warts from pushing booze?

Pickle__nic · 2021-10-07T23:21:13+00:00

This scrote-therapist lacks basic empathy and skill to have a conversation where your feelings are priority and to his opinion. Why doesn’t he figure out what that means, why you detest it and have some curiosity. That’s his fucking job!? Probably has a lot of scrote patients he nods and agrees to.

fuckbeingautobanned · 2021-10-07T22:36:05+00:00

Pornography is usually PAID, which means the EMPLOYER can ask whatever they want from the person willing to perform it, and to exacerbate those ridiculous standards you've got a target audience who have been desensitised to want MORE and MORE from a woman who just wants to make a decent living. If you can't see that as exploitation that goes WAYYYY further than expectations regular employers have, there is something wrong with you and you are clearly unable to put yourself into the actresses' position.

How would YOU like to be told you're not complying to company standards if they were to ask you to spread your asscheeks wide open and to keep being walked over? You're a part of the problem.

~STANDARDS CAN CHANGE.~ I stopped wanting to contribute to the aforementioned problem, that's what standard I've changed. mic drop🎤

ferociouslycurious · 2021-10-08T01:14:24+00:00

Good grief that’s worth walking out of the second he opens his mouth and filing a complaint with insurance and his licensing boars

sleepysiri · 2021-10-08T09:56:08+00:00

Male therapists are laughable because they will try to push and break your boundaries so much, when therapy is meant to help you build them.

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-08T02:26:47+00:00

Change to other one. You are paying a porn addict lol, better find a woman

lansburysoda · 2021-10-08T03:01:22+00:00

Therapy or emotional manipulation? Yikes. Because women are just means to an end: male sexual pleasure. Got it 🥴

My therapist is a woman in her 50s and 10/10 I highly recommend seeing a female therapist who’s older. They bring a wealth of empathy and experience that is impossible to match.

europoor24 · 2021-10-08T06:13:51+00:00

No mental health professional will raise these red flags:

- boundaries are "changeable."

- therapists/anyone in this field is taught to remain neutral and put their bias at the door.

IAteTheDragon · 2021-10-08T11:40:54+00:00

'I' m gonna educate you in sex' LOLZ this loser is probably thinking your sessions will turn out into a porn scene. His brain is a porn mash. He belongs to the trash 🚮

asianinindia · 2021-10-08T02:24:42+00:00

Report him. Or at the very least leave him a bad review.

woadsky · 2021-10-08T08:04:09+00:00

He was not listening to you and affirming YOUR experience and belief system. Instead he wanted to run his own agenda and convince you of his point of view. Therapy isn't about arguing points of view. I can see why you'd quit.

ashcantcatchabreak · 2021-10-08T04:20:51+00:00

[deleted]

shelballama · 2021-10-08T15:09:08+00:00

I honestly would dispute this bill from my insurance company for "services not rendered." He was there to cover specific topics for you, not have a debate over and industry that hurts women and benefits his peepee somehow

t3ddi · 2021-10-13T23:57:55+00:00

Why did you stay? You stayed and paid for this?

randomgirl34861 · 2021-10-08T05:57:58+00:00

The example of the paraplegic man bothers me for a few reasons-

1) People who are paraplegic or have other similar disabilities make up a teeny portion of men who seek out sex workers.

2) People with severe disabilities who simply want to experience orgasm are far from an accurate representation of the “average” client a sex worker deals with. Many people coming to a sex worker have access to safe, regular sex and are paying someone because they want something else. Something extreme, painful, messy, degrading, perverse, or humiliating.

2) No one is entitled to sex with another person. However, I do think everyone should have the right to to sexual release (ie, masturbation). If someone’s physical disability prevents them from being able to masturbate, I feel that is a bit of a gray area. Perhaps there should be some kind of service for that, but not a seedy thing… more of a medial spa type of deal? But in that case there still shouldn’t be penetrative sex or anything that could put the worker at risk for illness. (With proper gloves and gear, there is no risk of getting a disease from manual stimulation, which should be the only thing a place like that would allow) Stimulating a disabled person with your hands in a medial spa type setting very is a different experience than going into a hotel with a man and closing the door behind you. Providing people who are unable to masturbate at all due to physical disability some kind of release in a controlled professional is it’s own can of worms. Don’t try to twist that sensitive subject into a way to prostitution.

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Title	Yeeeeeesh I'm over male therapists
Author	throwaway-fds
Upvotes	747
Comments	79
Date	October 7, 2021 8:29 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q3hwbr/yeeeeeesh_im_over_male_therapists/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/yeeeeeesh-im-over-male-therapists.1076841 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076841

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