She made no sense

akihonj · 2021-08-23T20:25:20+00:00

She's doing it to gaslight you, to make you question your ability to provide.

The best defence is a good offence so that is what this is.

My ex-wife used to do it, until the day came that I laughed at her and asked her to write down everything she's done for the home, the kids, pay the bills etc for the last 3 years. I gave her a small notebook and pen, told her she won't need a larger one because there's going to be space left on the page, so write it all down.

Then I said something to her that somebody else had said I needed to say, it was this.

If you go nobody will notice, if I go everyone will notice, so when you're going to question me, you'd better first make sure you're actually morally superior to me.

It shut her up there and then..

BlackFire68 · 2021-08-23T19:53:37+00:00

Women get mad when we think we are just a paycheck... but if the paycheck isn't enough... oh my does it hit the fan.

Note: it's never enough for certain people

anonymizered · 2021-08-23T20:03:37+00:00

Reading no more mister nice guy right now on the advice from many here. It’s a quick read. Try it.

sicrm · 2021-08-23T19:38:56+00:00

help yourself and get a lawyer.

JustTheSpecsPlease · 2021-08-23T21:30:04+00:00

From her perspective? You're just the host.

Seconding advice to lawyer up. Once she gets to a lawyer who realizes you've been providing, you'll be legally compelled to continue providing for life.

SwamiSweatSocks · 2021-08-23T22:10:30+00:00

You’re male, you suck. That is all.

47omek · 2021-08-23T22:51:55+00:00

DO NOT let this one get on the stay-at-home-mom gravy train. Get her back working ASAP. Even if daycare costs close to what she makes, you don't want to be setting a precedent as the sole provider for the family because that's what the state will enforce a continuation of post-divorce. In my experience, once a woman starts openly disrespecting her husband like she's doing it's just a matter of time til divorce.

NightManCommenth · 2021-08-24T05:10:48+00:00

You need red pill in your life. Watch these guys lay it out to you on YouTube. Don’t tell your girl. Only tell friends who need it. I am an audible guy myself, I read The Rational Male while I walked the dog instead.

womenthro · 2021-08-24T00:10:42+00:00

Been there. Mine quit her job on a whim to take a $3000 hypnosis class with no plans of working when she got back. (This was before kids).

Two weeks into this, she came to me and said that I need to "step up my game around the house" lol fuck off.

EmotionSix · 2021-08-24T01:51:57+00:00

Did you take care of her needs? Did you help her feel wanted and loved?

25_years · 2021-08-24T13:34:19+00:00

I'm no expert on human interaction, for sure. But something I learned a long time ago: If someone appears to be logically off-sync, they're either legitimately crazy (unlikely) -- or, more likely, they're operating on a hidden agenda.

People can have differing opinions, for sure. But the less subjective the issue ("I say it's daytime, but you say it's nighttime"), I'd say the other person isn't lying or crazy. They have a secret agenda. At that point, ask yourself what it could be and why they're hiding it.

rockhoppernostopper · 2021-08-24T14:17:07+00:00

Projection? Is she contributing? Could it be that she feels unequal to you in that sense?

tanotsurewhattodo12 · 2021-08-24T16:26:46+00:00

Similar situation.. while my STBXW works part time.. and helps pay some things.. I make 2/3 of the money, I do a bit of the chores and fix things, etc.. and my apparent reason for being a failure of a parent and husband.. is that I don't do enough. Enough time spent (working all the time to provide for kids in college, expensive house, etc). The flip side is.. she never considers the things she doesnt do any more.. and how it affects me. It's all about her. Always my fault. Never hers.

Yah..I am done. 20+ years.. seems silly to keep on doing this for another 20+ years (if I dont drop dead sooner).

hombredelgato · 2021-08-24T16:50:12+00:00

Obviously only you can decide what is important to you. You can only control your behavior and reactions. You cannot make her (or anyone) do anything beyond what they are willing to do for you.

Decide what you need from her. Tell her in no uncertain terms and be clear that they are the unbreakable needs that you have and that she is the only person (right now) who can fulfill them. Let her decide if she wants to give them to you.

If she belittles your needs; if she "agrees" but with limitations; if she puts you down for having needs; if she gets angry about "ultimatums" on the relationship; if she shifts focus to your "inadequacies"; if she acts like a martyr because you deign to put a request of your needs in her hands...

Then you need to seriously consider the future the relationship.

Get a therapists and focus on you. Figure out if you have a codependency problem or any kind of trauma bonding, or self-esteem issues... What makes you ok with someone taking from you but not asking them to give of themselves?

My help here isn't to tell you that, "your right skaelee, she's such a (insert thing here). You don't deserve that kind of treatment." It is that you fully recognize yourself as the man you are and all your positive qualities, and accept that it is absolutely acceptable that she should recognize those same qualities and honor them in you.

Hope this isn't too preachy.

Normalperson140 · 2021-08-25T13:42:48+00:00

Take her in the bedroom spank her like a child tell her you’re providing her with respect for you. She’ll love it my wife did.

Title	She made no sense
Author	skaelee
Upvotes	25
Comments	35
Date	August 23, 2021 7:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/pa72n4/she_made_no_sense/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/she-made-no-sense.1060299 https://theredarchive.com/post/1060299

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