The novelty variant of the "Blood in the water" test: "Nobody has ever done ... to me"

"If you want to test a man's character, give him power" - Abraham Lincoln

​

For those of you who aren't familiar with the famous vetting strategy named "Blood in the water": It's about making up a false (harmless) insecurity to see how people react to it.

Do they exploit that perceived personal vulnerability like a predator? --> Test failed🚩

Or do they respect your boundaries like a well meaning person should? --> Test passed ✅

The name is derived from sharks (predators) who can't help but to attack everything that smells like a bleeding victim. You can weed out a lot of abusers that way.

------------------------------------

To make it even less obvious you can also frame a "vulnerability" the other way around. Here's an example:

Classic "blood in the water" test:

"I'm really insecure about my artwork."

Reversed "blood in the water" test:

"I'm really proud about my pictures. And other people seem to like them too. Nobody has ever said anything bad about my art."

​

Instead of saying "On some days I feel so self-conscious my nose when I look in the mirror." say "I don't like my nose very much but I guess that's just me because nobody has ever brought it up."

You get the picture. The important part is that your statement consists of the following compartments:

1. Mention a situation seemingly important enough to deserve your focus. Originally the "blood" is your anxiety/shame/insecurity. Here it gets replaced with novelty which indirectly links to the same. The abuser will interpret said focus as vulnerability because he thinks it's important enough for you (read: you fear it) to bring it up.

2. Choose a situation you are capable to handle in case it occurs. Emotionally, mentally, physically.

3. Don't be overly specific, keep the "blood" general. Avoid talking about unique dates, places and people since they are more likely to draw suspicion.

4. You can play it safe by wrapping the novelty in pride. See my first example about art. This bait is especially suited for petty narcissists and those who want to take you down a peg or two. It's also a nice bait to weed out negging PUA's or RP clowns. Basically everyone who can't stand an assertive, happy woman will feel tempted to neg you. Even if they stay silent you can often see the contempt in their faces. "Your pictures are good but I've seen more colorful/better ones.", "You seem very confident of your work (implying your pride isn't justified, that you should slow down and seek their approval).". Don't overdo it with the self-praise either.

5. The underlying tone should be "this bad situation hasn't happened to me YET" or "nobody hasn't done this bad thing to me YET". What you don't say is "you must treat me exactly like that". A HVM will treat you respectful either way and this would only give a LVM another opportunity to larp and waste your time. You don't want to give this man a manual of your psyche, standards or expectations.
   You are casting daemons to see if there are any.

​

I'm a bisexual woman and therefore at even bigger risk of sexual assault compared to gay and straight women. I use this method when vetting women for regular friendships or romantically. When talking about men I casually drop how I've never been sexually harassed by women, only by men. Which is a stereotype and also a lie. And that women have always respected this boundary so far.
You'll be unpleasantly surprised how good this works on female abusers and narcissists. Sexual harassment isn't about genuine attraction but about power, dehumanization and degradation. That's why it works on heterosexual pickmeishas as well. Within the next few days up to 2 weeks the mask slips. I don't recommend doing this with men however. But if you fall into the WLW category AND you are physically able to handle the situation you can apply this one at your own risk too. Similar to the other examples I appealed to novelty. Here I didn't wrap it with pride but instead skipped that step and drew a direct comparison to a similar situation (sexual harassment but only from men). What the abuser hears stays the same.

This novelty version of the "Blood in the water" test conveys the following message: "I'm somewhat acquainted with abuse and despite people's boundary crossing in the past I still wear my heart on my sleeve. I trust you enough to let you in on this fear. It's important to me that you don't take advantage of it because you would be the first one so you thereby would engrave yourself into me. You have the power to not only wound but scar me. Not only are you able to control me at will, my existence could be your very legacy. Even if I were to walk away you'd always be a part of me."

It's very unlikely that a person with abusive tendencies can resist this bait for long.

Credit goes to all the assholes in my life who sexually assaulted me and then even had the guts to ask if they were the first one who did this exact thing to me (and where upset when is said they weren't the first one).

​

Ask yourself why abusive men are so obsessed with the idea of female virginity/low female body count while fucking around themselves because it obviously it has nothing to with a lower chance of STD/STI transmission. Ask yourself why those men want very young and therefore inexperienced women or even girls. Think about the madonna/whore complex. Why are abusers obsessed with innocence and doe-eyed, bubbly - even dump - girls? Why do they hate smart, educated women? Why do abusers prefer girls over women who are more likely to actually survive a potential childbirth?

NVM want to carve themselves into their prey. They long for being the first and therefore look for a blank slate. Fake being that blank slate when you want them to show you their true colors.