Should I feel Guilty

Chip512 · 2021-09-30T13:40:56+00:00

If it’s fair, it’s fair. Finish the divorce and move on.

sicrm · 2021-09-30T13:33:37+00:00

flip the scenario and you know exactly how they’d feel.

pocket the 100k.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-09-30T13:26:49+00:00

Don't feel guilty. Women have a solipsistic entitlement mindset, and it is exacerbated by the divorce process.

In my own divorce, I offered my then wife to split everything down the middle. She thought that wasn't fair because she has a vagina. After each of us spending $25k, we came to the same agreement I offered at the beginning. The only difference is that we're each $25k poorer.

crypto_keeper88 · 2021-09-30T14:07:53+00:00

Hell no, start planning on what you want to do with the extra 100K!

XcessiveObserver · 2021-09-30T13:30:42+00:00

NAL

Yeah i think it makes sense what your feeling, you wanted to continue the kindness especially when you didn't have to, and they couldn't take your kindness at face value.

Personally i would stick with the new amount, they had their chance and now they are reaping the consequences. You sound like a good person.

Best of luck my dude

Busy-Recording-1911 · 2021-09-30T14:20:53+00:00

Going through one myself. I’m giving her a vet fair deal. She essentially able to be 90% debt free after using her 1/2 the proceeds from the sale of the home.

She’s trying to stick me with more debt and feels I should just pay. I’m comparison I’m already taking on nearly 70% of the debt as it is. We have transitioned from us having an agreement and simply finishing it up and putting it in writing to spending more on attorneys and getting ready for court.

After speaking to my attorney, he said I’ll get a better deal in mediation and/or court. I believe her attorney said that she’s already getting a good deal and that she would likely not fair out as favorably.

She doesn’t care. She wants what she wants. So I’m now not willing to offer as good of a deal.

warrior_up · 2021-09-30T19:17:35+00:00

You'll learn soon that she wanted to destroy you and any chance of you had of maintaining a respectable lifestyle. If anything, you should pay your lawyer a bonus for giving her what most of us have wanted to see happen to our ex's for a long time, reality check and understanding of how good she actually had it.

She's no longer your concern, she can find another guy for emotional support now. Congrats, this is a win for the boys - good to hear that you protected your assets, found the right legal representation and are free and financially secure to do whatever the hell you want to now.

God speed my friend, enjoy this one

pegleg_legal · 2021-10-01T03:36:22+00:00

You can't be the hero and the villain. Your first offer was too generous and they fucked up by not taking it. I think the life lesson they will learn about who you really are as a stand-up, good person is worth it. Move the fuck on.

Neoh330 · 2021-10-01T09:14:31+00:00

It's fair....she tried to take you to the cleaners and screwed herself.

WartimeDad · 2021-09-30T14:14:33+00:00

Don’t feel guilty for even 1 second.

c4944e830acd · 2021-09-30T19:49:28+00:00

Take the money and ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

emberlands · 2021-09-30T19:55:41+00:00

Hahaha, no, same thing happened to me.

My originally offer was a lot higher, and had a monthly component.

What she ended up was zero monthly, and a lot less lump sum.

She's still angry about that, but I warned her, if you fight me, I will fight back.

henrysmyagent · 2021-09-30T20:45:58+00:00

The beat kindness you can show her is not laughing in her greedy face in court.

She paid a lot of money to screw herself, let her enjoy every bit of the exquisite humiliation she has paid for.

Never bail-out people intent on fucking you over!

TheRealJamesWax · 2021-10-01T02:50:07+00:00

Damn…. Thank god I live in WA and don’t have anything. And our daughter’s practically grown. Y’all got WAR stories. Sheesh…

yourmomshotvag · 2021-09-30T15:30:58+00:00

Same happened with me except I was awarded primary custody all because she wanted more money. She got nothing and I feel no guilt

CommanderOfCheese45 · 2021-09-30T15:29:14+00:00

I started off feeling quite guilty. I started off offering much more than was fair to me and she was still being kind of a bitch about it, but I was the one with the lawyer and my lawyer told me I was being way too generous.

The stbx is still trying to use guilt to get more out of me. I used to feel guilty, but now I realize I'm still being too generous. If she won't take the deal I'm offering, then we'll just see how it turns out.

Throwaway4120213 · 2021-09-30T19:11:43+00:00

Don’t feel guilty. You think it’s just about this settlement but it sets the tone for your entire co-parent relationship.

You cave and give her what she wants - she will forever try to strongarm you on everything. Countless stories here - I offered my ex half of everything. She refused - wanted me to give her open ended refinancing period, then wanted the house at 1:1 to pre-tax assets, wanted me to take all the debt, etc. 80K spent between the two of us to get to the same terms I offered. She racked up 40k in legal fees that she is still paying off.

The difference is now that she knows if she is unfair about changes to our parenting plan/child support - our lawyers will duke it out and we both will be out of money just to get back to what my fair offer is.

CiciroJunglecat · 2021-10-08T17:03:48+00:00

You made her a over the top better then most offer and she told you to stick it. Save yourself the 100 grand sign the papers and put the money towards something beneficial for your children if you have any or yourself. People like her need to learn that not everyone is out to screw them over and that if you push a good person you deserve to lose more. Sorry. Never feel guilty for doing the right thing. You did by offering her more then a fair settlement and she turned it down. Walk away happy and move on.

Title	Should I feel Guilty
Author	stephenc01
Upvotes	18
Comments	32
Date	September 30, 2021 1:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/pyjo7u/should_i_feel_guilty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/should-i-feel-guilty.1073389 https://theredarchive.com/post/1073389

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