Sex with a narcissist

Aromatic-Owl8808 · 2021-09-23T08:15:04+00:00

"A partner with traits of grandiose narcissism might:

make outright sexual demands
tell you that you’re wrong when you challenge or criticize their behavior
ask for praise and compliments directly
become openly enraged when you disagree

On the other hand, a partner with traits of vulnerable narcissism might:

use passive aggression or other manipulation tactics to get what they want
shift the blame to you when you call out problematic behavior
put themselves down so you’ll offer compliments and praise
be very sensitive to criticism and hold grudges when they think you’ve insulted them

Many people with traits of NPD do cheat on their partners and attempt to manipulate them into having sex."
and
"You can certainly begin making changes on your own, perhaps by:

reminding yourself that your partner has just as much value as a person as you do"

Men have to be reminded that women are people, too?

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-09-23T14:06:45+00:00

Don't forget about the love bombing narc.

In the beginning sex with him will look like:

•He will focus on you and your pleasure

•He will do things like go down on you without expecting anything in return

•He will tell you how amazing and beautiful you are

•He will tell you how amazing you are in bed

•He will be all over you in public and private showering you with positive sexual attention

•He may even recite words from love songs and poems to you (these won't be his own words)

•He will always be receptive to you sexual advances

All of this will make you feel great until he decides the love bombing period is over and he has you hooked. That's when he will pull the rug out from under you.

Suddenly he isn't receptive to your sexual advances, he starts turning you down, he starts telling you the sex isn't that good or nitpicking your performance, he stops/reduces giving you pleasure, he stops being so excited to give you pleasure, he starts to do things like accusing you of only wanting to be with him for sex. Anything he can do to flip the whole power dynamic.

xfelugirlx · 2021-09-23T11:51:09+00:00

Literally most men are narcs. My ex was one too (the worst by far)

Saint-monkey · 2021-09-23T15:34:45+00:00

So I posted on the child free subreddit and my post went kind of viral. Like it got 1.6k likes, which has never happened to me on Reddit. Anyway the content was about my primary care doctor and how he questioned my decision to stay single and child free by asking me if I had “daddy issues”. I ended the post by saying “the audacity of men”. Immediately I got comments like “you mean the audacity of some men”. I responded, “no, I meant what I said”. And then came the slew of “misandrist!” And “she’s active in FDS, she’s a femcel!” Comments. I argued back and forth with one of the scrotes for a period, explaining that sexism against men cannot be equated to sexism against women, and that it’s even offense to try to do so. I said that it’s obvious that all men aren’t shits, but enough are that women have to deal with this BS, and that the new thing men like to do is to tell women they have daddy issues. A woman would never do such a thing. I was then met with replies about how the comment my doctor made was wrong but not attributed to gender. eye roll. I’ll say it again here- the audacity of men. They really are narcissists. And there’s no getting them to see the light.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-09-23T13:57:04+00:00

98%ofmen

throwawayastrogirl · 2021-09-23T20:35:25+00:00

#toomanymen so I don't bother; my vibrator has never failed me before, scrotes can fck each other.

BusinessTwistofLime · 2021-09-23T05:47:29+00:00

Yikes! More red flags to watch out for! Thank you for sharing.

Are there any experienced therapists who specialize in NPD that can detail the differences between the different types of narcissism and how they play out for women dating these types of narcissistic men?

LR_today · 2021-09-23T23:21:31+00:00

80% of narcissists are men. Not all men are narcs. Some are just shitty.

For context, I was with a diagnosed person with NPD years ago. After I escaped, people would ask if my next ex bf was a narc because he was so shitty (misogynistic, selfish, racist, etc). I said absolutely not, he was shitty, but NOT a narc. Narcs have something wrong with their BRAINS. Their entire being is evil to the core and they are incapable of caring for other people. Most men are not narcs, just crappy people.

MofoMadame · 2021-09-30T07:46:14+00:00

I totally agree. Men are programmed to be narcissistic, IMO.

Title	Sex with a narcissist
Author	imtryingtotryhere
Upvotes	195
Comments	17
Date	September 23, 2021 5:10 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pto5y4/sex_with_a_narcissist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/sex-with-a-narcissist.1074834 https://theredarchive.com/post/1074834