CHILDFREE WOMEN BEWARE: if a man tells you he is childfree, make sure he is ACTUALLY child free and not a deadbeat

quasarbar · 2021-09-20T00:14:30+00:00

Years ago when I was using OLD I met a man whose profile said he was single (of the options that the site offered, including divorced, widowed, and separated -- single implies never married) and that he had no children.

Turned out he was actually divorced (or so he said later; for all I know even that was a lie too and he was still married) and he had a son. He offered the usual excuse of not wanting to scare off potential partners with the truth, as if it were better to be dishonest. (?!)

I didn't mind his being divorced or having a child, but I very much minded that he lied. Of course. (Why do so many men on OLD think that they can just lie about who and what they are upfront, meet a woman who is perhaps looking for what the men claim they are and not what they actually are, win her over, then afterward reveal the truth and she won't care? Of course she'll care that you're a fucking LIAR, dude!)

I especially hated it that he denied his son's existence. That wasn't just an affront to me as a potential partner whom he lied to, it was disrespectful toward his son. As a child of an absent father myself, that really, really rubbed me the wrong way.

I'm sorry, I know this is a little off topic. I just think there's a special place in hell for men who father children and then walk away.

preppykat3 · 2021-09-19T19:03:35+00:00

I’m strictly child free and the moment I see his offspring I’m gone like the wind. I don’t care how long I’ve known him for. I don’t see how they’d be able to trick me into saying.

mashibeans · 2021-09-19T19:33:27+00:00

BIG DEALBREAKER for myself, as a CF woman is this: If you claim to be a CF man, you better have gotten a vasectomy.

No vasectomy? Not childfree in my book.

Yeah yeah, his body his choice, WHATEVER. A true childfree man would take responsibility for his own fertility and permanent birth control, and the easiest, fastest way to ensure it, for CHILDFREE MEN, is by getting a vasectomy. Let's not forget that vasectomies are INFINITELY EASIER to get than bisalps, or even clips. Women have to go through a thousand hoops (it's depressingly common for doctors to outright refuse, or demand a husband's/boyfriend's approval, what the flying fuck) to get MAJOR surgery to ensure their permanent body autonomy. Sure, in some places doctors will be dicks to men too and deny them vasectomies, but it's still generally easier than women.

So yeah. No vasectomy? You ain't childfree in my eyes. Had kids before? You ain't childfree at all. You donated/sold sperm to a sperm bank?? NOPE, not childfree, since chances of your offspring being out there is good.

blackmetalbetty · 2021-09-19T19:39:41+00:00

if his FWB became pregnant and kept the baby, he would not be involved at all.

Guessing he has an aversion to condoms..

miaumiaoumicheese · 2021-09-19T19:20:33+00:00

And make sure he is telling the truth, it is likely that he will claim he is childfree only to keep you interested and then tell the truth when you’ll be invested in relationship cause he will totally believe that once you hear him saying that he actually wants children you will change your mind because in his mind obviously you want to keep with you someone as amazing as him, always firstly ask him before telling him anything he may use to deceive you

MyBeautifulSweetsong · 2021-09-19T19:18:14+00:00

Also if he hasn't had a vasectomy (easier for men to get sterilized) he isn't seriously CHILDFREE.

strawbebbie17 · 2021-09-20T07:04:41+00:00

This. Back in my more pick me days I let a scrote with a kid waste my time. When we met I told him a story of talking with a different guy on tinder and that I had stopped talking to him because he revealed he had a kid. Well this scrote took that as his cue to not tell me he also had a kid. A few months later I saw him tagged in a post by his kids grandma. He was stunned that I figured it out, blocked and deleted ✌️

_mooness · 2021-09-20T07:43:01+00:00

My NVM Narcissist ex had the audacity to tell me he wouldn’t date a woman with kids even though he’s a deadbeat dad. He said that was his only deal breaker.

fireforestfairy · 2021-09-20T00:57:23+00:00

LVM really have to lie about everything about themselves, eh? They lie about if they have kids or not, their relationship status, the number of women they've dated, their age, their looks, how wealthy they are, their life experiences, and their personality.

AriaLuz · 2021-09-19T23:23:50+00:00

I would also suggest refraining from telling a man you don’t want children because the first thing they will do is try to get you pregnant. Be careful when sleeping over their house as well because they will possibly have sex with you while you are sleep. How do you think most of the women in the old school days ended up pregnant? Half of their children were not willingly made.

katiekat0214 · 2021-09-20T00:57:27+00:00

In chat, I've encountered some of this, and the huge red flag for me is, where the hell is the child's mother? and why are all these fathers being left with kids? really? women are just walking out on their children left and right? This seems to be a pattern, but then again, I have an online "stalker" who isn't very bright, and who's everything I dislike in a man: a parent, religious, traditional, conservative, conventional, not bright, attempts to be controlling, arrogant, presumptuous, etc. My personal nickname for him is The Idiot With 10,000 Names, because that's his only talent.

Apparently he thinks I'm hot, and absolutely wants to get married, cohabitate, and basically have me run his life, because he can't adult. And invariably, kids are either featured prominently (huge turn off), or he's convinced HIS kids are special and I'll "love" them. NOTTTTT going to happen. WHERE DO I SIGN UP! Unpaid slave labor, tons of cooking, cleaning, raising some other woman's child when I never wanted kids at all, being a bangmaid mommy, chauffeur, financial manager, general dogsbody? SIGN ME UP FOR ALL THE WORK FOREVER! Can't wait to be an intelligent pack mule for a dumb scrote who got saddled with kids.

DuchessDurag · 2021-09-21T05:34:33+00:00

If single dad‘s claim to be high value why do they still hide their kids? 😵‍💫🤣

A man cannot justify lying about his kids or being a deadbeat to a woman and expecting her to accept that.

Title	CHILDFREE WOMEN BEWARE: if a man tells you he is childfree, make sure he is ACTUALLY child free and not a deadbeat
Author	BasieSkanks
Upvotes	695
Comments	35
Date	September 19, 2021 6:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/prdych/childfree_women_beware_if_a_man_tells_you_he_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/childfree-women-beware-if-a-man-tells-you-he-is.1075538 https://theredarchive.com/post/1075538

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