How long did you live together after separating

dranic · 2022-01-31T18:20:28+00:00

I think the advice is misleading. Generally good advice to not leave, but the reason is because if you leave without a parenting plan and the kids are at the house, your ex is entirely in control of when you see them or not. This establishes a precedent that is viewed by the courts as abandonment. IE if you wanted your kids so bad, why you let her control when you see them.

Don't overthink the advice, the idea is to make sure that you're spending as much time with your kids as you intend to ask for if it goes to court.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2022-01-31T19:18:34+00:00

0 days.

Since she was the one that initiated the divorce and had family in the area, I told her she could move out. Thankfully she did immediately and did not push back.

My biggest concern if I moved out was that she would sell the house the kids spent a large part of their lives in, as soon as she could. I felt that consistency for the kids was important. In the end I bought her out of her half of the house.

She on the other hand has moved 3 times in 3 years and is planning on moving again in the next six months. If she does, she will have moved 4 times in 4 years. She is also on her 3rd car in 3 years and her 3rd job in 3 years. Notice a pattern? 😂😳

rsmiley77 · 2022-01-31T20:10:07+00:00

The two things you’re worried about is kids with custody and then if you want to keep the house. Using my situation as an example…. My ex had a plan to get me out of the house. Then judge would give her the house… then she was going to ask that I pay money so that she could afford to stay in the house. If I had have moved out I may have found myself paying extra money for her to stay in the home.

To answer your question it was around five months for me living with the ex. During that time she paid no bills. The. During the divorce she tried to misrepresent how much she paid towards bills. Thankfully that’s where bank statements come into play.

riddeford · 2022-01-31T20:34:16+00:00

After I particularly unacceptable argument, I left for two days and stayed with my dad. I found an apartment within that week and moved out about two weeks later. We’ve been separated since October and the lawyers are working out the agreement now.

I understand that people say you should stay in your home, but in my situation, there was no way I would’ve mentally survived if I had stayed in the house waiting for things to be sorted out. As soon as I looked her straight in the face and said I was divorcing her, she would’ve escalated the disrespect to new levels.

I wasn’t going to stick around a second longer to see what that would look like. Most importantly, I knew I wanted to divorce and had wanted it for years, and in my state it takes 12 months of living apart before it’s official.

Last week I received the proposed settlement from her lawyer. It was absolutely ridiculous. My lawyer is out of pocket for a while so I’m looking forward to coming back with our counter proposal.

AlexFromOgish · 2022-01-31T20:35:48+00:00

You’ve already told us your youngest is in college so custody is not an issue. That leaves property division and spousal support. Are you and your wife cooperating for a non-adversarial split or fighting? Redditors can offer opinions about the emotional impact of staying or moving out. But for legal advice you really need to see a lawyer. PS I just noticed you’re worried that she might sell the house if you move out. Are you on the deed to the house? Have you signed any divorce papers that talk about who gets the house? If you’re on the deed and there’s no court order for property division I don’t see how she could sell it without your signature

pegleg_legal · 2022-02-01T00:49:09+00:00

How long did you live together after you formally decided to separate before one of you moved out?

On and off for about 18 months.

Can anyone advise how long you can be out of the house and not have it count as leaving.

Come and go as you please. Don't ask. Don't inform. Don't dramatize. Have your go-bag at the ready. In fact, the unpredictability of it all can be a great tactic to keep them off balance.

pilotbrown16 · 2022-02-01T01:24:39+00:00

Some to be ex ask why I have all my sit in my car. Because I want to and in the event she throws me out once she gets my list of what think is far from my lawyer to hers.

I'm ready at any time and have multiple places that she already knows I'm writing as required.

Other wise we are still in the same place.

Still trying to make amends, but she has made it clear she doesn't want it so I said ok. I've given you a chance to back out so we can work on it. But I am not going to push it. I can say I tried and that fine with me. Would have at least likes to gone to counseling. But she doesn't want it and says great you want to change now after all the chances ect... Well yea who really wants to do this I sure as hell don't. I know I will be fine after. Her good luck with the next husband (4th) when he comes around and living in a trailer with the kids when I go back on deployment, and the money train leaves for the last time

Gattsama · 2022-02-01T07:17:33+00:00

In WA state, things might vary but it's ONLY for the kids. And that's also assuming you want 50/50. WA is a community property state so all assets and debts will be dived 50/50 (to net balance / equity). I've been separated since Oct and plan to file tomorrow. I do NOT want the house, she does, I moved out, she is still there. It's not a problem

black65Cutlass · 2022-02-01T14:37:44+00:00

We were together a week after the "conversation". She moved out, she had been setting it up for a while without my knowledge. She ended up moving in with HER ex (father of her children) that she was married to right before getting together with me. I thought it was kind of shitty but whatever. They deserve each other, and I don't have her drama in my life much anymore (a little until she gets all her crap out of the house and this is final). I am keeping the house. I will have to buy her out but it is worth it not to have the drama anymore.

Are you intending on keeping the house? I would stick it out as long as possible if so just so there are no issues.

SireSweet · 2022-02-02T23:59:33+00:00

I didn't.

DisJr · 2022-02-05T02:26:11+00:00

I have anxiety about this issue.

I live 10 mins from my family. I like the house more. I am the breadwinner and work from home. I also take care of the kids almost exclusively.

Wife has several issues, first being that she never leaves the home now (2 years) and exercises excessively. She can't break routine.

I don't want to abandon the home and I don't feel like she is capable of raising the kids.

But I'm also to the point where I don't want to be around her anymore. I work to the early morning hours. And she wakes me up every night from panic attacks on top of it. Then leaves me to deal with the children every day on top of it.

Title	How long did you live together after separating
Author	runnfree1
Upvotes	5
Comments	21
Date	January 31, 2022 6:17 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/sh7z8c/how_long_did_you_live_together_after_separating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-long-did-you-live-together-after-separating.1098666 https://theredarchive.com/post/1098666

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