Why does it seem like less attractive people tend to gravitate more towards kink/fetishes and other non-traditional sexuality?

wtknight · 2022-03-05T06:43:52+00:00

Removed. No leading questions. If you wish to express your own views, please create a properly formatted CMV post.

rosephase · 2022-03-05T04:07:30+00:00

It's simply because those subcultures are more accepting of different ways of being attractive and strong sexual expression. So you see more people who are normal looking or even not standardly attractive strut their stuff. The culture accepts it and appreciates, it so people do it.

I remember when I went to my first kink club at 20 and I was blown away by how sexy non standardly attractive people could be. It really taught me to get over my body and enjoy the fun of sex.

LotBuilder · 2022-03-05T04:00:22+00:00

It’s probably matches up with the general public. 10-15% of population is attractive and that matches the kink world

simeneta_two · 2022-03-05T04:09:12+00:00

How do you know those hot people aren’t into BDSM, swinging, etc with a trusted partner? You’re assuming just because they don’t want to do weird stuff with a stranger off a dating app they aren’t into it at all.

My guess is less attractive people are more prone to making their kinks their personality and advertise it publicly. This is likely because they need something to differentiate them from the sea of other average looking people. But there’s likely plenty of hot people into kinky stuff who aren’t disclosing it to everyone.

LalaTheSecond · 2022-03-05T04:07:47+00:00

They need to do more wierd things to keep anyone interested.

PlayfulLawyer · 2022-03-05T04:04:34+00:00

Hasn't been my experience, but if that is actually the case, I blame Nintendo

CFinCanada · 2022-03-05T05:14:56+00:00

I knew a really hot girl, she looks like a blonde Isla Fisher with bigger boobs, who was into swinging for years with her man she moved here from Ireland with, but that was before she met a guy she wanted kids with.

She's now the perfect monogamous mom 😇

In general though you're probably right.

87AudreyHorne · 2022-03-05T04:32:13+00:00

My anecdotal evidence is similar tbh. I think it's a bit of a compensation on their end, they need to get one up on better looking people so they push this fetish thing, like "I'd be OK with doing all this, I'm so wild and not vanilla"

What I find ironic is that to me missionary with either person on top is the most mutually active and passionate way to just have sex with someone who attracts you, whereas most of these kinks seem very contrived and ritualistic. But whatever to each their own.

I really do think it's a bit of their selling point, that they think that secretly the opposite gender would be excited by the promise of doing all these kinky things so many wouldn't do.

Also, and this is so mean, I think it provides non attraction based sex. Basically you can have sex that is based on being turned on and how hot the other person is, or people can have sex that is just fulfillment of some other complexes where the other person is just the means to an end, like the whole bdsm thing. Where your desire doesn't uplift/compliment the other person but serves to degrade them for example.

Finally a lot of these fetishes involve other people, which is self explanatory - someone who thinks they arenr attractive enough compensates by "not being jealous" and promising other people, I find it so sad and I've seen this. On the other hand is also that people with weak egos might feel good by the idea that they will keep getting with more people because they have a point to prove

This is just my impression though

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OneAngryBlutbad · 2022-03-05T04:55:33+00:00

Edit: it could also be that the more attractive people just don’t ADVERTISE it as much.

Depends on your social circle and what sites you’re on or the subcultures you’re into.

I’m defining attractive people as above average, like young and fit but not models necessarily.

And defining anyone below as less attractive which ticks on a veiled hint of ugly……..so far not off to a great start here bub.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-03-05T05:21:37+00:00

If their advertising it, there must be a market.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-03-05T05:22:04+00:00

I think attractive people get less gripe from being kinky.

As humans we are prone to focus on the negative things, so a unattractive person having or dispaying kinks might stand out are unwanted or gross. However an attractive person displaying kinks as normal or kind of sexy.

You as a human might be more prone to notice the unattractive person having kinks.

glowupresearch · 2022-03-05T05:38:44+00:00

Socially unaware (which tends to go hand in hand with unattractive) people are more likely to be open about bdsm/poly/etc. and make it into more of a hobby/identity.

More flatteringly lol these things also require a lot of curiosity and research and willingness to thwart social norms which are usually qualities of people with large internal worlds. And attractive people generally are more likely to have larger external worlds.

I do think specifically bdsm and poly are becoming more common for all types though.

Edit: hmm it just occurred to me that with bdsm it kind of amplifies gender roles and desire through power dynamics, so for less attractive people it might be a way to feel more attractive and masculine/feminine.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-03-05T05:44:02+00:00

Wish I could add to this , but to be honest never paid attention to this kinda stuff for a real life relationships. Read stuff in novels, but that's just fantasy stuff.

BrodieDharma · 2022-03-05T06:21:56+00:00

From what I’ve heard women say, most doms they’ve met have been well-endowed.

I didn’t ask so much about attractiveness, but physical attractiveness is one aspect of sexual attractiveness, and sexual attractiveness is one aspect of sexual chemistry and compatibility.

Having mutual kinks can boost a person’s sexual compatibility and chemistry above looks if those kinks are rarer and hard to come across.

They also make sexual compatibility more sustainable over time.

For example, I have a foot fetish.

I had a girlfriend who gained too much weight to stay my preference.

I developed a footfetish and an attraction to big boobs that carried us over until she lost weight and looked better than she did when we first met.

Still have the foot fetish and she lost the big boobs with the weight loss, but because she also grew a liking to feet play, it became something that stuck with us even at times when we weren’t together and were seeing other people.

I didn’t really keep my thing for big boobs, but it wasn’t necessary.

Being sexually adaptable is a good trait and quality that can help a lot of people have more fulfilling dating a sex lives.

For some people, kinks can open them up to different people they didn’t know they would be j to & for some people, who have a lot of options, it helps weed people out.

I’m 24/7 lifestyle dominant. For most women, the idea of being feminine& submissive with a man brings up a jerk reaction, but being that it is something I’m open, honest about, and have experience tapping into that desire with women I deal with, I get what I want & can more easily vet women for what I’m looking for in a relationship while having fun and avoid the women who don’t want to get with that.

LatterSeaworthiness4 · 2022-03-05T06:49:42+00:00

That has been my observation as well.

Title	Why does it seem like less attractive people tend to gravitate more towards kink/fetishes and other non-traditional sexuality?
Author	Pistachio_Queen
Upvotes	16
Comments	27
Date	March 5, 2022 3:56 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/t70w8e/why_does_it_seem_like_less_attractive_people_tend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-does-it-seem-like-less-attractive-people-tend.1104074 https://theredarchive.com/post/1104074

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