Waaaaaaaaah! No one wants to date me because I'm a single mom 😢😿 I mean, my standards are quite reasonable 😂😹 | WhereAreAllTheGoodMen

Loud-Bottle-7879 · 2022-03-07T00:07:21+00:00

Blows my mind when single moms try to equate having a child full time is on par with a girl having a dog or something. They really can’t wrap their head around how it is a deterrent? She even said she doesn’t like to go out and have fun anymore, you would be able to get “quality time” once every month or so when she can get a babysitter, the list goes on.

Also please note her wording, she is getting matches with people who would be fine with her having a kid…they are just not what she describes as “quality men” aka men she could probably get before the bastard was in tow.

Boar_excrement · 2022-03-07T00:01:54+00:00

Feels really sad that she cannot match with anyone closer to her age. Claims that her standards are not crazy high. That her standards are actually fair.

WTF does that even mean? The only thing I can interpolate is that she considers her standards higher than the average woman. Has she even looked at what the average woman demands in her profile?

Either she is completely delusional about her own SMV or she is getting her excuses in early for why she failed to find a match. I actually think it is both.

thisisnotyourconcern · 2022-03-07T00:58:57+00:00

She's being more careful now she has a daughter? Gee lady, don't you think that might've been a smart thing to do before getting pregnant with a guy?!

BigAggravating1299 · 2022-03-07T00:11:03+00:00

I'm sure she is still getting filled up by Chad's, it'd just that the Chad's are not committing. Seems like men are waking up.

lurkerhasarisen · 2022-03-07T01:15:10+00:00

Note that when women say that their standards are reasonable, they mean that they think their standards are reasonable. We featured a woman here whose profile specified that the man have all 32 original teeth (no impacted wisdom teeth for her!)... among numerous other items, and the inspins at FDS criticized us for saying her standards were unreasonable.

I never cease to be amazed at the sheer number of women who think that waving off any man who is not at least six feet tall with a six-figure income is a winning strategy, even though that only applies to a very small percentage of single men (and those men tend to be older because income usually scales with work experience). We frequently see lists of "Swipe Left Unless..." that exclude all but a handful of men in a city of millions - and sometimes the "reasonable" lists exclude literally every man on Earth.

Since she's looking for a relationship rather than just sex... unless she's smoking hot and cooks like Julia Childs she should be grateful that any guy with a job is willing to meet her for coffee. Maybe she ought to circle back to her child's father and try to make it work with him.

What a radical thought, right? Stick with the man you breed with?

sleepyweaselisawake · 2022-03-07T01:31:31+00:00

"I have a daughter so obviously I have to be more careful."

Had she exercised that kid of concern throughout her 20s she would not be a single mother today.

titsandwits89 · 2022-03-07T01:17:48+00:00

It’s not just the time suck of the child around, it’s the fact of how ignorant you look to have a whole ass child with some random. Not an attractive or smart choice.

Lifeequinox · 2022-03-06T23:34:23+00:00

"Single mom tears" lol

Mr_Chad_Thunderpenis · 2022-03-07T02:12:47+00:00

Single moms, like physically unattractive, mentally unstable or old women, should realize that they don't stand very high on the dating totem pole. Most men, especially young childless men with potential and the whole life ahead of them, don't really want to spend time and resources on another man's child. And most of those men want their partner's full attention, time and resources to be directed towards them and will only happily settle for second place if at first place is their own children. And if it's the latter, most men would want their own children to get 100% of their wife's attention and time, not settle for half of it because the woman happens to have other kids from another man. It's pure self-interest.

Dating as most things is a negotiation. A kid that is not the man's is a huge disadvantage. Most times insurmountable. They all say they want companionship, but let's be honest here. They mean the men with prestigious jobs making good money who are also quite decent looking. Everyone else doesn't really register.

Machomuk89 · 2022-03-07T01:01:11+00:00

I'm just looking for a connection with someone, not anyone to play a father figure role.

Doubt. I can't tell ya how many times I've been scolded off for pursuing something casual with a single mom who had, "seeking something casual" checked in their profiles.

Bob_and_Virginia · 2022-03-06T23:57:27+00:00

Points and laughs: Ha...ha!

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-03-07T05:46:39+00:00

It makes me laugh when single moms say they're not looking for a father for their kids, it's a complete lie. What they're looking for is someone to PAY for their child and them and not to discipline the child. She wants all the benefits without changing her life one bit, it's what they all do....and men know it now. No self-respecting man dates single mothers, they're a car wreck. Avoid them.

DrDog09 · 2022-03-07T01:03:51+00:00

Well sucks to be her, but then she probably initiated it and she did not mention any abuse. So bed making rule applies. Nor is the 'sole custody' an out. Bubba/Derek/former inmate can come over and make your life miserable regardless of the 'rules'. Who needs that S#$%^? There is finally the pecking order thing, you will always be last regardless of what she says.

I have one exception -- widows. Now one still have to do some serious red flag checks and are they over the trauma? A lot are not which can be a showstopper. Still I find a lot of widows that viable. YMMV. Not a popular opinion here, just my assessment.

PirateDocBrown · 2022-03-07T01:25:45+00:00

Once again, the single mom overlooks the homeless population.

Alternatively, since she will be available for fun once a month or so, she could be on someone's regular rotation, if she's attractive enough.

Worried-Principle580 · 2022-03-07T07:02:48+00:00

Funny how they want someone their own age once they’re older and have baggage. Were they dating men their own age when they were in their prime 20s? Doubt it somehow.

ogrilla99 · 2022-03-07T17:38:32+00:00

Women like this one are in denial about how having a child with another man instantly degrades your relationship value. Other women posted on this forum are in denial about how much weight gain affects your attractiveness. And still others are in denial about the effects of their previous promiscuity / drug use / etc, etc.

It's gotten to the point that I have to ask: in a feminist world, what *are* men allowed to choose a woman by? Here's what apparently we *can't* choose by:

looks (what, you don't like blue hair, tattoos, and nose piercings?!)
weight (don't listen to the doctors! 300lbs is totally healthy, you just can't handle a large woman!)
pre-existing children (single moms should be worshipped! They have the hardest job in the world!)
past sexual history (no slut shaming!)
crappy personality (you must be intimidated by a "strong" woman with "opinions"?)
any sort of past history: drug use, bad finances, poor career decisions, etc.

Any of these things are either to be celebrated, or, at most, if they're bad, it's because of the patriarchy and world that put these women in these situations, and they're not to blame and the fact that plenty of other women manage to side step these dilemmas has no bearing on her ability to make basic adult decisions and manage consequences for herself.

So then what are we supposed to make a decision by? I guess we're not supposed to. Instead, women have a list a mile long of all the standards that men must meet ("That's just what I like, and I'm not changing, and I'm not settling, I'm a kween!!!"). And even the men that meet those criteria are not allowed to choose among the women that want him. Instead, I guess he's just supposed to commit to the first woman that claims him?

And it gets worse. Even if they've decided you're theirs (you have no say in the matter because exercising any preference at all for certain female traits over others is misogyny), they won't actually ask you out, because, you know, being a dumb man, you may not know your place in society and might have the temerity to refuse. Instead, from the crowd of women out there, you're supposed to magically know which one has decided to be your owner, and then "court" her and hand her your dog leash and beg her to take it.

Do I have this right?

LegoJack · 2022-03-07T11:23:58+00:00

I like how she doesn't explain what she's looking for, because she actually knows her standards are way too high for what she brings to the table.

workalt2020 · 2022-03-07T04:33:34+00:00

The issue they never seem to understand is no self respecting man wants to be put second or raise someone else's kid (plus all the baggage associated with that)

People like to argue "the mom should always put their kid first", while that is true and reasonable, the realization that men don't want to be put 2nd or used for their resources is also true. Men deserve better.

YesYesYesVeryGood · 2022-03-07T05:17:30+00:00

I'm a 41M who would not date her (31F) because she has a child. I have no children and think it is fair that I ask for them same. I also have noticed that even if a woman already has a child, she will refuse to date a man with a vasectomy.

if she wants more children, that is her right, but I think she needs to start looking at men who have children.

I think it's interesting that she noted that she pays for a dating app. A lot of men do, and a lot of women don't. I get she's trying harder than most, but the kid factor is hard to beat.

DeeplyDisturbed1 · 2022-03-07T12:20:48+00:00

Read my response here.

Title	Waaaaaaaaah! No one wants to date me because I'm a single mom 😢😿 I mean, my standards are quite reasonable 😂😹 \| WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Author	loneliness-inc
Upvotes	186
Comments	139
Date	March 6, 2022 11:33 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/comments/t8bjqz/waaaaaaaaah_no_one_wants_to_date_me_because_im_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen/waaaaaaaaah-no-one-wants-to-date-me-because-im-a.1105322 https://theredarchive.com/post/1105322

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