How do you raise boys in this toxic culture?

_fvox · 2022-03-17T19:35:26+00:00

To be honest, just positive reinforcement. If society teaches him the “negatives” of himself, teach him the positives.

Adanu0 · 2022-03-17T20:32:06+00:00

If you plan on raising males in this modern age in any capacity without them going insane or having mental issues. you must have frank discussions about masculinity and men and how they're under attack in this day and age. It's just the reality.

Waiting for them to run into it on their own could take control of the initiative away from you and lead you to playing catch up. Prepare them if you can. If they don't listen, society will force the issue eventually.

Don't indoctrinate, educate. Allow your son to figure out their shit on their own while giving a grounded and humane perspective on how to keep their self worth and identity in a world that hates them for their gender.

Azihayya · 2022-03-17T22:22:02+00:00

Tell your boys that they're beautiful and kind. Read to them and support their interests. As they grow older, let them know that getting anywhere in life requires hard work--and encourage them to take their school studies seriously, and to engage in extracurricular & social activities, and invite them to the library where they can learn more about things they're interested in. Let them know that they can do anything if they have the patience and make the effort. Teach them that everyone deserves a good life, and show them how to have a good life.

42nanaimobars · 2022-03-17T20:06:47+00:00

I’ll think about things more and then respond. I had a very good upbringing.

teh_chungus · 2022-03-17T22:29:38+00:00

Teach them how to build stuff, knots, some woodcrafting, fishing, how to fix a bike, maybe some electronics once they are a bit older.

Boyscouts are cool and all, but you don't know how the people there are aligned politically.

maybe find likeminded people beforehand, with kids of similar age.

pacsatonifil · 2022-03-17T23:58:52+00:00

By being there for them and by letting them be boys. Just be a man and an example to your child. That doesn’t mean you have to e extraordinary. Just be a decent man. From experience a man in the house had a huge impact on me as a boy. I remember all the stuff we did and what he told me. It is so crazy how I can recall everything. Why? Is it because he was a man and as a boy I wanted to be like him? I don’t know. But it did help me a lot in life. So just be there for your son and teach him to be a good man. Teach him what you have learned in life. What works and what doesn’t work and what he should look out for. Look at all of us. I think there is a lot of wisdom men are sharing now. I feel hopeful about the future.

DavidByron2 · 2022-03-17T20:47:48+00:00

You have to have "the talk" just like black boys parents.

ch994y · 2022-03-18T04:01:34+00:00

I have some excellent answers for you, but they all boil down to this: teach your boys what you think masculinity is in its best light.

Teach them to be good boys who grow to be good men.

Let boys be boys!

Creative-Mammoth9199 · 2022-03-17T21:24:07+00:00

Just tell them its a bunch of spooks- tell them about how ideas dont exist, have them read descartes, teach them about greek cynicism and diogenes

zogins · 2022-03-18T00:25:53+00:00

I have a young son. Kindergarden was a mixed gender school for him but this year he will start going to elementary school and we have chosen a boys only Catholic school for him. I went to this school too. They were strict with us and we did lots of sports.

My father taught me all sorts of useful things and I'm doing the same with my son. He used to take me hunting with him and some other men. By the time I was 10 I could attach a plug to an appliance, check for a 'live' electrical appliance with an electrical tester, and I was already getting familiar with cars.

Fearless-File-3625 · 2022-03-17T20:20:57+00:00

Teach them social skills. As bad as it is, if your boys have good social skills, they would be less likely to get into troubles.

OldEgalitarianMRA · 2022-03-17T21:50:29+00:00

If your son's are anything like my son, tell him to get married and get a great job and you'll be sure he'll become a starving artist..lol.

jinladen040 · 2022-03-17T20:06:51+00:00

Limit social media, limit video games, limit television. Get them in touch with the outdoors, teach them hiking, camping, fishing, hunting, firearms etc. Get them into Sports as well, Baseball, Basketball, Football. The Cub/Boy Scouts are a great start as well, i still dont think the Boy Scouts have been too compromised but they are still operated by local chapters so some will be more condusive to raising young men more than others.

You just have to raise them in an environment that will promote problem solving and self sufficiency so they will gain natural confidence. Confidence in their thinking, appearance and actions. Definitely may want to look into Homeschooling because Public Schools in some States are a huge reason for the current demasculation of boys.

JamesChen19 · 2022-03-18T07:35:26+00:00

I partially agree and disagree that you should let your boys play sports. Certainly let them try out all the different sports, but if they say they don't enjoy it move on to the next one, and if they don't like sports in general don't force them to do it. There is a lot of toxicity in sports and this can lead to low self-esteem from things like being talked or looked down upon by the coach and the teammates. Simply put, if your son is not athletic he will develop poor self-esteem and think he is lesser than others just because he can't perform as well on the court or on the field. There are plenty of other ways to stay fit and healthy such as eating fruits & vegetables and running, working out, etc. by letting your son exercise by himself at home or around the neighborhood, or even with you. Don't think that being un-athletic means being un-healthy. There's plenty of young people that are physically fit with less-optimal hand-eye coordination or focus issues that prevent them from being as athletic as others.

Hiking and running together with your son is a great bonding experience whether you're the mother or the father.

Also, it is important for him to have a male role model by the age of 9-10 so that he has someone to rely on and talk issues of puberty with. Also, this will become critical as he matures past puberty and transitions into an adult; all young boys need a man in their lives to look up to or aspire to be like. If not, they seek male validation and support in often harmful ways (i.e. joining gangs, affiliating with crime groups), etc. Not saying your son will become a gang member if he doesn't have a father / male role model in his life but it certainly will impact his mental health if he doesn't. Also having a male role model in one's life will help him figure out what he wants to do with his life and be in this world, if the role model is something he aspires to be. If not, it will at least give him some idea of how a man should behave, treat others, and generally live their lives.

2022-03-18T03:06:28+00:00

I’ve been teaching my son that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one & they all stink.

AkatsukiGaara · 2022-03-18T04:26:53+00:00

Simple, make sure ur household is old school and cultured. Make sure they hang around peers that are raised well and have discipline but are old school as well. I guess regarding kids ima raise em somewhere in asia or middle east for a bit if i ever have em. Thats the only way i can instill discipline and an old school mentality in them, show them the realities of the world whereas in the west theyll only be brainwashed and blinded by the bullshit lie we call freedom and greatness. I wanna raise my sons in an environment that breeds tough mentalities and tough character, at the same time, a character thats built on respect, kindness, and generosity. I wanna raise my sons to be street smart as well, i want to raise them to understand the truth of this forsaken world and i want to make sure they reach mental maturity by the age of 12. I want to teach them what it is to work, to experience hard labour, side by side with me.

I wanna raise my daughters in an environment that cherishes modesty, self-respect, self-worth, dignity, and chastity alot more than what the west does. I want to raise my daughter in an environment where men cast their eyes down as she walks by out of respect. I want to raise my daughters in an environment that breeds strong willed women that grow up intelligent, educated, and street smart. I wanna make sure my daughters know the truth of this world, are raised next to good people who live like pious individuals or try to. Same with my sons.

Because im terrified of raising my kids in the west man. The west ruins the youth. It really does. I don't wanna deprive my kids of the evident beauties and oppurtunities of the west either, i just dont want them to be raised in it. I would rather introduce them into it as theyve matured, learned, and have been had their character and minds sculpted into someone respectable and dignified. Who wont do just about anything for money, who wont sleep around with women or men, who wont gamble, who wont party, who wont steal, who wont bully, who wont slack off, who wont undermine themselves, who wont grow up like a buncha sissys.

LiquidDreamtime · 2022-03-17T22:46:27+00:00

I’m a 39 yr old man and for not a single moment of my life have I been told, implicitly or explicitly, that I should be ashamed of being a boy. Wtf are you going on about?

2022-03-17T22:57:43+00:00

i wluld advise to not have any boys or girls

Darkwolf90 · 2022-03-17T23:38:02+00:00

Reinforce the fact that the only opinion that matters is their own. Being a Man doesn't mean anything other than the chromosomes they are constructed of. They are responsible for holding themselves to their own concept of the best version of themselves. It's likely at times it'll hurt but "ups" and "downs" are an inherent experience in life, we are all different. Learning is important but also to take facts with a grain of salt, knowledge/facts is only a generalist reference to it being perceived as being the most accurate estimation of truth. You can't make a solid decision if your not aware of what your options nor possible outcomes of actions are. Don't generalize simply because a thing is average in an antidotal or overall sense; It doesn't mean it's accurate nor applies in every instance. You'd have to know every factor involved as well as know how every factor involved interacts to come up with a 100% accurate conclusion. Let them be them, help them to become them.

manhatten2012 · 2022-03-18T03:19:48+00:00

I have a 13 year old son and I teach him to be proud of who he is no matter what he or she says about other men. I tell him that he has strengths and weaknesses like any other person and to acknowledge that when it comes to modern life.

I love him unconditionally and to stand proud. I say the same thing to my 12 year old daughter too.

They are different because of who they are not what they are.

From a dad

lIlIlIlIlIlIIIIIlll · 2022-03-18T04:14:36+00:00

raise them to know when to be silent and when to talk, but also to know when to defend themselves and be respectful.

Stand_Alone50 · 2022-03-18T06:50:47+00:00

Tell them they are loved and respected,you should warn them about types of people to avoid too

-Merasmus- · 2022-03-18T07:18:42+00:00

Most importantly, i think children (male or female) should be kept as far away from any kind of politics and religion. If children are told one thing from birth by everyone around them, they will never question it. This is exactly how the kkk and most extremist groups do it. Thats why it hurts me to see children at any kind of activism, even if i myself stand behind it.

Keeping politics and religion away from children untill they are old enough to make their own decisions about it, allows them to make sense of the world on their own, instead of mindlessly repeating what their parents told them.

ZidaneLoire · 2022-03-18T08:07:20+00:00

Honesty the most important thing is a male role model (or more than one) that teaches him how to handle it himself. Men have since times immemorial dealt with an unkind and physically harsh and dangerous world and it's the inspiration of other men that pushes them through it.

This can be a martial arts school, a gymn, a boys only school, boy scouts, anywhere where there's a strong male environment. Doesn't necessarily mean a male only space, although from experience, those are the best.

Jay-Ames · 2022-03-18T08:59:44+00:00

I don't have children but this my take.

By telling them the truth
By teaching then their own self worth
By teaching them how easily people follow a certain idiology without actually thinking about how it works
By teaching to them what REAL equality means.

To be honest i would teach my daughter the very same thing.

SnooLemons5609 · 2022-03-18T09:10:58+00:00

Be the best dad you can be.

Also:

https://youtu.be/qtVw3Z_4v3s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlE2tHWm7To

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-5KavBFzBg&t=145s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWw6_q1jJaA&t=9s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vK5iEkPw0bM&t=1123s

sar1562 · 2022-03-18T09:34:51+00:00

Raise dragon slayers in the age of dragons.

needs_grammarly · 2022-03-18T09:39:27+00:00

honestly, just try to teach them to be above all of that. if they ever find a partner in life, hopefully it will be someone who's above that too. best of luck

faith_crusader · 2022-03-18T11:26:06+00:00

Save money for a farm, homeschool and no mainstream entertainment.

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-03-18T11:34:37+00:00

By spending as much quality time with them as I can, re-enforcing male roles and helping them understand they don't have to listen to the feminist clap-trap all around them. I've raised them to be free thinkers, and much to my pride, they've both turned into anti-feminists. They see directly the injustice at school, where boys are treated like 2nd class citizens, treated as perverts and "toxic"...and they've rebelled against it. They tell me most of the boys at school think the same way. Of course they keep their heads down for fear of retribution from the female teachers, but long-term...they will be free.

pennywise1235 · 2022-03-18T12:48:08+00:00

The best way that you can

RecoveringCoomer · 2022-03-18T13:31:14+00:00

I don't have any kids, but if I did have boys, I would definitely:

Homeschool, unschool, open source education. A lot of the "toxic masculinity" stuff is in the education. If you get rid of that, you avoid most of the problem, and have better control over the boys' education.
Spend some quality time with them every day. Kids learn by following the example of parents. Be a good man, lead by example, and they will be kids that make you proud.
If possible, take any precaution you can possibly take, to prevent your boys taken away from you by divorce. Best to get surrogate mothers IMHO so there is no divorce. Second best is to get a good lawyer and a good pre-nup and make all assets and income part of business LLC's and offshore companies, probably even cryptocurrencies that she doesn't get a penny in divorce, and custody is %50-50 by default, including %50-50 financial contribution to all childcare expenses.
Make sure your boys understand the risks of dealing with women in an anti-male culture. Right after I hit puberty, my father had "the talk" with me, and it included a stern warning: Hottest girls that make your dick hard and give you the best pleasure in bed, are rarely the ones you want as the mother of your kids. If you let your dick do the thinking, you may get a girl pregnant and end up having to marry her and you'll most likely ruin your whole life. Never let your dick do the thinking. Today similar warnings shall include false rape accusations, anti-male divorce courts, metoo culture, and basically gynocentric society. I'd have the boys read redpill, mgtow, mra content like The Manipulated Male, as well as Your Brain On Porn as soon as they hit puberty.

infinitofluxo · 2022-03-18T14:11:59+00:00

I wish I was taught to stand up to my values, to not let myself be absorbed be self depreciation when men are seem as dangerous and aggressive people, to not believe women know better and that I should submit myself to what they want in order to be loved.

This is a hard world were only a few men succeed and have women readily available to them, while most of them have chances to find sex and people interested in them with not much effort. Kids should understand this and protect themselves from being shamed. If they can't find women that appreciate and respect them, it is better to stick to their values and be patient. Eventually they will all have to change their ways because they also need us.

Igereth · 2022-03-18T15:09:19+00:00

Have a healthy understanding of what the problems of both sexes are and teach both aka a holistic perspective and no simple black white thinking

LeoBites44 · 2022-03-18T15:16:45+00:00

You have to have very open communication so if something goes wrong, they feel comfortable sharing it with you. You must advocate for them as they are growing up and be an active parent so people know your sons have parents who love, support and back them. Encourage them to become educated and choose a profession that allows them independence to be successful. Build their confidence, surround them with positive people, talk to them about the world and how best to be successful in it. Let them know that the media spews forth a lot of negative messages from a very small percentage of people and the majority doesn’t believe in treating males unfairly. Teach them about corporate virtue signaling and political extremism. Talk to them…a lot.

Alarming_Draw · 2022-03-18T22:20:21+00:00

I often worry about this. My only idea is moving to a more rural area in the country, away from the cities and the modern toxic cancerous feminist believers. Smaller towns and rural areas thankfully have less psychos who believe in the modern toxic feminist shit. ...unless maybe its Canada...!

Title	How do you raise boys in this toxic culture?
Author	Consistent-Dare8455
Upvotes	173
Comments	86
Date	March 17, 2022 7:07 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/tghoyc/how_do_you_raise_boys_in_this_toxic_culture/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-you-raise-boys-in-this-toxic-culture.1107090 https://theredarchive.com/post/1107090

Comments