I have mentioned on FDS before that a guy I met (he goes to another college out of state in NYC) and I have been in very light contact. He visited my college for his spring break this past weekend. I met him 2 months ago through a mutual at my college because he was visiting his friend. He asked me ahead of time what days he should visit (he stayed with his friend.)
The first date: He booked a date reservation at a nice restaurant days ahead of time before he came and confirmed it again with me a day before. I went into the date calm and with the mindset “I am the prize.. do I like him? I know I’m a catch and bring a lot to the table. Does he value it?”
He was a gentleman — I didn’t touch a door, he kept refilling my water, and he obviously paid for everything (he was very generous). It was a pretty expensive dinner since we ordered a lot. I personally hate silence so I usually try to fill it with something to say but I made it a mission to not do that on the date so I could let him lead the conversation, which he did when I didn’t try to keep coming up with things to talk about. On the date, he said he was glad he got to see me.
We came back to my apartment after the date JUST to see my 4 other roommates and others that were there. They were all socializing and getting ready to go out. I was cleaning after them when they left and he helped me clean without asking. He also carried a heavy box for me when I needed to grab it from my car (as he should).
Where do I go from here?
He and I have a lot in common: - both have future in the same city - come from Italian family (both pretty family oriented) - same religion & political views - Same values (neither of us are promiscuous and are very driven and goal-oriented) - We also agreed we both would wanna be in nyc for younger 20s not to raise a family. (It was lightly mentioned) - Not super into social media - both very into hygiene and kind of ocd about being clean
I truly have not spotted any red flags so far even though I was hyper fixated on spotting them.
Except he is a little hard to read sometimes through his facial expression and my friends agreed with me. He’s a little shy but it’s still hard to tell sometimes (maybe just bad resting bitch face). My friends all said throughout the weekend they could tell he liked me and was really trying. I know it’s not me because he said I could carry a conversation pretty well.
My roommate was grilling him before with questions about what we ordered from the date and he finally told her “I spent a lot of money to make sure we had a nice dinner and I really like your friend.” (I wasn’t there). Then when we went out one night, my other roommate said “so when she moves to New York…” and he said “yes I’d love to keep seeing her.” He also saw I was texting my mom and said “Texting your mom? Does she know about me?” And I just laughed and brushed it off. He also was saying “we won’t see each other for a few months again..” and I said I’ll be up there in a couple of months and that these 2 months since we’ve seen each other last have gone by fast.
When the morning came for him to leave, he took me out to breakfast and then dropped me back at my place so he could drive back home. Except he didn’t say anything concerning us or about continuing. He honestly spent more time with me than his friend this weekend (they spent time together back in their hometown the week before.) He said he had a fun time. When he dropped me, I thanked him for dinner and breakfast and said that I was sure I’d see him again. I’m just confused on where we leave off. I know we’ve only been on 2 dates, but it’s a little more complicated since we are basically long distance until I move to the city. I’m not really into keeping a roster because finding a man isn’t a huge priority right now. This situation kind of just fell into my lap. He tells my friends how he feels but not to me .. but his actions obviously show effort and interest. He was extremely respectful the whole weekend.
What should I do for clarity? Just continue how we contacted each other before and see how it pans out?
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