This was on my LinkedIn feed with hundreds of likes and positive comments about how clever and hilarious it was.

“The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship to her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious and genius!

The query: Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed: Desperate

The response (that came weeks later out of the blue)…

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.

Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download Snoring Loudly Beta version.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.

In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.

Good Luck Tech Support 🤣”

[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 547 points548 points549 points 4 years ago (27 children) | Copy Link

[–]jingks_FDS Newbie[S] 334 points335 points336 points 4 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]SayNadFDS STRATEGY COACH 213 points214 points215 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]all_or_nothing_betFDS Apprentice 57 points58 points59 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AnExpensiveDesire 17 points18 points19 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ShegoGreenFDS Newbie 47 points48 points49 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Biracial_tooth_fairyFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]millennialpink2000FDS Apprentice 151 points152 points153 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]ArugulaIsAwesomeFDS Disciple 54 points55 points56 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]millennialpink2000FDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]spinsterchachkiesFDS Disciple 0 points1 point2 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]AnExpensiveDesire 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]millennialpink2000FDS Apprentice 5 points6 points7 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Platipus6FDS Disciple 19 points20 points21 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 12 points13 points14 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]18hourbruhFDS Newbie 69 points70 points71 points 4 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]Mighty_Wombat42FDS Newbie 32 points33 points34 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think FDS advocates for quick marriages, we do advocate for thorough vetting before major commitment. The timeline stuff is mostly to avoid becoming a “forever gf” and it can vary depending on your goals. If you’re in your 20s and don’t want to marry until you’re done with school or established in your career, a man who is a HVM for you will respect your timeline and continue to pursue/show interest without trying to force commitment before you’re ready. Likewise, if you’re an older retired woman and have been divorced or widowed, you might not ever want to remarry if you like living on your own and want to leave all of your estate to your own children. A HVM for that woman will likely be on the same page and good with frequent dates, traveling together, and otherwise being “together apart” but this woman isn’t a “forever gf” because she’s not sitting around waiting for a proposal/marriage that the guy has no intention of giving her. The idea is to avoid situations where you’re ready to marry, been dating for years, he promises to propose, years go by and he doesn’t. At that point it’s an indicator that he doesn’t want to marry you and he’s stringing you along wasting your time.

I don’t think FDS is incompatible with women who want a longer vetting period or who don’t ever wish to marry. That being said, I personally would strongly advise any woman to not move in with a guy or have kids with him unless you’re married. You’re right that women lose out the most in a bad marriage. But we can often lose more by becoming financially entertained or having kids with a guy when we don’t have the legal protections offered by marriage. Ultimately it’s about knowing the risks and doing what is best for you (and your kids if you have any) with each woman’s individual situations and goals.

[–]18hourbruhFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 4 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link

Good points and great perspective. I’m honestly so glad I posted this cause it’s nice to hear how y’all think about it. Everything you’re saying makes sense to me. And I can’t agree more that having kids is the most high risk endeavor to do with a man, and can definitely be a nightmare when with a man who’s not relationship oriented. (But again, marriage certainly does not guarantee that a man is going to be a decent father.)

Eta: “ The idea is to avoid situations where you’re ready to marry, been dating for years, he promises to propose, years go by and he doesn’t. At that point it’s an indicator that he doesn’t want to marry you and he’s stringing you along wasting your time.” I definitely do get this, it is real and I understand why FDS takes it seriously. I just wish those women in general would wise up about marriage as victory. That kind of guy isn’t going to be better as a husband than he is as a boyfriend. Lol I’m not sure if anyone here will get this but this was just so validated with a terrible reality tv couple I watch ending their sad ultimatum marriage (Katie and Schwartz from vanderpump rules).

[–]Mighty_Wombat42FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Agreed, that’s why it’s important to never stop vetting. Marriage isn’t a guarantee of a man’s continued good character, fidelity, or even presence in your/your kids life. All it is is a guarantee of certain legal protections from the state in the event that you missed red flags or a LVM’s mask slips. Again, for some women those protections may be unnecessary now or ever, but for others especially mothers it’s vital.

I think we women are socialized to see marriage not just as the Disney romantic thing, but also as something we need to do, like the idea that you need to be able to keep a man to prove your womanhood. The backlash to this is rejecting marriage entirely because of its historical roots in patriarchy. But the reality is that modern marriage looks very different from historical marriage, and either marrying too soon/to the wrong person or avoiding marriage entirely despite being highly committed to your partner can be harmful to women.

[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 41 points42 points43 points 4 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]18hourbruhFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 4 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 26 points27 points28 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I think you're putting too much emphasis on the "timeframe" part. If 1-2 years is too short for you, then obviously that timeframe does not work for you. Take as long as you need/feel comfortable with, but he has to be showing YOU that he is moving the relationship forward. So if marriage/engagement is not what you are comfortable with by 1-2 years, then it will need to be something else. What that has to be will be up to you. But know that the longer you wait and the longer you let him get away without moving forward/making a commitment to you, the longer your chances of being a forever gf. If marriage is not what you want, then obviously being a forever gf is ok with you, which would mean it is not a bad thing if it's what you want.

Another thing is... Idk how old you are. So if you are young, then sure, maybe the 1-2 year timeframe scares you and you're not ready for that kind of thing. But for adult men and women 35+? They absolutely know when they know. It's not a scary or unusual timeframe. Anyone who is serious and marriage oriented will be ready in 1-2 years.

[–]18hourbruh3 points 4 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]all_or_nothing_betFDS Apprentice 195 points196 points197 points 4 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Platipus6FDS Disciple 29 points30 points31 points 4 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]spinsterchachkiesFDS Disciple 4 points5 points6 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]shelballamaFDS Newbie 48 points49 points50 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]millennialpink2000FDS Apprentice 39 points40 points41 points 4 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Keepers12345FDS Newbie 2 points3 points4 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]SolunaJuneFDS Newbie 18 points19 points20 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Biracial_tooth_fairyFDS Newbie 14 points15 points16 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ShegoGreenFDS Newbie 23 points24 points25 points 4 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	This was on my LinkedIn feed with hundreds of likes and positive comments about how clever and hilarious it was.
Author	jingks_
Upvotes	372
Comments	33
Date	March 31, 2022 5:00 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tt4bzw/this_was_on_my_linkedin_feed_with_hundreds_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/this-was-on-my-linkedin-feed-with-hundreds-of.1109261 https://theredarchive.com/post/1109261

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