How do you deal with losing your virginity to a man then being alpha widowed by him?

LivelyLychee · 2022-04-22T21:50:33+00:00

Keep in mind that examples from fiction, music, and pop culture are not allowed here. We don’t know anything about what really happened because we aren’t a part of their relationship, and we don’t know what’s been sensationalized or completely fabricated by the artist or the media for the sake of art or entertainment.

I’m keeping this post up because it raises an interesting question, but next time please refrain from using entertainment as a basis for these posts.

LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-04-22T15:25:15+00:00

Ideally, you make sure not to have sex until marriage especially if virginity is important to you. If you do end up losing your virginity and having regret, if it is affecting you as seriously as it did Taylor Swift you go to therapy instead of being miserable for years and years. Take a break from dating, reflect on your values and where you went wrong, adjust your behavior moving forward. It’s important to guard your womb, at least for most women, I know some women are more sexually liberal and don’t care as much.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-04-22T15:28:17+00:00

You accept that (1) you aren’t suddenly damaged just because your body count increased from 0 to 1.

I get it. I saved my virginity for a guy who was special to me and it was important to me that he be my only relationship. Right now I’m waiting on results for an STI test because I have the hallmark symptoms and if I test positive, it means my husband is cheating. I lost my virginity to him. He is my only sexual partner. I have had to face the potential reality that if my marriage falls apart, and I go out and date again, I will have a sexual history. Also a history of STIs.

Oh well.

(2) Learn what red flags you missed in the previous relationship and work on avoiding those in the future. Work on bettering yourself emotionally and mentally. Pursue therapy if you need to.

But don’t let yourself get wrapped up in your negative emotions and start pursuing drama and toxic relationships just to deal with your pain. Too many people think it’s okay to deal with their pain by going out and having a ton of casual sex, flings, etc.

Then they wonder why they never truly healed and they can’t maintain a serious relationship.

Don’t deal with your damage by becoming more damaged.

saddensgirl · 2022-04-22T17:14:30+00:00

This happened to me. If I could go back in time I really would have waited til I was married to have sex, instead of falling down a rabbit hole of self destruction for a few months.

Glad-Discount-4761 · 2022-04-23T03:30:33+00:00

Sorry for my bad english and rant as I felt like sharing here.

But I think I got alpha Widowed twice.( Not sure if this count as alpha widow)

First one,the guy I dated during my college and post- college days.He had nothing when I dated him.Then he got successful,told me he love me but don't see me as wife.I got hurt.I started getting resentment for him as I am very jealous and tempered person.Then I got into redpill.But I didn't took it seriously.I was just there to learn why he left me as I heard redpill explain truth about male and female nature.Then I found out that his smv is getting high while mine is going down.Thats one of the reason.I still have that resentment as I kind of have low-self-esteem.After break up,I thought ,"fuck him" and let just keep my baggage away and focus on improving myself.

After year,I met guy I liked.I loved how he passionate he was about his work,his drive and we had common values.We started dating.This was my second relationship.It was going well.I read some( not all) rpw sidebar and followed it.He really liked how masculine I made him feel.He wanted to raise own family and be provider.Sadly I got some infertility issues.I couldn't give him kids.So relationship ended but he was respectful to me and took his full responsibility after break up.He sometimes used to call me how I am doing now and if I need some help.He started dating 19 about to turn 20 years old woman,after her graduation,they got married and now have kid. This is first time I got real heartbreak.I also felt so unfeminie( I don't know why)

How I dealt with all these?

Truth is I am still dealing with it.I don't move on easily(My pool of men is probably getting to none due to my age.I have masculine or square like face so aging is fast for me)Whole one year was spend on me crying to let all my feelings out.That infertility I got,I am taking some precautions and medicines and go to doctor for check ups.I do some exercises and skincare.It helps.

I go to alone walk in quite place with my hoodie on and let my thoughts run on my mind,eat some nice foods from restaurant.

This may be weird but I love collecting rings of different designs.It brings me some comfort.I have collected 56 rings now( sorry for bragging lol).

itsmemaggi · 2022-04-22T15:42:42+00:00

Barring any religious fixations on celibacy (and I say this as a religious person who entered marriage as a virgin), I think men are mostly looking for women with a low body count, not necessarily zero body count. Your value is still there.

I don't know a lot about Taylor Swift, but I would argue that maybe going about things the way she did maybe wasn't the greatest way to heal. She's had quite the string of men.

Quealpedoestoy · 2022-04-22T17:39:12+00:00

they dated seriously for a couple of months, he met her dad, she fell in love and he convinced her to have sex. Then he abruptly ended things, saying she was “too young”.

Why do you think he had to manipulate her to "give it up"?

The guy met her family, thats dating serious in my book, if he wanted a pump and dump he wouldnt have been with her for months, specially someone as famous and good looking as Jake, he can have as many pumps and dumps as he wants.

Considering the recurring themes in Taylor songs (how she speaks of men and her exes while never taking acountability), maybe he got tired of her and decided to cut things off.

2022-04-23T11:26:38+00:00

We don’t know what really happened with Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal. He might have loved her and given their relationship a fair shot but it just didn’t work. If it makes you feel better, most people’s first times aren’t great. The best way to heal is to find someone you love and enjoy sex with.

chowchowfluff · 2022-04-22T23:55:52+00:00

Your worth is not your virginity, let’s just get that out of the way…you don’t become a worthless women just because you’re no longer a virgin.

Emotionally Intelligent people would recognize their pain, the cause, and learn from it then move on - becoming smarter in the process and continuing on a healthy mental path of respecting themselves enough to not jump in bed with someone else just to heal their wounds. The relationship vetting process that should be happening prior to sexual activity would mean you tried your best, it didn’t work, you learn and move on and do better with the next relationship.

Lanky_Application414 · 2022-04-22T20:26:06+00:00

Genuine advice: do not keep your virginity. So many women do that until marriage/wedding and then discover they are completely incompatible with a man they are marrying. If your man is pressuring you to keep it until marriage that’s a big red flag and something is wrong. There are dozens of stories on the internet of women having first sex on their wedding night with their man and then discovering they have some kid of medical condition like micropenis or erectile dysfunction or discovering their man can’t keep it up because of potential hidden homosexuality.

Statistically women who jump into marriage as virgins have higher chance to cheat then experienced women. That’s mostly because they don’t have enough experience to evaluate if their husband is good in bed or not, so they naturally are curious and commit affair.

Overall, don’t worry about virginity at all. It’s a made up concept that just exists in your head

32vromeo · 2022-04-22T21:57:09+00:00

I think realistically, most guys are happy with a girl with a low body count. It kinda sucks because the “alpha widow” part will always be there but you’ll never be able to change that. Just learn from it and recognize the next guy will be better

2022-04-23T06:02:07+00:00

I have never in my life read something more obviously written by a man lmao

Title	How do you deal with losing your virginity to a man then being alpha widowed by him?
Author	Silent-Okra-4258
Upvotes	46
Comments	54
Date	April 22, 2022 2:59 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/u9gnij/how_do_you_deal_with_losing_your_virginity_to_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-you-deal-with-losing-your-virginity-to-a.1111611 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111611

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