This argument is quite popular nowadays, but in my experience it seems quite oddly repetitive in the way it's mentioned by feminists that those men's rights activists don't really care about men, and actually it's feminists who do. It seems all those people who use it, have read the same ‘source’ article and produce variances of it in different media.
It is interesting to note that whenever this idea is shared, lots of women flock to comment “finally someone said this, thank god” and rarely men.
I specifically mean for heterosexual cisgender men, it is quite evident that through their tone and nonverbal attitude, feminists deeply hate and resent men.
Let's get clear on this, there's a lot more to communication than what's being verbally spoken.
They also seem to dominate over the entire mental health discussion globally, and their hostile attitude doesn't help. It seems all ‘softness’ is reserved for them and they are the flag bearers of what ‘emotional vulnerability’ should mean. That is, it should be consistent with their politics.
I feel scared of feminists as a young man. They want to tell me that I'm privileged simply for existing, and I should accept their micro-aggressions even though I did nothing to deserve that simply for being a man.They want me to accept the so-called “ironic misandry” and support it, simply for being a man.
They want to shame me, and for most of my teenage life, I have been bullied by such people, yet again they have stolen the word ‘bully’ and defined it in such a way, that it cannot apply to my condition simply because they don't want to deal with its implications.
As a young boy, I was vulnerable and they influenced me a lot. I was deeply ashamed of my masculinity because the belief that it in its totality was toxic and shameful, and predatory, and dangerous.
Their emotional baggage of personal experience with toxic men, being pushed on me. I learnt caretaking behavior and developed the ‘nice guy syndrome’.
Again I find the term slightly insulting, and for valid reasons. English is not my first language, and there's no equivalent of the word in my native language, but the condition, even if that may not be a clinical term, is real. It helps me understand myself.
But if I may clarify, a lot of the shaming that comes along with it is unnecessary and charged with visibly cunning release of their personal frustrations, when they want me to feel ashamed and guilty, and gaslighted. Funnily, even this word is defined in culture as something only a man can do to a woman. I'm not talking about what's written in the dictionaries.
Whenever I googled stuff about the nice guy thing and discussed with people, I was told I am being manipulative, I was an asshole, covert narcissist, and whatnot. This damaged me even further, my self esteem was already low, and these apparently complex blows to my moral character made me hate myself even more. In fact a whole year was spent when my therapist tried really hard to convince me that I had no such issues, and I was being honest and sincere, and was abused and gaslighted by people because I was a bit naive.
I cannot talk about everything in this post, because that's a lot of difficult emotions to unpack, and Reddit is not a good place for that.
I received a lot of support from men's advocates, and I also saw that what they tell me were better, evident descriptions of reality, which helped me make sense of my personal experiences. We don't live in a sweet world. I am not a closeted privileged asshole. There was more honesty and close to no pretense in what I got from there. I should have listened to my male friends, male relatives who live in the real world, rather than social media and closed special areas. They gave me the right guidance and supported working on myself without seeking women's approval.
Feminists on the other hand write articles on the internet and promote ideas which communicate nonverbal resentment against me, and only made me hate myself, and forget about my needs in order to caretake other people. They think men working on themselves is misogyny. Men should never care about themselves first. Their lives should revolve around women and walking on eggshells.
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