I wish i would have waited until my kids were _____ years old before I got divorced.

Bipolar_investor · 2022-07-15T01:29:07+00:00

Below 4 years old for me. They open their conscious eyes to separated parents.

Grousers · 2022-07-15T02:51:31+00:00

Mine were 2 and 5. Tough, but I finally get to be a dad without harsh criticism. No, dished don’t get done, and clothes lay on the floor sometimes. But we laugh and smile every day

thestormyeffect · 2022-07-15T13:59:29+00:00

It’s not the age of the child that matters most but how the parents act durning and afterwards

WartimeDad · 2022-07-15T01:29:20+00:00

The younger the better. The consequences are much worse for a child to be around parents that aren’t happy or filling their potential. Yes it’s hard on them. But so is staying and feeling tension in the air.

Every situation is unique.

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-07-15T10:10:15+00:00

Kids are more resilient than you think.

BobQuasit · 2022-07-15T02:23:49+00:00

My son was 13 or so when his mother and I got divorced. I kind of suspect that I hung on until then because he was able to handle it better. But every kid and every divorce was different.

CRobinsFly · 2022-07-15T11:56:00+00:00

I'm on the <1yr old path, 3mo in.

I feel down about it a lot but ultimately at the end of the day, my life should be better and I have ~17 years to enjoy with my daughter. My ex was making me pay CS even before we divorced so should be a reasonably improvement for me financially.

jalopkoala · 2022-07-15T17:12:06+00:00

None of us would choose to have a failed marriage. But divorced when my kid was 3. Now my kid is 8. Seems like 3 was better than what my kid was like at 3, 5, 6, 7, and 8.

My own parents divorced when I was 22. They separated for a few months when I was 6 and then got back together. I wanted them to get a divorce my whole childhood. While not preferable to two parents who work together in their marriage, divorce would have been preferable to what I had to deal with as a child.

Divorce is plan B. But forcing a kid to grow up in a shitty marriage shouldn’t be anyone’s plan.

TheBoyBand · 2022-07-15T02:22:10+00:00

For me under four however and unfortunately its happening in their teens but they will be fine and be able to discern right from wrong and formulate their own thought process what really went down AND be able to learn from both of our mistakes. HOPEFULLY they will able to pick the right woman not one that just takes.

Jonger1150 · 2022-07-15T03:13:58+00:00

I have a type 1 diabetic son, he's 11.

Overall he's doing well with it, but my lack of access and her poor care (I keep her on task) stresses me out.

There are many times I wish I rode it out 5 more years and that was 2 years ago.

I have 50% custody.

Significant-Bother-1 · 2022-07-15T12:21:34+00:00

I wish I had done it earlier. My kid is 4 now, last year would have been much less of an impact on him.

SudetenNachkomme · 2022-07-15T13:33:51+00:00

0 years. Wish I had never married their mother to begin with. But - I got the divorce finalized when they were 2 and 8 months, respectively, so thankfully they’ll never remember the horrible things their mother would do in front of them to their dad.

Unfortunately they in all likelihood will remember the horrible things she’s doing to her new boyfriend, but 🤷🏻‍♂️ …

Rivet22 · 2022-07-15T14:41:29+00:00

I wanted to stay married until the 3 were 18, and it was a mistake. What a bad example we have set.

TraditionalThing8279 · 2022-07-15T11:25:25+00:00

My son was 3. He was sad I was gone according to the ex and he still is, but it would have been worse if he was older.

degs35 · 2022-07-16T00:23:47+00:00

I don't think there's a specific age that I would have waited for. My oldest kids are old enough to remember fun times with me and their mom and they are still sad about me not being home. I have regrets about my youngest never having those family experiences. My stepson was just committed to the psych ward for trying to hurt himself. It's a total cluster fuck. But my ex wife is textbook bipolar narcissist and I realized that I couldn't live with her for my own health and sanity. When you know it's time, you shouldn't wait.

YourFixJustRuinsIt · 2022-07-16T01:52:32+00:00

I have a good sample. 2 we’re just past 18 and one was 10. The younger has dealt with it better than the “adults”.

divorcedredeemed · 2022-07-18T21:22:52+00:00

The only one that is suffering is you. Your unhappiness transfers to your kids. Never stay for the kids. Waiting only delays the inevitable and draws out the pain and suffering.

dandanmoo0 · 2022-07-22T05:31:24+00:00

As someone who grew up with unhappy parents who hated each other

It's never too late or too soon, your kids may be impacted and that is a fact but it's better than being mentally broken because of parents being toxic to each other in front of a child

Title	I wish i would have waited until my kids were _____ years old before I got divorced.
Author	RedditDude07467
Upvotes	7
Comments	28
Date	July 15, 2022 1:21 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vzby4w/i_wish_i_would_have_waited_until_my_kids_were/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-wish-i-would-have-waited-until-my-kids-were-.1123770 https://theredarchive.com/post/1123770

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