How do you guys find a wife who’s not always entertaining attention from other men?

whizewhan · 2022-10-25T16:56:53+00:00

This may also be in part because of your age. Women and men both pull less shit as we get older and more aware of how shitty this is

squincherella · 2022-10-25T16:06:27+00:00

I grew up thinking relationships where people stayed together, didn’t flirt with others, didn’t cheat, stayed loyal and lifted eachother up was the norm. Then when I was about 26 I found Reddit and the relationship sub, and it was a big shock to me that people fight about issues like that and that loyalty is such a huge problem. Im about to turn 33 and my world has drastically changed since then, but it’s still incredibly sad to me that this seems to be the way it actually is in the world, as opposed to what I am used to. Stuff like that was unheard of. A relationship like you’re describing you want is completely the norm where I come from. Maybe you need different surroundings, look to meet girls in different kind of places, girls with a different type of upbringing even? I hope you end up with someone as loyal to you as you are to them!

ActPsychological8189 · 2022-10-25T15:18:31+00:00

Hold yourself well and get a misanthropic woman.

My girl hates people, period.; she gets hit on a good amount when out on her own, but she hates it, she just wants to be left alone. Get a gal whose the opposite of gregarious.

If you hold yourself well and exhume confidence and conviction, most women will respect it and not look for others.

BigSlappySandwitch · 2022-10-25T17:24:54+00:00

Id like a bit of a better light into your definition of this inappropriate behavior you have seen before I say too much, but having boundaries is a natural part of a relationship.

Flirting with members of the opposite gender when you are in a relationship is a pretty obvious boundary to most. It's a huge red flag if it's in front of you. But be careful to check yourself if it is friendly behavior or flirting. Again you have to define to yourself and your partner what that is.

Biggest aid I've found is be straight up about what your sensitivities are, and own some of them as such. The message of "I feel like shit when this happens" vs "women shouldn't do this" will hit completely differently.

Being honest early into talking to a woman like this may end things early, but it also saves you a lot of time if you can't see eye to eye on this or come to see kind of agreement.

ebony-mori · 2022-10-25T15:15:06+00:00

It depends on what you mean by deliberate constraint around men.

If this is reasonable, such as no flirting, then you just have to find the right person and establish your personal definitions of cheating right from the start.

SnooChipmunks3163 · 2022-10-25T17:28:49+00:00

I am married women and i support your preference. I will advice you to look for a women who has good relationships with their fathers or generally good opinions of men. Avoid women who say „all men are shit“ those are the ones who yearn for the men‘s attention the most. Women who have men around her who treated her well don’t have that scarcity mindset and won’t be flirtatious around other men. My girl friends respect men and like men in general and yet they are all loyal to their husbands. Our husbands are very attentive and overall very good husbands though. So to attract and keep these kind of women you have to retain your relationship with her. They have high standards but they wont blabber like other women who instantly demand high standards. Good women are more subtle about it but they watch you very closely. Good luck

morfeuzz · 2022-10-25T16:52:18+00:00

With insta and of .. it has Brain washed the society for attention and it is a dopamine kick ..the key parameter I use is minimal social presence .. and ofcourse values it is not easy but all you can do is try .

One-Low8135 · 2022-10-25T16:22:36+00:00

They do exist! But you might need a passport at the moment... or maybe go to one of those flyover states. Modern women are taught to be hyper-hypergamous and be the "most free" version of themselves. At 26 years old, I'd focus on myself to get to a financial/emotional/experience vantage point in order to recognize when the right one comes to your life. Good luck!

Acrobatic-Title1504 · 2022-10-25T15:47:46+00:00

Hold yourself accountable and communicate your needs . I need a more conservative lady for a long term relationship . Yes your getting sht tested and no not every lady is the right one . She could be the right one for a period of time but dont get fooled into marriage. And please dont look for a wife in a bar or a night club or dare i say friend groups . You should look into meetups churches and libraries

Clungesnitzel95 · 2022-10-25T16:45:19+00:00

Figure out where your relationships have started. Where you met/how you met. Try something different.

Also consider the your age and theirs. Women/men don't necessarily want to be tied down and devoted in their 20s.

Metraxis · 2022-10-25T16:58:05+00:00

If you have a particular want/need, communicate. Be upfront about it. Respect your time and hers by not hiding it. You certainly are not guaranteed to find what you are looking for, but this is the only way you will find it.

If you find yourself wanting to hide your preference, or you find you can't come up with a way of explaining it without sounding like an asshole, then be open to the idea that your want is unreasonable. MHRAs recognize that women who want to isolate their partners from all social contact with other women are abusive, and that door does swing both ways.

thealphateam · 2022-10-25T17:02:40+00:00

Tell them right up front it's not acceptable. I was dating a chick who tried to shit test me. I told her straight up. That is your one shit test, another one will be completely unacceptable. Never happened again. I set my boundaries and she accepted.

Potential-Use7862 · 2022-10-25T16:10:19+00:00

I know where... Just past unicorn land

Catch-the-Rabbit · 2022-10-25T17:11:33+00:00

I need some examples of what you're talking about. Bc that will determine my opinion.

CawlinAlcarz · 2022-10-25T15:51:39+00:00

You're going to hate my answer, but I promise you I am giving it with compassion and sincere, honest concern for you behind it. However, the things I am about to say to you aren't going to feel very good to hear.

I am assuming you're speaking about dating women approximately your age or younger - you said you are 26. Women in this age group are a nearly unmitigated disaster. Some of this is about prefrontal cortex development, some of it is about the current state of institutional entitlement of women.

These women are "too comfortable" around other guys for either or both of the following reasons:

She's just not that into you - but into you enough that you are a decent option for her if she strikes out in her efforts to monkey branch.
She's shit-testing you to see what you'll tolerate and then how you'll react when you tell her you won't stand for it and she calls you insecure/jealous. The only way to win the shit test game is not to play it. You tell her where you stand on the first transgression of this nature, and if she gives you any flack about it, or repeats it after you've made your feelings known, cut her loose.

Either way, smart money is on her body count increasing by more than you WHILE she's dating you.

If you want my honest opinion on the matter, I'd say forego seriously dating women under 30 except under some VERY specific circumstances.

If you find a woman that agrees with you about concepts of loyalty and cheating and flirting and spending inordinate amounts of time with members of the opposite sex. If that woman has true genuine desire for you*, has the same life goals and beliefs as you do with regard to fidelity, marriage, family, career, politics, social issues, etc. THEN and ONLY THEN consider dating her seriously.

If you cannot find that woman at your age who meets those prerequisites, then use this time to work on yourself - your career, your physique, your investments, chase excellence, plan your work, and work your plan. As far as women are concerned, this is the time for sport fucking at most, until/unless you find the one who is genuinely on the same page as you. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND ALL MANKIND PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU DON'T CONCEIVE ANY CHILDREN DURING THIS TIME "BY ACCIDENT". You ABSOLUTELY need to take 100% agency and responsibility for your reproduction while you're sport fucking (and in truth, for your whole life). Wrap that rascal and don't make any babies you don't mean to. DO NOT TRUST ANY WOMAN YOU ARE SPORT FUCKING WHEN IT COMES TO BIRTH CONTROL. TAKE CONTROL OF THIS YOURSELF 100%.

Your 20s are only laying the groundwork for your future. There's no sense chasing bullshit when you can be chasing excellence. If you spend your time chasing women, you may or may not find "the one", but chances are that your future goals of career and success may never materialize or will at least be significantly delayed. However, if you chase success, you give yourself a much better chance to achieve your goals and be successful, and when that happens, you won't have to chase women, they'll be chasing you.

*Regarding true genuine desire - this is expressed with sex and with her interactions with members of the opposite sex. If she is flirting with other guys, or spending long hours talking alone with them, on the phone with exes, or so-called "platonic" guy friends, she does not have true genuine desire for you. If the sex suddenly dries up and frequency drops dramatically off and she isn't willing to discuss why and isn't willing to work on improving it, she doesn't have true genuine desire for you. If you know she had wild sex with guys in her past - things like oral or anal, but won't do those things with you, she does not have true genuine desire for you. Chances are that if you get in a LTR with such a woman, she'll go and have that kind of sex with men she DOES have true genuine desire for.

tacobellbandit · 2022-10-25T18:35:06+00:00

My wife doesn’t entertain it but I’ve been through countless relationships with women who did entertain other guys advances and honestly that’s a reason why my wife is my wife. It’s a simple sign of respect. I wouldn’t entertain other women if I’m in a committed relationship, and I have same expectation of respect from whoever I date to do the same. If that’s too much of a problem okay, we can still date but you’re not wife material in my eyes. Know your worth, and set healthy boundaries, also “entertaining” other guys in my definition is things that would be knowingly romantic/sexual whatever. You can’t be so insecure that even just talking to someone is “entertaining” them. I mean genuine “hey I know this guys hitting on me and I’m going to continue to talk him without saying no”

Alarming_Draw · 2022-10-25T19:01:44+00:00

Modern feminism encourages women to be sluts. There it is. I said it.

Yet when you look at feminism, it doesnt even deny this. Its only controversial to say because I am a male saying it.

It tells women to not value being faithful, not to value being respectful. It tells women to expect all men to be faithful to them, and to expect all men to be respectful to them.

Its basically hyopcritical narcissism.

klouted_pollo · 2022-10-25T19:32:20+00:00

Most women are insecure will dress provactive and love the attention of other men unless she really dedicated to you. It’s just reality

Great-Flan-5896 · 2022-10-25T19:42:07+00:00

This world is'nt designed for loyalty there are unicorns though I'm sure.

TraehNoil · 2022-10-25T21:58:52+00:00

Why was this removed? This is a legit question. The answer is you can’t. Not in America anyway.

CreepyPassage69 · 2022-10-25T15:44:37+00:00

Yes, communication is obviously necessary, try saying that you're not comfortable with your girlfriend spending time, or being "friends", with other guys, as we all know what it means, I'm sure there are still lots of decent women who would understand, as for the ones who wouldn't - seems like it's not your preferable kind.

Also, I guess it makes sense to try your luck with more religious and/or conservative women, yeah, this might be a bit painful if you're not religious yourself, but maybe worth a shot...

Somewhereovertherai · 2022-10-25T17:12:39+00:00

It is fine to want that, but if she shows restrain around other guys you must do the same around other girls. If you don’t do that you would be an entitled asshole

EvidencePlz · 2022-10-25T16:00:52+00:00

Why don't you tell her what you just wrote here?

Stand_kicker · 2022-10-25T18:16:56+00:00

Simple, I date women, not girls.

Huffers1010 · 2022-10-25T18:35:02+00:00

Depends what you mean by comfort around other guys.

My partner of more than fifteen years does a very stereotypically masculine job which constantly surrounds her with men. Obviously, anyone in that position is going to have friends at work. What else would anyone expect? Totally normal.

Security comes with time in the relationship. When it's all very new, I get it. But after fifteen years, yes, I feel more secure, so until and unless I walk in on her getting a foot-rub from someone...

Koliosis · 2022-10-25T18:52:44+00:00

Unless your former partners were actually disloyal it’s kind of insane to me that you would ask your partner to “restrain themselves” in normal conversations with normal people. Are they actually flirting? Are they going out of their way to seek this attention? Otherwise it sounds kind of crazy to me.

Antarkian · 2022-10-25T19:30:15+00:00

I have noticed that went from other countries can sometimes have more attractive life values as well as many seem to be more reserved. I 100% agree that western women are.....let's just saying a bit too open with certain things. Many are not wife material for a good man. I've found dating women from other nationalities is an excellent way to explore different values that can be much more attractive to me personally. NOW, I know travelling isn't am option for many, but there are often women who immigrated or move here . And oddly enough I've met some gorgeous women, who have amazing values and are willing to really be part of your life rather than just endless dick hopping around town. Also...not aay8ng all western women are like this, typically it's just ones with a particular political standpoint...but loyalty with many seems to be becoming less and less common

2022-10-25T19:59:20+00:00

The reoccurring theme here is girls keep cucking you, and that ain’t it cuzzie.

You’re probably really nice, even financially stable perhaps, but there’s just something missing in the equation. My guess is confidence and physical stature.

You should lift heavy for the next 12 months. Get your self some one nighters down along the way but nothing serious or committed, your focus should be you and only you until then.

MaiaTai27 · 2022-10-25T20:10:03+00:00

Definitely as you get older you realise more than you can't control anything so worrying about it is wasting time, energy and life. I do avoid women who say "I only have male friends because they're easier to get along with" though.

TC_2312 · 2022-10-25T22:09:59+00:00

Kind of sucks this got removed before I could formulate a decent response.

Good luck in your ventures, man.

Dollfaceh · 2022-10-28T11:04:33+00:00

The trick is not making her your wife before you’re sure she doesn’t do that 🙃 I could ask the same thing about men. Questions like this are a dime a dozen cuz EVERYONE entertaining everyone today. Throw away culture.

RedneckTurtle0322 · 2022-10-25T15:29:06+00:00

Everyone’s entitled to preferences, but most people would probably find those preferences a bit too strict. Just say what you want early on so you can know if you’re compatible.

duckyboys8 · 2022-10-25T15:52:08+00:00

Good luck with that.....you used to be able to meet women through family networks ie church but TikTok is the new church now families father on Sundays and spend hours on TikTok......

PeanutButtHer · 2022-10-25T16:16:44+00:00

You say you have no problem getting girls? Then spin those plates and vet them well.

jackedtradie · 2022-10-25T16:34:45+00:00

I’m 31 and I’ve had maybe 2 in my life.

My advice? Relationships work best when the guy is more attractive than the girl. If your a 7 and you date a 7, she’s gonna be looking for an 8. Find yourself a 6 that’s just happy she’s got a 7

theshakermaker · 2022-10-25T16:47:33+00:00

my confusion sometimes is my girl is very introverted and indicates she doesn’t like to be out in public, bars, clubs etc.. Yet when we go out she always wears or dresses that draws so much attention to us. one extreme to another then I start over analyzing this thinking there is something I don’t know about her (trust issue). she’s so dedicated to me though but my past makes me doubt women when I think something doesn’t add up right.

Traditional_Ask_7395 · 2022-10-25T17:42:36+00:00

You don’t.

Malkor · 2022-10-25T16:00:17+00:00

My wife certainly went out and had fun, and maybe entertained attention from other dudes when we were your age.

Then she met me, and her boundaries came about after we talked about being serious... Heck, I admitted to some stuff that happened before the talk, and here we are - happy, committed and hopefully she'll get my Life Insurance payout at a convenient time/etc.

I think you've just not met the right person. Enjoy the ride!

manicsuppressor · 2022-10-25T18:09:03+00:00

Marry foreign.

SimpleCanadianFella · 2022-10-25T17:07:38+00:00

My wife doesn't have this problem because she's semi traditional, just find a hijabi

mpusar · 2022-10-25T17:12:50+00:00

Honestly date like 3 to 6s. I’d rather date a woman who is average or a little below then these super good looking spoiled cunts who can’t hold a conversation.

duckyboys8 · 2022-10-25T15:54:00+00:00

Don't date any women than went to college .....

bunniesaresweet · 2022-10-25T15:13:04+00:00

What do you mean by show restraint around other men?

gear1989 · 2022-10-25T17:40:33+00:00

First off you need to give up on the whole "wife" idea. Marriage as we all know it, is gone. What we have now is a bastardized version of marriage.

You can literally do everything 100% right and she can still leave at any moment without reason. She will face no repercussions and many times is incentivised to initiate divorce and rewarded with money.

We currently live in a time where women are told that sexual liberation and career are paramount to their happiness. They value sexual liberation and career over marriage/relationships and even children.

Sexual liberation is at the forefront of many feminist dogmas. It basically translates into high body counts for women, which ultimately is detrimental to their mental health. It ruins their ability to pair bond and or establish a deep meaningful monogamous relationship with one person.

Society has given way too much power to women in relationships. This power imbalance situation has made it impossible for a man to secure a stable serious relationship with a woman. Where in the past you could try to convince your partner to stay, any persuasion, or any level of coercion is seen as manipulative, "toxic", and abusive.

Women have way too many options, way too many outlets for choosing options, and way too many resources to prevent you from stopping them.

If you try to set down boundaries, you will be classified as a misogynist, abuser, or a womanizer. You will be labeled controlling, jealous, possessive, and possibly face jail time if she chooses to falsify evidence.

There are way too many brainwashed simps out there that will validate your partners bad behavior. They will do favors for her, come to her "rescue" at all hours of the day, and help her cheat on you. You're essentially competing with an army of simps that will be there everytime you make a mistake or get into an argument.

Even if she doesn't sleep with those men, she will be talking to them about personal details in your relationship. They will always side with her because they think that if they agree with everything she says that she'll sleep with them.

Technology has also given the advantage to the cheater. It is impossible to keep track of all of her social media accounts and dating accounts. You will be unable to keep track of her phone 24/7. Women have an endless list of potential cheating partners at their fingertips.

The best you can hope for nowadays is a 1-2 year long relationship and it is never guaranteed that she stayed loyal the whole time. Just stay on your toes, wear a condom 100% of the time and when you acquire evidence of cheating, don't argue just make a clean break.

Personally that's what I do, I just enjoy the ride, or "ride the wave". I just count my blessings because there are a lot of desperate men that can't get a woman at all. I date with the intention of meeting a serious partner but I never get my hopes up. Most of my recent relationships have only lasted about 6 months to a year.

They always get "bored" once it starts to get serious. The beginning is always fun, a bunch of sex, a lot of touching, holding, adventure and energy but it always fizzles out and once the "high" wears off and they start looking to recreate that with someone "new".

I no longer argue or make an effort to keep them, the second they show any signs of wanting to leave I slowly start to withdraw myself from the relationship. You're not going to convince them to stay, trust me. No amount of romance or money will reignite the spark.

I have even had women propose the idea of open relationships on multiple occasions. I immediately shut it down and laugh it off.

Devi1s-Advocate · 2022-10-25T17:24:19+00:00

You're boundaries are valid, not insecure, but what you need is to find a woman that finds you so attractive that she's just disinterested in the option of other men.

BlockBadger · 2022-10-25T16:00:26+00:00

Many things here are not legal, and may have been where you came from (like hitting children as punishment for instance, in banned in many places).

Trying to restrict who they talk to is getting very close to abuse, be very careful with how go about this. You could end up in trouble with the law as it could risk her safety.

I would recommend be as forward as possible about this, and understand that most women will very rightly have no interest.

Forcetobereckonedwit · 2022-10-25T17:30:12+00:00

Good fucking luck. All the cards are stacked against you ATM. You're going to have to find very religious communities and live in/become part of them, to find a woman in her 20s that wants what you want. Even settling abroad won't help that much as young women marrying you will expect to get to go back to the US with you, and that's where the trouble will start. Maybe some other guys here will have better answers for you but...in today's culture of onlyfans, Instagram, femist ingroup support for slutty behavior, rampant hypergamy and access to unlimited male attention 24/7... You're fucked. 🤗

mardigrasman · 2022-10-25T18:57:55+00:00

I had a girlfriend who was like you, and at least she admitted that she was insecure. She felt that any woman who paid attention to me was someone I was cheating with. Her jealousy and insecurity are what ultimately broke us up and I am a better man for it. Your problem is not the women in your life, it’s you. While you want someone “who respects your boundaries” you mention nothing about respecting women who can be comfortable around other men. Why worry over something you have no control over?Work on yourself, don’t ruin a woman due to your lack confidence. Talk to a therapist.

ReWildingOfMen · 2022-10-25T17:24:14+00:00

Here's some tips I've found after a life time of failures... And then finally wonderful success..

The woman should have female friends... And not really any male friends. (Basically masculine women tend to be repulsive to genuinely feminine women, and they naturally self select themselves out of friendship with them, more easy to blend in with male friends as 'the special one')
The woman should be clear about wanting to have children and wanting to be a wife... And how actually that's her dream. And her wanting to be a stay at home mum, has a different feeling - it's not about being a kept woman and fucking the personal trainer... It's about being able to lovingly clean the home and make it beautiful, it's about caring for the children in a simple and loving way, it's about kissing your clothes as she folds them and puts them away....
The woman should have a certain humbleness/sweetness to her... And NOT materialistically motivated, a woman who can appreciate the little things, and is greatful for the love of a good man.
Such women tend to have super low body counts, and should NOT be taken advantage of or 'gamed' into sex for any reason. They are so precious and wonderful, and a man is duty bound to be honest and forthright with them about their intentions. IF a man doesn't know what he wants/just wants to see where things go.... Then keep away from such feminine creatures, if you do not know your own mind then your not ready to lead a genuine woman in sacred relationship.
Any social media presence, especially of them exposing themselves in figure hugging clothing ... Even if it's for their 'fitness channel' is a HUGE red flag of an attention seeking unhealthy woman.
Such women are less flashy or done up a lot of the time.... They may be wearing a cardigan in a quiet bar, or seem a bit more steady and grounded in their energy.... Less cheap surface level frills and drama... But peace and care and compassion....

These women do exist... Who are true to their feminine nature. But they can be difficult to find.

They will naturally repsond to an honest and forthright man, who has both good boundaries, masculine grrr and direction in life. But also a loving and compassionate heart.

Good luck, and don't accept anything less... Such beautiful creatures are even more under attack than men are these days.

🤜🤛

Retardace · 2022-10-25T19:39:06+00:00

It’s cuz you’re a bitch bro. Simple answer is this. When you’re a real male, you won’t get those problems.

Anih1list · 2022-10-25T17:43:34+00:00

A big problem with women is they don’t really communicate how to make them comfortable. It’s up to you to figure it all out yourself. Don’t be a woman in this situation. If you don’t want your girl talking to other guys, or if you think women ought to be uncomfortable with men by default (except you), tell her you’re an insecure crapsack who distrusts any perceived competition (AKA men) and hopefully she’s a catholic virgin dom. We at MensRights believe men can be trusted around women.

Icy-Start5536 · 2022-10-25T18:11:53+00:00

No buddy you got it backwards. Do NOT buy into that boundaries crap. The only time you should utter the word "boundaries" is to game a feminist in order to get laid or look good around other people.

Demonostrate. Do NOT explicate. Nor should you pre-emptively communicate boundaries because that would be an ultimatum and ultimata don't work.

Just give her enough rope, and the. Lean back and watch what she does. If she naturally submits to you and wants to be your partner she'll pull the rope along with you, if not she's very welcome to hang herself with it.

You can't condition an outcome which is based on someone else's behaviour, you can't change it anyway. But you can react and adapt. Reacting is often antifragile, acting is often not.

ExampleMajor · 2022-10-25T16:17:03+00:00

I met my wife at an old job.. we became best friends which lead to a FWB but we was okay if the other was talking to someone and took a step back.. we eventually got together been the best 5 years of my life .

I will say I knew her for a couple years before we hooked up the first time.. all in all we know each other for around 10years.

Help_Me_Im_Lost__ · 2022-10-25T18:35:30+00:00

If you are religious, church. Girls brought up in church are a lot more conservative in dating/flirting and have are very loyal and respect the different roles men and women have in relationships.

dixieStates · 2022-10-25T19:07:09+00:00

``` Hey, hey, hey, hey

If you want to be happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife So from my personal point of view Get an ugly girl to marry you ``` -- JImmy Soul

girraween · 2022-10-25T19:32:34+00:00

What is deliberate restraint?

Also, this isn’t the right sub for this.

Aware_Refrigerator40 · 2022-10-25T19:52:11+00:00

You tell ‘em you won’t stand for shit like that and that’s it. If they won’t listen you drop them and move on.

SympatheticListener · 2022-10-25T20:13:26+00:00

I had such a hard time getting dates so eventually got stuck with the woman I married. She's no beauty wueen, but we are stuck to gether.

Title	How do you guys find a wife who’s not always entertaining attention from other men?
Author	AnonJetlag
Upvotes	169
Comments	239
Date	October 25, 2022 3:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/yd74wx/how_do_you_guys_find_a_wife_whos_not_always/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-do-you-guys-find-a-wife-whos-not-always.1136474 https://theredarchive.com/post/1136474

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